| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 2/24/2006 7:30:38 AM | | Glad to see this post.You go daddy! Ive been divorced now for a little over a year and have full custody of three of the four of my kids{oldest is 20} and they are my life.Anyone who has a problem with you sharing how important they are to you isnt worth your time.My kids know they are only second in line to God and any man who cant accept that isnt a man in my book.Any real women would be very happy to see how important family is to you.God Bless you and your children.Praying for you to find the right one. | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 2/26/2006 5:19:10 PM | | WOW, lots of support. (MOstly). I try to be more open to the woman I am with at the time ( not as often as I would like), ask all the questions that I SUPPOSE TO ASK but I guess I'm too shy for my own good. My children are my greatest acheivement. Thanks to you all! | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 2/26/2006 5:27:33 PM | | i like talking about my baby on a date when being asked. i'm proud of her and she is the centerpoint of my life. she gets me going and gives me hope for the future. she is my one and everything. if there is any woman out there that is interested in me but not into my baby, i wish i will never meet her - EVER! | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 2/26/2006 8:29:09 PM |
ask all the questions that I SUPPOSE TO ASK
Anybody can ask questions...the key is to be a genuine LISTENER, ask questions about her answers and invite her to elaborate on what she has to say. If you are a good listener, she will naturally want to listen to you as well.
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 2/28/2006 5:03:14 PM | Thanks for an opportunity to congratulate the Super Dads out there
I know of too many men who have abandoned their children mainly because the marriage broke up. Just today we were talking about me on this internet dating thing at work. I shared with everyone who many single dads are out there in the kiddie trenches! One of my crew is a young man about 24. His dad left the scene when his parents got a divorce. He doesn't have to many nice things to say about his "sperm donor". He was thrilled when I told him about you guys. I told him kids need their daddy's. He smiled at me and said they need their mommy's too.
Forget the ones who want all your attention. I understand the need to protect them. I'm at the age now where most of the kids are grown and gone. But they never stop being your children no matter how old they are. My son is 34 and lives in another town. That doesn't stop us from being close. And no man had better try to interfer...he'll be welcomed...my son would even move over and make room...so you better be deserving of the honor! | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 3/1/2006 12:04:20 PM | Hi 1Darren
Let me start by saying you are one impressive man and an exceptional dad .when a man in your situation shows his love and loyality for his two liitle angels who are absoulty gorgeous girls I may add ..it shows me that under that rugged exterior there is one hell of a wonderful man ..I have dated a man who had kids and I must confess I spent more time with his kids than I did with him ,,I adore kids and now my life has changed so much as I have been widowed 8 years and my only child is now on his own and leading his own life ..I also live in Brampton and the days get very long and quite ..any way my point is that you are there dad dont ever let anyone change that and never stop loving your girls you are a package deal and a mighty fine one at that you look very happy in the pic you have there ..take care and keep smiling it looks good on you : | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 7/20/2007 11:37:13 AM | | I don't have a problem with a guy that talks about his kids too much, I have a problem with the bitterness towards the ex. Went out with a guy from POF once that was a single dad and he talked about his kid lots but I heard way more about his ex and all their problems then I cared to know....... Make sure you aren't accidently doing that and someone who is worth it will stick around | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 7/20/2007 1:19:32 PM |
I am proud and happy to be a father
And this is why we talk about them!
I just want to meet someone that understands the bond I have with my girls.
