| | Thirty and not marriedPage 22 of 25 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25) | I was engaged once at 18. I am SO glad it was not meant to be. I am 32 now and just starting to get back into really dating. I have had time to become who I am and get an education that many haven't.
I am happy with my life and with my past even if my love life is not what some consider full. Be happy with yourself and your choices and you will do well. I sometimes wonder if those who didn't wait a bit somehow are not in the relationship they started because they were still becoming the person they are now. Maybe their partner was the same.
I was also blessed with people around me that understood my choices and never pressured me. I was never treated less because my clock was ticking or I wasn't getting any younger. I rarely heard this and when I did it was from someone who didn't know me.
Don't feel out of place. So they are not looking for what you are. You know what you want and are looking for it. I think it is great that you are doing this. Remember the saying about kissing alot of frogs to find a prince. Well, you will read many profiles before you find a keeper but there is someone out there for everyone. So take heart. You will find that someone. We all will.  | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:43:53 AM | | Well, I'm 42. Never married, no kids and no past relationships to speak of. I spend all of my time trying to find someone, with no success. I often wonder if this equates to to no baggage, since I don't have any exes or kids to worry about. Or, am I coming with a freight train of baggage, since I have no relationship experience and will be assumed that I have the emotional maturity of your average 10th grader? | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 5/19/2009 11:21:11 PM | Oh Don't you all just love this topic? I just turned 31 today and never been married. I love how everyone around me (family, friends, co-workers) are concerned about this BUT NOT me. Their comments just give me a good chuckle. I am not saying I will never marry but I just don't understand how "being rushed" in the form of constant remarks (out of love and concern) will help you. When the time is right, you will know.
Your situation is a bit different but you only need "ONE". It might be a bit challenging to find him but NEVER impossible. Enjoy the ride. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 5/19/2009 11:26:27 PM | | Hahhahahaha. I hear ya about the "when is she settling part?" The sad thing is that I am such a big nerd and not the party type AT ALL yet many people think I am single because I can't give up the party life. Oh well! Suit yourselves. lol | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 5/20/2009 8:03:41 AM | I have never been married. So far I have yet to find that special lady who has the ability to tolerate me. But I do know folks who have been married several times and they don't seem as happy as I am. Funny how they are always wanting me to get married..  | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 5/21/2009 4:28:14 PM | Hey Daisy,
I am 36 and have never been married. I would not say that it is a bad thing. From what I have been able to notice. Most people don't even know who they are little lone be able to figure out what to do with a partner until they are well into lets say their late twenties to start with. Maybe that is why our devorce rate in America is over 50% now. The more I think about it. Thirties and fourties are the best time to get married. That allows for both parties to mature enough with in them selves to be ready to grow with a partner and keeps the relationship fresh enough for when they are financialy ready to enjoy life together. Don't worry about your age as much as who you are and where you want to go in life. After that, find the guy that fits along with your dreams and vision. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:22:37 PM | Hello, single fellow 30somethings!
I am 34, never married and no children. I hope to, one day, find someone...but I don't hold my breath.
Comming to terms with this is not too hard to swallow, but it gets easier as the days go by...NOT!
It realy sucks!!! WTF!?!
It is so hard to find someone who fits THEIR profile. It's so disappointing. I dont have time to waste on games. But it seems thats how things are done with "suiters" online and off. WHERE ARE THE GOOD GUYS HIDING?!?
~jamma | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:05:04 AM | I'm 32, never married...no children.
Spent 8-9 years working on my career. 6 years before that going to school. Graduated at the top of my class and then went back for a masters and graduated with an even higher GPA.
I also believe that strong, independent women are still a threat to SOME men.
I'm 32 have a great steady job, own my own house and car etc......
It's scary for SOME guys to look at a woman and see all her success and then try and measure up! | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/28/2010 6:54:14 AM | | think ur sooo beautiful wow would love 2 take u out show u off come talk some time im steve roebuck .... | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/28/2010 11:44:53 PM | Dave418,
A first date for me would just be a casual dinner / move scenario, followed by a bullet in my brain.
I'm sorry to everyone that I am not good enough for anyone to be interested in me.
Can't someone save me, or at least put me out of my misery? Life sucks, and I with I was dead.
am I coming with a freight train of baggage, since I have no relationship experience and will be assumed that I have the emotional maturity of your average 10th grader
Yeah, you have emotional baggage. Baggage can come in two forms:
(a) Having kids or an ex who's the other biological parent of the kids in the picture -- ie other people physically in the picture that isn't necessarily BAD, but just gets in the way of things
(b) Emotional baggage -- doesn't require (a), but just emotionally affected
Sounds like you have a lot of (b). I think the mentality/attitude is a snowball effect... when you're in a rut, that can make your 'luck' worse, thus increasing the rut, thus making it even more worse... hence, a snowball rolling down a hill.
Think about it this way... there are a TON of ugly people out there who can land dates and have others find them attractive. Look at the logical side of things to help ya out, which I'm sure you're more than capable of doing. If said ugly people can do that, albeit not with great looking people, you can at least do that. Okay... maybe not good enough... BUT you can do better than they. It's your approach, attitude, and how you carry yourself which will at least hand you options out there. Grab a book or two on changing yourself & POV -- it can help far more than you think. Then, your concerns will be different -- more like "why is it hard to meet a lady at this age who's my unique type for a LTR in mind? Why are they just nice looking ladies that are fun but not quite my type enough for the long-run?"
You at least won't be wallowing in rejection -- just battling the idea "Should I roll into an LTR with a gal who I get along with, is cute, but isn't the best of matches?" | |
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| | Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 538 | |
| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/29/2010 7:33:43 AM | I'm 36 and never have been married.I probably never will get married either.All that says is that I did not make the mistake of getting married and later getting divorced because I made a stupid mistake in getting married in the first place.
