| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 1/8/2007 5:33:25 PM |
Hey Mikey says: "They want to take their sweet time talking and chatting to make sure the guy isnt a creepy,stalker, physco, killer.
These are the same women that say I dont know anything about you till I meet you in person.. So what gives ladies??? "
Think about this for a sec. . . .
Actually, if they really were a creepy, stalker/psycho person, don't you think that they wouldn't let on while your chatting online and talking on the phone. Wouln't the point be to lead you into meeting and then spring it on you ???
I say ... y'know, like the box ah chocolates, you never know what you're going to get .....lol
I think you could e-talk for weeks and weeks and STILL not know what the real motive is.
HELL you can live with someone for years and still not really know them if they don't want to let you in.
I think I have a horndog magnet around me these days - ARGH! 4 out of 5 just seem to want a little tickle ... So I'm giving dating a break for a bit. Gets old after a while.
I had one guy who was all be my girl friend exclusively ... "I love you" one day and then the minute I stood up for myself when he did something that hurt me, he freaked out, told me he hated me, made all kinds of accusations, and derogatory comments. Go figure. Some People lie, cheat, steal, others don't, it's not always easy to tell the difference. I thought I was a pretty good judge or chrctr, boy .... with this guy - I was WAY off! Wow.
So I say, live, learn, re-evaluate and move on! | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 1/8/2007 5:34:35 PM | Hey Mikey says: "They want to take their sweet time talking and chatting to make sure the guy isnt a creepy,stalker, physco, killer.
These are the same women that say I dont know anything about you till I meet you in person.. So what gives ladies??? "
Think about this for a sec. . . .
Actually, if they really were a creepy, stalker/psycho person, don't you think that they wouldn't let on while your chatting online and talking on the phone. Wouln't the point be to lead you into meeting and then spring it on you ???
I say ... y'know, like the box ah chocolates, you never know what you're going to get .....lol
I think you could e-talk for weeks and weeks and STILL not know what the real motive is.
HELL you can live with someone for years and still not really know them if they don't want to let you in.
I think I have a horndog magnet around me these days - ARGH! 4 out of 5 just seem to want a little tickle ... So I'm giving dating a break for a bit. Gets old after a while.
I had one guy who was all be my girl friend exclusively ... "I love you" one day and then the minute I stood up for myself when he did something that hurt me, he freaked out, told me he hated me, made all kinds of accusations, and derogatory comments. Go figure. Some People lie, cheat, steal, others don't, it's not always easy to tell the difference. I thought I was a pretty good judge or chrctr, boy .... with this guy - I was WAY off! Wow.
So I say, live, learn, re-evaluate and move on! | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 1/11/2007 10:18:33 PM | I have read all of the stuff men say about women not looking like their photos, that is why I took a new pic the day I joined up, but one guy I talked to for a while, I want to find out if he is on the same page as I, no sense in me wasting time with a guy that is a hunter, or likes to go to truck pulls or drinks to excess, handles his finances well, (I am not looking to support anyone) and isnt mean spirited or rude. So then when we meet, he is tall, horribly thin (like an aids victom), balding with a bad comb over, and is a total liar and mean. I dont tough out the date, I dont go, I just turn around and leave, block the id and move on. Why do you women even go on the date? Get some marbles!! They wont change bad behavior if there is no difference when they are honest or dishonest... be honest yourself, going on with the date when there is not a chance is wasting their time, money, your time and money (it is your time, give it some value) and move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea... | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 1/11/2007 11:00:25 PM | Betterlate...For the life of me I can not find the word VICTOM in spell check...however, with that said, I can say that I have been a "Victim" like many other women and men on various sites. My question to you is this: If you practice what you are preach here, then WHY did you GO OUT WITH HIM?  | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 1/12/2007 5:18:20 AM | I'm sure it's tough to weed out the freaks & flakes.....but as in all walks of life, "if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is!"
