| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/10/2006 9:20:07 AM | WoW and I thought I was the only one, single not married and No kids.
Here is my thought on this. I think to many people are out for Financial gain instead of the real reason for being in a relationship ( Love, Honor, Respect). This is why you see so many Divorced. I for one am in my 30's and single, maybe because I grew up in such a BIG family I wanted time for myself, or can it be that I was trained so well by my parents not to have to depend on a woman to wash my clothes or cook my meals.
I have no kids, mainly because I don't sleep around and if I have kids they will be with my wife, I want quality not quantity! Don't get me wrong sex is Great but if you don't want kids remember No Love without the Glove!!!
Its often asked where are the Good guys, well here's one !!! | |
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Drizit
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Joined: 9/12/2004
Msg: 327 | |
| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/10/2006 2:58:39 PM | | Noticed that ppl in there 30s not married have one of two lifestyles to busy with career or else they are ppl that prefer to be single... | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/10/2006 3:15:55 PM | I'm 32 and I've never been married and I have never lived with a guy.
I am amazed at the amount of people my age who are divorced or separated.
I dated my last boyfriend for over 3 years. We broke up and remained friends. A couple of years later we were talking and decided if we were to get back together, it should lead to marriage. We talked about EVERYTHING to see if we agreed on a lot of important issues that would arise when we were married. Well, we disagreed on a lot of things. Important things to me anyway. Suffice it to say, we didn't get back together, but we are still friends and hang out sometimes. I think if we did get married and ignored these issues, we would have not been happy. I'm glad we talked it out, and I'm glad we used our heads.
But now I've been single for three years. Yes, I've been busy with my career. I must admit I haven't been going anywhere to meet men. But now I wonder where I could go anyway? So, here I am on this site.
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/11/2006 6:05:36 PM | 35 and never married. just never found the right one, or anybody close to the right one, I guess. I'm shy so I've always had trouble meeting people--plus, my friend are all losers because even when they say they know the Perfect Guy they never get around to setting me up. ... and now all my loser friends are married and don't KNOW any single guys. 
a good friend is just now getting divorced after 10 years of marriage. and every guy I've been out with recently has been divorced at least once. I don't know why that seems to be so common... | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/13/2006 6:43:12 AM | | I am 36, and still single with no children. After my last practically-married relationship (6+ years) I promised myself I wouldn't settle. I have learned to be content alone, but I am still keeping both eyes open... I also have more time to consider children, which makes the single life easier to handle. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/14/2006 9:07:17 AM |
I also have more time to consider children, which makes the single life easier to handle
Thank you for acknowledging that. Most guys don't really think about that from a woman's point of view. I should specify, women who want children; if she doesn't, then it's not as big a deal. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/14/2006 11:30:23 AM | | I used to feel like I was failure too! Until everyone's marriage around me started to fall apart and end in divorce. At least we can say we didn't find the right person!.......Yet! | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/14/2006 11:40:43 AM | Thank you for acknowledging that. Most guys don't really think about that from a woman's point of view. I should specify, women who want children; if she doesn't, then it's not as big a deal.
My pleasure. Thank you for your feedback. [Smiles] I should also note that I do not want to be the equivalent of a grandfather to my own child(ren), so in essence, my clock is ticking too. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/14/2006 12:20:42 PM | hi im darren other wise nown in the trade as single so ladies beware lol. well great subject. im 35 althow ive had relationships and was once engaged,ive never been married... and for the record it doesnt have to be the guy that asks anymore? well thats my view hope im right lol.
So if any of you need a good man in your life il give you my mates no. just glad to help make you smile take care all darren aka bikerdas in hemel hempstead xxx | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/14/2006 2:45:32 PM | Daisy I dont think there is anything wrong with a man or woman being thirty and not married. Are you smart.....maybe, maybe not.......have you made the right decision.....maybe, maybe not.......... I think the important questions is what have you done instead? Do you have a solid professional career.........are you financially secure...........have you chosen to travel or do other things than be married? I dont think you should be looking for others to justify your place. The main point is are you happy with what you have done and where you are now.
