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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:27:05 PM | if you have brought up ur concerns.. and he has done nothing to ease ur mind.. hes just not that interested.
simple.
simple.
simple.
you are beautiful.. dont waste ur time anymore.. find someone else.. that is concerned with how you are feeling.. about any subject. If he was into you.. he would do as much as he can.. to put those concerns to rest.. and as fast as he can. | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:28:47 PM | @cheekychica:
thanks doll! points well taken and kind compliments received. ditto to you on the "amazing beautiful person"!
as for:
stop wasting ur time.. and find a man that is interested in you. i'm not sure that looking for that isn't just a big waste of time altogether. starting to give serious consideration to just batting for the other side! lol | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:29:51 PM | | in my opinion you shouldn't jump to conclusions..only leaves room for drama. You have stated how you feel about it and to say more about it would be nagging him. How long have you been seeing him? Also since you haven't been intimate with him i really wouldn't worry about it. Go with the flow and keep your standards. Date him as if he were dating others. If you keep your composure and enjoy time spent with him as if it were the last time then you will shine. Expect nothing and you will never be disappointed....hope this helps | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/21/2006 7:35:38 PM | heh shucks.. thanks bandito :)
heh battin for the other side.. heh.. giggles.
dont worry about lookin.. get happy with you.. its amazing when we are truely content with ourselves.. the vibe we set off. I bet.. one day.. in the not so far future.. you'll be out.. lookin like ur hot self.. feelin like a million bucks.. chillin with ur girls.. wondering around a book store (or what ever other activities you enjoy doing) thinkin in ur head.. wow.. its a great day. I love my life.. and bingo bango.. This really hot guy with the best jeans on.. totally standing beside you.. will pull a book off a shelf.. it'll hit you in the head.. he'll apologize profusely.. get one look at who you are.. Cause when we feel awsome about ourselves.. so much shows.. even without verbals.. and that will be that. He'll have found you.. and life will be grand. :)
advice. always stay true to what you KNOW to be true. | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/22/2006 4:44:53 AM | @zgirlbeautiful:
thanks zgirl....good words of wisdom and after a lot of deliberation, pretty close to what i'm thinking too. thanks for writing. | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/22/2006 4:49:01 AM | @cheekychica:
Fawk, I sound like a bloody self help book. HA
GOOD STUFF.
girl, you crack me up! lmao! if you're a self help book, you're one of the most amusing ones i've read. and wouldn't it be comically ironic if the hot guy in the jeans at the book store actually dropped YOU on my head?  | |
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7times
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Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 35 | |
| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/22/2006 4:50:46 AM | mindinflight.
I haven't continued reading every response but wanted to get back with what I was saying..
you are correct, I meant that sometimes showing it by updating your profile or making comments doesn't mean you are exclusive unless it has been decided by having a talk about it and making that commitment..
Now do I think he should've gotten the point of what your intentions are? Hell yes for you have mentioned them and he isn't paying attention.. My gut and first instinct would think he just wants to have you in the sack but he might also just be a bit slow in understanding and needs it layed out step by step...
Either way, unless you are prepared for sleeping with him and not having a commitment returned by him I wouldn't do it, not until you know where he stands with the exclusive part | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/22/2006 6:07:41 AM | @7times:
gotcha...thanks for clearing that up for me. and at this point in my life, no, i'm not ready for sex without substance. so that won't be going anywhere anytime too soon. | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/25/2006 4:03:10 AM | ***UPDATE***
thanks everybody for putting your 2 cents worth in. your opinions were very much appreciated.
while i DO have a great time with this guy, obviously there are a lot of red flags, especially surrounding issues like honesty, commitment and priorities, etc. so, after a great deal of consideration, i've decided that i think we moved much too fast into things. i was honest with him about posting this forum...linked him to it so he could read the thread and all responses himself. i also told him that i thought we'd moved too fast and that i didn't think he should bother changing his profile after all and that i was changing mine back to "looking". funny how fast he changed his profile after hearing that. regardless, i told him i stood by what i said. i changed mine back anyway. i told him that if he still wanted to date and get to know each other better, it would be back to square one. meeting in public...no private, compromising, tempting venues... and that it would be very slow and casual. NOT exclusive either for now. from all the things he's been showing me, i think a casual good time (and by that i do NOT mean sexually casual good time...lol) is probably all that's in the cards for us. our opinions of what should be important in making a relationship work seem to be too greatly differing. in the end, i'm a decent and fair person, willing to give people a chance...even a second chance most times. but i'm deserving of happiness too and refuse to find myself trapped in a situation that makes me feel miserable. been down that road too many times. lessons learned. it's onward and upward from here.
