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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 12:24:41 PM | Hey, don't feel bad. I say that I'm of average looks, and rarely get any responses. When I make it sexual and shallow, I get more responses from women. Shallowness isn't reserved for men...
To turn the tables a bit, when a woman's ad states that she's thin or athetic in build, I typically pass her by.... why? Most of the skinny ones are shallow and prefer handsome, rich men, the athletic ones only want athletic guys and are addicted to themselves. Yeah, I just steriotyped, but heck, don't we all have some amount of wanting someone to fit a visual appearance standard that we have established for ourselves?
When has any woman who had any depth of heart ever said, "I'll take any nice guy that comes along."?
Most of the women I've talked to and met think I'm the greatest guy on earth... until they meet me. I've had women fall in love with me who have never met me. I've even had someone say, to my face, "you're the kind of guy I'd like to marry.... but just not you."
"Don't show someone what they want to see, find someone who wants what you're showing."
(You can quote me on that, I just made it up...) | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 12:45:23 PM | I don't think anyone one here alluded to being perfect,the point is this-what ever you look like,take care of yourself,and love yourself! I too have "a few extra pounds",and don't obsess or depress over it,I'm working on it and am satisifed with that.And wieght and body type is only one aspect of a person.There are those that are noticed for thier looks and those who are not.I'm no supermodel but my personality kicks ass and I know it,so I get to hide my lack of confidence in my chubby ass with my confidence that I am a good person.That way everything is balanced out.You sound a little angry,maybe you have some issues to work through before you decide to start dating.I'm not saying that in a rude way either;I'm not dating now because I have lots of stuff keeping me busy.One needs to honestly admit whether they are ready start a new relationship,to avoid hurting someone else in the future. | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 12:47:21 PM | Ok so I wandered into this thread by mistake.....started reading and got to the bottom....interesting that the comment about it all being your own state of mind and that what other people think comes from a person with the screenname choice of terminallycute
Your right there though....it shouldn't matter any more than the gunk in the bottom of the coffee cup what other people think, and if you arent content with who you are, or where you are in life, then its very likely that anything you do with another person in a close relational way is going to get tainted by that lack of fullness in you.
terminallycute......should there be a cure for that, really?
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 12:48:13 PM | OK.....here's my opinion. You said..."you changed your body type from avg to few extra pounds" in your profile.Right now it says avg so you must have changed it back? Anyway...i dont think the problem lies within body type anyway. Did you change your profile as well? You say you can not post a pic because of your job. yet you state that your pics don't do you justice? That sounds like you are not putting a pic on because it won't look like you. Men won't like it. Just comes across the wrong way. Then you say "someone to accept ME for who i am" How would YOU take that comment? Makes it sound like somethings wrong with you. I liked the "don't expect me to come to your house first" Would it make a difference if he came to yours first? That's even worse...If you don't like him or he's a nut case... ...HE KNOWS WHERE YOU LIVE! Besides that, makes you come across as bossy. Then there was the"Fun to be around "MOST OF THE TIME" That speaks for itself! Then you go and pick the TIME of the date...YOU HATE LUNCH TIME DATES...JUST A QUIRK OF YOURS....OK.....Then you go back to the"DON'T ASK ME TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE FIRST, IT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION" I think the perspective DATE who read your profile got the message the first time! Then you top it off with how YOU HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR!! I didn't see one! So i would have to say i think it's the wording in your profile that needs some help..not your body type...because after reading it if i were a man id keep looking.....come to think of it...if i were a lesbian i wouldn't date you either. I hope this helps.... | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:09:17 PM |
Ok so I wandered into this thread by mistake.....started reading and got to the bottom....interesting that the comment about it all being your own state of mind and that what other people think comes from a person with the screenname choice of terminallycute
I dont understand why my screen name has to do with any of this. People who bother to read my profile will see that the choice for my name is all explained there.
How you feel about yourself is a state of mind and attitude, I am sorry and sad for you that you dont agree.
