| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 11/28/2008 6:17:42 AM | I've been a slut in my time so I'd be a hypocrite if I judged or condemned a woman for being as sexually promiscuous as myself in the past.
As long as she doesn't cheat on me, I couldn't care less. The past no longer physically exists.
Who in their right mind enquires as to how many people the person has slept with anyway??? We're not in highschool anymore.
Really who does that, I need to understand the psychology. "Hey... so how many guys have you been with???" what a ridiculous question.
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 11/28/2008 6:33:32 AM | | It's still a double standard people. Like I've always heard, the guy has to have experience, "sow his wild oats" and society thinks that's ok, but if the girl has multiple partners, at the same time or separately then she's a slut. Sorry, that don't fly. If a guy has had 200 (and btw, that's probably not unrealistic) then why should it matter how many the woman has had. | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 11/28/2008 7:02:26 AM |
Like I've always heard, the guy has to have experience, "sow his wild oats" and society thinks that's ok, but if the girl has multiple partners, at the same time or separately then she's a slut. Sorry, that don't fly. If a guy has had 200 (and btw, that's probably not unrealistic) then why should it matter how many the woman has had.
That's fine if you compare people with the same or similar numbers...
The trouble lies when one person has a significant difference in past partners than the other person.
I have one buddy who is about 50, I'd bet he's had only 3 to 5 partners all his life. The prospect of a woman with 20-25 past partners might be a big issue to him.
I have a friend who has just recently separated from her childhood sweetheart after 20 years of marriage. She's never been with anyone else. Just the one guy. Now, the prospect of dating a guy with a lot of past partners just terrifies her. | |
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 7:07:20 AM | | I have to say, I agree with everything molonel has said in his posts. God, men you can be such hypocrites when it comes to your women. Are YOU saints? | |
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 7:18:30 AM | God, men you can be such hypocrites when it comes to your women
So what? Telling men they are hypocrites solves what problem?
I've ridden in a lot of Taxi's. It doesn't mean I want one for myself.
I've ****ed a lot of women. It doesn't mean I want to settle down with someone that's been ****ed a lot.
You meet a guy who has ****ed a lot of women, or a guy that hasn't. Either way, they usually have their head screwed on straight. Meet a woman who has ****ed a lot of guys and you're immediately dealing with baggage. She has self-esteem issues. She has bedroom issues. Just problems. Sure there are a few that don't but I'm talking for the most part.
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 7:22:54 AM | Well Mchurch ok, if you compare with like numbers. But it still shouldn't matter. U know what I haven't read on here yet is some women in their earlier years may have been sexually abused and/or molested. Did you realize this makes a lot of women promiscuous...most when they realize what is making them have meaningless sex try to stop it. Does that make them whores? No. It makes them human.
Even if they didn't have a problem like that, so what? Hell I've made mistakes in my life, who hasn't. For me, sex has to mean something, I have to feel something for them, even if friendship. Most men I've known, they don't care as long as it's a piece of a*s.....so who's the whore? I know how many men I've slept with, can the majority of men say that? I'm probably off subject, this double standard is a sore point with me as my dad always had one in one way or the other....boys will be boys but girls better be virginal. I can't tell you how many younger men have hit on me because they say older women know what they want and go after it and we don't play head games....I've never succumbed to that but if I did am I a slut? I'm 50, what is the appropriate number? And I'm not talking to you personally, but I suppose to all the posts men have made. | |
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 7:27:35 AM | I've ****ed a lot of women. It doesn't mean I want to settle down with someone that's been ****ed a lot.
