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| | Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?Page 2 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | I dont like when people generalise, like cee4. coz its very easy for me to say that all girls are the same, they keep rejecting the nice guys and choosing the wrong people, then claiming they cant find any nice guys...and i also dont like it when people like opinionator start agreeing with the girls who claim all guys are the same. looks like opinionator belongs to the majority of guys who dont understand emotions, and cee4 even if you found one that was nice and different, im 100% certain you'll reject him and choose somebody else over him.
guys and girls need some bridge that can help em to understand each other, its a huge mess of having something against the other gender because of their own experiences. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:23:25 PM | Amen You nailed it to the tee. Men are insecure about themselves so they play with our emotions because they can't handle their feelings. Men talk about women being so insecure but they need to look in the mirror. I think more women need to let action speak louder than words because it would put a stop to men saying I love you while your replacement is standing in the other room listening. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:35:19 PM | Why do women DEMAND a picture first thing, I mean - you say "hello" to them and the very very first thing I get back is just "SEND PICTURE" !!
Just once, it would be REALLY nice to get "hello" or "how are you ?" or "nice to meet you"
And when I do send them a picture; they just disspear - never write back; never even say "oh, thank you - but I don't feel ..."; or when you do setup a date and they stand you up because they see you from a far and just turn around and go home even without introducing themselves?? | |
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cee4
| | Joined: 1/12/2006
Msg: 31 | |
| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:36:18 PM | I don't generalize, I speak from what I have experienced.
I recently met a man on line, we MSN'd frequently, webcam'd frequently, we were impressed with each other, he told me he was very interested in me as I was in him - we met face to face, went okay, we spoke later on the phone, still okay, suggested we meet for dinner - great, would call me soon. Fast forward to now ... that was 2 weeks ago, haven't heard a word since. Tell me what THAT was about? Oh, and the most hilarious part of it all - he said to me "I'm a gentleman until the end". What was "gentlemanly" about that charade?????????
I am not into games, I don't play them and I don't expect the be a participant in yours.
Why can't we meet decent men / women - not sure. Truthfully, I don't think it's possible on a dating site. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 4:38:36 PM | | It's easy if you know how. The kind of person who asks "How can I do this?" will learn how. The kind of person who blames the world for not handing over what they want, only learns to perfect the art of blaming. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 7:32:37 PM | | I'm a man who's said "I love you" and then GET dumped, but never dumped a girl after I said "I love you" not without a good reason anyways for example If I caught her cheating on me ect | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 7:51:42 PM | In responce to this part of your message. "He could say those 3 magic words to me a million times and it won't mean anything significant to me UNLESS he shows me his genuine love for me with his actions.Words alone are not enough & actions speak louder than words".
Why would you ever beleived he loved you if he wasnt showing you he did? Actions do speak louder then words, and if he wasnt proving he loved you, then he didnt. Never settle for less because of words. Be true to yourself and your beliefs and what you really want.  | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 10:23:25 PM | Not all men.... To me, the words "I Love You" are a sacred trust. If I dump her ... I have done some serious soul searching and tried everything in my power to keep the relationship alive. Even then, I will still love her ... and will forever. Love never dies. It becomes positive energy.
Steve | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 10:51:29 PM | Some guys & gals think "actions speak louder...Then words"! Lol...It can take time to get to know someone, so it's probably a good idea to not have too much action before words and getting to know each other! Some people, are only looking for the action and sometimes they love" IT" and that's all! Good luck spotting the difference all you real people! Stay real, Baby! | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/18/2006 11:22:47 PM | I like your opinion. I will think about it and hope I can adapt the ideas to cope with my future relationship and understand more about men.
Thanks
Dao (Li Huang)
Bangkok, Thailand | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:59:07 AM | Love is confusing and is many things? Sure it is. Modern life does not provide very many solid clues. Love is the most overused, misused and most misunderstood word in the English language. In his first encyclical, Pope Benedict the XVI pointed out how contemporary society overuses and misuses the word love. At the same time, it is the most important, most desired and powerful condition of a human being. This paradox being the most misunderstood and the most important concept in the human experience.
Love from the dictionary:
1. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
a. Sexual passion.
b. Sexual intercourse.
c. A love affair.
3. An intense emotional attachment, as for a pet or treasured object.
4. A person who is the object of deep or intense affection or attraction; beloved. Often used as a term of endearment.
So ladies and gentleman pick a number, stop blaming, have integrity and be upfront with your potential member of the opposite sex or same sex (whatever your preference) and love like there is no tomorrow.
Yes, most men can be ***holes, dogs and what other adjectives you can think of ladies. And ladies, you are no different, just not as many like men maybe. So everyone, just get over yourself, love from your heart – not from your head, because your head has messed up perceptions of love and make the most of every moment of every day.
For those of you who love from your head, get therapy, because most likely your perceptions are all messed up and you don’t need to play with anyone’s emotions. Love is an emotion, a feeling and takes action.
