| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/24/2006 3:18:35 PM | | I would never have believed that a man would be abused by a woman until two of my male cousin's finally admitted their ex wife’s regularly punched bit scratched and slapped them. I should point out that each cousin is from different sides of the family and have had very limited interaction. I am sure that neither knows about the others situations. The irony of it is that both ex wives eventually were diagnosed with bipolar and schizophrenia respectively. Both male cousins were raised to never hit a woman and consequently suffered various degrees of physical abuse not to mention mental abuse. I feel sorry for both of them as they each loved their wives and made excuses for them until they couldn't anymore. I am not saying that is the reason for all women to be violent just this was the reason for each of my cousins abuse. I am grateful that they got out of their situations and now have moved onto healthier relationships. I forget to mention that both men are professionals, well respected in their communities. Abuse doesn't know race, creed or social-economic boundaries. | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/24/2006 3:22:52 PM |
Over the last two years, on a daily basis, she would belittle me, and hit me. It may not seem like much, but it makes you feel very miniscule when you have to answer questions about where marks and bruises come from.
Oh, just grow up and be a man!
Either leave her, or figure out a way to get back at her and/or make her simmer down that isn't violent or illegal if you think there's anything worth salvaging. Restrain her if it's a matter of self-defense and lock her outside for awhile, for example. Sometimes you have to treat kid behavior with kid-appropriate responses, sheesh. | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/24/2006 3:55:42 PM | | Dont worry mate i,ve had the same treatment I dont know one guy who hasnt been abused insulted hurt or dumped by women( most for no reason at all ) by women (and my male freinds have always been the nicest of guys) and yet theyre the ones who are always complaining about us. I,ve found most women I,ve gone out or lived with to be a bloody nightmare,conceited heartless and totally selfish sure plenty of men are the same but its about time women begin to understand that theyre just as nasty and unpleasant or as loving as men thats why I,m using this site to try and find a kind hearted one.And lets not forget that we,re the ones that have to build everything for them houses hospitals shops the lot,and not once in my life have I ever heard a woman thank us for it, I think half of them think these things just sprouted out of the ground for they're own benefit.Like you I,ve never hit a woman and believe in treating them with respect and kindness, (the last one I had lived with me for a year without giving me a pennny for rent gas or electricity,she just spent her money on drink and verbally abused me and hit me now and again until I mercifully got rid of her,) its to bad that so many of them dont treat us in the same manner. | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/24/2006 4:14:12 PM | ex hit me once I told her I'm not going to hit her so don't hit me.
Did it again gave her one more warning.
Third time I threw a shoe at her because I know I'd miss on purpose. If I genuinely hit her with any force I may have killed her.
I left within days anyway. | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/26/2006 10:37:44 AM | Very interesting topic!
It seems that abuse towards men is not as uncommon as we might be led to believe by the virtual wall of silence surrounding the topic.
There are several types of abuse, some of it physical, some of it psychological, sometimes sexual ( witholding intimacies included ), and quite often financial as well.
I have also survived a long term relationship of 9 years that had all the above attributes of abuse. It just took me some time to recognize it for what it was and take steps to deal with it. So glad to be free of it at last!
I have come to the understanding, that such an abusive partner ( at least in my case ) is generaly a 'controlling' individual who needs to be in total charge of her ( or his ) environment. Generally these people are very hard to reason with on any level because they generaly refuse to take any responsibility for their own actions and tend to lean towards a borderline personality disorder where everything is causally external to them and that they percieve themselves as the victims instead of the perpetrators and maintainers of the effects of their abuse.
It takes all types to make the world go round, and , although it is a shame that spousal abuse is out there, you're appreciation of a good loving relationship with another , that demonstrates mutual respect and genuine sharing, deepens in comparison to the other. Whatever it takes to get there, I suppose, but it seems we are not alone as men when it comes to abuse. | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/26/2006 3:02:29 PM | Chrysostom
It is not a matter of growing up and being a man, I think you owe your fellow men an apology. My cousin had his door kicked in by his exwife. She was very strong when her personality disorder took hold. He literally had to leave the premises in order to avoid violent actions by her. Getting back at someone who is abusive just continues the circle as they see nothing wrong with hurting or being hurt. Just my thoughts. | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/26/2006 3:29:32 PM | | Yes you bet men can be abused....I am one that was in a very abusive marriage, yes I could have just walked away from it but what would that have done to my child...so I stayed becouse of my child and was abused in unspeakable ways. My wife was showing signs of some mental illness kicking in but in the beginning it was just for fleeting moments that you could tell not everything was alright in her brain case. As the years went on the illness became more and more pronouced and you could now see it for what it was. I was abused in just about every form you could think of....till one day after some 15+ years of marriage I was at the end of my rope....and I do mean at the end of my rope...! My saving grace was that she wanted a divorce so she could marry a 80 year old guy that was 38 years older then her and 12 years older then her own mother. My EX's mother is just as loopy as her own daughter...it is true the apple does not fall far from the tree, and this was very much the truth. Now i am single and now I would like a new love but one that is very peaceful...NO yelling...NO screaming....NO fighting. I am forever burnt out by what I had to live with and now I seek peace and quiet and most of all.....Love, caring, kindness....something that is almost unknown to me as I saw very little of it and when I did it was just a small sample...a teaser if you will. | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/26/2006 3:44:05 PM | well  to you all.