If a guy or gal is very good looking, healthy, financially & emotionally stable w/ a great personality....then they are NOT going to have much trouble finding dates in the real world.
Yes, the definition of 'very good looking' is going to vary depending on the viewer....but if the person in the photo is MUCH better looking than the type who usually asks you out, there's probably a very good reason why he's dateless.
The only exceptions I can think of to this are an EXTREMELY insular job where they don't get to meet many new people OR living in a very small town/remote location.
If he talks about sex AT ALL before your first kiss...then it's a VERY good indicator that he can't get any in RL & is hoping to sleep w/ you before you find out why nobody else wants to either.
Judging from the forums & various profiles...it's painfully obvious that many are simply just not ready for a healthy relationship, no matter how much they may crave one.
That said...there are also some really kind & wonderful people on here! | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:13:14 AM |
Yea Ive met a few men like that as well. unbelieveable how they can be so different in person then they actually are in their profiles or portray them selves to be. its a shame. Why lie about what you look like or how your built , your likes dislikes etc... I guess that after they do their best to convince us that they are this terrific, sexy, careing, good personallity man etc.. that it wont matter once they finially meet us in person. its Sad, and such a waste of time.
But in all fairness I have men a few men who also are every bit of the person they portray on their profiles and and there were a couple who were actually better then their profile. so it works both ways. it may be shallow to most but I ask now " do you have a cam" that way there is no wondering.
Ok I may get some words said back to me for this, but frankly and rather candidly I must say that the fault lies not altogether on the other person whome YOU thought would look a certain way upon meeting them, but it mostly lies with you the person having these expectations before you truly get to know the person in detail and again, it is who that person is inside that determines the value of them. You cannot judge a person's worth by their outside appearance, that leads to disappointment and is really to be avoided.
I am talking only as it relates to appearance, not their other aspects like attitude and so forth, thats another story. But with looks, the truth is ,that you are the primary person at fault because you put a certain image in your mind and more times then not you expect very high quality physical appearance, and expect people to look model like or else a knock out, and the fact is that is just not how reality is. We all have our flaws and no body has the "perfect look" or body. The fact is atleast they had a photo of themselves, the fact that some people take issue with the age of the photot or the person "not looking like they thought they would" once meeting is not that person fault (unless offcourse they deliberately put a fake pic up or something of that nature).
So I think that people should examine their priorities more rather then being critical of someone over things like looks and their photos.
OP, this is not TOTALLY directed to you but more of a general comment about peoples false expectations that they often have about what others "should" be like. | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 1/12/2007 9:18:05 AM | I hope the woman who started this thread is damn well worth it in real life... becaue you know.. there are just as many men whom have had the same experience.
Its the way it is with online dating. You never know for sure until you meet. | |
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naddia
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 60 | |
| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 5/25/2009 11:44:06 PM | | the worst is when they tell you they want a hook up and yopu tell thwm no thanks and they start sending you stuff about how your missing out on the best thing that was evergoing to happen to you | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 5/26/2009 4:36:24 AM | Unfortunately you can't stop people lying whether its real life or the net. Most people take others at face value and are naturally trusting....some are not trustworthy. Unless you do a background or criminal check noone really knows who there dealing with over the net. You just have to go with your level gut instincts.
Maybe the guy was a Sociopath? I recently met one online and my instincts screamed that there was something not quite right about him....turned out I was right. Found out of an ex partner he was medically diagnosed 5 years ago as one.
Trouble is these people think there perfectly sane and don't realise there's anything wrong with them. Pretty sad people really.
Go with your gut instincts every time. If something appears too good to be true it the majority of the time it usually is. | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 5/26/2009 8:03:30 AM | Online dating--enter at your own risk.
Oh, well, nobody's perfect...I'm sure YOU'RE not perfect either, OP. But, I get it, you want a guy who's confident, charming and funny, not brooding and reeking of beer and insecurity. | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 5/26/2009 8:48:55 PM | Well yeah most guys I've met have looked worse in real life than in their pictures, but not drastically.
