| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 6/8/2007 1:09:21 AM | | Amen! Did everything for my children. She worked. Woke them up, breakfast, made lunches, supper, dropped them off and picked them up from school, shopped, laundry, coached their hockey, lacrosse, soccer and baseball teams, became a Scout Leader for them AND worked a full time job. She had apparently too much time on her hands and I suspect most can guess the rest of the story. She is now claiming to be the central most important thing in their lives in the last year since we filed for divorce and all of that. It's very frustrating and unfair ... TO THE CHILDREN. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 6/8/2007 4:36:10 AM | Good Lawyers screw up and bad lawyers get lucky. Take that into account with the fact that THEN the justice ( Judge ) could be having a bad day, THEN take into account as to what is best for the kids. I have seen it personally 11 to 15 times and researched well over one thousand cases of custody.
If I hire a guy to build my deck I let him go at it, if ( and when I had to ) hire a lawyer for my custody case(s) regarding the most important aspect in my life, you can bet I jumped in and made sure they were doing / saying / writing on behalf of me and my children's best interests. Anyone who says that Divorce, seperation or custodial litigation is not fair to the kids is correct, and that's if everything goes GOOD, it is a travesty when those who were judged or deemed competent to represent us prove otherwise. That is why I actually like the fact that custody is never binding, appeals can happen as often as that party wishes, now a Judge or court may tire of hearing them but only ( usually ) if all likely reasons have been exhausted. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/11/2007 3:24:44 PM | yes secondloader ,,i had one like that and if you boot them out ,,you pay and they still get custody ..no documentation ...
but they can and have lost custody if they fail to let you have a relationship with your child ..stay involved in there lives | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/11/2007 8:17:43 PM | In Florida, judges seem to be giving everyone joint custody, but mothers usually do get primary residential custody, even if the father is a better parent.
Money still plays a big part in it though. I have custody of my 3 kids, but I have always been the parent that is involved in everything they do, while their father only remembers that he has kids when it suits him. Unfortunetly my ex likes to threaten that he is suing me for custody whenever he gets mad. If he would ever actually do that, there is a good chance that he would win just because he could pay the $400+/hr for a good attorney while I need to spend my money on raising the kids instead. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/12/2007 5:43:38 AM | | I have to honest with my opinion here. I live in Michigan, and "good mothers" DON'T lose their kids. In fact, a stay at home mother HAS to be proven unfit to not get full custody. As crazy as it sounds, a judge cannot rule on joint physical custody, legal yes, but not physical. My divorce, because of a judge's repuation as a "mom's judge" kept me from actually entering into a "Kramer vs. Kramer" type of battle, when I just wanted equal parenting time. There's no middle ground though in Michigan for judges to rule on joint physical custody. It has to be agreed upon by both parties for it to be ruled upon. Thankfully, as poor of a wife as I married, she is a pretty good mom. Loves having her pity parties, but treats and loves my son very well. So for that I'm thankful. Good mom's don't lose their kids though. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/12/2007 6:02:43 AM | OP
I was one of those good mothers! My son was removed because of a hospital social worker called CPS. I was charged with Medical Neglect and my son was legally stolen from me. I faught it and I won it, they had no proof nor could any physician say that I caused my son's medical history. I fed my son well balanced meals, I bathed him and read him stories every night, on Wednesdays I would take him to the park. They said that his schedule was too elaborate and that I was making it up. I contacted the other mothers that I went with, his pediatrician, and people who have watched my son, I was a great mother, according to these people, yet the state took my son. I left a big paper trail right to the senator and I won my son back, I am a single mother!
They don't need a good reason to take your child, just some jerk off the street can call and report and your whole world can crumble in one day at least in Michigan! | |
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.Lisa
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Joined: 8/25/2007
Msg: 207 | |
| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/12/2007 6:42:46 AM | They don't take children away from their mothers without a good reason.
In order for a father to get full custody well he better have one hell of a back up and proof as to why. If he didn't well i think you should find another lawyer. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/12/2007 7:23:04 AM | HOW?? Money, lies, and family political power (especially in smaller areas) can cause the BESTof mothers to lose custody of their child(ren) ... if they don't have the "back-up" the father and his family have.
Apparently a woman can be accused of "abandonment" when she has to let go of her baby because the drunk father is pulling the child from her arms, and then he kicks her out of the house. The only mistake this woman made was giving the pig warning that she was leaving ... but his family's money and power kicked in instantly and she lost her daughter entirely. It's really sad and scary that this can happen ... but it obviously does. I only wished that I could've afforded to hire a good lawyer for this girl to fight for her child .. she tried, but could never gather enough money to get any "power". | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/12/2007 4:44:33 PM | | i had to check to see what country you live in ,,and its not Canada ,,because here ,,the man just pays more if he has money and the women who is broke gets free legal aid to ware down the fathers attempt to try and stay in his child's life ,,they like to give out weekend visits but thats all the custody men get in this country ,,you see i would call this bull shit if it was a Canadian talking .. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:38:02 AM | ummm ..valley.. my example is from Canada ... Alberta to be specific. I would even give the town name, but it may make away this gal's anonomity (spelling?). The lawyer from Legal aid did nothing for this girl ... against his families high priced lawyer. Plus the fact that his rich family intervened immediately and clearly made some calls to Edmonton to take care of "matters" asap - this girl didn't have a chance of leaving the pig - with her daughter!
