| | Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?Page 5 of 11 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11) | | Why Do WoMen Say I Love You & then dump you later? | |
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tpad
| | Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 103 | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/25/2006 12:07:54 PM |
well that was just brilliant....
well, that was not nice, even if perfectly accurate. Couldn't you recognize the sound of the wounded male keening the loss of his beloved mate? | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/25/2006 9:07:33 PM | Well If It was a real commited relationship .. they fell out of love with you .. If you can fall In love you can fall out of love thats common sense. Things change, life directions, goals ect, one party can simply outgrow the other and want to move on. Or they may love you ( but not be In love with you - BIG difference ) we love our friends or parents, we dont want to wake up looking at their face each morning.
Or If It was a short term thing - and a man that said It then left , prob to get sex.
Love doesnt last forever .. not all love. Theres many degrees of love and obviously all those divorced people and people who've had ltr's thought they had It .. but alas here we all are so It doesnt take einstein to figure out we were either - A . wrong B. It wasnt a lasting love. Loves pretty useless one sided and they obviously arnt the one we think they are ( as we all find out later on ) or they'd never have left In the first place. They may be great people but they are not the " One " for us and Im sure most of us will find the one eventually. I say most as settling seems to be a bit common these days, so obviously If we cant take what may be years alone to find the right match we will keep repeating past mistakes. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/25/2006 9:25:26 PM | | great words^^^. The word that bothers me is the word "dump"... To gently help someone thru the break up period is a more loving way of saying ..I have outgrown you or you don't excite me or there is no mystery left..Love is unconditional and yes, one sided is no love at all..At times it is better for each in the picture to remain friends but drift apart..at other times it is better to just make it it short and sweet and as pain less as possible. It would depend on how long the relationship has been before the "dump" | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/26/2006 6:55:06 AM | Thank you, Opinionator, for words that snapped me out of my morning funk. Am not into the blame thing, generalizations, etc. (although I have sought honey in empty beehives). Still, that funk has been fairly nasty as of late given a mess of adultish type responsibilities. Have been htting back the balls was fast as they're thrown, but am consequently exhausted. It's time to practice the technique -- the "How can I ..."
Just discovered this site by accident last night/much earlier this morning and decided to sign up and post. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 2/26/2006 11:35:50 AM | | The reason men say I love you is because women play hard to get. Guys have sexual desires just like women and they pursue them alot more agressively then women. I don't see whats wrong with two people having sex but not being inlove. If you walk up to a women and be honest and say "I think your sexy and I won't to have sex with you nine times out of ten your going to get slapped in the face. Girls just won't to have fun? ya well so do guys! Women don't understand that getting laid to a guy means being exccepted. Without being exccepted men feel bad about who they are. The best thing you could do to make someone fell good about them selves is give them some, who knows you just might enjoy it. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 3/20/2006 10:57:17 PM | To get laid cause basically that is all they will ever get form a woman all the rest is him giving everything to her. The Wedding, The Prom, The Corsage, The flowers, The house, The car, The nights out, The MOVIES, the dances, the drinks, the movies, the rental movies, the engagement ring, the wedding ring, the special day, Valentines Day, , Birthday, Mothers Day, House Warming, Baby Shower, Bridal Shower, Shopping (Black Friday) Day, The Credit Cards, The, The, The, Always giving to women. So, to get out of having to do all that crap, guys will lie, make the woman think he loves her and she has all that to look for, she will fall for it and he gets loved like he paid for it. Which he actually did or men does.
Which usually is the only time a woman will really treat a man like he matters cause she is so excited she is going to get all this wonderful stuff, she will do anything. Even sell sex to a man. So he got great sex and now he has to commit after it begins to look suspiciously like he has been boyfriend too long and not husband, so it's bye bye and on to the next hot girl who doesn't really care about you or any woman for that matter, just fun that is all expenses paid and she is young and nubile and he is weak and horney and you are old and played. The End. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 3/20/2006 11:48:00 PM | Well, I don't mean to sound forward but how do you know ALL, I'm always upfrount and I can't talk for the rest but nowadays, especially in my country guys are changing, Matt | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 4/27/2006 2:56:06 PM | | My husband walked out on my 2 month old and me 5 yrs ago. He didn't tell me why. We had a beautiful church wedding and he seemed really inlove. The not knowing why he left does hurt, but You have to move on. It's their problem anyway. I make a commitment and I stick to it. Most men have a problem with commitment and responsability. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 4/27/2006 4:02:56 PM | Think back...how many people in your life have you said "I Love You" to? Go way back..and are you with them now? At different stages in our life we think and feel differently about people...at 22 I said "I Love You" to my ex-husband...now at 47, I look back and realize that 'love' wasn't what it should have been..how did I know??? I was 22!!! At 47, I still have no clue as to the 'whys' of what happened...you're the dumper or the dumpee at times in your life...when does it end? When we meet someone special and it flourishes...the 'I Love You's" are thrown around recklessly..after all...this is the 'one.' But wait!! Then we 'hate' them or are hurt by them later on....what happened to 'Love??' It should have lasted forever! Right?? Wrong. We do not feel consistently the same as we grow through the years...our perceptions of 'love' change as do our priorities. Women are no different than men...look at some of these great guys on this site that have had a woman say "I Love You", then they were dumped. Hope this helps...I have no clue as to what that 4-letter word means now..
