| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/7/2005 10:20:43 PM | It seems men are at a bit more of a disadvantage than women...
Since I joined Plentyoffish, I've sent out at least 15 messages. to a wide range of young women. I've been brutally honest, especially in my assessment of myself. It doesn't help that I'm not fond of the picture I put up (maybe I should take the advise here, and fill out all the pictures)...
But, I think the pictures have ALOT to do with it. Fake pictures aside, it seems the more attractive a woman is, the less likely she is to reply. the one young woman I've spoken with was a year older than I, and quite attractive imo, but she wasn't on many "Friends" lists, and only voted around a 6. Honestly, I was surprised with her response, and alas, emails seem to be as far as this will go for awhile.
Not being female, I don't know what it's like to have a female account on a site such as this...maybe I should open one with fake pics and see just how many messages they get ;) (kidding... that would be quite rude, and just add to the problem). But I have to wonder how many of the young men on here ARE being sincere, and honest. I've flipped through male profiles, with hopes for beefing mine up, making it more appealing...and many of these guys are full of it. I'd consider myself a hopeless romantic (and i've got the poetry to prove it), but many of the guys...ugh... Not too many college football players who have trouble stringing together a sentance, let alone a word longer than 5 characters, make it believable that their looking for more than a booty call... Yet, they seem to be on quite a few friends lists, etc.
It seems though, on both sides, the honest but not top 500 pics croud are at a HUGE disadvantage.
All I can say is don't give up. I don't plan to. If you're persistant (NOT ANNOYING), you'll get through... maybe not all the time... maybe not to the model type... but if you're honest, and witty, you will get some responses... Maybe 10% as suggested above, maybe 15%, maybe 5%...but those who get through, as long as you remain honest, will be worth the effort of all the turn downs.
Keep it real  | |
|
| |
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/9/2005 6:49:52 AM | | I dont get it. Women list in their profiles I'm looking for a nice,caring honest guy and then when we write them very polietly they "read delete" the message we wrote them. Geez ladies would it hurt to even give us a chance? Arent we on the site to chat with someone to see if they peak our interest? Its pretty shallow to look at a guys picture then not want to talk to them. | |
|
| |
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/11/2005 3:49:58 AM | hi ,
do not take their not answering personal. there are days when i recieve alot of emails, maybe 8 to 10. i know i should answer everyone to be polite, they did take the time to find me, admire my photo, read my profile and be brave enough to send an email. but if i gave each person a thoughtful answer that would take, what, an hour.
and one thing gentleman do not forget. we may have waded thru 5 smutty emails before getting to yours. by then, i am just annoyed and get off the computer. so it is probably not you at all, but the circumstances. i have been in the middle of reading an email then had to tend to other matters right now. and honestly when coming back onto the site i just go to my emails i have not read.
so if you are really interested in her, i would try emailing her sweetly say every 3 or 4 days. if she doesnt respond by 3 or 4 emails then move on. oh, and those " hi, nice pic, so tell me about yourself" those do not work......i just dont have time to sit here and go on and on about myself to everyone who emails me with a one sentance email..... hope this helped and good luck. josie | |
|
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/11/2005 6:02:42 AM | I haven't a clue as to the male/female ratios statistics but think that this is something all daters are subjected to, online or off, dependant on their geographical location.
When it comes to the misrepresentation issue I am inclined to believe that both men and women are equally guilty.
In my opinion putting up on old picture that does not really reflect what you look like now is equivalent to lying. Is there any denying that physical chemistry is something we all seek? This does not mean that it is the most important factor, just that it is part of the equation of attraction. Thankfully I haven't run into this situation in my own experiences but have heard from many men that they have.
I personally don't understand why people lie about their age or occupation, are they ashamed of these things and thus feel a lie would 'better their chances' of attracting someone? Does a relationship that begins with a lie have any chance of surviving? Being lied to about anything will always lead me to question someone's overall integrity.
As for misrepresenting your relationship status that is just plain wrong. If you are in a relationship and want a fling there are sites for that. Why drag someone else, who seeks something else, into a situation that is already fraught with problems?
Just my two cents. | |
|
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/11/2005 10:28:21 AM | | i dont know about the men but from a womans perspective well... all my pics are pretty recent as in last week and the mails i get well not too many have substance, i dont see a reason to lie whether it be online or not either for both male or female if they are serious about the whole process b/c when it comes down to it if you actually connect with someone its all based on lies and your credibility is shot when they find out. I dont think men are at a disadvantage any more than a woman is. | |
|
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/11/2005 10:34:06 AM | Speaking from this womans perspective I don't see how you could have a problem if thats really your picture. I have never in my life dated or been attracted to a black man but I think you could change my mind very quickly. Too bad I'm so far away.
