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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/7/2006 5:15:49 PM | | Well, I ask how many partners someone has had....not because it matters so much but because i want to know how same i am. condoms dont protect against ALL STD's, and very few men will get a test these days (at least around here). | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/7/2006 5:34:22 PM | If a number is the first thing you want to know before trying to have sex with me, you're cut, immediately. If its the first thing you want to know after, well you aren't getting any repeat performances.
My roster card is my business thank you, and while it is subject to speculation by some, only my best friends know the number. I like my infamy thanks. | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/7/2006 6:03:26 PM | | I'm not sure that I like the idea that someone I have been with has had a whole lot of partners but does it really matter. I've had more than I would like to admit but I don't think that is a factor in how you look at a person. I would like to think that every man, or woman for that matter, that I have slept with would be the last one but the reality is that we live in a world where there are at least a dozen posts on girls putting out on the first date, and how many dates in can you expect sex, its just reality that people have a lot more sex than we would liek before we meet them. I don't think that the number really matters. As long as they were smart about it and havn't let themselves become ruined to the intimacy of it all then whats the big deal if its 1 or 100? | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/7/2006 6:08:54 PM | 14 for woman?? What for men then, I think that double standard is crap. If 14 makes a woman a hoe to you, then 14 should make a man a hoe.
I think it depends on the age. If someone is 25 and slept with 14 people vs. someone who is 35 and been with 14 people...that extra 10years makes a big differance IMO. | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/7/2006 6:17:23 PM | I try not to judge by numbers...
I am more interested in if they've ever had a sexually transmitted disease, how old they were when the lost their virginity and how recently they last had sex with someone else and when they were last tested. | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/7/2006 10:05:13 PM | It's funny how you can gauge the number of partners a person has had by his/her response to this thread....
it's no one's business = i have been pumped and dumped A LOT
15 or more = a few a year plus a one night stand or two
7-14 = I'm pretty darn ugly, but thats what beer is for right?
0-7 = the opposite sex frightens me. | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/7/2006 10:10:40 PM | Who in the hell cares!! I dont even ask !! Your attracted to each other and you can enjoy each others company so be it. Safe sex and good sex makes people happy and confident in ones self. The more sex you have the more expierience you can bring to the table.
Imagination is more important then knowledge. Einstein
Well in this case.....................Ill take both !! Keep it clean and bring on the bang bang!!
Evilnix | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/7/2006 10:22:40 PM | Well I saw a thing on TV once, the more women/men a person have slept with the more likely they will cheat. Not sure if there is any truth to it but from my life experience so far I would say it's true. But then again I have had a girl or 2 that slept with heaps of men and I went out with them but they were better for it, they felt dirty before but when they got with me it made them more devoted to me I suppose.
Personally I would not date a girl who has had a different guy each weekend, its disgusts me to be honest. | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/7/2006 11:46:34 PM | As long as she was std clean, numbers didn't matter to me when I was a whore. I might ask if she'd been with more then a few guys but that was it. I'd wait for her to say anything more.
What I found curious from a great number of ladies is after we were hitting the sack and having a relationship, questions of like,"how many were there? what did you do? what did they like? how many times in a day did you do it?" It was like they wanted to be better then my last or preceeding ladies. Any ladies want to respond? | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/7/2006 11:46:42 PM | | My soul mate is not someone who has been around the block so many times she can no longer count how many she has been with, a slut is not my type of girl friend, however some girls go through a period of sleeping around a little then smarten up, I did that. But if a girl has been doing it for years then she is not my type. | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/8/2006 12:03:28 AM | Whatever...I don't want to know that this person was a everyones piece of a$$ everyother weekend. I don't go sleep around with every gurly I pick up at the bar..she has to be worth my time/effort and that rarely comes after a first encounter.
I also don't want to be with a girl that all of my friends had a piece of. Makes things a little ackward when talking in the locker room. She basically isn't my soulmate if she was everyone else's **** friend.