Sanschele | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 4/27/2006 4:20:29 PM | As the old saying goes Love is a many splendid thing But in todays reality check it is hard to find the one that makes your heart skip a beat everytime you kis one another or the world seems to stop and you and the other person r the only ones in the room.I have exsperienced that and for that I do know what love is.I just recently lost someone to another person and now she is miserable and knows she ###ked up with me 3 strikes your out Baby and thats my story and I am sticking to it LOL life is funny but love is forever and when the chemistery is right you know the other person is the new drug and it lasts like the energizer bunny.SOOO jillmac dont give up have fun in the meantime.There is an old song that runs thru my mind I forget who sings it but goes like this ( It is sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along) Peace and may god bless you in all you do
J.D.R.II | |
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ttlove
| | Joined: 4/17/2006
Msg: 115 | |
| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:08:53 PM | | I wish I knew the answer to this maybe I could move on. 8 1/2 years he said he loves me abuse me to the point I moved out. three days after i moved he calls saying he loves me 5 days later he files for divorce no reason wont talk to me just leaves me hanging. how can he do this. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:19:25 PM | HA HA ,
Thats the truth. Probably because you are a dependant chick who needs a mans love to validate your existance. My Ex wife has never been alone. She goes from one man to the next. Have you ever tried being happy by your self for a while before jumping into the next fire? | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:19:57 PM | I would say its because that many men think these are the words that women or his woman wants to hear. Wrong, wrong, those three words only should be spoken when its from the heart, not to get out of the dog house,or because she will give in and sleep with you, or because you need things from her money,a place to flop or the such.
In the same breath women , should not press there boyfriends or the such to profess feelings of love. Love comes in a natural way and blooms when it may. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:43:11 PM | | I totally agree with smokinjoe.....Why people have a fear of being alone is beyond me. Men are just as bad as women are for that as well. Ive seen wives leave there husbands and less than a month later the guy is with someone seriously..What the hell is that about. God forbid that you stay alone for a year or so, figure out who you are, what your interests are. Then perhaps the next time you get together with someone he wont be the same type of guy you had before that treated you not so nice....Some women wonder why they always attract the "wife beaters" ..Gee I wonder why...Maybe never getting over your last experience with one before you jump into the next one. And the whole I love you thing..Certain men I think find it easier to tell you what you want to hear and not have to "analize" everything to death. Imagine if you said I love you and he said awwwww thanks...That could take days to explain its way easier if he just says it back..lol | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:50:07 PM | True love never dies, that's true. Though we can often be led into the illusion of love if the other party gives us so much feedback that we think their end is as unequivocal as your own. I mean what do you make of a woman who dates you and wants to see you 5 times in one week and calls you honey? What do you make of a woman who caresses you for an hour on end watching a movie at your own home? Same woman mind you. Then shockingly tells you a month into the relationship that she is seeing someone else? She works at a job that sometimes requires her to work weekends. You try to make as much time as possible for her, and it ends up realizing that she isn't that interested. Yes, I've been deceived by apparent love. I'm learning not be deceived anymore. It is just lust when somebody for the first time in your life shows that much apparent interest.
I'm not afraid to show true love to someone who really wants it. Unfortunately you might give it your all, and still not click it in the other person. I can lead a horse to water, but I don't know how to make them drink. So the rolls of the sexes are reversed in this situation to the original poster. Yet the net result is the same. Games can be played by anyone. Whether or not you want to partake in those games is another matter. I guess that's what is meant by having a serious relationship. The games do become serious, and are no longer true games.
I agree, actions speak louder than words. So far I've seen a lot of talk, some action, but not enough to sink my teeth into. At least we parted company mutually without any blame. I was smart enough to say I recognized my faults, and she said not to worry about them.
The good thing is, with all this, it has made me wiser, and hopefully the next person will be less flaky than the last. It seems as much faith as anything else which holds two people together.
The problem is reading a woman's mind enough to know what actions they really need. I never believed in telepathy. Maybe those that succeed have it subconsciously and never know it! Anyway, I'm not disappointed. Just learning, and that is the greatest joy. Before I started looking I was blind to all of this game play. Now more than before I'm ready for some real understanding of a true relationship. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/1/2006 7:55:00 PM | | SOME MEN ARE JUST PLAYERS-BUT ONE THING LADIES -IF YOU DON,T TAKE YOUR TIME & LET A MAN GET TO KNOW YOU!!!!!!''DON,T'' LET HIM MAKE LOVE TO YOU & ''DON,T ''MOVE IN TOGETHER!SOME MEN MAY BE LIKE YOU & KNOW HOW THEY REALLY FEEL EARLY ON,BUT THE NUMBER WOULD BE SMALL!!REMEMBER THEY DON,T ''THINK'' LIKE WE DO-NOT IN THE ROMANCE DEPARTMENT!! | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/1/2006 8:38:34 PM | Reading some more of the posts in this thread, maybe I should clarify what I mean by true love never dies.
