Leece
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Joined: 10/9/2005
Msg: 51 | |
| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 7/26/2006 4:56:00 AM | | I'm extremely close to my boys father even though we have been split up for the last 5 years. It took a bit of work and patience on both sides but we had the joint responsibility of our children so there was a very good reason to work at it. We're very good friends now which we never were when we were in a relationship and that's probably the reason the relationship didn't work for us in the first place. And if you can't be friends in a relationship after 13 years together then there isn't a lot of hope for the longterm. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 7/26/2006 4:39:19 PM | | You can remain friends with an ex, no problem..As long as you dont have any false pretence thats wot it is.friendship?..But if one still has feelings for that ex??..No way, never will work...Only prelongs the agony, I think...Depends on the circumstances?? | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 7/26/2006 4:48:07 PM | | Messege 34..Yes know wot your about..Even though it was my ex that split with me..I knew him since school, he said we couldent remain friends, coz i still had feelings for him..Know wot he was proberbly right, but now 2 yrs later, and well over him..I still think we could have remained mates..Coz end of day?? I just dident lose a partner??.I lost my best friend to. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 7/26/2006 8:24:16 PM | | i've never been able to. i think it's because one or the other did not want to break up....still had feelings. and you just can't be friends with those feelings floating out there. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 3/20/2007 6:13:15 PM | | I've been lucky enough to have close relationships with three girls (and a few others not so close lOL) and though they're all happily settled with other guys I'm glad to say all three are still close friends. There's no secret to it, there's sadness in the parting but if you really care someone then you're happy they've found the happiness that maybe they couldn't have had with you. And then you look again for your own happiness, knowing they will be happy for you when you find it. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 3/21/2007 6:35:37 AM | There are dozens I dont still speak to and a few I do.
One of which I got flirty with the other night strangly enough. But we're good friends now, have seen all the bits we wouldnt let others see and been through alot together that others would have run from.
So as far as I'm concerned there's no one else in the world I can be more relaxed with.
Obviously at first things were awkward and with the healing process post relationship I had to take a few months out from speaking to them or seeing them at all but now, we're really good mates. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 3/21/2007 7:12:23 AM | Nope can't stand my ex, think he is a complete waste of space, i tolrate him when he shows up to see the kids, but the minute he's gone and the kids are in bed and asleep i'm on the phone to my sister or mum telling her all about the bull that he's being saying and the amount of excuses I get for him not making more of an effort with his children.
Although I will say I am envious of others who still have fairly good relationship with there ex. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 3/21/2007 12:01:13 PM | | Ive been friends with my daughter's dad for 17 years. It wasnt always that way. For the first few months after we split up things were extremely tense but over time we sorted things out and we are now the best of friends. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 4/22/2007 2:18:38 AM | Personally I cant stay friends with an ex as undoubtably I either want to bash them about the head with a blunt instrument or either of us still fancies the other.
so in my opinion no I couldnt remain friends with an ex | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 4/22/2007 2:22:29 AM | i like to think im friends with all my exs...i see them all the time..i talk to them...and i always know where they are going and doing etc...
well thats until they get the restraining order on me again. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 4/22/2007 4:42:57 AM | Well a while back i thought not. But, now i think yes. Someone i went out with for some time, is still in the wings. His family have a connection with my son (they are godparents), so can't shut the family out.
Yes there is the usual cracking of jokes, and flirtatious mannerisms still there (well on his behalf anyway!!), but i take it with a pinch of salt. That's how he is, and i don't feel anything other for him than he's a good friend.
He's really the only X i have contact with, on a regular basis. Apart from the kids fathers. But, i don't tell them anything of my life, and i don't pry in theirs. I tend to mid my own business, get on with my life. Anything concerning the kids, then its addressed. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 4/22/2007 7:11:53 AM | This is a toughie.
I am friends with 1 ex, we have been apart for a few years but it is hard to cut off from someone that you shared so much with. It was a joint decision to split and completely amicable, turns out we were just not meant for each other. We are better as friends then we ever were as a couple so I see no problems in having him as a friend. I hope any future partner would see that I am with them for a reason and not get insecure.
As long as one party does not want more than the the other party, it should be all good. I dated a guy for a while, then realised it was not right, so tried to be friends but he always wanted more and that made me feel uncomfortable so I had to cut the friendship.
If one has stronger feelings than just friendship though, maybe time to cut all ties.
Sometimes things just do not work out and people have to move on, no point having one way feelings. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:30:24 AM | I don't see the point in staying friends with an ex, even if we had 10 kids to them !!
What's the point ?? We can be friendly, but I certainly wouldn't want to be friends after a split.
To stay friends is only putting other potential relationships at risk, and its not putting proper closure on the past.
I prefer to accept its over, grieve, stay emotionally distant, and move on. | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 4/22/2007 9:36:41 AM | | i agree with msg 69......people split up for whatever reason..but i would say the majority cannot remain friends.......i think the only two exceptions are for the childrens sake or if both are mature adults about the break which is rare. | |
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Wooyay
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 71 | |
| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 4/22/2007 10:22:15 AM | I stay friends with my ex's. I was in a relationship for 8 years to a man I still like and respect lots. I went to his bbq at the weekend and he and his wife asked me to be godmother to their son. Am very flattered and honoured, it's a big compliment to be asked by anyone to be their godmother.
I can't see the point in not being amicable after a split. The person who you fell for still has the qualities that you found attractive in them. Just because you're not able to make a relationship work with that person doesn't meant that you don't still find things about them likable surely?
Perhaps I'm just lucky. My divorce was also amicable. The only ex I've not stayed friends with was after an almost three year relationship which ended on a thoroughly sour note. Mostly because I fell for the brawn, failed to note the lack of brain. This I think was due to incredible chemistry based mostly on lust rather than mutual respect and I also failed to see his psychotic streak despite almost constant warnings from friends and family that he 'wasn't quite right in the head'. Shame - but no loss. I've learned the lessons and moved on.
Very glad I'm still friends with my other ex's though, they're fab men :) | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 4/22/2007 11:00:26 AM | | yes they can i am friends with all my exs except the one i married, that being he made vows to me for life , and didnt stick to them he was a dog! i even have have one of my ex fiances living with me has a lodger(no funny business either) i think it depends who why what happened in the relationship to corse it to finish | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 9/25/2007 8:50:56 AM | Yes - I share the house with my ex-hubby, we're great friends although we do occaisionally get on each others nerves I'm also great friends with a couple of other ex's , and there are, of course, a couple i'd never want to set eyes on again:  | |
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| can people really remain platonic friends with x's
Posted: 9/25/2007 2:24:06 PM | | Yes you can...my ex husband and I are still very good friends and often meet up for drink on our wedding aniversary and respective birthdays and he is always at my house for boxing day dinner with the children and grandchildren in tow as well.....we were best mates before we married and have being lucky enough to keep that going after we got divorced, in fact he is on this site lol and got me to do his profile for him lol......and my eldest daughters dad and i are still greatmates as well even though we split 20 years ago and i go and have drin k with his new wife now and again as well lol, like one big family....think it very important espcecially when you have children together to stay friends if possible, makes sorting out issues so much easier as you can do it over a drink in the pub :) | |
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