You can't however put a number figure into it, like previously mentioned....it's a respect issue and if she didn't respect herself enough, then she doesn't have my respect. | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/8/2006 6:53:46 AM | | I don't ask, and I don't tell. It doesn't matter. Whoever suggested that the number of sexual partners someone has had makes it more likely that they will cheat is full of sh*t. And in my experience, since people who are less experienced seem less concerned about safe sex, the whole STD scare is ALWAYS an issue whether it's 2, 10, 20 or 40 past partners. No glove, no love. And I'm not going to feel "safer" around someone with a lower body count. Unless we both get tested for the whole battery, and we're both committed to monogamy, that condom ain't comin' off. Period. | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:34:40 AM | Are they clean do they know what they are doing?
cool
do they have a past?
yeah
who am i to judge...
that is the way I look at it now, everyone has a past I do not need to know exact numbers actually do not want to know exact numbers...nothing good can come of that... | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/8/2006 11:09:28 AM | so knowing your woman has been done in cars, bathrooms, basements, motels, etc by guys that never even dated her [many you can even put a face to] dosent bother you? that dudes can see you w/ her and prob think 'been ther done that' [casually only] wouldnt make you flinch? i know my woman has been done by many guys i knew from the past, most just sex only or one nighters...how do i not feel like they kinda have something on me? they did my girl before. she wanted them to. they have been naked w/ her, inside her, etc. they know for a fact she was easy. they obviously wanted nothing more from her. how does this not bother somebody? i would feel kind of "sorry" for a dude i saw w/ a girl myself and many others had been w/ casually. i would wonder if he knew. wonder if he thought he had something special or somebody that was hard to get...
i feel like the woman i love was only a quick bang to so many other guys, then i 'feel' like i do not have anything of value or specialness. how can i? if so, then sex really does mean nothing.
i never hear guys saying, 'gee, i heard she has been w/ a lot of guys and can be real easy, i'd love to date her and settle down someday....' do you?
i never ever heard a guy who has had casual sex w/ a woman say 'yes, we made fun love', it's usually said in a 'did her' type mannor.
guys, honestly, what crosses your mind when you see a woman you have been w/ casually [and know many others have as well] w/ her new boyfriend or husband? be honest please.
so guys, honestly, you would have no prob w/ a woman that used to be very easy and has had casual sex w/ 60-100 dudes, several who you can 'put a face on/to'? am i nuts? | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/8/2006 11:48:16 AM | so knowing your woman has been done in cars, bathrooms, basements, motels, etc by guys that never even dated her [many you can even put a face to] dosent bother you? that dudes can see you w/ her and prob think 'been ther done that' [casually only] wouldnt make you flinch? i know my woman has been done by many guys i knew from the past, most just sex only or one nighters...how do i not feel like they kinda have something on me? they did my girl before. she wanted them to. they have been naked w/ her, inside her, etc. they know for a fact she was easy. they obviously wanted nothing more from her. how does this not bother somebody? i would feel kind of "sorry" for a dude i saw w/ a girl myself and many others had been w/ casually. i would wonder if he knew. wonder if he thought he had something special or somebody that was hard to get... - geewhataguy
It's kinda hard for me to say much, since I've had sex in most of those places, and sometimes with women I didn't know very well, and never saw again. So no, it doesn't bother me. Especially since there are going to be women who see me with her, and said in their minds, oh yeah I tagged his hot little @ss.
If she's loyal to me, that's all that matters. If she's clean, that's all that matters. The past is the past. When I enter into a committed relationship, I don't ask how many partners she's had. Ever. I don't want to know. I get tested, and I'll show her the results. I get tested every year, anyway, and I think any responsible, sexually active adult should do the same thing.
What makes my woman special is the relationship we have, together. The warm body count prior to my meeting her is irrelevant. I've been treated like trash by women who could count their sexual partners on one hand. I know this, because despite the fact that I don't ask, or tell, some people insist on telling you, anyway. I don't know why.
I've been treated like a king by women who were both very experienced, sexually, and very loyal partners, and very good friends.
Your attitude is pretty immature, overall.
i feel like the woman i love was only a quick bang to so many other guys, then i 'feel' like i do not have anything of value or specialness. how can i? if so, then sex really does mean nothing. i never hear guys saying, 'gee, i heard she has been w/ a lot of guys and can be real easy, i'd love to date her and settle down someday....' do you? - geewhataguy
Who cares what other guys say? Unless she's a virgin, somebody is going to be able to say that, anyway.
I have no problem dating or settling down with someone who is sexually experienced.
After all, I am sexually experienced, myself.
i never ever heard a guy who has had casual sex w/ a woman say 'yes, we made fun love', it's usually said in a 'did her' type mannor. - geewhataguy
Have you ever "done" somebody, before? Does that make you a dirty slut unworthy of anybody's affection?
guys, honestly, what crosses your mind when you see a woman you have been w/ casually [and know many others have as well] w/ her new boyfriend or husband? be honest please. so guys, honestly, you would have no prob w/ a woman that used to be very easy and has had casual sex w/ 60-100 dudes, several who you can 'put a face on/to'? am i nuts? - geewhataguy
Okay, I'll be honest.
