| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/20/2006 10:18:31 AM | "i'd be man enough to tell her how i feel , and also tell her if i wasn't interested."
THANK YOU.Thank you. I can respect a man that respects me with the truth. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/21/2006 4:11:04 AM | | why is everything up to the guys, ladies? They don't have the same "Read my mind" handbook we got. You gotta just tell them whats on your mind, not hope they'll figure it out, because they won't. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/21/2006 4:40:53 AM | ^^^^ Gee Beachgal, some of us guy's have already figured out what 'some' girls
are about. And some of us have the girl's playbook in hand. It doesn't take
a rocket scientist to know what's on a girls mind....trust me! I figured it out
by my mid twenties. If you don't get a second date, sometimes it's bad
chemistry, and sometimes it's just a wrong girl you tangled up with. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/21/2006 5:02:24 AM | Bad breath. Complaining. Stuff between their teeth. They bring their grandma...and she's cuter, they talk non stop about their ex. They talk about long term with me (I just met her). Their socks don't match. They don't smell pretty..Their shoes don't match. Bad grammar. Inconsiderate, rude. Obnoxious. Bad dye job. She brings her kids and wants me to watch them while she goes on another date. They think unemployment is a great job. She had to take 5 buses, 3 streetcars, 2 subways and a cab to meet me. She grabbed my butt but was really taking my wallet. She forgot her dental plate.
Need I go on?
ooops, gotta go  | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/21/2006 5:03:40 AM | Hi Judy!
I'll go you one better! Why do men date you more than once, call every single day, text message EVERY single day and then...PFFFFTTTTTTT *Vaporize* This just happened to me this past weekend. He invited me to his place to cook dinner, said he would call and then.....NOTHING! WTF's up with that???? Don't tell me how he has been "waiting so long to find someone like me" and then pull the cowardly turd routine. I just don't have the answer for that. I would never hurt someone or lead them on in anyway shape or form. It's a miserable thing to do and as one friend pointed out to me...it makes it all that much more difficult for the truly nice men. Yes....I'm sure they're are men out there who are MEN and not little boys disguised to look like a man. Damned if I know where to find one though *scratches head*...if anyone knows where they are hiding out could you please drop me a line?
Blessings to you all!
Aries Girl
PS: By the way...this "gem" of a "man" was from our own beloved pond so ladies beware! | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/21/2006 5:07:26 AM | why are you making things so complicated?
it's easy,
they just were not attracted enough, or they were looking for something else.
guys and ladies, no difference.
they maybe have a good time on the first date, but having a good time once? that's not what they are looking for. is it? | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/21/2006 6:32:46 AM | What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
1. His wife catches him
2. His guardian catches him
3.his meds finally kick in
4.he gets over that bout of amnesia and remembers his wife and kids in Baltimore
5.they beam him back to the mother ship...
Not to mention boring ordinary reasons like having phone disconnected,running over cell phone with the lawnmower...
Or you just weren't what he had in mind for whatever reason. Is it stupid to make up your mind about somebody on the basis of one date?? Probably...
But if you call or email the dude just to say "Thanks for the fun time,enjoyed meeting you, hope to see you again soon!" and he doesn't respond,then you may write him off as an ignorant,screwed up moron who wouldn't know a nice girl/good woman if she ran over him with a Minneapolis Moline tractor,(for heavens sake don't call or email him and SAY all that! Some guys need to turn a date over in their minds for a year or so, don't shoot yourself in the foot ) Anyway, having done the polite thing you are now free to move on to somebody else,secure in the knowledge that you did your best and there just must be something wrong with the guy...
Cindy O
law abiding women seldom make headlines | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:23:34 AM | | rwedonealready, too funny, but whats wrong with socks not matching. thats just too much pressure... matching socks, geez! i liked this thread, sorry to the lady who started it, but youre getting some good good advice and hope you focus on yourself so if (when) there's a next time you have more self esteem to fall back on. it really comes with the territory i think. kooka | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:26:46 AM | Keyvan
I think you got it. Lord are you not suppose to have a good time regardless if they are the one or not. I always make sure someone has a good time when they are on a date. Does that mean I want to see them again....not necessarily.
