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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 10:18:02 AM | I would always prefer to receive a "sorry you're not my type/ I'm no longer available" than to be left wondering if she ever intends to reply. My usual rule of thumb is I message the girl once, and entreat her to reply. If she doesn't, I take it as she's not interested and move on. 
However for the occasionally amazing profile that I stumble across  , I'll sometimes message a second time (if they didn't delete the first message), and surprisingly I've received a reply saying "sorry I hadn't seen or lost your first e-mail amongst the heap of messages I receive daily". Occasionally this has actually led to some conversation, but it is frustrating that sometimes your messages are simply lost amongst the pile of cat-calls, come-ons, and other rare genuine messages men seem to send out. 
Oh and for those that receive rejections, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you, you just may not be there type... Different strokes for different folks and all that jazz... However if you're being rejected by every single woman you attempt to contact, then you may need third party intervention to assess what you're saying...  | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 10:19:03 AM | my take is please reply even if its PFO; Yes i think unread/deleted is rude.
I do think that usiing the block feature is acceptible if someone is foul or you think they migt not take rejection well.
I might feel differently if I were one of the women with "a very hot picture" that is getting 100s of messages a day. On the other hand I might go for a good text profile and drop the picture that is causng the flood if I was seriously trying to make a good connection.
i do not think the guys here ever get lots of email; i only have about 25 in my inbox and most are from the one woman i have really clicked with | |
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umm1
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Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 35 | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 11:12:09 AM | I was very interested in this thread because I get alot of responses and some of them bored on idiotic. Like one I got today "Hey baby, how about a date?" That's not very prolific and then there are many that obviously did not read what I wrote in my profile or they would know that they are NOT what am I am looking for. The ones that cannot write more than "Hi" in the response get no response from me. Maybe that is rude but I think that no response=Not Interested should get through to them. Everyone please read our profiles and if you match what we are looking for than please write if not please don't. Simple.
I will continue to not respond to idiots but I do respond to someone who puts thought into a response to me even if they are not one to knock my socks off. | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 11:14:32 AM |
what if you emailed a gal and she wrote back that she didn't like people who lived in Colorado;would you move?
I'm trying to make a point here...if everyone starts doing that, pretty soon the only ones that will dare use internet dating sites will be perfect people. Since THOSE don't actually exist, it would spell the demise of internet dating. See there what you've done now?
Danceswithwolves1 has broken the Internet! LOL
Bwwwaaaaahaaahaaaahaaaahahahahahahaahghghghg!!!! Ever since me and Al invented the internet, I been wanting to break it - at least ONCE!
For ME, living in Colorado would be an unusually benign reason to get rejected. No, I probably wouldn’t move because I probably couldn’t find an equivalent job in another state, and moving my side business would be a huge task. But as far as daring to use the internet, isn’t any venue in the dating world a lot like singing on “American Idol”, and every person of the opposite sex that you approach is Simon? OK, maybe not THAT bad. But thick skin helps.
I usually try to get rejected in ways that provide some shock value ... like, “Look Dude, I’m not writing to you anymore because you have a baby rattlesnake living in your hair! I REFUSE to hang around someone who is so calloused that he won’t provide better living quarters for his pets!”
Now that’s a rejection with some meat on it! That’s one I can DO something about. In this case it’s a simple matter of making a nice little cardboard snake pen to staple onto my head – problem solved, love of a fine woman won!
Actually, to hear some guys talk, you’d think they WERE perfect people. That’s why when they get rejected, they ALWAYS start a forum thread with the following title: “I’m THE nicest guy in the whole wide world, and it’s the vilest, most evil thing a hate-filled woman could do, that she would reject ME, of all people!! Women are ALL the embodiment of SATAN himself!” I think that’s word-for-word, isn’t it? | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 11:22:10 AM |
Danceswithwolves1;
Please tell me that your line of work is NOT valet parking.
Well, ok, I am a Valet Parking Attendant, but I parked that car on the fence on purpose! I had recently lost my marbles, and I thought if I could make then all roll toward the front, they would be easier to find. Unfortunately it didn’t work, because once I found all my marbles, I realized I had a screw loose.