You're not crazy. Just a little immature. I've faced guys who've been with my woman, before. I couldn't care less. If he were all that, and a bag of chips, she'd still be with him, wouldn't she? I'm man enough, and confident enough, that nobody can phase me by making snide remarks about her past. | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/8/2006 12:03:02 PM | | The only reason I'd care about how many partners a woman has had is because of what it may say about her personally, her self-respect, her insecurities, and her priorities (i.e., I'd prefer a woman who views sex as an important component of a relationship- not the only one!). | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/8/2006 12:10:30 PM | The double standard on this issue just has to die. Bet many of the guys in here calling woman whores because of how many and where would not feel the same about their own sex lives.
And honestly why bother asking, if the person thinks you will judge them by that they will lie! | |
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| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/8/2006 1:33:09 PM | molonel...you dont care that they know she used to be easy, or that they have had what you have. enjoyed her, epieienced her before you in a casual only way? do you care that they didnt want anything else from her? real guys, ones you sometimes still see or hear about.
when you picture her doggy style w/ some guy you know of in a bathroom and you know how hot she looked you feel nothing? [i didnt ask, she told]
it's not that i care what they think, it's that they are kinda right in thinking it. [i believe, yuck sorry]
i see a big difference between guys that dated or went steady w/ my girl and guys that just did her for kicks. i am not jealous at all of any of her REAL ex's.i know most guys see women who they just "did" as different from those they had feelings for.
is it just me, or do most guys feel the same way? when i see a woman i know who used to be promiscuous w/ a new boyfriend i feel like i kinda have something on him. i once did his girl w/ out even knowing her,, and he's all in love w/ her....is that sick or what????
i just dont believe guys could care less when they find out there woman used to be very promiscuous IN REAL LIFE WHEN SHE IS A REAL PERSON HE LOVES NOT SOME HYPOTHETICAL SUBJECT IN A POST, BIG DIFFERENCE TRUST ME. i would say the same and prob feel the same if i were most of you and not in this situation. and i repeat it's not that i asked, it was told to me and she confirmed plus some. i am soo tying to fight through this, say all the ugly mean feelings i have inside and cant or wont say to otheres in real life, thats what i am using this place for, to vent, to release, to sort out my feelings and irrational pain in private, nobody here knows me. in real life i am a person w/ a job, kids, a lot to live for. this issue is all thats holding me back. i dont know what to do. "just geeting over it" makes no sense at this point so dont waste time saying that please!
i think a big part of it is just ADMITTING/ACCEPTING to myself that YES she was sexual w/ other men before me. many men. some i knew. often just for fun. admitting they know this to be true as well. accepting they have the right to feel anyway they want about it. accepting she viewed sex as an activity, not much more. accepting admitting other men have in fact enjoyed her body before me, just for fun. somehow believing i am still something special to her. somehow believing sex does not matter. somehow, letting go of the feeling of feeling bested or emabarrased by what she did w/ them.
just, how do i feel "special" when i know so many others did the same w/ out being special?
i am an idiot for not being able to get through this i know.....
i would do anything to make it not hurt. | |
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Bontar
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Joined: 5/17/2005
Msg: 49 | |
| How many sexual partners does it take to become a turn off!
Posted: 3/8/2006 1:53:53 PM | i generaly just dont even ask anymore. as long as they tell me there clean, inform me of any past but now long gone VDs they may have had i'm happy
that and lord knows i dont wana say how many i've had
the last ten years have been relativly quiet in life, but prior when i was younger b4 my first long term relationship, well it was all short term ;) | |
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| In my opinion ...
Posted: 3/8/2006 3:23:33 PM |
molonel...you dont care that they know she used to be easy, or that they have had what you have. enjoyed her, epieienced her before you in a casual only way? do you care that they didnt want anything else from her? real guys, ones you sometimes still see or hear about. – geewhataguy
You’re acting like this is a theoretical exercise for me, or something. It’s not. No, I don’t care if she used to be easy. I care if she cheats on me right now. Unless she’s a virgin, every woman you date – and I mean every … single … woman – is going to have men who have enjoyed her, and experienced her before you. And yes, she probably had casual sex.