Ask yourself:
1. How do you love yourself?
2. What makes you feel loved?
3. Are you doing things (actions) of love for your partner, yet not recognized as action of love? Ask your partner what makes them feel loved. Without this how do you know? Ladies – tell your partner what makes you feel loved and men, the same thing if you know it.
a. Spending quality time
b. Buying little trinkets
c. Sharing common experiences
O - one more thing. Become best friends with your partner. How one loves someone that is not his or her friend is beyond me. I have come across people that say they love their partner, yet not best friends. How the hell does that work? You should like the person that you love, yes? Hummmm…
That’s my 2 cents, and know, without love you have nothing - living life is loving deeply and making the most of every day. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/19/2006 1:20:19 AM | | We are all heartbreakers in our own right. We are attracted to different ideals, theories, feelings, looks, activities, etc. As we grow and change in life, what we seek differs. Love is something that grows between two people. I think the reason most people walk away is because at some point they finally realize that what they have - they are settling for. It is difficult to find someone with the perfect combination of traits and growing along the same pathway. Not impossible - just difficult. Most people fear being alone more than they fear settling... so thus the relationship is formed. Is it that they don't love us? I doubt it. It is just that at some point they come to the conclusion that staying with us would in fact be settling, then they move on. So I say - Kudos to those who are willing to walk away in pursuit of their dream. I also say congratulations for those who have found someone who matches them to the point that they do not feel as if they are settling. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/19/2006 9:36:41 AM | Okay, you're right. Men aren't the only the one to say "I LOVE YOU" and then dump you, a few of my girlfriends have done it but they had good reasons to dump their deadbeat loser boyfriends.
I myself didn't know what true love was for a long time.I had alot of weird ideas about love & that's why I ended up in several abusive relationships.Since then I been doing a few things:Getting myself some therapy, reading self-help books, and even more IMPORTANTLY becoming a born again Christian.Because of this, I have truly been able to learn, understand, and know what TRUE LOVE IS.Jesus Christ, MY LORD & SAVIOUR has been my best friend and greatest teacher. If you people want to know what love is , read the Bible & go to Jesus.
Jesus IS NEVER WRONG.THE BIBLE is not a book a made up fairytales either. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/19/2006 10:10:39 AM | I was just asking myself that same question. Just went through a situation where the guy had been telling me this for months, I have been alone for awhile and was very reserved, finally let my gaurd down and of course got hurt. I want to give up sometimes but I can't,I just have to believe that somewhere out there there is one guy that can handle a real relationship and knows what those words really mean. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/19/2006 11:07:29 AM | | Well i've thought about this and my conclusion is that most of the women on this site probably go for the best looking guy they can find. But most of the guys like that are**** and only care about getting a peice . so basically I am saying that you girls are totally going for the wrong kind of guys , but this will never stop happening because its just the way it is. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/19/2006 11:51:59 AM | First of all, opinionator's my g*ddamn hero.
I can't get enough of your "opinions"  ...
I don't say this to many, but I am in AWE.
Hats off, and *Bows* to this Guru.
Moving on, jillmac71
Why do men say "I Love You' and then dump you later on?
Because it's better than saying it and dumping you on the spot? (That's just sad when they do that.)
Seriously though, as opinionator proclaimed, "There is no universal principle of True Love." but the more of your posts I read, the more I believe that you and I may have the same "description" of true love (I'm not hitting here, it's an observation)... Perhaps since we're both part of "The fourth and unparalleled triangle of compatibility" In Chinese Astrology?
(You're a Pig, and I'm a Goat). This "triangle of compatibility" is said to be : "compassionately aware, yet detached and resigned to their condition. They seek beauty and a sensitive lover." But I digress...
You said "From now on when a man says "I LOVE YOU" to me, I will laugh at him and treat him like a joke." Please don't do this. It's just like saying "Prove it" (but with a hint of mockery). It won't only insult someone, question his integrity, but will most likely make him bolt as well...
Just like you, I'm a firm believer that actions speak louder than words, because the same dog-piss has happened to me too many times. The problem with this, is that actions take time. And you can't squeeze those actions out of anyone.
I do have a problem with them changing their mind about their love.Love is not a switch that you turn on & off.Love is 4ever! Exactly...
qaz4u (Msg: 16)
Because they've probably heard alot about the "Feminist" ways of the western world and their unfair laws against men - they're scared and don't want to get burned like so many others. VERY TRUE, and GOOD POINT. It's based on statistics and cold-hard facts. Men are at a discriminating disadvantage because women can play them and get away with it no matter what. The courts will favor them because they're just "weak", "helpless", "caring", "compassionate" and "nurturing" females who can't DO anything bad with such sweet, innocent and pretty little faces. Pull-ease... I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Feminist equality is a double standard abused by nasty, spoiled-rotten jezebels. A lot of men are terrified to even ATTEMPT getting into a relationship with "modern" women, because they can see unjustified jail-time and/or bankruptcy on the horizon. Good point. BTW, can you explain these acronyms to me, I'm ignorant on these : "FW", "AW", and "WW". Thanks.
dreamlover19 (Msg: 17)
after all he is human and needs to have somebody. A lot of people would scoff at this comment alone. I applaud it.
not_texan (Msg: 18)
He said he loved you, he didn't say he was in love with you.