Just an example though ... but I'm pretty sure the woman is usually favored in the more equal battles. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:05:53 AM | | i dont kno all the spifics of law at all, i kno that my kids mom has just recently gave me my daughter, cuz she wanted to "work" so now i have both the kids at home with me, i wanna go to court, but is it worth it? i keep hearing cuz i am an at home dad i stand no chance cuz of the "father aspect" but from wut i reading here maybe i do... she claims to love them but yet hasent seem them in almost a month... i dunno wut to do... but i wanna do wut is best for the kids, i havent filed in court for fear of losin. maybe that is y alot of fathers lose tho. cuz if i go to court, they may thing she working she has the money to support them better.... even tho she may not be the best parent. so i dunno wut would be the cause of "good" mothers losin. but i can see y others may. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/13/2007 7:47:15 AM | Just an example though ... but I'm pretty sure the woman is usually favoured in the more equal battles
i am still waiting to hear how he did it because i am more then pretty sure the women is favoured .even against a good lawyer ...and the battle is never equal ..lets hear it .. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:03:09 AM | I guess each case is different, I had no trouble as the ex said first he agreed to me to have sole custody then changed it that he wanted sole custody but my lawyer started the meeting with his lawyer and said "are the girls happy - yes, are they doing well in school - yes, well so much for sole custody for him.
I was surprised on tv when I saw David Hasselhoff won custody of his girls, apparently the wife had a drug problem, but look at him drunk on that tape I saw on t.v.
I think possibly why they give the women custody especially when the children are young and she is at home with them is because if the man had them, he has to work for at least 8 hours a day and who will look after the kids?
Sometimes it is just a matter of which lawyer is good at what he does and how it is presented in court. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/13/2007 8:38:06 AM | valley ... I can't give you specifics about HOW he did it - but I assure you it happened, and very fast. My guess is his family got the lawyer and political power in motion once she had to let go of her baby and leave the premises. I believe they went for immediate custody (since they did it through Edmonton, and not in the home town), and somehow used "abandonment" as their offense. Keep in mind that this girl would not have taken any immediate legal action ... thinking things could be worked out even the next day. Further, I assure you that this girl was pretty much flawless in character - her only crime was being young and falling in love with the pig from the wealthy family.
Does it really surprise you that wealth & political power can have this much influence? If I run into this lady, I will ask her for details about the almost non-existent visitation she (n)ever had also...
Jake ... keep detailed documentation of EVERYTHING (how long in between visits/phone calls, length & nature of any visits, conversations - anything and everything). Once you can show on paper what kind of mother she is vs what kind of father you are, you may have a chance... | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/13/2007 9:09:17 AM | it seems that every mother is automaticly considered a good mother and care giver ,,until proven otherwise by a father who has had to prove he is a careing father in a court room ..and thats the only way any mother will loose custody..looks like he acted very fast and that is the key ,,
..I for one think the law is wrong handing any one parent sole custody ,,equal and shared should be automaticly enforced after a brake up . it would end this crap from happening to either parent ,and possibly promote a chance to repair a faulting relationship with a common commitment and love of there child,it is a devistating and totaly unessary experiance for one of the parents if they both care and are both good parents..it seems in most cases they are both considered careing parents while they are together ..but when things end .??one must be proven the better and the lawyers love it and cash in at the childs expense,they promote a good fight ,then the court will award to only one parent..this is wrong ...
for the better of the child ??ya sure
children are better off with both parents and this has been studied and documented but the courts will not act on the findings of these studies.. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/17/2007 5:50:28 AM | Anybody with an opinion to this, please reply. I am a recently divorced mother of 2 children, ages 5 and 8. I am also a stay at home Mom, living with family. Ex-husband thinks he can take children because i do not work. He kicked us out and now he wants to take the children. Do you think that it is possible??