You should never worry about what others think of you, just be happy with who you are, and if you arent happy, then you should change things. but not to try to impress anyone else. | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:34:43 PM | Shallow huh? When it comes to looks I believe the "shallow" moniker only applies to something we have no control over and weight is not one of them. If I said I didn't care care for you because you had a big nose that might be shallow etc.
You women crack me up. Eat too much of the wrong things, get fat and a prospective mate is supposed to see beyond that to the beautiful you inside... what a crock!
I'm 6ft tall and weigh what I did in highschool (160). This is my ideal weight and in proportion to my height. I am this size because I choose to be careful about what passes by my lips rathan than wolfing down all the processed fast food and sugared up crap. I hope to find someone with the same type eating habits as me and if you're FAT it ain't you! And that make me shallow? | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 1:42:29 PM | cutting loose,
everyone has thier preferences, I myself dont consider it being shallow if you have one preference over another.
It doesnt mean that someone who is a BBW or a few extra pounds cant and shouldnt feel good about themselves
This is why there are those options in our profile we can choose about our body type.
What i dont agree on..is when people feel they have to lie about thier body types. Then think everything will be ok when they finally meet someone face to face. Those kind of suprises just arent cool when you first meet someone. | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 2:01:23 PM | | Cutting Loose,good for you! Thats pretty impressive to have kept in such good shape,especially at your age.I do have to say tho,that I am sick of guys thinking that if you are overwieght,it means you eat 24/7...that's an overgeneralization.There are skinny people out there who don't eat healthy at all,they just got lucky with thier metabolism.If anything,I mess up my metabolism because I don't eat often enough! My doctor actually told me that,don't laugh! | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 2:04:05 PM | Umm.....Terminally cute, I DID actually agree with you, it was a little humorous to me the coincedence of your screenname and the comment....no offense meant.
Once again I agree with both posts, sometimes it takes a while for the light to even shine on the notion that there may be something "inside ME" that might be off a bit...all that has to be open to personal examination and introspection, if not corrected, where things are "off" or a relationship will be hampered by them.... but personal weight or body type has nothing to do with any of that in the first place. | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 2:17:14 PM | hey Sweet, it isn't dishonest to say you're average. Like I stated on the other thread: According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, the average U.S. woman is 5' 3.7" (162 centimeters) tall and weighs 152 pounds (69 kilograms). This corresponds to a Body Mass Index of 26.3 kilograms/meters², which is slightly less than the average man's. The above measurements would fit in the image of an "overweight" woman in the mind of most men.
I've been thinking about the mindset of men and I've come to this conclusion. When they think of 'average' perhaps they mean a thin girl with an average (plain) looking face? Because their definition of 'average' in physicality doesn't come close to the criteria set by the Department of Health and Human Services.
I say keep the 'average' description of yourself and be proud of it, because you are not being dishonest. It is they who have misinterpreted the meaning and we have the study findings to back it up that our definition of 'average' is closer to what it actually is according to the DHHS.
And like I said in yet another thread. Lose for yourself, lose to get healthy and feel good. For God's sake don't let other people's preferences dictate your life! Nuff said... | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 2:28:40 PM | thai paradise
Sorry hun, thats bad advice, if shes a few extra pounds she should say that, most women are average build thin is thin average is average like i said theyre excepetions to everyrule, i play hockey with a female who is 5ft 9 175 lbs , and shes considered athletically build.
Back to the point, its not the OP refering to her weight is the problem, i believe its more of her message in her profile that could be the problem, although weight is a issue to some she has to realize its not a issue to some. | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 2:32:55 PM | | Terminal, I certainly understand about preferences, can't tell you how many times I've chatted with women who have hedged around the weight subject and then went off to meet them. Imagine my disappointment finding someone who was bigger than me. I really got tired of all the time & effort needed to try to find someone I liked who ended up being less than truthful, why bother? Now, I just list it in my profile or just ask so there should be no confusion (I still get hit on by women who list themselves as average or larger). If I hurt your feelings I apologize. If that's not good enough, tough shit! Why not just post your exact height weight and remove all the guessing? Average in America has absolutely NOTHING in common with average in the rest of the world. These are the same women who are offended and call me shallow when I say I'm not interested in anyone who is overweight. At least I'm honest, know what I like and who I'll be satisified with. I have plenty of friends and acquaintances who are big, fat or obese but I have no romantic thoughts of them. I'm not lQQking for a beauty queen, just someone who cares enough to take care of themselves by watching what they eat. There are plenty of other men out there who would be happy with you the way you are if you fit a bigger segment, go for them. If you think I'm shallow then my experience tells me you're most likely overweight anyway. | |
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~ V
| | Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 43 | |
| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 2:33:23 PM | I read the OP's profile, and right from her headline, she mentioned her appearance 7 times.
