| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/4/2008 4:26:00 PM | Reminds me of a joke;
A woman, just divorsed from a cheating , abusive relationship put an ad in the personals for "woman seeking loyal, non-abusive good lover' . A short time later, while working around the house, she hears the doorbell ring.
on her front stoop is a man with no arms and no legs.
"Can I help you?" she asked.
"I'm here answering your ad in the paper"
After a long pause she says " OH! I get it. you have no arms so you cant hit me, and you have no legs so you cant run around with different women..... But...are you good in bed??
With a smile he says "How do you think I rang the doorbell?" | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/4/2008 7:15:52 PM | I've gone out with women - one recently - who were emotional amputees... intellectuallually disabled women too. I just wish their disability was as obvious as a limb amputee so I would know to avoud them.
A missing limb has about as much to do with a woman's datability as the price of beets in China. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/5/2008 5:39:07 PM | 
Wow - it's nice to hear there are open-minded men and women who look past someone's differences - including amputations. I don't know about the price of beets in China - but I do know - it's not about what's missing - but about what I've still got.
Peace Out Fisher-people   | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:13:55 PM | In college I was very attracted to a guy who was paralyzed and in a wheelchair. He had been an athlete and suffered a freak accident. He was cute, charming, smart, and personable. I would have seriously considered dating him if I had not already had a boyfriend. And I was in nursing school, so I had some idea of what I would have been in for.
However, a man I IM'ed a few times on here had been trading posts with a woman that he said looked just like Cheryl Crow and he was really anxious to meet her. When he got to her house, she opened the door and that is when he discovered that she had no arms. I can only imagine how shocked he was. The moral of the story is tell it all up front I guess. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/6/2008 8:41:32 AM | My own experience with amputees has been that they offer more, not less, PlanB. Vive la difference! As you say, it's all about what you have. I wish you productive fishing in good water.
-Gray | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/6/2008 9:23:22 AM | | I sit here reading this thread, and I am just sickened, not because I am an amputee, as a matter of fact, I was born this way, yes I am different, but that's not why I write, yeah I've had my share of stares, snicker, snide remarks, I avoid drive thru's as some narrow minded people from the shallow end of the gene pool tend to drop my change into the car when I reach out to take it. in retrospect I'm glad that those narrow minded folks who posted negetive thoughts wouldn't date somebody who was different, it acts as a filter for those who are different, you know culls the gene pool in a different sort of way, to those who posted a positive response I applaud you, you have insight , you are wise and secure, to the others may I direct you to the Darwin pages, may you find your reward there | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/6/2008 9:30:38 AM |
she opened the door and that is when he discovered that she had no arms.
How did she open the door? | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/6/2008 11:28:03 AM | luvcharlie...
That is the most biggest mistake to do!!!!!!!!!! One woman having leg prosthesis in both legs told me that she had taken some man at her home, and he had found the truth when they went to bed, and she said he was a little bit shocked!!! I would have been shocked too! I've always avoid situations like that.
Siryaksalot:
Yes, they say everybody has a right to be what they are, or what they want.. but as you have noticed there are lots of people. They all have an opinion, and I think it's our right. Ofcourse it feels bad for me as a woman to hear man saying he couldn't date me because of my disability. But I wouldn't judge him for that. I haven't met any men like that in my life, so I think that when they see me walking, and limbing a bit, they don't want to know any more details. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/6/2008 2:33:39 PM | i have dated 2 different guys in the past who were in wheelchairs (they were on an online dating service and it didn't show it in their pic). but i got past it and it was very do-able. one ended up being incredibly manipulative... so... broke up with him. the other was an emotional wreck... hooked on morphine and valium (ie happy-- sad--happy--sad). ahh... the things you find out 1-2 months into something.
yeesh. wheelchair... no problem. insides.... that was a different story | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/16/2008 4:59:40 PM | Interesting topic and interesting posts.
In regards to this question, one of the products my company manufactures is a new type of elevating wheelchair system that goes way up giving the user complete height access to anything anyone else can get to. I recently did a custom job for a friend that i've known for years who has no arms, and needed one of the units to get her high enough to work in the kitchen with both feet. She cooks, and she sews, can tie shoelaces, open doors, drive and do pretty much anything that anyone else can do and possibly much more than some as well, and simply does it with her feet instead of hands.
In regards to dating an amputee, well i was married to one for 9 years and have dated several others. In regards to my ex, even though we weren't right to be married to each other she is a very sweet and wonderful woman, and we've maintained a wonderful friendship both before and after the marriage, and i've also dated amputees who were very much into power and who's purpose in a relationship was to hurt the person they loved as this is what gave them pleasure, needless to say those relationships didn't last very long as this is something i have no need to do to others nor will i have it done to me.