Just let it go...now this disappearing stuff after a few dates. I guess they got to know you better and just decided they did not like you as much as they thought. Is that not what dating is about getting to know someone. Unless you have some sort of commitment...you have nothing. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:13:28 AM |
Don't go there. Men follow their hearts, and women "follow" their mind. THAT'S the reality.
HA! Know many women, do you?
Think about it - you know a guy's into you when he calls all the time and wants to spend every moment with you. He wouldn't waste 2 days let alone 2 hours without letting you know.
Exactly! It's one thing for a guy to say (at the end of the first date), "Hey, this was fun, I'll call you" or "We shold do this again sometime", but it's another if he goes into specifics or calls you shortly thereafter.
Something goes on in some people's heads, however and they'll say stuff they have no intentions of doing JUST to be polite. It's stupid, yes, but there's no getting away from it. Be the type of person that doesn't do the same thing.
Try NOT saying leading things at the end of a date. Leave it at, "That was fun, thanks!"
Also, don't let it bother you when it happens. It's their issue, not yours. Don't retort with "Oh it doesn't bother me, I just wanted to know" because needing to ask implies bother and honestly, unless you're quite dumb... you already know why they do it. All the possible reasons have been listed as nauseum. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:28:47 AM | Well i would have to answer this with the following:
A.) He is grounded for staying out past curfew the last time
b.) His girlfriend isn't out of town this week
c.) He has to wash his hair
d.) he just wasn't interested after the first date
I would have to chalk it up to being a-c. I mean come on! Like i wouldn't be interesting enough to take out again? AS IF! | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/22/2006 10:44:41 AM | Hi Girl,
Those guys who disappear didn't probably believe they gonna get what they want from you, basing their conclusions on that great first date of yours :-) I think most guys do that, they just check out the girl, and decide after the the night is done, they may even look absolutely great to you, but then they look for something totally different.
Don't be bothered by that, i think it's cool experience to meet even jerks, to just communicate and find common ground, i also had that with some girls, we spoke and everything was damn perfect but after awhile things weren't the way they seemed.
Cheers | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/23/2006 7:46:24 PM | | See what usually happens, for me anyway, is if I have a really great time I ask for a second date, if the girl is not talkative or doesn't seem to be interested I kinda get the hint she doesn't have any interest in a second date, they say they would like to stay friends and they usually end up not talking to me any more without any reason. Wait I thought this was a topic on guys who did that? Guess it goes both ways. I just move on, no use in wasting time trying to figure out why these things happen, they just do. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/28/2006 7:00:41 AM | Sometimes you just need to meet for a few times and find out if you have that chemistry or not.
It seems that when we were younger, we ran into the people more often and had time to connect on many levels and in many ways. Now, we do not see others that we date or want to date as often, and we are on sites like this, so the connection time is not the same.
This is not just a man thing either, it goes both ways. I think if you want to see someone after meeting, then you tell them that no matter what your gender is. Meeting for coffee or a drink is just that.....meeting.....then you try another meeting with more to it and eventually you are on a date. Gives you more time, and it can be directed by both parties, not just the man.
Just my opinion...... | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/28/2006 8:39:34 AM | Yes, it goes both ways. It is rude and cowardly to make promises you have no intention of keeping. There's nothing wrong with just leaving it at a non-committal "I had fun. It was nice to meet you." (even if it wasn't) There's no reason to habitually add "I'll call you" when you have no intention of doing so. But I do assume if I don't hear from him by the next day with an additional desire to see me again that that will be that. He just loses points by making promises he doesn't intend to keep.