Katie | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 9/19/2007 5:39:19 PM | As of recently I am finding myself in this boat. Not a good feeling to be in. My daughter will be 5 in Dec., her "father" has only seen her 2 times in her life. She was a month old when he did decide to visit her, and when he showed up, he was drunk and stayed maybe 20 minutes, left and went to the bar. When I was pregnant with her, he told me over and over to get an abortion because he did not want this child and he was not going to pay or help support "it". When I filed for child support he even denied her after DNA test proved 99.9% positive he was the father. I lived in Nebraska when she was born, than moved to Texas 2 years ago. Before I left I contacted a Attorney and asked him if i had to contact the "father" or give him notice I was leaving, he told me NO because there was never a custody or visitation case established. Aug. 17th, 2007 I was served with papers that he is trying to get full custody. For the past 3 yrs he only payed $100 a month for child support, when he actually did decide to pay it. I have always worked full time, I have recently bought a house here in Texas, and now have her in school. He has 2 felonys for drugs on his record along with many other criminal charges, and I have NONE. I have a letter from a doctor when his MOM called and asked if his use of METH and huffing paint, would have affected the childs organ developement. I had to hire an Attorney in Nebraska just to motion to move the case to Texas, seemings the child and I have lived here for 2 years, so Texas should have jurisidiction. Last week his attorney sent me a letter stating they no longer are going for FULL CUSTODY, only visitation when its conviniant for HIM! He only filed for custody when he found out his child support payments was going from $100 a month, to $380 a month! His mother called me and said if I agreed to a settlement where he only pays $200 a month until she reaches the age of 19 (by nebraskas law), he would not try to get custody. If he doesnt want to pay child support he can just sign away his parental rights, I dont care!  My poor little darling, cries every night and has to hold my hand while she sleeps because she doesnt want to get taken away from me. She doesnt even know this guy as "dad". It breaks my heart that she is so upset about all of this. Some people have asked why I told her? I thought she needed to know, at some point I still have to explain why she has to go visit him. And I have been told by other Texans to prepare myself for the worst | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/5/2009 6:38:14 AM | my ex knew that the only way he could get custody was if something was desperately wrong with me. So he took off with my 14 month of child on my first day at work and then when we had an emergency hearing at the court, he told in his statement that I had was suicidal, had personality disorders was unstable, suffered post natal depression. The judge said, that as all he heard today was about the mother ( my statemnet basically stated that I was always the primary carer and did not call him any names what soever, despite his gambling and adultery and lack of presence in the home) then for the saftey of the child he made a temporary order of residence in favour of the father. (despite it being the grandparents who was to care for the child)
17 weeks later at the hearing my ex suggested that I then had munchausen bi proxy and had been dilibrately hurting my child for attention. All accustations and desperate ones. After social services reports and letters from health vistors and doctors and the support of the court and childrens welfare officer who wrote her findings, my child was returned, with full residence. the father now gets contact.
Its dissapointing that judges take action on mere accusations. I had never been in contact with social services, he had never raised issue with any of his accustations prior to wanting custody of his son.
Immediately after court I never heard from a social worker or health vistor again. Yet they was crawling all over me for 17 weeks.
I feel anger and hatred towards my ex who didnt have the courage to admit that he wanted his child but not me. Because he knew that in reality, he was the weaker parent and the court would never give him full custody. Its lies that forces courts to make the wrong decisions. And its the children who suffer. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/5/2009 8:31:21 AM | Queston is why do so many men not get Residence and so many people think in this day and age that it is a womans right and not a mans ?
Men struggle to get Shared Residence when shared parenting is in the best interests of the child. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/5/2009 8:38:30 AM | | It shouldn't happen. My childrens' father always threatened that he would take the kids if I ever left him and that whoever had the most money always won. He was a felon, a drug addict, pathological liar, absent father, etc. He didn't even want them, he just wanted to hurt me. Thank God he wasn't able to take my babie from me, they are 1 & 3, but I was terrified. I was told point blank that I needed to settle out of court because, you never knew what would happen in court. My ex had nothing on me but continued to try to set me up through the entire divorce. I admire good fathers and would hope they WOULD get custody if the mothers are anything like my ex. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/5/2009 12:35:01 PM | | So you're saying no judges are corrupt or have their own biases?? Some, if there's one thing they don't like about you they'll be unfair. There's been cases in which the fathers have gotten custody over the good mothers. For example, there was a mom that got a job as a nurse to support herself and her son b/c her husband left her for another woman. The father sued for custody saying the boy would be better with him and his new step-mom b/c she was a stay-at home mom, where as with his mom he'd have to go to daycare on the weekends. though the rest of the week shouldn't have mattered much i don't think b/c he had to go to school on those days. Her ex-husband left her the choice of staying home and he'd pay her, but she had to go by his rules like she couldn't date who she wanted to and such. it was crazy, if a mom is single and nobody's around to help then she's got to get a job. the judge gave the dad the custody b/c he'd have to go to daycare on the weekend. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/5/2009 12:38:44 PM | | That is true, especially so back a few decades. Any nosy neighbor could call cps just b/c they don't like the person and make up a story and without question they'd take the kids and sell them into "adoptive families." and they'd conveniently lose the paperwork, so contact would be lost forever. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/6/2009 5:59:42 AM | Moms don't automatically get custody anymore. Courts are looking for what is in the child's best interest. The courts would like to discourage children growing up on welfare.
I let my ex have my youngest son, as I only made $7 a hour. I thought he was a good Dad, just as huband and wife, we did not seem to agree on anything. | |
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| How good mother's lose custody todays?
Posted: 5/6/2009 6:10:59 PM | It is sad, but it is also sad that there are mothers on this very site, who meet married men here. Give them the address and lock the children in the rooms while they are screwing in the next room. You know who you are!!! These are the skanks who ruin it for the Real Moms out there....... | |
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