In regards to dating or being with one in the future, yes, absolutely, provided my other attractions are met, that she is also a person who knows how to let life be a peaceful and happy thing. I find the physical differences to be intresting and in some cases they can prove to be very erotic as well, and these are generally people who have overcome challenges and also know what life is about. The women i have no interest in dating are the thousands of typical common barbie dolls who's profiles are posted on here, who all want the same foolish things and in who's profiles i find no indication of any sort of character or substance of any kind, nor any difference between one and the next. Again, based on past experience these are more likely to use a man than to love him as they think they can get away with it because of how they look.
I suppose that the true disability is being "normal" as 99% of the people in this world are, and the one thing they have in common is that they are absolutely terrified of having to think for themselves and therefore simply do what society tells them to do and become what society wants them to be in order to "fit in". Since society's rules are generally established to maintain money and power for the people who already have it and prevent anyone else from going into competition for that money and power, this also guarantees that the "normal" person will not accomplish very much in their lives and the only reason they are able to survive in the first place is because of the 1% of us who are actually willing to think and come up with a means for them to do so :)
Anyway, theres my two cents worth, so i hope those reading this have at least found it entertaining :)
Dave :{) | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 10/29/2008 5:00:11 PM | I have dated two amputees.
I would definitely date an amputee again if I had the opportunity. I would actually prefer to date a woman who is an amputee. I don't know why, but I find their bodies very attractive for some reason.
I don't care what the cause of her amputation is. Presumable she is healthy now, just somewhat inconvenienced by the lack of a limb or more. Being an amputee does not make anyone more or less datable, or lovable. Everyone has dreams, and experiences which shape them. People are all the same on the inside. Physical limitations do limit some activities, for instance someone missing both legs might not go backpacking over long distances.
The everyday things you think would cause people trouble, like a set of stairs to a friends house causing trouble to someone without legs is not as much a problem as you would initially believe. Most of the amputees that I have met are very mobile. A limb may be missing, but everything else works. It is not like a functional limb is dead, and you have to keep checking that it is not being damaged. The limb was removed, so it is not heavy and causing dead weight, it is absent and not causing a problem. In some cases where a partial limb is lost, the rest of the limb is still functional, an the person can use that limb to best effect with or without prosthetics.
I know one woman who was born with her arms and legs missing above the elbows and knees. She is now living with a long term boyfriend, but for a few years she had her own apartment and lived independently, including working a 40 hour work week, and driving to work and back. I do not expect that most amputees missing more than one limb to be able to duplicate that feat, especially if their condition is recent, but I wanted to point out that a perceived disability of someone you meet on the street is not as limiting as you might imagine.
So if you do meet an amputee, instead of breaking things off early, give the person a fair run, you will probably find that they have a lot to offer. If it doesn't work out and she is an amputee in her 20s or 30s send her my way, or show her my profile.
-Michael | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 12/15/2008 6:25:03 AM | I agree wholeheartedly.
Missing a limb is not the whole person, but an aspect among many.
I dated a woman who was missing a lower leg when I was in my 20's
and we had great fun and many intelligent, caring conversations.
I actually found it appealing when she would take her prosthesis
off and she would hold on to me for a balance.
I would date an amputee again. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 2/14/2009 3:54:06 PM | | As an amptuee, I am both pleased and dissmayed by the topic. Back in 2004 i lost my left arm AND leg to a train injury. Since then, Ive been with as many girls as most single men in their late teens/early 20s. The thing that I have had the most difficulty with is finding a girl whoes not just fasinated with the fact that im an amputee. Most of them fall in love with the intrigue, mystery, and fascination of my prosthetics, and the fact that im still "normal". | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 2/19/2009 7:01:11 AM | I have not dated an amputee before but I did date a guy for 2 years who's arm was paralyzed due to an an accident involving a trash truck and a motorcycle when he was 17. Guess who was on the motorcycle.
He had extensive nerve damage and had absolutely no use of his hand, and had just enough movement in the elbow that he could still use his arm to carry things by holding it against his body. His hand was atrophied just like a parapalegic's would be. When going out and about or during physical activities he would often use a sling just because that kept his arm stable. He was a widower (his wife had died of cancer) and she had made him many different slings in different colors (instead of the old hospital white or blue) so he could "dress up" with the sling too. I even helped him sew up some torn ones for him.
It was amazing sometimes how much he could with one hand and how he got around things that would be difficult with two. He was a computer programmer and could type pretty darn fast with one hand. He did limit his shoes to slip loafer styles rather than ones with shoelaces, although I am sure you probably could learn to tie shoes with one hand, but it was probably just easier.
I was in a straight cast (following surgery on my elbow) for 4 weeks so I could certainly sympathize except I still had use of my fingers of course.
