| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/25/2007 4:58:27 PM | marmeeeeeget
If you are a virgin or widow who didnt "know" these guys, i should apologize, but in the future u should mention the fact that there was no hanky panky - i never failed to mention that when i had a roomate for a while - and if you are ashamed of virginity or chastity - then i shouldn't apologize. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/25/2007 5:56:21 PM |  Where did I say that I didn't know them? I said it was a stupid thing to do...not because I didn't know them or trust them, but because I was far too young to be playing house. ;) And where did all this virginity/chastity talk spew from?
You're talking out of your ass, for some reason--singling me out for a post I made..I don't know why..but um...yeah, you can stop now. Thnx. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/25/2007 6:22:45 PM | | You don't know someone until you live with them; whether it be friend or lover. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/25/2007 7:15:19 PM |
Without the marriage contract, if someone dies "intestate" while cohabitating... their partner is potentially "SOL"
I don't think one lives with someone they love with hope oh inheriting. I certainly didn't. Among other things, there was zip to inherit, lol! But it is one helluva lot of work cleaning up after a life well lived. . . .
. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/25/2007 7:33:58 PM | EligibleRespelled,
are you a virgin? Your profile doesn't say 'widowed' or 'divorced' so are we to assume you are virgin? | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/25/2007 7:43:30 PM | The divorce rate is higher among those who cohabit so I personally choose not to cohabit prior to marriage. I also think that having legal protections and inheritance rights are important before living together, thus marriage is the way to go. I am not a religious person but that's how I see it. What others do isn't any of my business though.
Eligible Respelled is something else altogether. I feel pity for the poor woman who ends up marrying him!! His views are judgemental to say the least. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/25/2007 7:57:23 PM | Cohabitation is just like being married, without the legal quagmire and/or protection, whichever way you want to look at it. Let's face it. Our whole society is so outdated on this issue, that I don't see either as being a solution.
Now, community living, there's a concept that could really benefit people - but, it doesn't solve this problem of the soulmate, or live-in sexual partner search, that most people seem to be on.
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/25/2007 8:15:26 PM | | From my viewpoint, I would never marry a woman I hadn't lived with first, but by the same token, I wouldn't live with a woman that I didn't at least have intentions of making it more permanent down the road. Its not a question of testing the waters or seeing if we can get along. Moving in together is a very significant commitment as far as I'm concerned, and I see it as a logical step on the way to getting married, eventually. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/30/2007 8:50:42 AM | An advantage for women who cohabitate rather than marry:
Married men do less housework than live-in boyfriends, finds an international survey.
But married women do more housework than their live-in counterparts.
“Marriage as an institution seems to have a traditionalizing effect on couples—even couples who see men and women as equal,” said co-researcher Shannon Davis, a sociologist at George Mason University in Virginia. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/30/2007 9:49:20 AM | I have to re-iterate that I believe in marriage (for myself), which is why I accepted my s/o's proposal last week. Now having said that, the wedding is not until next summer, but we will begin living together in March already.
We both believe that marriage is a sign of respect for the other (why would I want to end up buried next to him someday, with my ex-husband's name adorning the tombstone???) as well as a sign of our true commitment to the relationship and to eachother.
We know that this is not the way to go for a lot of people nowadays, and that is fine also, but marriage is something the both of us believe in, therefore it was a natural progression in our relationship.
*C* | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/30/2007 10:42:10 AM | | Personally, not really bothered. This is deffinately something to think about though. I wouldn't call it trial marriage though, I would call it life! | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/30/2007 2:01:51 PM | I read an interesting article in Psych Today that talks about the benefits of living together before marrying and why more cohabitors turned married couples end in divorce.
The study found that because we have different standards for living partners than for life partners, we may end up married to someone we never would have originally considered for the long haul. People are much fussier about whom they marry than whom they cohabitate with and that a lot of people cohabit because it seems like a good idea to share expenses and have some security and companionship, without a lot of commitment.
