| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/18/2006 9:45:30 AM |
not if shes 6' 5" tall and your only 4'2"
Yes but the thoughtful,well brought up 6'5" lady will provide the 4'2" gentleman with a stepladder or at least a chair to stand on so they CAN see eye to eye...
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/18/2006 10:53:40 AM | Remember folks, a few Hollywood greats were short and had to stand on boxes to appear eye-to-eye with their leading ladies, Alan Ladd, James Cagney, Audie Murphy - are just the beginning.
An adventurous shorter man would consider a taller woman the equivalent of climbing Mount Everest. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/18/2006 11:03:24 AM | I totally agree with you ... have the decency and consideration to say so before the date concludes or within a day or two via a telephone call. Emails are so tacky.
I have had many dates where I thought we were making a connection and get the "I had a wonderful time ... I'll give you a call so we can do this again". Don't even utter those words if you don't mean them. I am not expecting marriage, only a little consideration. I think that is common sense etiquette and very few men practice it.
It's a shame. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/18/2006 11:08:12 AM | I always follow up with a thank you to the dates where I had a good time and remark on how comfortable I was and it would be nice to do it again some time. I think it is common courtesy on behalf of the woman but time will tell. I think that it sometimes embarasses the man because he feels pressure to reciprocate.
I do agree that a lot of men are checking out there next opportunity. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:05:09 PM | | I can have a great time and a great date, but not really be interested in pursuing anything, usually because i am not attracted enough to the guy, though I might like him a lot. I would say this is likely it. | |
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psylvr
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Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 82 | |
| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/18/2006 2:01:28 PM | | depends on what kind of signals you're giving, and what it is he's looking for. if he wants that wild passionate night and the signal you're sending is lets just be friends...or at the end of the date he says we should do this again and you're like yeah sure or ok whatever, if thats the case then u need to show a little more interest. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:10:20 PM | | ugly ****es usually keep me from asking her on a second date. i be nice on the first date and make her think i like her, then ill just get tired of putting up the act and neever answer the phone calls after that | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/18/2006 3:53:51 PM | I am one of those who likes the closure bit but I think this sort of communication is difficult for many men. I had a date a while back and it seemed to go really well. We continued chatting afterwards and he came across as really keen. Then he disappeared. After a few days of silence I mailed him. He apologised saying he didn't feel a spark and said that with each moment of delay it had got more difficult to say it.
I found out later that this guy had a reputation for chasing after just about every woman on the dating site, so I reckon he found a better option! Of course when he went silent on me, I knew the answer but I needed to hear it. If you have changed your mind or were never keen in the first place, it just takes a short polite good luck note, especially if you think the other person is interested and perhaps hanging on for a call. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:03:56 PM | | Guys and girls do this...It would be so much easier if being adults we could after a nice evening out say..Thanks I had a good time but don't think we are a match as opposed to the childish, chicken sh!t "I will call you"..As soon as I hear that phrase my automatic thought is "yeah right, I will be waiting by the phone with baited breath waiting for your call". As if!!!! | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:06:02 PM | | I think that your attitude is rare in a guy or girl. It's tough to say you don't feel the chemistry, but it is the right thing to do. I ask a woman out for a second time (OK she wasn't there so I left a voice mail), and no response. And this is a woman I respected for directness. Does she want me to call again? I don't know. Perhaps I'll never know. I applaude your courage, runner!. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:30:14 PM | | i think if you dont have sex with a guy on the first date he doesnt call back because thats what men are looking for, if you do have sex with him he doesnt call back because he thinks you are too easy, its a no win situation..lol | |
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ttstar
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Joined: 4/27/2005
Msg: 89 | |
| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/19/2006 5:20:46 AM | | Not sure guys can win on this one... judy and runnergirl in particular, say they want "balls" and honesty... are ya sure ya could handle it? You really want a guy to provide a list of things to you as to why he wouldnt want to proceed to date 2? I am not suggesting there is a list by the way! I have always been lucky enough to stay friends with anyone I dont wanna date again... but its tough not sending out mixed signals. Despite having made it clear that I wasnt interested in them romantically. The best point was made later in the forum ... that rather than passing the blame all of the time onto guys... pick up the phone and sort it out yourself!!! Could be that he genuinely is tearing his home apart looking for your number that he's lost!! | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/19/2006 5:34:58 AM | The question raised deals with the expectations both men and women have regarding dating online. Before I begin.......the question includes women as well as men. To the questions author. Do you suggest that after one date, a good date, you would remove your profile from the web site. Likeless for men. The nature of the beast here is the idea that not only the expectation of someone better coming along, we are convinced this will happen. Here in my home town I have participated now for a matter of months. Not one of the women that I have gone out with has pulled her profile and one woman has gone out with me 6 times. What is her story?
