| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/20/2006 11:29:32 PM | ^^Thanks Elizabeth:)It just seems to me like it would be a good way to be supportive and encouraging ,while bringing up the issue without hurting her feelings | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/21/2006 12:13:26 AM | "she puts on her make-up...and brushes her long blonde hair....and then she'll ask me...do i look allright...?....and i'll say...yes...........you look wonderful tonight"..........
^^ he kinda makes it sound easy doesn't he....? | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/21/2006 6:40:24 AM | From my perspective, if a guy makes me feel loved and pays me compliments, i have no
urge to keep mentioning how much weight ive put on..
We all have fat feel days, its something to do with the hormones.
but for a guy to say ur georgeous the way u r, is all we need to put a smile on our face and the doubt at the back of our mind, and if we r truelly happy with the relationship, we find we try to do a little something about the extra pounds, its the person on the inside thats important, the wrapping ends up the way u want it to look..... | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/21/2006 6:47:03 AM | Digging for complements
You can do that? 
I don't think I have to dig. If its not heart felt, and on their own. I don't want it, they can keep it. | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/21/2006 6:57:01 AM | | maybe she knows she is fat, and says so because it would hurt less hearing it from herself than to have you tell her. And she knows you won't tell her since she brought it up. | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/21/2006 6:58:45 AM | I must be the flip side of it then. He said the other day. I can tell your loseing weight, and I said I can't. He said yea you are, and I said o.k. I will take your word at it. But in truth I didn't belive him.
I didn't ask, he just said it when I sat down in the chair one day. | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:04:26 AM | | Try turning the tables. Is her incessant whining about her weight (or self-perception) bugging you? Start asking her day after day.. is my nose to big? or am i too hairy? or does this third arm make me look like a freak? she'll get the point. You are beautiful in her eyes, and it wil frustrate her to think you feel less than that.. Perfect grounds for you to point out no one is perfect, everyone has something they would liek to change about themselves, but you are fine with how she looks and love her unconditionally. | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:10:57 AM | | Lady bugg, who could ever compete with Slow Hand? OP I would find some physical activities to do together. Hiking, biking, swimming, anything physical. I she gets into it then you could carefully bring up going to the gym together to enhance your new recreational pastime. She'll lose some weight and feel a whole lot better about herself and that will transfer into the bedroom as well. Sweating together is a heck of an aphrodisiac. | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/25/2006 11:19:00 PM | Maybe it isn't compliments she's looking for, as much as the reassurance that you aren't repulsed by her...especially if it is a new relationship....
Hmm, how about telling her it doesn't matter what she looks like, it's what she feels like inside that matter most
This answer would give her the reassurance she needs to feel comfortable in the relationship, which would be a win-win situation for you.
If this is coming from someone you've been with for awhile, I don't know what her problem is....insecurity shouldn't follow a person all their life!
~DC~ | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/25/2006 11:29:56 PM | This is a question to avoid. Period. Do not answer. In fact, throw it back at her. Ask why she's asking you a trick, no-win, any answer is bad type question.
I can't stand people who ask those types of questions. | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/26/2006 10:10:33 AM | U don't tell a woman she's NOT fat... if she's fat!
Cuz we know we are!!!!!
If you find her sexy.... let her know... if you don't then... Dayum it sux to be u! | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/26/2006 12:17:21 PM | Hmmm..
When I'm asked this question, I usually get out of it by faking some kind of episode or injury. Go into a fake epileptic fit and she'll ususally forget that she asked you about being fat. Then, when you figure she's forgotten, just go back to being normal and say something like "Wow! That epileptic fit was weird, huh?"
You've got to be careful with this strategy though. Once I was iceskating with my girlfriend and she asked me if I thought she was fat. I wasn't prepared for the question, and I immediately faked a snakebite. "What the hell are you talking about" she said, "there are no snakes here!" I didn't know how to respond, so I called her a godd*mmed liar and hit her in the face with a snow ball. Things went down hill from there, but she did forget she had asked the question.
The point is, make sure your fake attack or injury is plausable before you use it. Think these things out in advance and be ready for this question when it comes... | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/26/2006 12:23:25 PM | | While the above tactic sounds amusing, I much prefer to call people on the stupid (in this case, somewhat rotten) things they ask. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 41 | |
| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/26/2006 12:24:37 PM | | OP, if you think she is beautiful tell her you think so. As to why she keeps asking you...thats because she has low self esteem, and needs constant reassurance, and until she works it out for herself she will continually be asking you that question. Self confident women will not ask that question. They know they are fat/thin/curvy/athletic and they know you think they are sexy and beautiful because you are with them in the first place. | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/26/2006 12:46:17 PM | My wife is not merely fat, she's obese(>300 lbs). This has to do with her being a multiple.
One of the things I learned from her early on was that because her weight bothers her it *must* bother others, thereby making her unlovable.
She has even said she doesn't understand HOW it is that I love her.
Maybe this is the problem. After all, women/girls with wasp waists are adorning the pages of every fashion magazine there is, and quite a few "women's magazines" too.
*Before anyone asks, ever been in a doctors office for HOURS waiting to see them because an emergency interupted things? After a while I'll read anything.* | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/26/2006 1:18:38 PM | Chic: "Does this make me look fat?"
Doggie: "No. But, your ass does."
Honesty is always the best policy. Best to smile when saying it and be prepared
to administer oral apology, though.
 moo | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/27/2006 8:29:09 AM | Honesty is always the best policy.
Dog,
I'd have to add a caveat to that.
Honesty is the best policy as long as you are able to get out of the line-of-fire after stating it.
Before admiting to a woman that she is pushing maximum density, make sure you have a lot of distance between you to allow for your escape, and/or some sturdy object with which to deflect the blows that are sure to follow should she catch you.
Needless to say, honesty is most assuredly NOT the best policy if she happens to be holding some type of potentially deadly weapon (ice pick, butcher knife, etc). This is assuming that by "best policy" you mean one that results in your survival and good health. | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/27/2006 8:44:35 AM | | This is usually a loaded question. Tell her you that she is beautiful, give a big hug and a deep passionate kiss. Then ask her what is really bothering her. | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/27/2006 9:44:20 AM | | I'm telling you people.. seriously.. don't give into the manipulative question. | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/27/2006 2:35:19 PM | Hmmmm but wouldn't it get old that this gal... who obviously knows she's carrying some extra weight........ always throwing that out there?
I know I'm a plus sized gal... so I am NOT gonna go around asking... if I'm fat!
If someone kept saying that to me... I'd say... if it bothers you then do something about it! 
I did have a guy ask me if he was fat..... and I didn't think he was at all.... he had everything in the right place... and a cute lil hiney ta boot! Hmmm guess he was fishing! | |
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| Digging for complements
Posted: 2/27/2006 3:08:00 PM | | It's too late now......but next girlfriend --- the first time she asks, tell her that you are dating her tells her something about how you view her AND you have a personal rule not to respond to these types of questions; mention that she is stronger, better person then to be this insecure fishing for compliments. Tell her how much you respect confidence in a woman. Leave it at that and then when she keeps doing it, well, how you react will say something about you as well. | |
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