Interesting article: http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-20050614-000001&page=2 | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/30/2007 2:54:03 PM | Having been married five times I would say that more important than the state acceptance is committment. If a couple are committed to each other and do not want anyone else, I would say they have the perfect relationship. If they are committed to the relationship they will work at it and work together to make it work. Anything or anyone worthwhile requires effort. It depends on the morality of the person and what they believe, not on if they are married or not. I agree that "if you want acceptance, have the marriage service without the state being involved". OR you could just tell those who ask that you are married. It's not really their business and if they ask questions---ask why they need to know!!!
It does present a problem as far as owning homes, cars or other expenses but both names should be on the deed if both buy it. If one owns and the other doesn't, than they should pay "rent" as if they were renting a house. If they are paying rent on a place they want to keep , then some compensation should be made for the added expense to the home owner. Maybe they could pay the utilities . If a couple truly care about each other they will work it out. Neither one should be made to feel insecure in the agreement. They are together because they want to be. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/30/2007 2:56:40 PM | I admit I am jaded.....burn me once, shame on you, burn me twice shame on me. Marriage is nothing but a form of slavery for women: Cook, shop, clean, iron, do all the laundry, take care of the kids, be "available" whenever he wants you to be, plan all major events, such as Christmas , Thanksgiving, etc. Work full time so you can contribute to the household, AND if you are really lucky you can help with the yardwork in your "free time"...... like you have that!  | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/31/2007 3:15:04 PM |
Where did I say that I didn't know them? I said it was a stupid thing to do...not because I didn't know them or trust them, but because I was far too young to be playing house. ;) And where did all this virginity/chastity talk spew from?
You're talking out of your ass, for some reason--singling me out for a post I made..I don't know why..but um...yeah, you can stop now. Thnx
It isn't picking on someone who sounds as though they are open to learning lessons the hard way, to try to teach them one the easy way, i.e., the easy way being: listening to the creator's spokesmen, the prophets, instead of saying leave me alone, i'd rather learn the hard way always. Be informed: the master has absolutely no reason to bless adulterous affairs with happiness and if you don't marry the man who deflowers you it will be adultery unless he died since your last encounter with a man (only possible exception being abandonment by an unbeliever but the idea that this comment of the apostle paul had anything to do with remarriage is way dubious and thereflre to act on it is surely damnable). | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/31/2007 5:27:03 PM | | I've been divorced three years after being married for twenty. I like my independence, but miss coming home to someone. I would like to remarry eventually, but will probably feel more comfortable living with him first. I already have kids and most men my age are done raising theirs too, so there's no urgency to marry from that perspective. But ultimately, marriage is a romantic gesture that seems to make a bond more permanent in intent, even if not in reality. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/31/2007 6:09:41 PM | The best things in life are free, unless of course they are contracted wherupon the attorney can get involved etc.
So what does someone who writes contracts have to do with a commitment. not alot unless you want it to.
Marriage : better for the insecure (and attorneys)
Cohabitation: for those free of spirit
and for most of us in between: perhaps a civil agreement.
Finally:
love , like its for the first time, dance like no one is watching and drink Canada Dry! (all of it!) | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/31/2007 6:34:13 PM |
Where did I say that I didn't know them? I said it was a stupid thing to do...not because I didn't know them or trust them, but because I was far too young to be playing house. ;) And where did all this virginity/chastity talk spew from?
You're talking out of your ass, for some reason--singling me out for a post I made..I don't know why..but um...yeah, you can stop now. Thnx
It isn't picking on someone who sounds as though they are open to learning lessons the hard way, to try to teach them one the easy way, i.e., the easy way being: listening to the creator's spokesmen, the prophets, instead of saying leave me alone, i'd rather learn the hard way always. Be informed: the master has absolutely no reason to bless adulterous affairs with happiness and if you don't marry the man who deflowers you it will be adultery unless he died since your last encounter with a man or you are a widow who qualified to be married according to the above rule or if widowed several times over there at least was no copulation between widowhood and any of the marriages (only possible exception being abandonment by an unbeliever but the idea that this comment of the apostle paul's had anything to do with remarriage is way dubious and therefore to act on it is surely damnable). | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/31/2007 7:38:37 PM | Well said Jane,
Yes marriage brings the feeling of security / to insecure/, but now days getting divorce is so easy, it is only that- feeling.