Actually I was working on the Katrina recovery efforts, and that was the Ninth Ward of New Orleans, where the flooding was the worst. It floated there. | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 11:33:13 AM | My take...
I would much prefer some kind of note, and here is why - Unread/Deleted - Did I say something wrong? Or am I simply not her type... I mean some feed back would be great... If you folks have followed any of my posts, you know that I am normally polite and well spoken, and while I know I am no Brad Pitt... but I usually don't scare dogs or small children either.. but read deleted or unread deleted is most unfriendly... it implies that you simply are unworthy of notice...
So... say something, even if it is, hey, I am flattered, but you are too old, too short, too tall, or I really don't think I would fit what you are looking for... or something...
Later...
Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons....
~~~Dragon Rider~~~ | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 11:44:30 AM | So... say something, even if it is, hey, I am flattered, but you are too old, too short, too tall, or I really don't think I would fit what you are looking for... or something...
Dragon the problem is that sometimes when people do write back why the rejected person can't handle it and launches into a flurry of angry e-mails or rant threads like we typically see cropping up here on POF 
If you get rejected, that's part of life - suck it up and move on people, it's not like you'll ever meet the person anyway  | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 11:50:52 AM | Yah, I know... some people are childish, but there is a simple solution for idiots... you can block someone from ever contacting you again... if you are polite in your response and get an angry tirade back... just block... no biggie...
I just find it a little rude... and insulting... a polite thanks is not amiss...
Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons....
~~~Dragon Rider~~~ | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 1:04:57 PM | had recently lost my marbles, and I thought if I could make then all roll toward the front, they would be easier to find. Unfortunately it didn’t work, because once I found all my marbles, I realized I had a screw loose.
But you did in fact find all your marbles? How does THAT work? I can't find a one of mine!
Seriously I kinda thought that looked like something done by a hurricane, a tornado or a really under-talented NASCAR driver.
I'm proud to report that once;"back in the day" I drove a '67 Buick LeSabre down a trail in the woods created by,and for, dirt bikes. That MAY have been what happened to my marbles, I was scared to go back and look...
Now that we are thoroughly off topic...yeah, a polite acknowledgement/thanks but no thanks is probably OK...provided it's not used as a tool to vent-
Personally I respond to most emails, if the guy hasn't been driven off by my smartaleck attitude in about 3 emails, he might warrant further consideration.
Cindy O | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 1:14:20 PM | If they don't reply, I assume no interest and move on to the next one.
The only tough part is that it's easy to get message fatigue. It's like why bother spending the time to craft a message to someone when they probably will not even write back.
But the nature of the thing is you've just gotta keep on trying (if at first you don't succeed). | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 1:29:17 PM | What drives me nuts is when I email a guy, he emails back, I respond and then poof, nothing.
I've asked if a guy has wanted to grab a beer on the second email and that's when it usually goes awry. Why repond with what appears to be interest (sometimes that's a stretch cause it was a one line sentence)? I don't want to spend my life emailing...I'm here to MEET someone! | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 5:56:45 PM | | It is so much nicer to tell the person something! I have had non - replies and it left me wondering about every thing I said and did (or did not do) I want to learn how others see me and grow from it. I have left many messages , polite ones at that , asking what went wrong and they could put it in a email and never hear from me again. Maybe that is to simple. So, I cry, and get over it. I never really say how thay have made me feel. BAD!!! I just need to get thicker skin. | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 6:02:58 PM | I have personally made it a point of courtesy to send a "thanks for meeting with me, I don't think we are well matched" after a first date when it was appropriate. I don't get into reasons (it's not for me to tell someone to change when someone else may like them as they are). I also have wished the guy good luck in his future dates and expressed my hope that the right person for him will come along soon.
I can't recall getting a courtesy email like that from a guy though. They just don't contact you again for the most part. | |
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| a Poll: After an initial contact, would you rather get a rejection email or none at all?
Posted: 2/17/2006 6:45:51 PM | erection, Prob not good to have one when you first meet,
unless your pants are rather loose. but, depends on the girl :)
I would say no rejection email unless you state a reason(one that can
be fixed easily) Most rejections are prob due to the pic,
more than the words, thats how you can get unread/deleted...
and just cuz it says read, doesnt mean they actually read it. | |
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