True love certainly dies once both of the people who loved die. However, while a loving relationship exists, and when it is a loving relationship, you always remember those moments feeling that you couldn't be with someone else? When you wonder why can't this feeling last forever? Well in essence it does. Once it is experienced, and you have a moment of loneliness, you reminisce in how it was once. So you go back and hope to experience it again. Does that mean if I ever say I love you to a woman I see in the future that I'm thinking of another woman only? No. The present still matters the most. I say, this because there is the misconception at least among some that you might not really be loving them and are lost in thought about the other person. Not at all. Rather, I know I respected each person I've seen, and still hold that if I should ever meet them again that respect will still be there. Especially if it someone I've loved. If they should not want to be part of a loving relationship, I'm not going to force it on them. Then perhaps one could say true love has died since the desire to remember it is gone in the other, and it no longer is mutual. Still the one side who had felt love, are they not still feeling the need for love? Love doesn't die per se, just is our choice of ignoring it, or letting it live. That's just my opinion, for what it is worth.
Tough questions all, and an interesting topic to be certain! | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/1/2006 8:56:45 PM | I agree with TiredofBS, Love IS unconditional!! Love has always existed and always will, and no, Love is not a switch to be turned on and off but like a flower can live, or be allowed to die without cultivation.
It is ok to temporarily give up on the words "I Love You", just don't give up on the feelings as they will show thru time and actions.
I've never posted in the forums but had to tonight for the bitterness and loss of faith is overwhelming, almost inconceivable.
Don't give up on GOD, for GOD is LOVE!!
UNIVERSAL,UNCONDITIONAL, and INFINITE!!
 GOD Bless | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/1/2006 9:16:25 PM | | Ok guys i might be very young guy and might look crazy but I'll try to tell you why most men say i love u and later dump u... IT IS BECAUSE THEY HAVE YOU AND C THAT YOU CARE ABOUT HIM THEN HE GOES OUT AND FIND HIM SELF ANOTHER WOMEN OR 2 WHO KNOWS AND THEN HE TELLS YOU THAT HE LOVES YOU JUST TO KEEP U AS A SPARE AND MAKE U THINK OH MY GOD HE REALLY LOVES ME BUT HE DOESNT BECAUSE HES ALREADY GETTING USED TO ANOTHER WOMEN AND HE STARTS TO LIKE HER AND START TELLING HER I LOVE YOU AND THEN EVERY TIME HE HANG OUT WITH YOU .. YOU START TO GO ON HIS NERVES MORE AND MORE BECAUSE HE REALLY LIKES THE OTHER WOMEN AND DONT WANT U NO MORE THEN HE SAYS IN HIS LIL HEAD U KNOW WHAT SCREW THIS WOMEN I HAVE OTHER ONE I LIKE BETTER SO HE GHOES AHEAD AND DUMP YOU AND THAT GOES ON AND ON BECAUSE IF U DONT STICK TO 1 WOMEN U CANT REALLY HAVE A NICE RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE U THINK OF ANOTHER WOMEN MORE THEN THE ONE U HAVE NOW SOONER OR LATER OTHER WOMEN STAT ASKING YOU HEY U NEED TO SEE ME MORE OFTEN THATS WHEN U DUMP UR WOMEN AND THAT SUCKS FOR HER BECAUSE ALL THE TIME SHE MAYBE LOVED YOU AND CARED ABOUT YOU BUT I GUESS THATS THE WAY MOST AMERICAN MEN ARE.. OH AND I DONT KNOW IF SOME OF U WOMEN OUT THERE NOTICE THIS WHEN EVER U MEET SOMEONE AND START GOING OUT EVERYTHING IS OK UNTIL U HAVE FIRST SEX AFTER THAT U SEE THE MEN LESS AND LESS THE MORE SEX U HAVE THE MORE MEN U GET TO SEE...... | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/1/2006 9:24:37 PM | | I completely agree with dippity_dawg_1969. I've dated many girls who claim and desire things about me or vice versa, but rarely back up those words with any action to show that they really desire the talk. As humans, we say what the other wants to hear so often, it's sickening. And we do it because we fear being alone. This whole idea about saying "I Love You" and falling in love doesn't happen after a few dates. It's about GIVE AND TAKE by BOTH people over a long period of time. Too many people in the world are impatient and only want to take, thinking they have given in the process. | |
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| Why Do Men Say I Love You & then dump you later?
Posted: 6/1/2006 9:28:07 PM | "Too many people in the world are impatient and only want to take, thinking they have given in the process."
Amen brother!
If you are not willing to give, then you should not take anything. Love is cultivated over a long time not an instant thing, that instant feeling is lust. It's what originally attracts you to someone. | |
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