What do you mean 99% of the people polled said your pictures don't do you justice. No one but you probably knows these people so we're gonna have to go by what you say?!?
You put waaaaay to much emphasis on your looks. Who cares if you wear the right amount of make up. I don't think guys think of that all that often when trying to get to know someone for the first time.
I suggest, instead of trying to pretty yourself up in a pictureless profile, describe you...sans all the justification as to why you cannot post your pic, or saying that you're 5'9 in heels...
and BTW, so what if you can't post your pic due to you being a 'professional', if someone notices you, could you not say to them 'what are you doing there then' kinda pointless if you ask me
lol if a married man can post his pic, surely a 'professional' could too.
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 2:41:49 PM | I also read your profile and it sounded like you're hung up on the weight issue way too much. If you don't want to advertise your body type, then just choose 'prefer not to say'
And I'll reiterate for those who didn't get it the first time. According to the DHHS, the average woman in the US is 5'3 and weights 152 lbs. To most men out there especially the one with specific preference, that measurement is considered 'overweight', but that doesn't take away the fact that the above measurement is that of the average woman. | |
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~ V
| | Joined: 4/11/2005
Msg: 45 | |
| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 2:54:38 PM | and to add to Thai,
Women carry there weight differently from each other. I've seen some really top heavy women, with lil tiny waists, but they would read around 160 on the scale at 5'5. I work with a woman who is 5'11 and I swear she is 110 but she got on a scale and sure enough she's 126
I put average b/c I am not thin, never was. Not athletic...although I work out 3 times a week but that is to maintain. Not 'few extra pounds'. And not BBW.
Sure I can say I have curves in the right spots, I know I do, and I can tell by the size I wear and how my clothes fit me, but I will not go on and on about that. To dwell on it, makes men think you are actually something you're not.
So what ever floats your boat, keep changing your 'body size' as much as you want. You're gonna get judged either way, it's a fact. But just be honest with yourself. | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:34:43 PM | way to cut loose 'cutting loose'. can't get more honest than that.
Okay Thai, your reiterations caught my attention. All those DHHS stats tell me is that the average american woman is fat. Obesity is taking over smoking as the greatest health risk in the U.S. - there's a big difference between someone who is of average weight and what is the actual average mean weight of a population. to be of proportionate height and weight is more important.
Let's not mince words. If the sight of another person (be it female or male) naked doesnt get the little fella aroused or the juices flowing what is the point? Either lose weight or find a chubby lover.
every pot has a lid - find yours without all the whining. It's just personal preference. Everyone knows what gets them excited. | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:39:59 PM | | Id like to go WAYYYY back up top to paysons comment... and just say that a woman with a few extra pounds does not automatically say that she doesnt take care of herself.. get real... women of ALL sizes go out of their way to look pretty... hair , nails..makeup.. nice clothes...do all women automatically say.. oh gee.. his pecker isnt real big.. he must not be a good lover... ? | |
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| What happened? All of a sudden no emails because of a few extra pounds
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:40:44 PM | thisis2weird,
you took the words right out of my mouth pal, i just read a report saying that American people (i suspect that includes Canada) has the highest obesity children in the world, are these the same statiticians that say who is average???
Personally i dont give a rats a$$ about who is average or extra pounds as long as shes confidant and not whinny,insecure,man hated or a inbred hillbilly. | |
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