i never been hit nor did i ever raise a hand to anyone or threw anything at them....not right for either both sexes to hit anyone...i dont care who provoked it...its wrong period....best to walk away from it by leaving. if a man hit a woman....his hits are 10x more powerful.
sometimes we love someone ...so we tolerate in hopes that they wont do it again but they do...its a vicious cycle...and its up to us to break it. ...so much anger within them....they take it out on loved ones...it always happens.
i live by...bring out the best in them...not their worst. by bringing out their best...it allows them to be themselves an to feeling good bout everything in life.
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/26/2006 4:03:19 PM | | Not to sound unkind, but you do seem like a big loser. I dont understand how you can date a girl who beats you black and blue. This is one of the most pathetic stories I've heard here, It beats me I swear. | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/26/2006 4:07:43 PM | | I just read more of the other posts ... seems the dudes posting on this topic are whiney males who date women with extremely bad personalities. | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/26/2006 4:29:37 PM | "When another blames thee or hates thee, or when men say about thee anything injurious, approach their poor souls, penetrate within, and see what kind of men they are. Thou wilt discover that there is no reason to take any trouble that these men may have this or that opinion about thee. However thou must be well disposed towards them, for by nature they are friends. And the gods too aid them in all ways, by dreams, by signs, towards the attainment of those things on which they set a value." Marcus A.
Mack
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/26/2006 4:37:37 PM | The only thing I don't understand about the OP is he still cares for her. Attacking a defenseless (sleeping) person is just plain wrong. 
I think you're joking, but if you're serious, do yourself a favor and hate her. If you don't realize you hate her, then you need counselling.
Say aloud:
That bish never let me screw her.
That bish told me "insert worst most emasculating and demeaning thing" to my face.
That bish punched/kicked/scratched me because she knew I wouldn't fight back.
That bish was ungrateful for all the cooking/cleaning/money/etc. I did for her.
Stop being Mr Nice guy and be Mr Fed Up guy. Stick up for yourself man! Humility is a virtue, but NO SELF RESPECT IS TERRIBLE!!!
Take a class in Kung-fu and the next time someone pulls that shit, knock em on their ass.
 The concept is called self-defence. | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/26/2006 7:24:13 PM | | I think you need to really look at the posts here, it's not about spelling, it's about something much more serious.......come on........really.....dont you think these guys are dealing with enough without you making fun of their spelling mistakes. | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 5/26/2006 8:19:00 PM | | i had a friend that was abused by his woman.... after what i heard... i said ... i would throw one punch... and she would b gone... he was scartched to shit ... and had a black eye... and had a limp..;. fuk that... one punch ... games over... if i couldn't get out | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 11/13/2006 12:55:22 PM | "It seems that abuse towards men is not as uncommon as we might be led to believe by the virtual wall of silence surrounding the topic."
wow there's some great forums on abuse.
i found this one a good read message 30 from where i found the quote above well said! | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 11/13/2006 1:26:45 PM | | Yea, and they don't just do it physically neither, because they learn to do it emotionally too. Watch for that too buddy in your next relationships. You might have contacted battered woman syndrome (where you will want that abuse and want to stay with them for life or death. ) | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 11/13/2006 4:48:38 PM | | I have walked in your shoes, stay away and move on I was stupid and went back time and time again Big mistake. I am free now and I am getting my life back and I am much happier | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 11/13/2006 5:24:48 PM | | u must be stuped to put up with that but i know what it feels like to love a girl that dont love you u must be a strong persion to put up with what u did. Did u eva want to hit her bk or get some1 to knok herout coz even tho i love my g/f if she eva dont that i would get my sister to kill herbut u must be a good persion im glad to here that ur getting over it and moveing on with it coz girls like that dose not dezif a man like u if u put up with all thati hop u dont think im not being chicky anyways see u stay strond and dont let any1 treat u like that again coz thay are not worth it by by speak to u soon from matthew | |
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| Men can be abused too...
Posted: 11/13/2006 6:58:25 PM | | I've been in the same boat. I thought things would get better after we got married. Now my poor son has to live with her and her illness. | |
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