There are different degrees of love.
Don't be an idealist, be a realist. You're splitting hairs. So by YOUR philosophy, are you saying that 2 people should only be together for the duration of the period in which they are both "in love" with each other? No wonder there are so many divorces... Some people are idealistic by nature. To change that would be to take away their ability to dream. What other part of their humanity will you strip away for YOUR IDEALISTIC view of society? Individualism perhaps? 
cee4 (Msg: 19), perhaps if you changed your name to SEE4, you'd SEE AT LEAST 4 guys in THIS THREAD ALONE, that are "just that little bit different." Did everyone skip vicwhit post or something? Here's a REAL MAN, who's sacrificed his HEALTH, and works his fingers to the bone, simply to bring joy to women he's deemed special. What have they done? USED HIM for whatever money he brought, STOMPED on his heart, and thenpretty much left him for dead. So it's not all GUYS that are the "same", but the phony b!tches who are brought up as Antagonistic Parasites, because they have some grudge with the opposet sex who ARE THE SAME. Now who really has problems?
and_nothing_else_matters
So move on, or wait till you love yourself truly, then others will easily. I disagree. No one should "prepare" themselves for love. This makes no sense. And I know what you mean.
1inamillion7
men and women are more alike than you think. Men have feeling just like us. THANK YOU. More women should think this way...
Excellent post michchik
Because all men are ****ing liars! OK ****em all! Im done!! Yes, ALL men are. Bravo. Funny I feel the same with all gals, or wait, it could simply be the ones I've witnessed and been with... Nah, too great a risk and coincidence, I'd be playing the odds... 
dreamlover (Msg: 26), Another great post, I concur.  But don't beat up on opinionator, he's trying to convey the same message(s) you/I are, but through humoristic satire. I give it up to him.
Well dippity_dawg_1969 (Msg: 28), men as well as women get burned. But when a women "plays with a man's emotions/feelings", it's no holds-barred, they pull out all the stops, and burn their bridges. It's far worse, so don't get me started...
To answer your post (Msg: 30) lovehugs, it's because this is just another cutthroat game to most, and their perspective is that "You can't win, no matter what." THEY make their own rules, and they WILL win, and make sure they do everything in their power to achieve this goal. (Not answering emails is the tip of the iceberg, believe me.) Anyone who considers love a game isn't worth your time.
cee4 (Msg: 31)
I am not into games, I don't play them and I don't expect the be a participant in yours.
Why can't we meet decent men / women - not sure. Truthfully, I don't think it's possible on a dating site. First of all, although I completely agree with the former part, I still believe that the latter part of this quote is blasphemy, even though it's looking that way...
I'm sorry to hear about your bad experience, try picking a less than "hot"-looking guy next time. It's my experience that those who consider themselves higher up the 1-10 scale, and believe you perceive them as such, think they're in control (cause you give them that control with the previous segment of my statement), and can do what they want to/in the "relationship" which they're not taking seriously to begin with!
SweetGreenEyes (Msg: 36)
Tell me you love me and I will never dump you.
If you lie and tell me you love me and I find out about it consider yourself dumped. You just summed up "the game". It's all about not letting you find out. It's no wonder so many people are miserable...
On a thread where we were asked to define "love", I jokingly said "Love is two people who are infatuated with each other, spending a lifetime trying to prove otherwise... " Because it seems to be the consensus on things. 
I agree with most of your post islandseekr, but some people don't want love. I know, it's sad. They merely want games. Life's a game, and love should be too. This is how they think. And they have to win. It's how people are brought up in modern society "HAVE TO WIN". It all starts in school. "Do better.", "Don't FAIL.", "Work Harder.", "Don't miss the DEADline." These are all subliminal messages that get subconsciously carried over to ALL ventures in life, unfortunately, including "love", partnership, companionship, whatever. Cutthroat.
How do 2 people love each other without being friends? Again, part of the game. People generalize, categorize, and label. Giving a lover the "label" of friendship would give that lover too much power, and they would be at risk. People are scared, that's all. They must realize that they can't love without risk. It's all a question of trust and "control". Humans seek "perfection" (again, due to "civilized" upbringing), so they need that illusion of control. They can't trust another cause they can't trust themselves (or their heart). As I said, it's SAD.
~ Romeo | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/19/2006 12:18:02 PM | I've been really struggling with this one this past week. If they're (men or women) leaving, they're leaving, so why are they so afraid to say why?
The not knowing consumes me. We have/had the "knowing" thing, about anything, in common. I think that makes it even worse. He has to KNOW how much this not knowing would kill me. This is exaclty how my long term partner left just under 2 years ago, but in that case I could put a few things together since we had been together for so long (but still an awful lot of guessing). With the current situation, I can only guess. Any answer at all cannot make me feel any worse than I do now.
Are any of us who have been left that way really so underserving and so far beneath you who are not giving us a chance at closure? | |
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