I think anyone would be out of place only if you are trying to make yourself fit in groups of people who are not where you are.
You can always change your activities and meet new people - I'm doing it after being married for a long time. So I think what you need to do is to see what you want and go for it. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/14/2006 7:31:30 PM | 36yrs old, no kids, never been married. I have spent most of my adult life trying to advance my career, in school, so that I wouldn't have to marry the first guy that asked.
I could have married any loser by now and had his idiot kids. I want more...I want my partner in crime...
nuff said... | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/15/2006 4:04:46 PM | 35 and never been married. Met some wonderful people, but none who are ready to start consider thinking being serious. Sometimes it is just the luck of the draw. Happily single, and would jump at the opportunity to meet someone who really wants to meet someone like me. It is amazing one can be successful and scare just as many women as those who aren't successful and have numerous problems from financial to flirting with too many people. I'd love to find a love of my life besides myself and my job and my hobbies.
But if I don't, it isn't the end of the world either. I think many of us who try online dating feel a bit out of place, only since the so-called "regular" methods seem to yield very little success. We know the online world like the back of our hand, and when we try to be social, we are out of our element. Here's to hoping one day to find a guide so I don't feel so out of my element trying to be social. | |
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aminx
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Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 338 | |
| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/15/2006 4:23:04 PM | This subject caught my eye because when I see a man is in his forties that has never been married or had children, alarm bells go off with me. I guess because I wonder if there is "baggage" from his past that prevents him from being in a long term committed relationship. I can understand a person in their thirties "preparing" to have a relationship or kids by focussing their energy on obtaining their education, a career, financial stability etc. Interesting topic! Thanks for the food for thought...  | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/15/2006 5:55:52 PM | | Never been married, close a few times but never made it past the 7 yr mark with a few. Glad I didn't jump into anything stupid, definately would be divorced a few times by now.. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/15/2006 8:12:41 PM | I'm like some of you too. A nice guy and thirty now. Still single and not married.
Have some good friends (including ladies) but not that one woman yet.
I keep my eye out, but I'm not rushing into relationships. I'm not one to give into pressures of society demanding I follow the status quo.
It's hard to find the right person. So, I'm giving online places like this a try.
Most ladies I find here and other sites want children and to get married in places like a church. I'm the exact opposite. I want 0 children and I like being common law. I might consider marriage if it is in a really special place that doesn't involve religion or churches.
So, if I can find a lady who wants those same things as I do, then I'd be willing to give it a try. Chances of finding that lady are very rare for me indeed.
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/15/2006 9:08:46 PM | This subject caught my eye because when I see a man is in his forties that has never been married or had children, alarm bells go off with me. I guess because I wonder if there is "baggage" from his past that prevents him from being in a long term committed relationship. I can understand a person in their thirties "preparing" to have a relationship or kids by focussing their energy on obtaining their education, a career, financial stability etc. Interesting topic! Thanks for the food for thought...
I don't think there should be any alarm bells. In fact it is just these reasons someone in their 40s may be still stuck with not being married. They enjoy their career too much to consider being married. Some people just have more patience than others to embrace a different future. Some are building their future and just are late bloomers. The age where career jobs were more commonplace has dwindled, and it takes longer now to wind your way up the ladder to a place where you can feel you are in a happy career job. People like myself didn't find my career job until I was 28. And then a comfortable permanent place to live until I was 32. I could have started when I was 22, but didn't know where I was going then. All that time I could have been learning how to be social I was stuck in a club that offered little in the way of real social skills, and more just computer consulting skills. It is now I'm learning what it really takes to schmooz. Throw all preconceived assumptions out the window. We are out there. We are exactly the good people you are looking for. Because we won't just jump in bed with anyone. We know it takes time to make a good relationship develop, and will take the time to make it develop. We are the people who are available. It isn't baggage. It is we've developed the lack of baggage that can make us accessible. I may not be in my 40s, but I don't see anyone in sight grabbing me being 35 either. Now that we are available, what are you waiting for?  | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/16/2006 1:10:37 AM | | Yes that is me not married as of yet an I am over 30. I find that there are a lot of people that pass judgment when they find out that I am single and or not married. Like there is something wrong with me or something. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/16/2006 10:12:33 AM |
I should also note that I do not want to be the equivalent of a grandfather to my own child(ren), so in essence, my clock is ticking too.
