| Are you a 'Giver' or a 'Taker'?
Posted: 8/25/2008 1:28:38 PM | I think it really depends on the situation, the people involved and how I feel at the time. Sometimes I'm very much a giver, sometimes a taker and sometimes I do nothing. I offer help within my range, my capabilities. I've learned to recognize my boundaries/limits and not go beyond them. I don't have to please everyone. One of my life's lesson if you want.
I have a friend who cannot say no, he simply can't. And he gets into trouble with his partner because sometimes it will impact on their relationship and he gets angry. And yet, he says yes all the time. | |
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| Are you a 'Giver' or a 'Taker'?
Posted: 2/6/2009 4:23:01 PM | I'm both. I give a lot of my heart and self when in a relationship. I do so willingly, but I have learned to not do it blindly. Basically, I expect to get some of what I give back from the woman I am with. I'm not talking financial stuff or gifts or anything like that. I'm talking about giving of their time, heart, feelings, and friendship. Yup, I expect the person who I am in a relationship with to actually be friends with me lol. I also expect it to be done naturally. I shouldn't have to ask for a woman to be there for me if I need her or be there with me when she wants to be or be there with me when I want her to be there.
It goes both ways really. Otherwise resentment builds and then my temper rises and I end up pulling away from the person. | |
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| Are you a 'Giver' or a 'Taker'?
Posted: 2/7/2009 4:41:22 AM | ^^^ There is a lot said in your last statement Dante!
I have found that on the occasion I decided to take for a little while - it was resented after - by myself and others. Mainly because - when I wasn't able to give back in the manner I wished - I felt others became upset with me and perhaps looked upon me as being a 'selfish taker' - that is 'not' how I wish to be seen - ever! The circumstances of my life have changed drastically over the past few years and has change the way I give and how I can give! Again that has put me in a position of feeling guilty and I really feel that I will not be forgiven by some - nor will I be looked upon in the way I wish to be viewed. So I kinda see myself back to square one - not being able to take - for fear of being seen as selfish - rude - or uncaring! So I guess that is why we become givers - we want to be seen as decent caring - upstanding people.
I have found that it's easy for others to slander you when you are too much of one and not the other - on both sides of the coin. It's a dog eat dog world where we want to be held in high standard - but there will always be those who take us down - for not being what they want us to be.
So all we can do is be the kind of person we feel comfortable being. Whether that is a giver or a taker - we have to find that middle ground that makes us feel good about who we are and fvck 'em if they don't like what they see! | |
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| Are you a 'Giver' or a 'Taker'?
Posted: 2/10/2009 10:33:53 AM | Being a daughter, mother, ex wife and an AIDS Buddy, you have to be a giver, YET,
a few years ago I was sooooo sick, and nearly died in the middle of winter on my balcony when my lungs colasped. Lying on the cement trying to catch my breath, I kept thinking, where are all the ones I helped? How come no one has called to check up on me when they havent seen me around? Where's my home made chicken soup? Most important, I thought, man oh man, its winter, no one will find me until spring thaw when I start smelling up the place. lol.
Im still a giver but selective of my time. I've learned to be a taker and be gratefull for the time and or help. I've learned that in any relationship, if one is only the giver, it rarely works out. Someone is going without.
I beleive I've found the balance | |
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| Are you a 'Giver' or a 'Taker'?
Posted: 2/10/2009 10:59:01 AM | yeah very true in some instances you are giving and taking at the same time! Advice is something I like to give and when I have a problem that I need help in solving I will take advice from friends and family!
I have a lot of love to give to others and to share my life's experiences which I hope others in my life will take to make them a better person.
I am very open to listening about what others can give me which will help in the future! Everyone has a different perspective so maybe your wise words will be something that empowers me :)
From there if I see someone who needs my help I will remember what others have told me in the past and pass it on...pay it forward :) | |
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| Are you a 'Giver' or a 'Taker'?
Posted: 2/12/2009 10:16:42 AM | Good question.
I am agiver and like to be generous, however I find that there are many out there that do not reciprocate, so I have reduced my giving to those persons.
I guess I was tired of feeling burned by them. | |
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| Are you a 'Giver' or a 'Taker'?
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:04:07 PM | | There's no question in a good relationship (whether friends, family or romantic) you need to do both. Sometimes not easy to learn and do. I love to give and am less easy to take. I guess I thought taking was selfish. I know its not though. If you don't give the others a chance to give to you and for you to receive gracefully and gratefully, you are depriving the other person of that wonderful feeling of being appreciated and necessary. If you get stuck in the always giving mode, eventually you will become resentful. | |
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