What was stupid though was all the stupid questions strangers would ask him. "Oh, how did you hurt your arm?", thinking it was a recent injury. Sometimes people would even ask him "How did you break it?" even though he was not in a cast. Also it was his right hand arm and sometimes someone would put out their hand to shake hands with him. He would then just put out his left and kind of grasp the other person's hand. People really don't pay attention sometimes!
He was very patient with them though (I guess after years of having to deal with it, you just get that way). If it had been me, I probably would have been sarcastic as hell. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 2/19/2009 8:04:07 AM | | wouldn't bother me, but then again, i'm not the shallow type. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 3/25/2009 11:05:34 AM | | as an amputee myself i find it hard to find an excepting woman there are lots of them im sure but i seem to find the others lol | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 3/25/2009 1:57:19 PM | I have not dated an amputee however, i know this couple that has been married 17 years and he had lost an arm in Viet Nam.
They both love to hunt, even bear hunt. His wife even goes out on her own as he taught her well.
They go out to dinner, dancing and movies , etc........ There is nothing that gets in their way of being happy.
But, they may be the exception and not the rule.
So, while i have not dated an amputee, i know there can be happiness there and i think it takes two strong people if it is going to work. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 3/28/2009 9:48:10 AM | | Being a person with disabilities and a recent amputation I felt compelled to toss in some thoughts. Some backround first, When I was a young man I worked as a wildland firefighter. In 1984 I was ona a fire when I was hit by a falling tree drug down a hill and had my left femur fractured in 3 places just below my hip. Fast forward to 1998 I was working as Santa on the Christmas Ships and was walking down a very slick dock slipped came down in a hurdlers position and did a spiral fracture of the left femur has a result of that when they repaired my leg it ended up a inch and a half shorter then my right. I had a number of problems with it as a result then I picked up a MRSA virus somehow and in order to save my life they had to amputate my foot. They amputated my foot not my spirit or sense of humor and my other mechanics work just fine thank you very much. I also lost part of my right index finger to a chainsaw in 1980 and unless I point it out most people do not even notice. As I read through this thread however I was appalled by how ignorant, self centered and narrow minded some people can be. I am so glad that they were in a huge minority I just hope and pray they do not procreate and contaminate the gene pool further. My point is I ended up disabled not through my own actions but through what I like to call "incidents of fate". I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Actually had I not been standing where I was when that tree fell I would not be typing this today. What all of this has done is given me strength to face my challenges and an appreciation for life and how quickly it can be snuffed out. It has made me a person that stops and smells the flowers. Would I date a fellow amputee? In a heart beat because I know she's only missing a limb and not her personality. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 4/1/2009 8:42:49 PM | | I am an amputee. My right leg was amputated 17 years ago due to bone cancer. I do not consider myself disabled but inconvienced at times. There are benefits from having an amputation and I am not referring to handicap parking. There are men and women who are devotees, which means they are attracted to amputees. There is more to a person then their outter limbs. If you are in an environment where you feel welcomed, you do not feel disabled. | |
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getyou
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Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 120 | |
| Dating an amputee
Posted: 4/2/2009 12:07:07 PM | | jesus you guys it's the preson who gives a **** about the body if your mind connects then you connect heart and soal guys everything or nothing! | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 4/4/2009 2:30:51 AM |
If you are in an environment where you feel welcomed, you do not feel disabled
A lot of wisdom in that statement.
Interesting thread to me. I'm missing my left index finger and the use of the middle one, but it happened like 20 years ago so I rarely think of it anymore. I'm surprised that some people would reject someone for it, but then, it takes all types I guess.
I can understand why disclosure is important, too. No one likes to be thrown off guard on a first date and have a "Crying Game" experience - mostly because we don't want to come across as insensitive jerks. Failure to disclose could leave someone feeling bushwhacked. Not sure where I'll come down on this and if I should edit my profile. Maybe just change the pic. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/21/2009 9:15:29 AM | Hi my name is Adam and I wish that could sweep up and date a female like that. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/21/2009 9:30:56 AM | I do not think I could get past a disfigurement of that amount.
Not that I am a perfect person but I couldn't do it.
I'm sorry to all of those who have lost a body part. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:46:57 PM | | I don't know if I could. I have dated someone who could not walk but he still had everything. I'm just afred I would stair with out meaning to. It's not that I mean to be roud or that it sickens me. It dosen't, it's more cureosety and I'm afred I would come off sounding or looking mean of roud. And I would be uncoffterbul. | |
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| Dating an amputee
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:09:17 PM | I've done it, and usually it was OK. But before you do this, know your limits as it is not fair to get someone involved and then decide you can't take it. So yes, you can date people who have physical or mental disabilities and both of you can have a great time.
Particularly in the the case of the chronically mentally ill you will have incredibly enlightening experiences. Going on a dinner date with someone who is obviously mentally ill is an exercise comparable to climbing a 14,000 foot peak. | |
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