At best POF will yield a date now and then. After that your expectations may create your problems. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/19/2006 7:15:20 AM | well if it's just one date, i don't sweat it. i always call and say what a wonderful time i had and how i'd love to do it again. but if i don't get an answer, i just figure he's simply not into me, i don't take it personally and i move on. that's just men for ya. i know if i'm not interested, i just say so- but i have a feeling that's more of a woman thing to just say it or something. i just see it as being straight up and honest. but if one chooses to drop off the face of the earth, that's their choice- don't sweat it.
although, i have this friend i met a year ago, we seemed to like each other, hung out ALOT, had dinner, exchanged numbers, blah blah blah. so here i am thinking i met the man i'm going to spend the rest of my life with then he suddenly turns mean and cold. since by this time, we have the same circle of friends, i'd see him all the time. usually he's cold but once in a while he'll call me darling, kiss me and give me those bedroom eyes. i need to point out, we NEVER slept together so it's not like he was using me. so now, he's cold sometimes and flirty the other times. THIS is the behavior that actually does get under my skin. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/19/2006 3:20:11 PM | | Mainly a guy won't look for a second date if the first one just fizzled. If the chemistry on either side was not there then its over. We could find the woman to be very attractive but if she seems cold on the date then we won't waist time on planning a second date. Sometimes a woman may just be shy, guarded and too nervous to open up. The guy may interpret this as she is not interested. If you want to better your chances of a second date be more mindful of your nonverbals and try to be friendly and show interest. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/19/2006 3:47:11 PM |
Not sure guys can win on this one...
I believe I have to agree with the guys. How can we expect them to do what we are not willing to do. All the time I stop accepting dates with a guy or stop answering his email because I'm no longer interested. Telling him the truth is uncomfortable for me and I don't need that. Also, it would just make him angry. He doesn't want to hear the truth. He only wants to be told what he wishes to be the truth.
Any additional contact just encourages him to keep trying.; so, if he asks, to get rid of him, I'll tell him a lie that sounds better than the truth. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/19/2006 3:50:59 PM | Judy, nicely asked question i am suffering from a bit of that myself went out on thurs had a most fab evenin dude even brought me a flower when he dropped me off he told me he'd be in touch well that was thurs night well so much for gettin my hopes up NEVER AGAIN | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/19/2006 4:32:04 PM | | It has been my experience with these dating sites that it is the "chase". After you have agreed to meet, etc. and go out they think it's over. That is when they start all over again with a new victim. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/19/2006 5:43:09 PM | Why is it up to the guy?
Aren't we all equal here? If you had a really great time, why does the woman just assume its up to the guy to take the next step?
If I had a great date I sure woudn't sit around waiting for him to call me, I'd pick up the phone! | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/20/2006 9:58:34 AM |
I believe I have to agree with the guys. How can we expect them to do what we are not willing to do. All the time I stop accepting dates with a guy or stop answering his email because I'm no longer interested. Telling him the truth is uncomfortable for me and I don't need that. Also, it would just make him angry. He doesn't want to hear the truth. He only wants to be told what he wishes to be the truth.
That is nice to hear and totally true. This can be a very uncomfortable thing to do for many people, especially for ones like me that want to AVOID confrontation. Sometimes telling someone you don't care to see them anymore will just open another can of worms, and I for one just don't want to go through that. | |
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