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k.kong
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Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 154 | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/20/2006 6:02:24 PM | | Sexual chemistry is paramount for me not just the sex per say but all the flirting and attitude that goes with it. If there isnt just the right chemistry then its doomed before it even begins, sometimes I just dont want to admit it right away. If it is there and the feeling is mutual, I will do anything for her and feel so connected to her that its almost to die for. Thats my personal experience anyways. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/20/2006 6:23:17 PM | This is a great question sevensq! It's funny because I wonder quite a bit about online dating in general and if people (including myself) aren't setting themselves up for failure. I mean if you think about how you normally meet someone it usually happens in a couple of ways:
1. You meet someone and you're instantly physically attracted to them - Immediate Chemistry!
2. You know someone maybe through mutual friends or whatever and you hang out with them in group settings for a while and at some point, something changes between you - for lack of a better term - Delayed Chemistry.
But it's interesting because even in the second scenario, I think if you think enough on it, you had some sort of interest in that person even if they got on your last nerve to begin with, there was still some small attraction to them to begin with. It just took some time to grow into full-fledged chemistry.
I'm sort of rambling, but in answer to the post - I wouldn't rule out dating someone just because I wasn't totally smitten with them on the first date. Now if we just didn't click, not meaning click like chemistry, but if we had nothing in common or worse, I thought he was a jackass then that's another story!
Sometimes I think with online dating, people want the first scenario and if they don't get it, they're out and on to the next one. Maybe people should give that very small flicker a chance to grow into a true flame! :-) Good Luck!
Joan | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 12/20/2006 7:49:20 PM | | I know plenty of nice, sweet guys that I like as friends but don't have any feelings for romantically. Unfortunately, every friendly meeting seems to fuel their interest -- it's like pulling a band-aid off. They start calling again and I have pull away from our friendship. It's depressing to see a possibility with no future. | |
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.all.
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Joined: 9/29/2007
Msg: 161 | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 7/13/2008 10:57:14 AM | | Hell no. I went out with this guy just last week, it was a setup through my mom and her best friend. The guy somehow found out where I worked and kept coming back until I was in just to ask me out. Number one, thats creepy. Secondly, the second I met him, I knew he wasn't my type but went out with him anyway, as a favour to my mom and her friend. Number three, the guy turned out to be a real jerk. Within the first few minutes of conversation, he asked me if I was bipolar or had any kind of mental condition. Hello, definitely no chemistry. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 7/13/2008 2:42:56 PM | Give it a few dates at least. You never know. Sure, chances are that you just arent "into" that person... but sometimes we assume or categorize too much.
Example: Several years ago I met this guy, typical nerdy guy. He had a degree in Polymer Science from one of the most academic colleges in this area. He dressed a little "mature", and was kind of a dork. But, I like dorks, so I went out with him anyways. The first few dates I wasnt really feeling "it". But, after a few weeks he started to grow on me. And, when we eventually had sex... WOW, he blew my mind! He was the best i had had up until that point.
So, never assume you have someone figured out! They could just surprise you!! | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 7/13/2008 6:08:36 PM | Well, as my bad luck would have it or not have it, I have recently been dumped by someone who said that the sexual chemistry was not there. Everything else is there, that I am a good guy and stuff like that, but just not the chemistry.
It makes it hard sometimes, cuz if you feel that way, and the other person does not, then what are you supposed to do when trying to move on? | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 11/1/2008 12:39:21 AM | initial attraction and sexual chemistry are not the same. someone can be attractive at first and within minutes, it's a no go. someone may not ring your bells and then after a bit and out of the blue, suddenly your alarm goes off!
i would give it a bit of time, unless you are absolutely sure that you are turned off by someone who starts advancing physically. however, if you like the person, i know it may still evolve. i was not "at all" attracted to my ex SO in the beginning. in fact, he started to annoy me. but then, we got to dancing and this "being" crawled out of his exterior self. the chemistry was electric. i was quite shocked! slowly out crawled the little boy and then the man. slowly over two years, he crawled back in again.
aliens! that's all i can say.
however, in all seriousness, i'd give someone a chance and i'd also make sure that my initial attraction does not dissipate. that is why it takes a bit to really "begin" to know someone. otherwise sealed deals and partnerships get interrupted and disrupted way too quickly. for me, i'm into the next one for the long term. i will be taking my time, getting to "truly" know him.
and yes, once we decide if it's a possible go--there absolutely must be CHEMISTRY!!! it gets you through the stupid times and is a source of energy, healing, creativity and motivation. it feeds the union and "united" is a powerful force. | |
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| If you cannot feel sexual chemistry, should you continue to date someone?
Posted: 11/1/2008 1:32:22 AM | Chemistry is the attraction that one feel for another, the fitness, in biology terms of the mate to be able to have the best genes available for the next generation.
Have a relationship without evil sex, and see how it change the preconcevied notions about sex that we have in our society. Sex is wrong before marriage, because the people having sex are too incompetent and immoral to have it in the first place.
Pack of animals. Just the fact that we do the peacock mating ritual dance denouces our intelligence, what seprates us from animals? Our abililty to remain celebiate for the greater good. | |
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JAC43
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Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 169 | |
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