I think the only person who can *truly* understand that bond is another single parent. I am not saying a childless one can never, but, if they dont have a child of their own, there is not that 'common understanding'. This is one of the few reasons I have tended to gravitate towards dating another single father. I have, in the past, dated one with no kids, but, this is just my preference, like others who dont. | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 7/20/2007 2:36:56 PM | | Hi Darren, (same name as me)! I have an 11 year old son (little Darren) soon to be 12 in December. I had a joint parental agreement drawn up 5/6 years ago but i was and always have been the 'main' parent. I too had very few dates/relationships during this period and felt probably the same way you do. There a few things to remember, like many here have said, your girls are obviously a very important part of who you are, and anybody that would be potentially suitable for you (and your girls) would understand that and appreciate it as an extremely positive aspect of your nature. You can never bee too proud. It often scares me that I might end up alone, but I try to remember that you only get one life and if at the very least you get to see your kid(s) grow up and spend quality time with them then for this you need to be grateful. Besides there seems to be an abundance of absent fathers these days, although single dads seem to be becoming more frequent. A man can be measured by his attitude towards his kid(s). My son has seen his mom have many partners, but the very few that I had years ago really bothered him. Now, as he's getting older we discuss the possibilities (he thinks it's funny that i'm on P.O.F.) as he is fast becoming a little adult as will your girls. No matter what the outcome of your endeavours to meet your soulmate, don't let it detract from the wonderful times to be had with your girls. Well good luck, your hearts in the right place so you'll be alright! :) I hope this helps. | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 7/22/2007 9:12:14 AM | | my kid is my everything, she fills me with pride and if I squeezed all my love for her into one room it would blow up. That being said, she is just one of 100 topics I talk about. If that's what your discussions always end up on perhaps you should broaden your horizons. If all someone talks about their kids I don't think that person has a strong bond with their children, I just think they're boring. | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 7/22/2007 10:43:22 AM | Heres my problem. I haven't been on more than 4 dates in 2 years. I think I scare women off by talking about my girls too much. I am proud and happy to be a father. I do all the right things, I think, ask her about herself, etc.. Then it always ends back with my kids. UGH!!
Well it's hard to judge if you talk too much about your kids without transcripts of your dates 
However, you do mention that the conversation always comes back to you making a comment about your kids. I love my son, but *any* topic can be overdone especially on a first date. Imagine that you are passionate about your job, but the person that you are with knows nothing about your field... how long could they stay interested? Same thing with your kids. I am sure your date hasn't met them so no matter how wonderful they are (and I'm sure they are wonderful), it can become tedious.
Just remember that just because you have a story about your kids that relates to the topic, you don't have to tell it. Instead, remember that you were an interesting person with lots of interests before your kids and are so now. So try and segue into another topic (preferably a common connection to your date) and save all the cute stories for when you decide the time is right to introduce your kids to that person (which probably shouldn't be the first date either).
Good luck! It's hard dating and being a parent. | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 7/22/2007 3:14:22 PM | Op: I know what you mean. Im a single dad of a 3 yr old. On a date you get asked about how it came to be that your child(ren) are living with you. It goes on from there. When I answer that question its usually with a tell yu later but that is taken as being evasive. When I tell the truth they want to cry and puke at the same time. My son is neurologicaly damaged from his mother and the system that perpetuated and minimised her abuse of him. My son has paid the price with his future and she walks. Not a happy story as my son is now 'special needs'. On the odd occassion I get accept to go on a date that ends the fun right there . If your evasive or lie about it your sunk. Catch 22.
I hate it when I get asked what do you do for fun? I'm a 100% full on single dad so I say what I used to do for fun or talk about what a blast my kid is to be with. Then we are back on the kid subject. I get respite care for one weekend a month thats intended so theparent can do things they enjoy. LOL nore like catch up on house work, personal business and some quiet time.
My mantra on single fatherhood:
Often admired, seldom dated and never accepted.
Good luck bro you certainly not alone .
PS ever look for any help being a single dad? I did but only came up with Jimmy Hoffa, the fountain of youth and 6 million sets of lost keys. | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 7/23/2007 10:18:11 AM | | In looking at it another way, we know your kids are important to you just like you know ours are important to us. They are our life. They are fun to talk about, brag about and laugh about. But there needs to be other interests too. Sometimes, being a single parent, the LAST thing in the world I want to talk about when I go out with an adult is children. lol | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 7/23/2007 11:09:30 AM | I'll agree to this.
I mean.. I can tell anyone I love my son to death... but unless asked about him I don't really talk about him when on a date. sure I might make a reference to him or too but definitely don't hang up the conversation on him. you've gotta be able to show the other person there are other things going on with you.. in your mind.. in your life.. besides your children.
not talking about him doesn't make him any less important to me. | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 8/13/2007 12:59:20 PM | interesting that this threat is still more or less active. i was just recently on a date from this website and no it wasn't as expected. we went to the playground with my daughter while her sister and mom where circling the city in the car, ready for immediate intervention or rescue mission, "safe" calls every 20 minutes included. 
so much about the background. well, while my daughter was playing in the background i had what i thought is a nice conversation. during the conversation she pointed out the blond hair color of my daughter. i mentioned that my two other children - who live with their mother in europe - are blond as well, and so is my father.