If you are in love and committed to each other why on the earth you need piece of paper telling you that.
As for inheritance rights I really, really hope no one wants to marry me for that or they may end up going first.
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 8/31/2007 8:12:05 PM | Cohabitation: All the disadvantages of marriage without any of the benefits. For the woman: More cooking, cleaning, picking up, loss of romance (he has you sewed up so no more effort). If you were just dating, he'd show up on Friday night, showered, shaved, bunch of flowers, out to dinner. In other words, he'd make an effort to keep you. He gets ratty or down in the dumps, you send him home and shut the front door. Live with him, you are at a great disadvantage.
If he loved you, he'd marry you. And financially, it's a disaster. Seems like you save on rent BUT: You buy stuff together, have a lease, a mortgage--you have no legal protection when things go south. Fuggedaboutit. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 9/1/2007 2:35:33 AM | AGAIN I ASK:
EligibleRespelled,
are you a virgin? Your profile doesn't say 'widowed' or 'divorced' so are we to assume you are virgin? | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 9/1/2007 3:49:25 AM | Todays culture/society is one of throwaway or disposable mentality. This includes everything from razor blades to relationships. And when maxims such as, why buy the cow when the milk is free or, never test drive a vehicle before buying it are the norm to express ones thoughts regarding relationships, there should be no wonder nor surprise why divorce is the norm rarther then the exception. Reducing the sanctity of marriage to consumer maxims is a strong sign that something has gone askew in our society.
We want everything quickly, cheaply and without blemish. And as soon as one of these igredients are no longer part of the product we get rid of it for something that is smoother, brighter and sweeter sounding.
Society today places much value and emphasis on immeadiate self gratification, sex, and physical beauty and wealth while giving little value to patience, servitude, the placing of others before one self and spiritual beauty and wealth.
IMO marriage is the only way to go. In fact, I'll go one step further and would like to think, though can't promise this, that the next time I sleep with someone will be on my wedding day and not before. In other words no test drive. Just some kicking of the tires and possible checking under the hood. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 9/1/2007 7:53:50 AM |
AGAIN I ASK:
EligibleRespelled,
are you a virgin? Your profile doesn't say 'widowed' or 'divorced' so are we to assume you are virgin?
I wasn't aware you had asked - what was that post #?
I asked my master after searching for a wife for many years if he couldn't give me a wife then give me a sister and just a few weeks later I was asked to call the woman that I commited myself to care for as a member of my household till death and 1 year later she became eligable so at the age of 50 I married and lost my virginity and after 3 months she put me away. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 9/1/2007 8:29:29 AM | Eligible,
I can't decipher everything you said above.
From what I can gather: you kept your virginity until you married at 50 (hopefully not to "a sister") and after 3 months of marriage your wife left you?
Your profile doesn't indicate that you have married before. It should read either married, divorced, separated, or widowed. Someone paraphrasing the bible like you do should be honest in their profile, at least that's my opinion.
BTW, I too do not believe in cohabitation, but not for the same reasons as you, I'm quite sure.
PS: MSG #81 was the first time I asked. | |
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| Cohabitation vs. Marriage
Posted: 9/1/2007 8:46:17 AM |
Your profile doesn't indicate that you have married before. It should read either married, divorced, separated, or widowed. Someone paraphrasing the bible like you do should be honest in their profile, at least that's my opinion.
A foolish man will make accusations out of ignorance without even bothering to gather information. In my opinion you ought to wise up.
Divorce does not exist in this age.
This site does not provide for someone who has been put away to answer that question and have a profile for some reason, which is persecution, and truthfulness is not always prescribed in the scriptures for the dishonorable - consider for example, the prophet davids scrabbling on the wall and letting spittle fall into his beard, pretending to be crazy so the philistines who had found out that he had killed 10,000s of them would release him - that was misrepresentation and fraud toward them. I suppose you'll say that i should just give up trying to find anybody instead of what i had to do to join. And yes, we can't skip that question on the profile.
grow up! | |
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