What I hated was a first date with a guy where he suddenly turned manic depressive, cried, and told me how he planned to hire a prostitute as soon as he finished his military tour and go out in the desert to commit suicide.
I guess he was reeeally lonely, but still, that's a lot to unload on someone the very first time you meet them. | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 5/26/2009 9:40:19 PM | Even someone who is completely hot physically can go drastically downhill when they open their mouth, lol.
I guess that's why I like my pic...I'm tired and have no makeup on. But I'm happy and doing what I love to do (riding). If you still want to message me, then we are doing well. I'm not going to get some Glamour Shots of me in a dress and made up...that's not who a guy is going to meet (although I do clean up alright, hehehe.)
I agree with meeting in person, and then giving it some time if you like them. Phone is better than online, but still meet before you get too into them. I've met too many people that are one way online than they are in person (I'm not talking about being nervy...I am more confident online, too.) I mean like a totally different personality. And I don't trust anyone from just a little while...I'm definatly getting to know someone before I give away my heart again. Especially someone who says "trust me," lol. I dated a man who would say the most romantic, flowery things to me in email...turns out they were all lines from songs or movies! Holy hell...he had no real personality of his own at all, turns out. Say-O-Nara.
"Go with your gut instincts every time. If something appears too good to be true it the majority of the time it usually is." Angelfyre you hit the nail on the head. | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 5/26/2009 10:16:48 PM | | People just need to be realistic about what they're looking for... ask yourself why would a person that looks like a 10 be on POF when they could just as easily meet people in their day to day lives? I'm not saying only ugly people are on here lots of people have lots of different reasons to be on POF some are just here when they're drink, some just like to have their ego boosted by the number of interested suiters they get. I find that for woman you always have to be weary of the top down shot and if you have a big nose every pic looks like a mug shot head on. Also the ones that show a little too much skin... you're partner should be interested in your personalty... physical attraction is just the introduction it's not what keeps the relationship going. | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 5/26/2009 10:31:22 PM | I have had a few bad ones from a competing dating site. One stands out in my memory, she described herself as an avid hiker and outdoor type. Her build was described as athletic.
We did the email - telephone - meeting thing, and I didn't recognize her as she was about 70 pounds heavier than described. I couldn't understand why someone would lie so blatantly about things that would be so apparent on meeting. Especially when their profile professed a desire for honesty..... again and again.
I developed a couple of theories:
1) They figure that if a man is a good guy, he'll have the good grace to overlook his marked decrease in gas mileage while she's in the vehicle. She figures that the man will be "trapped" by his good manners and give him a chance to wow him with her personality. The dating site simply allows her to get her foot in the door where her appearance prevents initial contact in person.
2) She believed her daddy when he told her that she was the most beautiful girl in the world and figures that any man who rejects her appearance is a shallow ass. She thinks that she is entitled to be seen as she sees herself.
After this happened to me a couple of times I decided that I was going to call the next one on it. Instead, I got two desperate nympho crazies in a row I just dropped off the site. | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 5/26/2009 10:43:56 PM | I too have had one experience with this, she was a very nice lady but a little to old for me. She stated she looked younger than her age and that her picture was very recent that was not the case when I met her in person however she was very sane and witty.
I wished she would have been ten years younger we would have made a good couple but it wasnt meant to be hopefully I can find someone like her here closer to my age. | |
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| hot guy when met in real life was anything but sexy
Posted: 5/26/2009 11:29:56 PM | | Ya know, sometimes things like that happen. Maybe they are over weight, but can hike better than most skinny people. Who knows.. But I do know that if a person writes 'average' down for body size and shows up more over weight than average (which in America IS overweight) I am not gonna freak. I will give personality a chance. But if there is a looming odor, a crappy attitude & that is the silver lining, I am sooooooooooo outta there.. | |
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