Ha! Brilliant. And true. 
I used to (sort of) see (mild) red flags with guys in or over their 40s who had never been married, but all of a sudden *I* am 35 and thinking, Guys probably see red flags with me, too. Particularly because I'm 35 with no kids. I hate to generalize, but it seems to be fairly common that guys think all women have biological clocks. (OK, I do; but I know plenty who don't, and who can't seem to convince the men that it's true!)
Anyway, I am trying to remove the label "baggage" from people because honestly, if you've reached this age and DON'T have some baggage*, what have you been doing all this time?
[*I don't mean serious baggage either, like having been abused or raped.] | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/16/2006 11:27:29 AM |
Guys probably see red flags with me, too. Particularly because I'm 35 with no kids.
I do not normally do this sort of thing in open forums, but...
[Whispers]
I find your dialog curious. It is unfortunate we live on opposite ends of the country. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/16/2006 7:29:42 PM | | I"m being driven even further away from even considering dating a man who has been divorced because a good friend of mine just recently got divorced because her husband HIT her. When they married HE was already divorced. The never married at 30 or 40 is a keeper in my eyes especially if he's been focused on his career. A man who has been widowed and had a successful marriage is likely to have another successful marriage. This turn of events with my friend has really reinforced my strong preference, nay, requirement that a guy is either never married or widowed. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/16/2006 8:10:01 PM | | At least you have offspring. I ain't got shit. Not married, no girlfriend....yet. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/18/2006 4:02:37 PM | | [whispers] Heh, Dasarius. No problem. I'm mostly just thinkin' out loud. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/19/2006 7:12:44 AM | Almost 40, never been married or had kids, never will. Imagine how out of place i'll feel at 60 with my stats. LOL
But, I'll have more money saved than most my age that have been thru divorce and custody battles. I'd rather be single never married no kids than divorced. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:30:35 AM | When I was thirty, I was never married. I had been engaged a few years prior but I had left him because I had discovered his cheating six months before the wedding. I'm so glad I got out of that!
Today I do have a loving & caring boyfriend & No kids.
As a couple, we both share this choice in our decision in having no children.
Don't worry about being single (and having no children) in your thirties. Have Fun & Enjoy!   | |
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| thirty eight and not married
Posted: 12/19/2006 10:58:56 AM | I am thirty eight years old and never have been married. I have been in serious relationships, dated and had the one night stands. I am a late bloomer. I have always been that way. I am now in college obtaining my undergrad degree. I have a full time job and friends. I am content in my life but from time to time I miss having someone. I don't want to go out with anyone for the sake of going out. I am seeking a friend first and see what happens. Someone who can appreciate a woman who has no drama, no children and is getting her life together. I will not rely on any man financially and I beleive that it takes two to raise a child.
People wonder why I am not married and I used to do the same I have seen my guy friends go back to the same woman who treats them like dirt and do not see a good woman in front of them until it is way to late. Women do the same also. I do not have that drama and I do not treat any man with disrespect. I have seen men walk away from me because they get too scared of being close to someone. I know I am not perfect and I know that guy that I will meet one day, wil not be either. Until then, I enjoy each day and when that day comes, I know it will be worth the wait. So to all the single people, don't give up hope. It can happen and for the women, don't settle for less that you deserve just because you are lonely. It is better to be alone than be miserable. This is just a thought and an opinon. To everyone, Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. | |
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