| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 6/28/2007 3:10:46 PM | | msg. #24 from sweet summer rose. excellent answer. That person could have had a message from someone else and so he was checking it out. Its just a date and on the other hand one should always let the other know if there is or would be a second date. If you're not interested...a short note would be in order. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 6/28/2007 5:25:37 PM | | Oh one other thing to all of you who said 'Well what's wrong with a woman calling the guy?' The majority of the time when I make contact after a first date if a man is kind enough to tell me they're not interested, they say it's because I was too aggressive and that I should wait for a man to call me. Oh and the great one was this guy I started chatting with a few months ago. We were planning on meeting but couldn't find a day we were both available before he went on a 2 week vacation with his buddies. Halfway through his vacation I sent him a little note, something like 'Hope you're having fun in Mexico. Have a shot of tequila for me on the beach and give me a call when you get back so we can plan that date!' Showed interest, he told me I was being too forward. I'm not one of those women who will keep you guessing, I'm not afraid to call and let you know how I feel, but most men don't seem to like that. I'm not about to change who I am to suit some man, just pointing out the fact that although men say they want a woman to call them, when a woman does, they don't like it. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 6/30/2007 12:15:27 PM | | OP: Maybe since he believes in equality and all that jazz, and asked *you* out on the first date, it's nothing more complicated than that he's waiting for you to ask *him* out on the second date to see if you're into equality also. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 6/30/2007 11:23:48 PM | "What I don't understand is why they don't even want to remain friends. It's like if you're not dating material to them, that's it, they're gone."
Because guys want more than friendship with women. I only have one good male friend. All the others are out for more than that and if they can't have it, then it's nothing at all.
It sure would be great to have some guy friends.
:) Cali | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 6/30/2007 11:37:40 PM | "if you don't put out on the first or maybe second date he's not going to ask you for another one. we are in a counyrt where we want ever thing quick and fast to see if we like it including- sex. so quit trying to be so angel-like or morally correct and you probably won't have that problem."
and people wonder how men get labeled as pigs, dogs, etc. Please. and truly no one means ALL men because no one has met ALL men. Maybe ALL men in her experience.
OP, i wonder if one day you'll meet someone and fall in love, and she will treat you, one of her many men, as you probably treat women you date. Yeah, she'll be going out with all kinds of men, and having sex with them on the first and second dates. I'm sure you won't like that so much. Of course, if you are incapable of love and respect, it won't bother you at all. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/11/2007 9:20:03 PM | Might have nothing to do with the second date...
It is the way of a great many (especially the British) to not be straight and be covert in their communication about EVERYTHING... (not just dating).javascript:smilie(' ') | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/18/2007 11:51:42 AM | Yeah. Nothing like being sloppy seconds, or thirds. I met someone awhile ago who I found attractive, but just wanted to be "friends." Meanwhile, he dates one of my friends, who ditches him after the first date, and then starts sleeping with another.
Can you say chopped liver? Like, if we were the last 2 people left on EARTH then I might consider you.
Needless to say, I don't entertain the "friends" bit. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/18/2007 1:51:53 PM | Really hard to answer a post that is a year and a half old and the OP doesn't even exist on here anymore.
Have women ever considered they left the man feeling like she didn't want a second date without realizing it?
If a man tries to give you a kiss and you turn away, there will be no second date. You've expressed your disinterest by turning away. The "I'll call you" was just a polite parting statement, one I wouldn't say, I'll tell you I had a great time if I did and I'm glad we got to hang out together. If I didn't I'll just say nice to have met you, goodnight.
Neither of which means I'll call you again, if I want a second date I'll ask if I can call you tomorrow. Most women reply with "Sure I'd like that" and often dont answer when called. Ocassionally I go on second and third dates...
Just because someone doesn't want another date doesn't mean the didn't like you or there's something wrong with you its just not always does someone feel chemistry beyond friends so they dont go out with you again. We all have to deal with it even when we do feel a connection and they don't. Its why so many people are single... we haven't met that "MUTUAL" connection with someone. | |
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EC22
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Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 162 | |
| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/18/2007 3:23:21 PM | | I know the OP is gone, but if she liked the man she should have called him. If she had called/emailed him and he never returned the call/email, then IMO that's rude. I would always respond even if I'm no longer interested. I would be upfront and politely turn her down. Since she never contacted him, then she shouldn't complain about him not contacting her. There are many reasons why a man ( or woman ) wouldn't be interested in another date ranging from the man being too picky and having unrealistic expectations to the woman being completely rude or unattractive. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 7/18/2007 8:51:00 PM |
Some guys need to turn a date over in their minds for a year or so, don't shoot yourself in the foot )
I actually had a guy who waited TWO years after a first date to contact me again. Call me crazy, but I'd LONG since moved on by then. I think if were were expected to wait around on a bunch of infinite "maybes" based on the life table, we would lose our natural minds. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:27:05 AM | | hi judy [ im a aries girl 2 ] just read ur message meet as i thought i really nice guy about 5 months ago gave him msn chatted 4 hrs over the few nights then meet up just the day had a lovely day out we didnt get up 2 enythink lol he went home again chatted every night msn 2 weks later he came down on a sat 4 the night had a brill time got on like a house on fire seen him the was a spark ther if u know wot i mean. enyway we txt nearly evey day he got on brill with my daughter he tept teling how much he liked me he was a one woman guy he wonted 2 build on somhink special seen him about 7 times evey time wev had a ball really got on then on sunday the 21st chatted till 230 in the morning i went 2 bed told him how much i liked him witch is wot he wonted 2 here iv not heard from him since iv txt him left messages on his msn nowt it took me a whil 2 trust him i started 2 trust him then u bugged off IM HOPEING 2 FIND A REALY GENUINE GUY IF U KNOW ENY PAS THE ALONG LOL YVONNE X | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 8:31:26 AM | If I'm not interested, or if I think she isn't, based on her behavior on the date, I won't be coming back for seconds. That's the only way I'm not looking to go another round.
