| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/17/2006 10:51:10 AM | Proteus-
I'm pretty much done with this thread. Nobody seems to understand where I was coming from except for "adensdad" and it has pretty much broken down into meeningless crap.
Don't wine about The respones to Your thread after starting it,Did You expect a metal,
it was directed at Women..did You think they were going to cheer????
I know women have had to put up with it from Men, never said it was right. I was not depressed about things, I was making a commentary. So far the only thing this thread has taught me is that each individual can read something and interpret it differently.
commentary???from where I'm sitting sounds to Me like You hate Women
From a psychological aspect, i find that to be the most interesting. Especially with the animosity "sgracan" through out at this. If you read what I said, I was asking to NOT lose my respect for women. The comments I made about "A hole to be filled" and whatever were merely examples listed to express my point, yet she automaticly read them as my current method of looking at a woman.
"A hole to be filled" ...you cut it any way you want it...I still call it dislike and insecurity to write such things about Women.
When it comes down to it, I've been told that I show to much resect for women, every one of my dates have told me this. I've only recently learned that this is part of the reason I have been having such a hard time in dating. I was treating women with kid gloves in hopes of not offending them and essentially treating them differently than I would anyone in my normal day to day life.
every one of my dates?????..how is showing a Woman respect on a date hard???please xplain this therory...if anything it should get You more dates.....
As I have mentioned a few times in this thread, I am new to both women and dating. My knowledge on the subject is very out dated. This is another reason I haven't been having to much luck.
every one of my dates?????..hmm??..maybe it is time to break out of your shell
People may think what they want about why I started this topic, don't particularly care anymore, fact of the matter is, I was processing information. Trying to wrap my mind around a problem. This topic assisted me in that. It also gave me more information to work with and tackle other issues that I am thinking about.
processing information???gee I saw it as Anger towards Women and insecurity..
your words may i repeat.."Think of them as a Hole to be plugged for a while"
If anything You should take a break from dating and deal with other issues in Your life..
I'm losing my faith and respect for women
You already did.....and have for some time. | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/17/2006 11:19:13 AM |
What turned me off was that she knew she did not want any of them, she merely kept seeing them becouse they gave her a free meal and took her out for free entertainment, and gave her a nice ego boost for occasions such as today when she was showered in gift's. She was unequivocly using the men to take care of some of her problems since she is unemployed.
This is what I refer to as "princess syndrome". Her problem is that she's immature, and her parents didn't do a very good job raising her. Find someone a little more grown-up.
I have every reason to be bitter and lose respect for women, but I don't because I refuse to generalize. All men are not players who only think of sex and use women for that purpose and vice versa for women. I've been cheated on and hurt by the best of them (I could write a book), and I've put it behind me.
Often times it takes a lot of time and bad experiences to find "the one", but I'm still one of those romantics who believe in soul-mates. Don't lose faith in women, that's not fair to them or you. You need a better screening process and a lot of patience, that's all. | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/17/2006 12:56:04 PM |
The "TRULY NICE GIRLS" are few and far between I'm afraid.
It's easier finding a needle in a haystack.
And don't you forget it, sweetheart | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/18/2006 6:30:18 AM | Give me reason not to feel this way, honestly, I don't want to be the typical guy using a chic for her body, but I find myself starting to believe that mentality.
The reason is........Not all women are like that and those of us who don't fit your description, deserve respect!!! If you reduce your mentality to continue to think that way, you'll attract those who fit the image of what your imagination now leads you to believe is real! Seek and you shall find, and for goodness sake, don't generalize! No one wants to be just like everyone else, especially those of us who are not!  | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/18/2006 7:44:22 AM | Proteus,
So, you have now recognized being "new to women." On with the exercise of empirical education! You sound like a good man, don't let the stereotypes from what you've acknowledged as your limited education thus far preclude a future with the greatest joys a man knows in this life.
You have started to look within, you can move forward. Like Belfast said so well, ..."enough with the victim mentality..." Be a survivor, men have found it to be somewhat of an effective aphrodisiac for some time. God luck man. 
Edit: Oh yeah, forgot to echo the calls to look for women where you haven't thus far. | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/18/2006 8:01:22 AM | First question I would have is - is she sleeping with all these guys at once? Yeesh! Maybe that enters into the respect issue.
Next question is why does she have to decide unless both of you are looking for someone to 'settle down' with.
