| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/14/2006 9:38:56 PM |
Oh for Christs sake...then why did you ask the questions to begin with? Folks offered you advice re: your op...and you disputed all advice....some folks tried the nice method...to help...and now you do the I have never bla bla bla. Sorry dude...but I think we thought you were asking for help. Carry on. Damn.
The only hope I was asking for was examples or something to restore my faith or respect for women. It's at an all time low this week becouse of the 3 women I am dating and each ones particular little thing chipping away at it.
I have one who apparently has a loose grasp on reality, telling me she was held captive for a month and then ended up marrying some mafia dude, police were involved and all that (BS) and thats why I hadn't heard from her in a month.
I have another who contacts me and say's she's interested in seeing where it could go, then after 2 weeks of dating she informs me she was really only looking for somebody to hang out with.
3rd one pretends to be very self rightous and come to find out she was wanting to add me to her friday night line up of surroget wallets.
It was just really making me wonder if relations between men and women must constantly be a game and if so, should I play to win. | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/14/2006 9:41:55 PM |
So if you have a personal problem we shouldn't respect you anymore either?..... NO ONE is confident and charming all the time
Didn't say that honey. There is a difference between a man having a personal problem and a man having a "dark cloud", woe is me mentality. That's what I'm talking about here, hun. A man with a negative mindset like that truly is a b---h. | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/14/2006 9:42:45 PM |
It was just really making me wonder if relations between men and women must constantly be a game and if so, should I play to win.
when did love become a game to win or lose???????????/ | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/14/2006 9:46:29 PM |
You are 32 how are you new to women or dating? Just curious.
Insecurity's when I was a child, mental abuse from my family. I think I dated a total of 3 times in highschool and none of which went past the first date.
In my early twenty's there were times when I was with a woman, but it was usually spur of the moment kind of things, and nothing was expected before or after.
After that I was pretty much an isolationist. Spent about 10 years concentrating on my carreer and who I wanted to be. All that pretty much got trashed in 2002. At which point I had to do a lot of soul searching, finally in 2005, I started dating.
So, I am new to this.
That help? | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/14/2006 9:48:46 PM |
It was just really making me wonder if relations between men and women must constantly be a game and if so, should I play to win.
when did love become a game to win or lose???????????/
I don't know, but that sure as hell is what it seems like. | |
|
| |
| |
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/14/2006 10:11:05 PM | "Go in for the sex and get out as fast as you can afterward. Don't think of the woman as another person, think of her as a hole to be plugged for awhile."
wow! thanks for the insight proteus... sorry to see you are so warped in your opinion of women. you know? your mom is a woman and maybe you have sisters or aunts, would you want them to be thought of as just holes for some man pleasure? since i grew up in reno we always told men like you directions to mustang... or there's the door, don't let it hit ya in the ass... hole boy! oh! ps...happy valentine's!!! | |
|
| |
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 5:02:46 AM | hmmm. You say you know who you are and are clear on that. What exactly are you looking for in a woman? Are you clear on that? I read your checkoff list and wondered what baggage you have that creates that type of checklist. If you check off some of those people, you may be missing out on the "right one". I think you need to develop a new checklist or better yet, THROW away THE CHECKLIST altogether and spend some time really trying to "connect" with women. You have eliminated a majority of women it seems with this checklist as many have been "cheated on", etc. How will you ever know if she is explaining what is "unique and special" about her just to try to make conversation and this is what some recent book or workshop told her she should do, as in "toot your own horn", etc.
What is wrong with one who has "turned their life around and only expect the best". I am very curious why you find that such a negative. I think you need to take a deeper look inside yourself.
rape story...check
abuse by boyfriend or significant other......check
being cheated on.......check
explanation as to why they are unique and special.....check
explanation about how they've turned their life around and only expect the best....check
You really need to understand yourself better I think, what you really want in a companion before you will find it. In the meantime, tell the gals you will go "dutch" as "friends" and be open minded enough to throw away that damn checklist!! In the short term, that will eliminate some of the negativity you must be projecting it is so pervasive in you right now. Don't go on a date thinking of it as a "potential long term". Simply go as friends until you figure all this out better. I think you will change your mind about most women.
Sometimes people talk and say things in the early stages of a relationship that are "learned conversations" and not totally who the person is. Give them a chance! You have become a self fulfilling prophecy. You will get exactly what you expect. Read a good book to discuss to keep the conversation away from those "checklist" subjects.
Good luck to you. Personally, I fear you may not be ready for a long term relationship and would be much happier seeking friends right now who can help you grow. | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 5:17:06 AM | Perhaps it would come as a surprise to you that life is just as confusing and @#$ed up for women these days.
I don't play games, at least I don't think I do. I do my best to follow the program --- which usually seems to be "have a good time babe, don't get too close babe, don't expect more then what there is in this moment babe". And so, trying to stay in line with the program, I date multiple men --- not for them to pay for dinners --- but because I truly enjoy their company.
And if I've said to one, I've said to just about all, when the right one steps up and claims me and loves me and admits to wanting and needing me in his life, I will be there - steadfast and true. But I must not be the woman of any of their dreams because that just doesn't happen. So what would you have me do??? I have made it clear to a few along the way that I thought they may be the right one for me at least, but they must not have felt the same way because here I am, still looking.