See I don't agree with that but that's only my opinion. Opinions are like ***holes, everyone has one agreed? So you've been with a lot of women, but your woman can't be with a lot of men w/out baggage. What bullsh#it. I'm not a man, I don't know what goes on in their head, but you're not a woman, you don't know out mind. Do you ever wonder why you've slept with so many women? No....but you care why women has slept with multiple partners. Why? | |
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 7:34:06 AM | | Saying a man is a hypocrite solves what problem? It doesn't...but it's the blasted truth. How can you say a man's head is screwed on straight if he's been with a lot of women but the woman has self esteem issues. Jeez, what a crock. I'm not battling you personally, it's just you're so off base in MY opinion. As I said, everyone has their own opinion. That's what it is...what WE think. You are allowed to think anything you please as am I. But men are blasting women on this post like "they the men" are saints....all I'm saying is they are far from it if they'll admit the truth. Men and women say they want honesty. But when it comes to bed partners do men really want the truth? Apparently not from what I'm reading. Some are ok with it as long as they are the last and I have to agree with that....and others run cause they don't want to be seen with what they are calling the town "slut". | |
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 7:47:04 AM | Have you ever heard of an old saying ''pu**y is not spendable'' ....well it is the truth - believe it or not.
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 8:07:53 AM |
U know what I haven't read on here yet is some women in their earlier years may have been sexually abused and/or molested. Did you realize this makes a lot of women promiscuous...most when they realize what is making them have meaningless sex try to stop it. Does that make them whores? No. It makes them human.
Yes, I know all that. I am in a relationship with someone in that very boat. I'm dealing with it, and so is she. | |
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 8:19:12 AM | How can you say a man's head is screwed on straight if he's been with a lot of women but the woman has self esteem issues.
I think he's right though. A guy doesn't usually invest the same emotionally into a sexual relationship that a woman does. Especially when younger. That's why so many guys are happy with a FB or NSA sex.
But men are blasting women on this post like "they the men" are saints....all I'm saying is they are far from it if they'll admit the truth. Men and women say they want honesty. But when it comes to bed partners do men really want the truth? Apparently not from what I'm reading.
Men are not saying they are saints. Anywhere. They admit to being the way they are, but they just don't want it in the woman they are with. Some guys are ok with a partner with a past because they're not staying around anyway. When I was younger, I didn't plan on settling down. I could care less where the woman was, who she did or what she did as long as she was clean. Now, I'm older and some of those things do matter to a certain extent.
Some are ok with it as long as they are the last and I have to agree with that....and others run cause they don't want to be seen with what they are calling the town "slut".
Well, I've been there, got the T-shirt too. I've had guys make comments to me and to my G/F about her past. We've had some of her ex lovers (both male and female) make comments to us about her past. I've had one of her past lovers try to attack me physically. I've met a few of them over the last couple of years. I found out after we started dating that she had slept with two of my friends before we met. It does make things awkward at times. | |
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 8:26:06 AM |
Most men I've known, they don't care as long as it's a piece of a*s.....so who's the whore?
You see, men ARE the whores. That's why we don't want a woman who has lowered herself to our level. You think we really want a woman we don't look up to? We want someone who is better than us. Men are funny creatures, we're territorial, and we like to show off. This is part of the reason we look for certain things in a partner. We want to be proud of who we're with and for the most part, we are. | |
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 9:11:48 AM |
You see, men ARE the whores. That's why we don't want a woman who has lowered herself to our level. You think we really want a woman we don't look up to? We want someone who is better than us. Men are funny creatures, we're territorial, and we like to show off. This is part of the reason we look for certain things in a partner. We want to be proud of who we're with and for the most part, we are.
Talk about generalizations. All this can be said of women too. You think a female wants a guy whose****has soaked in a ton of females? No. All the guys I know who have slept around have serious issues. Bad self esteem, past abuse, etc. All the fingers you're pointing at woman can be pointed right back at men. | |
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 9:16:31 AM | | Regardless of how many partners a man has had, if you REALLY want to know how many partners a man has had, ask him how many partners is too many for a woman he'd date. A woman with the same number of partners or greater will be a turn off. | |
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| How many sexual partners... 208
Posted: 11/28/2008 12:31:17 PM | | At 51 years old the last count, not that I count, was at 200+ sexual partners. Would that be a man-whore, or just a guy who has one partner every 3 months? | |
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/28/2008 2:33:13 PM |
Regardless of how many partners a man has had, if you REALLY want to know how many partners a man has had, ask him how many partners is too many for a woman he'd date. A woman with the same number of partners or greater will be a turn off.