On the free meal, etc., issue - what the heck is wrong with her paying sometimes. Or dutch for that matter. Chivalry is great but not if one of the people is not really behind the idea. These days it seems like it's something that needs to be clarified at the onset of a relationship so that both people are on the same page.
There are good women out there all over the world just like there are good men. Thing is you gotta find that tree in the forest.
Gwyn | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/18/2006 8:02:10 AM | well I just wandered into this thread and hmmmmm!
don't we all at some point or another get to the "throw hands up" point?
isn't this about frustration?
I'm there myself and I'm also sure many others are as well.
It's like the oceans waves, troughs and crests
I understand losing faith, but I question the respect aspect! No matter what they do or how they treat you, respect should not be lost as a general.
I personally think ANYONE who is serious about dating, would agree it's very trying and frustrating
And most that ENJOY it, are probably just floating by, sucking up the attention! | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/18/2006 8:15:58 AM | There is a school of thought that postulates that we are attracted to those who will recreate the unresolved issues of out childhoods, giving us the opportunity to have a different outcome. However, unless and until we learn different ways of coping, we will keep meeting the "same" person, and having the same unhappy result.
I have to say I was skeptical at first, but I have since come to believe that if I walked into a room of 200 men, I would zero in on the one who was most emotionally unavailable - that is my weakness. But I'm working on it! | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 2/18/2006 9:29:02 AM |
If you read what I said, I was asking to NOT lose my respect for women.
So don't,already! I
think that you've been quite hurt recently and you would like to get even by treating women badly.
The old adage "2 wrongs don't make a right" still applies,so does "what goes around,comes around"...
Cindy O | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 12:29:21 AM | well, I am one of those 'nice women', but I would pass someone ranting about all women---over like yourself becuase I would feel judged from the start as possibly despiable to you by being female. Now: if you told me what you appreciated in women, that would inspire me and think-hmmn sounds like a desent guy maybe-lets see--Just sayin | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 3:44:07 AM | Totally old post, however, if the o/p has any complaining to do its with himself...
i see sooo many men out on the town over kissing womens asses, buying them free drinks all night -thinking he can control a woman with food, drinks and fake compliments -too stupid to realize he has doormat written all over him. then pissed off at ALL women, cuz the ones he attracts are playing on his so called macho image to lighten his wallet.
ask yourself, if someone came up to you showered you with compliments and free liquor, wouldn't you be a bit inclined to have a little fun too? | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 10:05:39 AM | | That is simple and easy,check your self ,why women are treating you that you don't deserve to be treated... Have you heard or read about * Cause and effect*???? | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:11:23 AM | | Games are played by those who are NOT interested period. It is that simple. Would a female act this way around Brad Pitt, a professional athlete, or a highly successful business man, the answer is NO. When females don't find what they are looking for $$$$, they act like fools. | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 11:31:06 AM | "There is only one explanation I can think of to explain it. She likes the fact that these guys take her out and feed her. Essentially, each guy is a free meal, free entertainment account and the occasional ego boost."
Proteus, despite all of your other rants, when it all shakes out, it seems like money is your issue. Personally, I usually make a $$$ contribution to a date. Actually, I make more money than some of the guys I've dated. Still, IMO, a gentleman antes up, and if you are counting coins TOO much of the time, you will not be able to fall in love.
I know this could be misinterpreted, but here goes....anyway....when I read your rant I felt some sympathy 'cos I have experienced some of the fidelity/games issues you describe with men I've dated. Then, I felt a sense of justice....that some guy out there was getting it done to him. 'Cos, I'll tell ya, I've been put thru the friggin' ringer by some of the guys I've dated. So, I've made up my mind, no more losers. Period. I just cut and run now at the 1st sign of something being amiss. ESPECIALLY tendencies toward infidelity.
