| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/19/2006 3:26:51 PM | | I am SO thankful I live in Canada. Not that it's perfect here....but it certainly is better when it comes to judicial fairness. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/19/2006 3:41:19 PM | | Your message sounds kind of bigoted to me. Kids belong with the parent who can best provide for their needs period. Might be the mom might be the dad. Some one is going to lose all most every time. It is about time that the courts are finally following the law and not letting the sex of the parent be the prim determining factor in awarding custody. It is not an even playing field yet, but is getting better. Guys still have a much harder time and when they get custody it is normally because they are the best one to provide for the children by far, close calls still go to the mom. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 9:32:25 AM | "I am SO thankful I live in Canada. Not that it's perfect here....but it certainly is better when it comes to judicial fairness."
You have got to be kidding. Personally knew a canadian man, who had his wife cheat on him, get pregnant by the other guy, and had the kid before the divorce was even final. The court knew the situation and that this was NOT his child (she even admitted it), but he had to pay child support for this kid anyway. You call that fair? | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 2:29:28 PM | A subject I am very familiar with, the same could be said for fathers loosing custody. I spent nearly 3 yrs fighting for my daughter, now 9, the courts social services, Caf Cas, are all oblivious to the reality of what goes on in the real world, everyone telling me to give up u wont get her, not likely.
Despite her mother being a convicte drug addict/dealer and the new boyfriend, many many police call outs for domestic violence, her mums teeth all knocked out, beaten black and blue, they even rolled up every carpet in the house and sold them with my daughters toys, bike play station and anything of value for drug money.
the mother then convicted twice for drunk driving, once twice over the limit with my 6 yr old daughter in the car...all this and yet the authorities still reckoned her mother was the best place to be. I was then working as a Paramedic, no criminal record, dont drink or smoke yet it took the intervention of a Guardian ad litem to strengthen my case and I won my daughter.
the problem is with the legal system, despite the circumstances regardless of what they are the authorities are only intersetd in ticking boxes in court, they skip the detail that matters, the judges dont hear about , thats where the wrong person get custody, believe me after 3 yrs I know all there is to know about custody, men loose out too. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 2:39:18 PM | | I said BETTER not perfect...besides, you have to have all sides of the story before giving judgement and in my opinion, the Canadian system IS better. Geez...what in life is perfect?? | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 3:01:38 PM |
Your message sounds kind of bigoted to me. Kids belong with the parent who can best provide for their needs period. Might be the mom might be the dad. Some one is going to lose all most every time. It is about time that the courts are finally following the law and not letting the sex of the parent be the prim determining factor in awarding custody. It is not an even playing field yet, but is getting better. Guys still have a much harder time and when they get custody it is normally because they are the best one to provide for the children by far, close calls still go to the mom.
I'm not sure who you are calling a bigot, so I will respond for the masses. I didn't hear anybody say that a mother or a father is more suitable to raise children. If that's what you took from any of the posts, please point them out. I disagree that custody should be awarded to the parent who can best provide for them. That would mean every stay at home mother or father would lose custody simply because they don't have money to pay for the needs. This is what the child support system is for, to best provide for the physical needs of the child. Primary custody should be, and normally is, given to the parent who had the primary role of caregiver in the child's life, because the best thing for the child in the event of a seperation is to maintain as much routine as possible. Mothers and fathers play equal but different roles in the lives of children, especially infant children. Enough said. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 3:31:36 PM | "I disagree that custody should be awarded to the parent who can best provide for them. That would mean every stay at home mother or father would lose custody simply because they don't have money to pay for the needs..."
Had me kind of confused with this post, until I just swapped "financial needs" for "needs". Would this be correct? | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 3:53:25 PM | The money to pay for the needs (obviously meaning the needs that can be paid for) lol.
Yes, that's what I meant.
We all know you can't buy love and affection. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 4:15:16 PM | | The original message is what I was responding to and it said in it "after giving a painful birth and breastfeeding" I believe that leaves men out. As to the none working parent being the one who does did the most for the kids, I can tell you that is not how it worked in my house. I worked and when I got home took care of the kids and the wife took off. I said in my message the parent who can best provide for their needs, I did not say monitary needs. All needs is what I said meaning all needs. In Florida there is a whole list of factors that determine needs and who can best meet those needs and being primary care giver is part of the list, but is only a part. As I said the working parent can often be the primary care giver too; I now I was and that is how a mother can lose custody. Enough said! | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 4:20:43 PM | Just because the legal systems, makes judgements upon certain situations. IT does not make it right. It shows legalities trying to be made so judges can see these cases in black and white. I do not believe a childs future and to go even further that that their childs future, because what is installed in one child is carried through to their children should be decided using this black and white theory. The changing the childrens routine arguement is somewhat vague, for when they seperate the other party who has been more of the care provider, may have to get a job and may have even less time that the allready employed parent would have. This is someones life. I believe it is the legal system duty to get to know each person on a real personal basis and to determine who the best provider will be. I dont care if there is a test for each parent that has 3000 personality trait quesitons on it.. This is a childs life and is worth it.