So please don't loose faith or respect for women --- we are doing the best we can. | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 5:28:04 AM | don't complain
women are not saints, never were - if you had this illusion, it's time to face reality
women are not angels,
women are women,
......but it's pretty good that they exist | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 5:36:23 AM | | Here’s the thing - men, women ... it doesn’t matter. People, in general, suck. Just look around at the wonderful world in which we live. | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 5:43:19 AM | I think men and women hate the opposite sex and are losing respect for them, because you cannot control that individual.
If you are suspiscious of her or him and cannot trust them and you have a gut feeling they are sneaky and with holding something, guess what, you are probably right. Hire a private investigator and get it over with. And screen your NEXT POTENTIAL MATE/SWEETHEART.
Safer than sorry later. Bye.   | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 6:11:24 AM | There really some good woman out their left. If you really know what you want from a woman and a relationship and send out that aura, then you will eventually find one. Woman get played with and jerked around too, just got to move on, if you are losing your faith maybe you should throw in the towel and call it a day.
I still believe there is a decent guy out there just got to find him, it will happen.
Don't lose the faith;
D | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 6:30:02 AM | I have known a lot of people, mostly men, who have spent a lot of time overseas. Most of the ones I knew felt that the "grass is greener on the other side of the fence" attitude about seeing non-western women was a big mistake. We know the good and bad sides of our culture because we live in it. We tend to see only the side of a foreign culture that appeals to us. For example, in some eastern cultures if a man cheats on his wife she is considered to be justified in waiting till he's a sleep then slicing off one of his testicles. She doesn't have to have any proof either. I knew a guy who made a habit of finding a woman to live with when he was overseas. He paid all the bills, put the womens' kids through school, fixed things in the house etc in return for getting his meals cooked and sex. When his unit was transferred he left and found another woman in the new location. It was better than living on the ship or in barracks. One woman he was living with suspected him of sleeping with a neighbor woman and came after him with a butcher knife. Her meal ticket ran out the door and never went back.
Look before you leap. | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 6:40:11 AM | Wow, that’s a long, angry thread (once you actually read it, lol). Let me say, I have lost my faith and respect for relationships, but not for women. Relationships involve work, sacrifice and compromise - three things I do enough of in my life outside my home that I don’t care to add to my life inside my home. At least outside the home, there is reward. When you do it inside, it just means more work, sacrifice and compromise.
Therefore, I conclude, the problem isn’t with one gender or the other, it’s with the nature of romantic relationships. | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 7:17:05 AM | To quote Socrates...I am wiser because I am aware of my own ignorance.
proteus...if i were to use your method of judgement this would be my checklist for you:
abused as a child - check
can't spell - check
unattractive - check
hostile - check
major baggage - check
blames everyone else for his problems - check
controlling - check
never had a relationship and he's 32 so there MUST be something wrong with him - check
i didn't write the above to offend you but to make you aware of how you come across to others. does this open your eyes at all? YOU ARE NOT A CATCH!!! why do you expect to have one in your life?
if you want a good woman, take some time off and work on yourself. when you're a better person, you'll be able to attract a better person. again...this isn't meant to offend you or call you names. trust me...i've been there! it took a lot of work but i'm now one of the good ones and i'm attracting better people into my life.
fyi...when women tell you at 3 weeks that they aren't looking for a relationship it's because they're no longer interested in you but trying to let you down nicely. | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 9:32:54 AM | I checked the list and he is okay
he is maybe not a great catch for you, but for somebody else
there is one really suspicious point about you too:
American woman and has heard about Socrates...check!
maybe you heard only of the Brazilian soccer player in the 1982 world cup....called Socrates - that explains | |
|
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 9:58:50 AM | Simple solution
Don't date women who are unemployed or earn less than you do.
(Sounds like that's what you resent, unemployed or low-income women having a good time on someone else's dime) | |
|
| |
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 10:23:46 AM | guitarman
***I refer back to a saying my grandfather always said. If women didn't have a hole between their legs, man would have eradicated the species by now!
Bet the sheep in your neck of the woods love you right baaaaaaaaack, eh?
Squeak
 | |
|
| |
| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/15/2006 10:38:02 AM | Proteus
***I merely feel that my expectations of women have been let down.
Have NO expectations of a woman...then she can't let you down. I think you are looking for your Damsel....and when she fails to be what you want, you find reasons to cut her down. Why not accept each woman as she is...a human on a quest to find herself...some more lost than others.
**I do not feel down about myself.
Your original post disputes this. Negativity breeds negativity. Discover who you are...do not worry about who someone else is until you find yourself...
***And with this realisation, I must make a decision, to remain honorable or to level the playing field.
The field is now level...women are responding to the situation like men have for the past - all of the past actually. By doing anything other than being yourself, you are bringing the field down another notch. Which means women will have to stoop lower to find you. Don't think this way. Improve what you can offer...be happy with yourself....you might actually find yourself at a place in your life where you realize you don't NEED a woman, but you WANT one.
Squeak | |
|
| |
Home
login 