well, thats all i said and thats all she asked about my previous relationship. i would have mentioned that my first wife took off with a "boy" she knew from high school and it was her who thought that my son (back then 7) was too attached to me, forbid all contact and moved unknown... she didn't asked about all the things that then happened further so i thought she understands and it doesn't matter to her because she can see that i am doing a great job being a father and am looking for a life partner and not for a replacement wife/mother.
well, she sent me a few SMS asking how its going, even called me once but it was more like she was trying to terminate the call asap. i then questioned her about it and mentioned the impressions she is giving me and if i am just assuming or if there is something to it.
the answer she gave me then didn't want to get out of my head but was also so "one-sided" and "simple-minded" that i didn't really care either, she said something like: " ..., because you abandoned your children in europe and didn't care".
i just wanted to show an example how "not talking enough" or not questioning certain things can also turn the conversation and even the relation/friendship.
i will find the right one... sooner or later 
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 8/13/2007 2:17:43 PM | Hi. I have been through the same thing. I'm a fulltime mom and I don't have a lot of "me" time. People don't understand. It's about being a package deal and meeting someone who accepts and will fall in love with you AND your girls. I know it's hard, but when you meet the right gal it will be so worth the wait and the struggles you went through to get to her. Just remember, everything we go through are the things that get us to the person God has waiting for us.
Good luck! Any woman who has her head on straight will realize what a lucky woman she is to meet someone who loves his children so much. Unfortunately, it's hard to find these days.
Tiffany
(ps Talk about those babies as much as your heart desires. They deserve it and it'll teach them how they should be cherished by the man they date one day...even though it's hard to consider that day now! ;) ) | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 8/13/2007 2:31:05 PM | There have been quite a few message conversations that have ended suddenly when I've mentioned that I have residence (sole custody) of my boys and their ages. So, dates aren't a particularly common thing for me. The few I have been on have been great. I admit that my boys are my usual topic of conversation, not my only one but the most common. Hasn't appeared to be a problem to the few women who are prepared to chat after they know my circumstances.
By the way, one of the dates I've had, with someone from another site, led to a short, six months, but very sweet relationship. We are still great friends and she visits me and the boys regulary.
Us single dads have to admit that we are not just ourselves, we are part of a package. | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 8/13/2007 8:33:46 PM |
A little background. I have joint custody of my girls. That's difficult enough. I want custody. I see my girls 3-4 times a week and opposite weekends. Heres my problem. I haven't been on more than 4 dates in 2 years. I think I scare women off by talking about my girls too much. I am proud and happy to be a father. I do all the right things, I think, ask her about herself, etc.. Then it always ends back with my kids. UGH!!
Hun, when you get the answer.. PLEASE let me know!! :) | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 8/26/2007 10:04:28 AM | | I talk about my son all the time. He is my world and will always come first. Ther are a lot of fathers and mothers who care less abotu thier kids and if someone doesn't like you love your kids then they need to find another self absorbed to go out with. You need to find someone that has kids and feels like you. Rasing you kids is the most importnat thing you will do with your life!!! Your relationshsip with your kids will be there until the day you die, so beproud of who you are . It speaks volumes. | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 8/26/2007 3:39:47 PM |  HEY
IT IS PROBABLY THAT THE WOMAN SOMETIMES FEEL THERE IS NO SPACE FOR THEM IN THE RELATIONSHIP.I WAS IN THAT SAME SITUATION WHEN I MEET MY PRESENT FIANCEE.HE HAS THREE DAUGHTERS AND I FELT HE WOULD NEVER GIVE ME ALL THE LOVE AND ATTENTION BECAUSE OF THE CHILDEN INVOLVE BUT I LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT....AND AS FOR THE MAN U NEED TO GIVE THE WOMAN EQUAL SPACE AS THE CHILDREN AND THINGS WILL WORK OUT...............................................  | |
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| How does a single Dad go on a date w/o only talking about his kids?
Posted: 8/28/2007 4:48:27 PM |
hello; dollfun here! I do the same thing; ALWAYS!
i seem to bore people others to death, included friends. I am not self-centered, but
rather center in self and those whom i cherish most in this world!!!!!
I am a first, divorced, now 15 years. I have four daughters, one son.
I do infact live for them, eventhough friends and family tell me not to; that is why i live!!! | |
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