I have chatted with alot of very nice men from this site and met a few of them. They tell me that the women get alot more responses than the men. Perhaps its because most of them fill out their profiles with minimum info and no picture. I might respond to an ad with a nice picture and little info or a very nice profile and no picture, but I won't respond when there is neither one to give a hint to who this person is. And then there are the guys who write the one word email and expect a lengthy reply. Whats that all about ? Or the fellows who are picture collectors ? Whats that ? I think the cause of any disadvantage may be in the way the man describes what he is looking for, and how he thinks of himself. I know that a profile can only say so much but my goodness, I would think that marketing oneself ought to be worthy of more than we girls get to know, Just my few words on this matter. | |
|
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/11/2005 4:54:05 PM |
Speaking from this womans perspective I don't see how you could have a problem if thats really your picture. I have never in my life dated or been attracted to a black man but I think you could change my mind very quickly. Too bad I'm so far away.
Hi dey3502,
Well if these comments were intended for me, I thank you for your encouraging words. Yep these are really my pictures. The one with the black T-Shirt was taken in July 2004. The others were taken in December of 2004. Yes I agree...too bad you're so far away.
Regards... | |
|
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/11/2005 6:19:49 PM | Dey, Sweetazz and Josie!!!!
What u all said is oh so TRUE...Men if you want alittle honest advice ..read their posts!!!! I couldnt of said it better myself....and everyone BE REAL... lying and old pics or someone elses...is so immature...and wastes everyones time. And the guys who pout that a girl has deleted your email, because you are such a great guy... Would YOU of sent it if you didnt like her pic???? I doubt it. Everyones tastes are different...just the way it is. Move on... So I wouldnt say men are at a big disadvantage, just by being male......but some are who dont put any effort in their profile and or pics...as shallow as it sounds... attraction is a must.
Good Luck ALL | |
|
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/11/2005 7:37:17 PM | | RobD20, the only thing about overweight that can be said in favor of it is that at least overweight is a completely reversible thing. UGLY is not always changeable, even with surgery. | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| |
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/13/2005 1:34:11 AM | Muahhahahaha!! Elven, I just looked at your fav's list. They're all hot except for the chick with no boobs and a six-pack??? Even so... You da man! Funny how I'm not on anyone's fav's list, and I never get any mail, except a couple hateful postings here and there.  | |
|
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/13/2005 2:02:21 AM | hahhaha... its not from mine,
but its all from the same woman...
wouldnt it be a fun little game to try and figure it out? like a treasure hunt...
:)
heh heh...
lol @ steve... it's all about the eye candy ;) (free eye candies if you fav list me, its in the fine print)
most of the letters i get are ones just sayin "hi" and i made them laff... so i guess they're taking pitty on me... 
probably the same reason, sari... | |
|
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/13/2005 5:05:41 AM | My friend, who met his fiancee online, said: to get an honest look at your potential date, add ten years to age and thrty pounds to weight, subtract 50 percent from what they say they make in a year, and half or more to be emotionally unstable. So, all told. if you get a hundred responses, two or three might be matches. It has to be worse for women. Remember, more responses most often means more flakes to deal with.
WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS TRANSLATIONS
40-ish: 49
Adventurer: Slept with all your friends
Athletic: No breasts
Average Looking: Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful: Pathological liar
Contagious Smile: Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated: Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure: Medicated
Feminist: Fat ballbuster
Free Spirit: Junkie
Friendship first: Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun: Annoying
Gentle: Comatose
Good Listener: Borderline Autistic
New-Age: All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned: Lights out, missionary position only
Open-minded: Desperate
Outgoing: Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate: Sloppy drunk
Poet: Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional: Certified Bitch
Redhead: Bad dye-job
Reubenesque: Grossly Fat
Romantic: Looks better by candle light
Social: Has been passed around like an hors d'oeuvres tray
Voluptuous: Very Fat
Weight proportion w/ height: Hugely Fat - as tall as you are wide
Wants Soulmate: Stalker
Widow: Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart: Old bat
MEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish: 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic: Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking: Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated: Will patronize you all the time
Free Spirit: Banging! Your sister
Friendship first: As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun: Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking: Arrogant
Very good looking: Dumb as a board
Honest: Pathological Liar
Huggable: Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle: Insecure mama's boy
Mature: Older than your father
Open-minded: Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
Physically fit: Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet: Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
Sensitive: Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive: Gay
Spiritual: Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable: Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful: Says "Excuse me" when he farts. | |
|
| |
| |
| Is a man at a big disadvantage in online dating?
Posted: 2/13/2005 6:52:12 AM | sapphiresky, I agree. All we can do is hope for someone honest and sincere, and do the same for others. It's unfair to be dishonest.
I tried to be as honest as I possibly could on my profile. Any more honesty, and I'd have posted my social security number and drivers license!! | |
|
| |
| |
Home
login 