And men are no more likely to be juggling multiple prospective mates, before they're in a relationship, than women are. In my experience, less likely. Though that is a reflection on me, rather than men in general. Good or bad. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 8:57:55 AM | Good morning Judy,
Honestly, I wouldn't let it discourage you that much.
What may be a "great" first date for you - may not be for the other person, and that being no fault of your own. All I can suggest to you is that you keep your head up and keep smiling. What you are looking for will eventually come your way!
There are many reasons that people act the way they do - and most of them we cannot justify! Every person has their own reasons. I am a man, but have grown up my whole life around women and out of the friends I have, 80% of them are female. I've seen this happen countless times to "wonderful" women and have seen how much they beat themselves over it. It may be that these people in which you are dating are not interested in the long commitment, or are looking for a particular quality or comparing you to other women of their past... This would be no fault of your own!
I don't stereo-type the whole male race, afterall, I am one. It just might be the type of individuals that you are choosing for your dating experiences. Dating isn't the easiest thing in the world to do... Everyone has an expectation of what they want and what they are looking for. This applies to both men and women...
Just be yourself !!! Be as genuine as you can and people should be attracted to that quality about you!
If not, then they where never worth the time nor consideration, or the reason behind your stress.
There is a multitude of people out there and I believe it deep down that you WILL eventually find that lucky person that cares enough to get to know how wonderful you really are.
I wish you all the best and keep smiling Judy!!
Jason | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:05:51 AM | I think the reason could have been because he really wasn't into you and you thought he was enjoying himself when in actuality he could have just been making the best of the situation. Just a thought there are many possible answers to this question.
also I would just like to add that there are differences in the way men and women are attracted to eachother and this can cause misunderstandings from both sides. Mens attraction is usually dominated by looks, where women are more attracted to social status, body language and sort of unseen characteristics. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:15:00 AM | I was with you parteovahere, until you said:
where women are more attracted to social status
three hits with a wet noodle for you....................and I'm sorry that you've seem to run into women that make you say that.........................tsk, tsk, tsk on them. | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 2:26:09 PM | ok here goes
Well he was probally expecting some nookie and didnt get any so off fishing for easier fish.
He didnt have a good time and didn't say so and just played along.
After he got home he thought it over didnt have a connection and just moved on.
What ever the case may be move on I see women asking about this all the time. Life is to short to try and second guess every guy that has done this.
P.s.
For the women that have sex on the first date and this happens once the chase is over a lot of dogs lose intrest. And yes men are mostly dogs | |
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n2art
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Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 173 | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 3:23:05 PM | | Of course it's possible to have a great date with someone and not feel enough chemistry to want to see them again. It happens all the time where you like someone, but it's not that take your breath away, weak in the knees kind of attraction that a lot of people want to experience. It makes sense then to try other new connections than to continue to date someone you're just not feeling that for. It's better not to put too much stock into your first date, just enjoy it and then be pleasantly surprised if there is a request for a second. I wouldn't take it personally, just be available for someone who is going to be as crazy about you as you are about him. One thing I would suggest to guys is not to give a woman false hope that you intend to call her again if you think there's a chance you aren't going to. Just say you had a great time and leave it like that, don't create an expectation that you aren't going to live up to. We women really hate waiting for that call that never comes. . . | |
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| What keeps a guy from asking for a second date?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:18:14 PM | Of course it's possible to have a great date with someone and not feel enough chemistry to want to see them again. It happens all the time where you like someone, but it's not that take your breath away, weak in the knees kind of attraction that a lot of people want to experience.
In this case, I would go on 1-2 more dates with a woman before making any type of a decision. I wouldn't lose interest in a woman simply because there wasn't earth shattering and / or instant chemistry on a first date. For me, it's not always yes or no on the first date. If the first date went reasonably well, then there is a chance that chemistry could develop in future dates when both people know each other better. | |
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