After more thought, I can lose my vindictive satisfaction at your plight, and grow by learning that men also have to learn to let go of shallow user types, just as we gals do. | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 1:46:51 PM | I am not a religious person by any means, but correspond with a pastor who gives me advice and guidance when I ask, or need it, and he doesn't feel the need to try and convert me. What he wrote to me recently when we were talking about intolerance fits here, since you are considering treating women in a denigrating fashion and treating them like meat, since you are deluded enough to believe that that's all “they” are “good for”
He's told me he's seen the quick jump from religious/political division to flat out hatred in too many countries and even here in the States. All of a sudden the person you disagree with is evil (women vs. men in this case), and you demonize them, and you create this mentality that can lead to genocide. It's one step from dehumanizing people (treating them like meat or a “hole to plug”) who have a different view (or gender) than yourself, and depersonalizing them so that they are no longer human, and then you have a “right” to use them for whatever, or just get rid of them. Hitler did that, I don't think that that's a path that you want to start down. | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 2:02:19 PM | ...
hi.
the "game" you allude to and draw general consensus of are in more full truth a humanity of very diverse and unique individuals which share common physical and associated heritages. how a woman manage her own sexuality is a personal choice and it have various and contradictory social acceptance codes. but the "game" you imply is a "gender role" model of their personal expression and social gestures.
you love women for her sexualities but you have difficulty with the extended mind feeling world discovery. and it make you feel some insecure around her because you are yet learning that sexuality to each is not similar at all but different for each and every one. so different. they would play you like a violin and rock you in your cradle.
yer gonna have to learn to connect in other ways if you want to keep the squeeze dude.
and if yer squeezin ...she'll prolly keep ya around admire her cookin ....and if yer workin...she may even stay at home if ya show her the financial progress.
it may be the way in to her "socio-economic solutions".
if ya need help revisioning in your profile. you may request me to look at it with you.
never know. | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 2:14:38 PM | To the original post...
Do you respect your mother?
Almost all women who are born have it within them to be mothers. Women on the whole are more emotional and caring when the world demands it of them. The same cannot be said of men.
There are some women who lose sight of that fact.. As there are some men.
I wouldn't be the man I was today without my father... But I would be nothing without my mother.
My advice to you is get a grip. Don't hate women. Without meaning to sound like I'm spouting judgment from the arena seats of the 'Jerry Springer show'.... Don't hate the player, hate the game. | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 2:47:25 PM | ...he doesn't hate women . he loves them. but is frustrated at how to manage among the real world of multi-dimensional relations. which is why women can manage in unaware respects or/and admiring male company. women are more intelligent of love than males.
keep it simple. love is not economical primarily...and love can be complicated by mental-world transformations.
love is multi-dimensional and love is sexual.
may mind renew of love | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 3:08:04 PM | ...
it is easier for women to be passivists for male assertions where balance is accomodated.
which is why assertive women are having a difficult time in social transformation.
being both is impossible within and across a diverse and entangling emotional mental stair-case going down while aspirations go up ...
why ...? because males rule assertion. which translate that women rule by passivity where assertion require moderative relationship value to heal or return its nature.
the strongest women are yet meek...if anger bring ill of competence.
love to all | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 3:29:40 PM | Dude lighten up on yourself and the women you meet. I'm assertive and never had a difficult time transforming socially; I adapt well in many different circles.
I will pray for you to resolve the issues you currently face. Not all women are null and void of understanding. Your distorted view even disturbs your own self. I find your posts filled with sadness and pain. Let go and you shall find yourself in the end. | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 3:32:02 PM | Nahhh! I love the challenge; the hunt; the filtering process. Oh yes, I've been through a lot of phoneys and flakes but it's only made me a better man. I wouldn't have missed any of those "opportunities".
I appreciate women for who they are. They are our only partners in life and I love the differences: Their smiles, the way I can watch their minds work when I'm looking into their eyes, their softness, their abilities as Mom's, their devotion to me when we're dating, the way they study me when our eyes lock and most of their other qualities. Throughout my years of dating, my training in Psychology and my work with teens, I've learned how women "tick" so it's easy for me to relate to them when we're out together.
I've been with a lot of ladies and each has taught me something about the type of woman that I really want. Someone posted a thread earlier about being too picky but it's true; I think MANY of us are being trifle about our likes and dislikes with each other. So much so, that we're all going to stay single if we don't stop...
P.S. I think the OP is LONG gone but this is a valid topic... | |
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| I'm losing my faith and respect for women
Posted: 10/31/2009 3:34:53 PM | shore66:
There is a school of thought that postulates that we are attracted to those who will recreate the unresolved issues of out childhoods, giving us the opportunity to have a different outcome. However, unless and until we learn different ways of coping, we will keep meeting the "same" person, and having the same unhappy result.
Quite true. Patterns repeat synchronistically. rather eerie how the same people, physical/personality archetypes for better or worse, will keep coming around us, and it is us who are "generating" this outcome/pattern from the software of our past experiences, some of which we don't even remember consciously. | |
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