Being divorced is not a badge of honor to wear.It's not like it's something you succeeded in. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/29/2010 9:40:45 AM | I was engaged at 28 to miss wrong.. but i snapped out of it. Twas a very valuable lesson that i'm glad i learned. I'm not a "marriage" type of person & i don't want kids...
i don't want to be a parakeet in a cage.
10 years later i'm technically "still never married" and looking forward to officially be considered 'damaged goods' at 40 so i never have to go through that hell again.
The point of no return has never looked so gorgeous.
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/29/2010 10:32:42 AM | I think it doesnt matter at all.. if youve been married or not..everybody makes misstakes, and supposetly learn and evolve..
what was important to someone 6 years ago doesnt have to be the same today...
what would worry me is having been married more than once.. or better divorced..lol | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/17/2011 1:13:45 PM | | 38 and feeling great....never married and no kids. probably will never happen but anything's possible i guess. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/17/2011 2:07:34 PM | | 34 not married. i want to be coupled with someone eventually, but the marriage part I can take or leave, it'll be negotiable. Certainly none of that ceremony stuff. Id rather just sign a piece of paper, take it to the notary, done. But i was told you have to do the whole i do stuff, even at the city hall. Is that true? | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/17/2011 7:23:07 PM | | hey there; i am 33 yrs old and i have never been married,if i ever find the right guy i would love for that to happen. most of the good ones are taken :) | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/18/2011 10:57:20 AM | I'm 30, never been married or have kids.
Surely having a lack of baggage is an advantage right?
Or either am I standing in the visually impaired department ? | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/18/2011 1:18:26 PM | 35, never even thought of marriage, no kids. I think marriage seems like an obligation to most people. I just view it as an option. I think a lot of people marry for reasons other than love and that defeats the purpose. I personally don't think a couple should get married unless they can truly admit they have unconditional love for each other. That means if a guy's hot trophy wife gets hit by a bus and ends up paralyzed and disfigured beyond repair his love keeps him there. This means if a woman's billionaire husband suffers a catastrophic misfortune and loses it all she sticks by him and does her part to help recover.
I just don't see that kind of love out there these days. Its a lot of divorce, alimony, and whatever else comes with a failed marriage. I see a lot of cheating in a variety of forms. Separate vacations seem to be popular these days. I don't see a lot of happiness that isn't in the form of forced smiles for company. It's very discouraging and each day I am less inclined to consider marriage.
The thing that bugs me the most is getting pressured from my family. I've literally had to tell my mother to simply get used to seeing me by myself and to try to accept the fact that I am not going to be happy unless I find the right person. I assure my family that I will always try, but they just don't get the fact that I have standards that have to be met just for me to be able to love someone which is the very foundation of marriage. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/18/2011 7:37:19 PM | 35, never married nor have I ever been engaged. No kid(s) or even a close-call. No baggage what so ever. Just a normal, single guy who prefers a quiet lifestyle.
I have gotten bewildering looks and many questions from women when they discover I've never been married and have no kids. Most divorced women with kids will not date me because of the fact. It's as if divorce is a "badge of honor" of some sort. Well it's a badge I have no intention of ever wearing. To be honest, at this point in my life, I'm not interested in getting married. In fact, I doubt I'll ever get married. This is where a lot of my dates turn-tail and run away, young and old alike. | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/19/2011 8:50:19 AM |
It's as if divorce is a "badge of honor" of some sort. Well it's a badge I have no intention of ever wearing.
I think some see it as a "I don't have commitment problems" badge... which isn't required. The main thing is, is that you (nor I) are part of the 'norm'... it then brings up commitment questions as a result -- or "there must be something wrong".
I think the real red flag is those who hunt-hunt-hunt for an LTR and can never find one... and those who laugh at the notion of an LTR. They use has-been-married as a litmus test by mid 30s and definitely 40 to see if a guy isn't afraid of commitment or has serious issues or something.
Of course, two things are forgotten:
a) There are modern day people who aren't going to get married for the sake of getting married
b) Just because you are currently in an LTR or married does not make you a person better person to get along with or better person for relationships. Plenty of folks are unhappy or semi-content and just stick it out because they see being "single" = "unemployed". | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/19/2011 9:17:28 AM | Funny that you would make this thread bec I was actually going to make one introducing myself, since the intro post is not around anymore, and ask the same question since I am a 30y/o, 31 soon, and still never married with no children.
One guy said he thinks it has a lot to do with how people now are trying hard to finish schooling among other things while we "forget" about, or shrug off, if you will, the idea of marriage or having kids. True as it is I still feel that the way people treat others these days has a lot to do with it. Just think of all of the people out there who are abused or neglected on a daily basis and you'll see what I mean.
I also feel out of place not having been married after 30 since all of my friends from childhood/early adulthood have already been married and had children.
Introduction: hi all! :) I'm Dolphin/Dustin. Like your threads and am always an open book! I'll post honestly and without judgement. The second someone tries to "flare" me or start a "flame war" i'm out and we'll have the thread deleted. Nice guy w/ a lot of insight to the single life :p Have a great day, all! | |
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| Thirty and not married
Posted: 9/19/2011 12:13:20 PM | | 30, married, divorced, and on my way to a second marriage in the next year or so. Personally I don't think 30 is old at all and seems the perfect age to me. I've still got my looks (people think I'm 25), more money and property than I could hope for, and the world is mine :). When I was say 22-28 picking up girls wasn't so easy, now I'm 30 things have changed and it's girls around 20s who are interested. The girl I've picked is great and the kind of girl I always dreamed of having when I was younger! | |
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