That might be true for you mate, but not me. I wouldn't want a woman who had even 1/10th the partners I've had. | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 11/29/2008 9:31:27 AM | i think it only becomes an issue if you let it be. numbers don't matter. if both you and your partner are STD-free and fully committed to each other, then the past shouldn't matter. this type of issue arises out of insecurity really...fear of not being able to satisfy someone with a varied sexual past or more experience, a sense of sexual territorialism or misplaced jealousy, or moral/social/religious judgmentalism. all equally stupid reasons to dismiss someone if you click and connect on all other levels. IMO...get over yourself and your hangups...you might miss out on "the one" by focusing on an unchangeable and ultimately irrelevant past.
i have to roll my eyes at how "standards" are judged very differently depending on gender...
That might be true for you mate, but not me. I wouldn't want a woman who had even 1/10th the partners I've had.
gotta love the hypocrisy of a statement like that ^^^. *sigh* | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 11/29/2008 9:56:37 AM |
fear of not being able to satisfy someone with a varied sexual past or more experience
It can be a fear. But it can be real too. If my boyfriend knew he wasn't as good as some of the other guys I've slept with, he'd be devastated. Like he's good but he's not great. I hope I'm as good as some of his past girlfriends. He has had a lot less sex partners than I have so he has less to compare me to.
Chimera_Obscura | |
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| How many sexual partners...
Posted: 11/29/2008 9:58:36 AM |
That might be true for you mate, but not me. I wouldn't want a woman who had even 1/10th the partners I've had.
But why not?
Would she be so different if she had less partners?
She will still be the same person physically. It's not like a woman wears out. Or has a best before date.
Chimera_Obscura | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 11/29/2008 1:01:56 PM | If it's any consolation, I think by and large, the double standard is pretty minimal, and blown way out of proportion when it comes to guys-can-be-whores/women can't. I think it mainly exists in small country towns and in high school to first years in college. Women do have a reason to gripe about an existing double standard in those pockets... but otherwise, I think it's pretty non-existent.
If a 25 year old woman were to ask a 25 year old guy how many women has he slept with, do you really think she'll say "Okay, that's alright, you're a guy", if he says 100? Of course not. So that begs the question -- where's the double standard? Male-whoring isn't deemed okay with women, who cover just over half the population. Additionally, male-whoring is not deemed "cool" by even guys, notably after college.
I think there's confusion about the whole topic. People are confusing the alleged acceptability of male-whoring to the acceptability of a man to "get laid", and for it being okay for guys to be horndogs, but not for women.
1. A guy getting laid is seen as a good thing among other guys, if he "needs to get laid". This is not as prevalent with women, but in today's modern age it is becoming more acceptable with women. Women need to understand that they are NOT looked as sluts by men when their gal pal "needs to get laid" and does follow through on it... because a slut is never in the phase of her life where she "needs to get laid", because a slut by definition is always getting laid anyway. Must understand the difference! It's fellow ladies who may be fueling this supposed double standard, not most guys.
2. Guys can be 24-7 horndogs, and that's "acceptable", while women are not allowed to be horny when single, otherwise she'll be deemed as slutty. I don't think this gripe-statement is 100% accurate, but there is room for gripe, don't get me wrong. A guy who's a 24-7 horndog is going to have less luck with women than a guy who doesn't appear to be. It's not "accepted" for guys any more than the fact that it's expected, and that's about it. Since guys are the approachers/initiators, you would expect a guy to show his "frisky side" moreso, while that woman holds the potential veto power. Bottom line: It's not really accepted, due to the fact that it can be a huge turnoff for women. They don't accept it, and they're the acceptors. The drunken horndog at the bar humping every woman's leg is going to have just as bad a reputation as the horny lady with a skirt only down to her belly button with a shirt that says "do me" (but the girl will get action; the guy will not so much). But, to be fair, the girl has less margin of error when it comes to be a horndog than a guy does, because most women are discreet about it, so it sticks out very easily if they are as open about it as guys can be... hence, guys who can't get that girl are going to be jealous/pissed and call her a slut. The other girls who see her get lots of attention and being superficial are going to be jealous/pissed and call her a slut. | |
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