I don't really want to hear why he doesn't care to see me again and I don't care to explain why I don't want to see him again either. It's not psychoanalysis, it's just a first meeting. Get out of it by being pleasantly non-committal. I just get a little hurried by the guys who want to paw me upon a first meeting. I've got a dozen well honed ways of doging that one.
otoh, if I really liked him, there's nothing wrong with dropping a little email saying I really enjoyed our meeting and hope to see him again. Still non-committal and open ended. If I don't hear back, then that's my answer and no foul. | |
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*Tee*
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Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 119 | |
| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/28/2006 8:57:30 AM | I think a lot of people put way too much emphasis on that first date. Look at it this way....you are meeting a stranger for the first time. You might have had some interesting conversations, and maybe considered this person a friend. So why can't you go into this first date as having a drink or a coffee or dinner, with a "friend"? If you go into every first date thinking "this could be the one", you're bound to be dissapointed.
Its not easy, I agree, to have a date that you think went well, only to be dissapointed that the other person didn't feel the same, but we really need to go into it with no expectations, and just have fun. If it works thats great, if it doesn't, there are plenty of fish in the sea.. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/28/2006 10:17:25 AM | Hello people it is called communication give him what you expect in return did you bother to ask him if he is perhaps interested in another date?.In this day and age be strait forward did you feel and sparks from him you know physically it is possable to tell if i man is interested in you or if he does the yawn i have to work first thing in the morning we should call it a night approach ..let him go .dont beat yourself up over one person cause when you do who knows you may end up gun shy and pass up the right one outta fear of rejection it was a date ecept it for what it was and move on .Beside we all know there are no pun intended Plenty Of Fish In The Sea... | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/28/2006 5:38:11 PM | When I'm on a first date or meeting, I try to be very aware of the nonverbals I get from her, as well as those I'm sending. Nonverbals say a LOT, people, everything from the way we laugh, to the enthusiasm with which we address each other, to spatial considerations, etc etc. Communication has been shown in any number of studies to be over 90% nonverbal! And, since it's near impossible to control your nonverbal behavior, it's almost a foolproof source of data.
Given that, here is how I generally approach the end of a first date given these scenarios:
A) I feel we both had an awesome time and our enthusiasm for each other is reciprocal:
"I had such a great time with you tonight, Ethyl. Would you like to do it again soon?"
B) I really like her and had a great time, but for some reason cannot figure out how she's feeling:
"I really thought things went great tonight, Ethyl. How do you think things went?"
C) I didn't have a great time, don't feel a connection, but my date really did, and does:
"So, Ethyl, how do you think things went tonight?" When she says it went great, I respond that although I had a really good time (let her save face), I don't feel the kind of connection I need to continue dating right now."
D) I had a great time, but it was obvious to me she did not, or I am getting clear signals of no connection (not a likely scenario as I like to think I'm not this dense of a person):
"Well, Ethyl, I had a great time, but I'm thinking you didn't feel the same connection....correct?" Gives her an easy out.
E) The Nightmare contingency: The date sucked equally for both of us:
"Well, Ethyl, I guess this is fuk off..."
(just kiddin' on that last one.....I'd probably say "piss off" instead....) | |
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*Tee*
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Joined: 9/4/2005
Msg: 122 | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/28/2006 6:42:55 PM | they wont ask for a second date if you bombard him with interview questions like about his job and ex wife etc....
In fact, they won't if all you do is talk about yourself either.
Tell him some funny stories and dont even talk about relationships. that stuff is kind of dull unless you know how to really discuss it ina fun way. | |
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ddp75
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Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 124 | |
| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 2/28/2006 7:45:59 PM | I got to agree with ^^^^
the Job Interview approache on a 1st date with the pre-scripted seires of questions for a gril to ask a guy is one of the worst ways to get to know the "real" person
the Job Interview way puts the girl on a pedestal and forces the guy even more into the role of the persuer having to prove more then what he needs to prove.
Having an interesting conversation that will get both boy and girl conversing will eventually answer questions inderectly without even asking questions.
I remembered a girl on another matchmaking website had her profile set up like a QUIZ. Blaaaarrg sick, ... JUST BE YOURSELF | |
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ddp75
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Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 125 | |
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