Similarly, you have had women who enjoyed you, and experienced you before her. And I’m betting you probably had casual sex once or twice. Maybe more?
when you picture her doggy style w/ some guy you know of in a bathroom and you know how hot she looked you feel nothing? [i didnt ask, she told] it's not that i care what they think, it's that they are kinda right in thinking it. [i believe, yuck sorry] – geewhataguy
Lol! Oh Lordy! I’ve swapped stories with my partner about our pasts. We laugh about stories. The more important thing is, in my opinion, are you creating stories of your own?
More important than her having past experiences is one real question: is she sharing stories with you in a hurtful way? Is she trying to make you feel inadequate, or less experienced? Does she know that her sharing these stories with you is making you feel this way? And does she continue doing it anyway?
_That_ is important. And yes, _that_ says something bad about her. If she’s trying to hurt you by telling stories in a mean-spirited way, THAT says something bad about her.
i see a big difference between guys that dated or went steady w/ my girl and guys that just did her for kicks. i am not jealous at all of any of her REAL ex's.i know most guys see women who they just "did" as different from those they had feelings for. – geewhataguy
Okay, you see a difference between guys who did her doggy style in a committed relationship, and guys who did her doggy style in a casual encounter.
I don’t.
If she’s sharing stories in a way that belittles you or hurts you, then THAT is a problem. If you two have intimate conversations about past experiences, and you just can’t get them out of your head, that is YOUR problem, not hers. And if you can’t get past it, then you should let her go. But don’t be a coward and act like her sexual experiences are somehow the real issue. Because that’s not true.
is it just me, or do most guys feel the same way? when i see a woman i know who used to be promiscuous w/ a new boyfriend i feel like i kinda have something on him. i once did his girl w/ out even knowing her,, and he's all in love w/ her....is that sick or what???? – geewhataguy
To be honest, yes, that is very sick.
i just dont believe guys could care less when they find out there woman used to be very promiscuous IN REAL LIFE WHEN SHE IS A REAL PERSON HE LOVES NOT SOME HYPOTHETICAL SUBJECT IN A POST, BIG DIFFERENCE TRUST ME. i would say the same and prob feel the same if i were most of you and not in this situation. and i repeat it's not that i asked, it was told to me and she confirmed plus some. i am soo tying to fight through this, say all the ugly mean feelings i have inside and cant or wont say to otheres in real life, thats what i am using this place for, to vent, to release, to sort out my feelings and irrational pain in private, nobody here knows me. in real life i am a person w/ a job, kids, a lot to live for. this issue is all thats holding me back. i dont know what to do. "just geeting over it" makes no sense at this point so dont waste time saying that please! – geewhataguy
Again, you’re acting like this is somehow theoretical to me. It’s not. I’ve been there, done that, and bought the t-shirt.
I’m not just telling you to “get over it.” I’m telling you to grow up. If you don’t face this issue now, then you’re going to face it again, someday. If you are like some guys, you’ll just look for someone you THINK is sexually less experienced than you so you can hide from the problem. And if you ever wonder why a lot of women LIE about their past experiences, look no farther than some of what you’ve written here.
i think a big part of it is just ADMITTING/ACCEPTING to myself that YES she was sexual w/ other men before me. many men. some i knew. often just for fun. admitting they know this to be true as well. accepting they have the right to feel anyway they want about it. accepting she viewed sex as an activity, not much more. accepting admitting other men have in fact enjoyed her body before me, just for fun. somehow believing i am still something special to her. somehow believing sex does not matter. somehow, letting go of the feeling of feeling bested or emabarrased by what she did w/ them. – geewhataguy
I agree. You do need to get past all that. And yes, it is possible.
just, how do i feel "special" when i know so many others did the same w/ out being special? i am an idiot for not being able to get through this i know.....i would do anything to make it not hurt. – geewhataguy
Because sex is not the only thing that makes a relationship special. If it is, then maybe you’re in the wrong relationship.
Take my present partner, for example.
I am special to her because she looks at me like she looks at no other man or woman.
I am special to her because we’ve both had experiences with each other that we’ve shared with nobody else.
I am special to her because she is loyal to me.
I am special to her because she loves me. And I love her.
There are many other reasons. If I focused on her past lovers, and thought about them, and obsessed about them, I could ruin what we have.
But I don’t. I have my lovers in the past. I have my secrets. I have my mistakes. So does she. If she can look past mine, and I can look past hers, and forget about the past, who knows? Maybe we’ll make it. | |
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