ok, that's my update. thanks again guys and dolls!  | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/25/2006 6:12:26 AM | | mindinflight...you make me very proud of you...you are a wonderful person and deserve to be with someone that you are meant to be with..congratulations for keeping a positive attitude. | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/25/2006 6:27:10 AM | mind.........
Let me tell you my experience.
I met a young lady on here and we both actually kept our profiles.
WHY?
Well i had made several friends and definately wanted to keep in touch.
Also, as bad is this may sound, I DID want a bcak up plan.
Let me explain, Prior to this I have been with the same woman for 12 years or so. When we split up( a year and a half ago) it was VERY difficult for me to learn to conversate with women. Even MORE difficult for me to ask any out.
I certainly didnt want to put myself in that situation again.
Now back to the results of the gf I had from POF.
I kept the profile, we date exclusively for 3 1/2- 4 ish months and we ended up breaking up.
Not because of me meeting someone or vice versa, but because we learned we werent "right" for each other. In casual settings we had fun but when it came to the daily grind of life, things didnt work out so well.
Also just so you know, I HAD an opportunity for a booty call WHILE I was dating her. It was another POF'er that I had a "meeting" with previously.
I turned it down because I was dating!
Moral of the story is that even though it might not APPEAR the man is commited to you, he still just may be.
It is tough to go from NOTHING to SOMETHING back to NOTHING in one fell swoop.
I know this is something we as men have to get over but it is a very real issue for me at least.
Thanks for listening and hope it helps! | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/27/2006 9:28:51 AM | @zgirlbeautiful, bandito and yummy mummy:
thanks and lots 'o' hugs to each of you. the respect and support of folks like you, really means a lot.
p.s. yummymummy....if that was your babe i saw on your pics (it's gone now) i just have to say, give yourself a big pat on the back. VERRRRRRRY adorable!!! | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/27/2006 9:38:58 AM | @ lakelandsm:
hi :) thanks for writing and sharing your story. it's good to get a little input from another angle. i wouldn't say that it was a bad thing that you kept up your profile. you had your reasons. AND it sounds like you and your significant other were on the same page and honest about it. my dilemma is that the guy i'm referring to was dishonest about it and to me, dishonesty is intolerable. he kept telling me he WAS in fact going to change it, but just never bothered to do so until i made the threat to change mine back to "looking". then, and only then, he changed it....and actually, still never changed his status to dating either. really, what this is all about for me is about building trust and mutual respect. if two people talk it out and do what they profess to do, then so be it. to each their own i say. unfortunately, this didn't turn out to be quite as mutual an ordeal as what yours turned out to be. | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/27/2006 8:29:54 PM | @ escocia:
well, it DID get a giggle out of me. and it also got me to wondering (again) what really IS under a scotsman's kilt??? | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/28/2006 11:16:33 AM | @ escocia:
well, thank you kindly for clearing that up for me.
note to self: remember to put mirrors on shoes should i ever make the trip to scotland.   | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 2/28/2006 8:27:14 PM | well, i'm not sure just how lady-like that would be. a little forward in fact, don't you think? i'm liable to get my face slapped for that. i'm not so sure i want to go all the way to scotland to get my face slapped!  | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 4/2/2006 7:15:30 PM | Hi this is sagitt38. I feel if you feel this way its for a good reason, Personaly if I wear to meet someone special I would gange my statis right away because all I want is one special women in my life. Besids it is not hard to make a new one up if things did not work out. I feel he is not sure and if he is not sure he should tell you so you cane both give it some that or he is a player and if what I get from you he is not for you and you cane find beter. But its all up to you so I hope that things work out for the best for you.
Yours truly
sagitt38   | |
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| should i be thinking about intimacy?
Posted: 4/4/2006 11:55:33 PM | If your gut hasn't done you wrong in the past don't let it do you wrong now. I say follow your feelings and stay true to yourself. | |
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