Intiguing may be right in the aspect, that this is how legal sytem works, but I don;t agree with the legal system and I don't think it would be all that much work to do character assessments and so fourth. You can learn alot from a person in just one sentence they say sometimes. It just takes time, that is all. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 4:31:36 PM | | First of all, you apparently don't know the definition of primary caregiver. The primary caregiver is not the parent who spent the most time at home with the child. The primary caregiver is the one who provided that primary care...the baths, the tucking in and cuddles at night, the feedings, and yes the breastfeeding case may be (sorry you think it's bigotry but it's not a woman's fault a man can't breastfeed, blame God for that), and keeping up with the doctor's appointments and registering and chauferring to sporting events, etc. THAT is the primary caregiver. If the case is that the working parent is fulfilling the financial role as well as the primary care role, then they should be granted custody. Those are our laws in Canada and I do agree with them. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 4:39:33 PM | | Ahh, come on intriguing, obviously the stay at home parent will have more tollerance and time to do more of those little things that are important for a child. The everyday stresses of work and the worrying about getting sleep. The time concerns that come along with it. The energy a commute and a long day of work takes out of the parent. You can not even compare that. Of course the parent that stays at home would do more, but that has no basis on who the child would be best suited with. Because that stay at home parent will probably have to gout and get a job now too, which leaves both parents on a level playing field and shows that the childs life is going to alter regardless of who he or she stays with. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 4:50:14 PM | Soory if I offend anyone on here, but good Mothers don't lose custody. The legal system is so buased it is frightening. My ex thought that, she is a good Mother and lo where is our son?
Living with me for the last 3 yrs. And he is 4! | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 4:56:32 PM | | Must have been why the bottle not the breast was used in my house. I don't have them and I did the feeding when I was not working. I also did the tucking in the swim team stuff, homework as well as 100% of the financial need part. Having breast does not make you a better pick and if you think it does then you too are like the first poster and can put on the bigotry hat too. Sex of the parent can not be used at all in Florida, all though lots of judges still do. There are lots that don't and I am thankful for that. As I said the working parent is often the one who does the most for the kids in the home too. Lots of stay at home parents stay at home because they don't have what it takes to work and many of the same things it takes to work is what it takes to care for the kids. Think I said that. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 5:02:39 PM | | ok.well im dad you see.worked out of town alot.come home shes going to the sore,kid of story.and just givesup.best answer stupid,or drugie? | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 5:57:50 PM | | i lost my daughter in court and it is a really sticky situation. i now after over a year and half battling have finally regained joint custody of her but its herd to prove your a fit mother when the father is a pathalogical liar and believes that if he conivinces himself that its the truth or can find some loop hole in the situation it makes it ok. there are many ways a mother can lose custody these days or not regain it if its taken | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/20/2006 7:09:57 PM | When did I say that being female makes you a better parent????
Quit being so defensive. This is a forum, where everybody is entitled to their opinions WITHOUT name calling. Try to keep your emotions out of it and it will be a better debate for all involved. | |
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sambde
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Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 44 | |
| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/21/2006 12:17:50 AM | | I offten wonder the same thing? I guess each case is differnt. I knew this one lady who lost her kids because her ex liied. He then left the kids unattended at the school cps came in the pic he was arested for drugs. hopefuly she will get her kids back. I think some times women are just too nice. they don't want to hurt the guy thinking they will come back. | |
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sambde
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Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/21/2006 12:24:24 AM | Soory if I offend anyone on here, but good Mothers don't lose custody. The legal system is so buased it is frightening. My ex thought that, she is a good Mother and lo where is our son?
Living with me for the last 3 yrs. And he is 4!
I have to agree with you. a good mom wont loose her kids and she will fight for them. I do have to add some men will lie to . keep there kids. | |
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sambde
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Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 46 | |
| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/21/2006 12:31:33 AM | | some parents stay at home so they can be with there kids, not because they can't work. A women stays at home she's lazy B she goes to work shes lazy B.And please do not say just because a parent stays at home doesn't mean they don't have what it takes to work in the outside world. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/21/2006 3:02:33 PM | | Now hasn't this post moved along, and no this isn't a perfect world. It could be better if the law (judges) based there decision on not just the best provider, and try to see which parent will keep the children the safest. I've read somewhere (maybe someone can help) its a study that men can actually learn to be cook's and nurturers, do domestic's as well as the obvious be disciplinarian's. While the women(single) raising children on there own have some trouble with discipline. And traditionally of course there are super mom's that can do it all. Has anyone heard of this study? | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/21/2006 3:07:53 PM | | Do you know someone that this happened to first hand OP? Because in my opinion I don't think that this would happen inless there was a good reason for it. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:24:41 PM | First, let's all remove the apostrophes from plurals.
I think good mothers who work hard and stand up for their kids needs lose custody sometimes because they have to work and day care chews up a vast portion of the income. So much so that it makes living almost impossible for many. | |
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