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Show ALL Forums  > Over 30  > Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?      Home login  
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 stargategirl
Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 76
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Oh maximus that's because you don't do those things to create attraction silly!
The attraction is either there or it isn't.
You do those things once you know the attraction is already there and dating is in full swing. You do them as part of showing affection towards her/him not in an effort to get them to find you more attractive or somehow want you more if they don't.
 SingleMomE
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 77
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/26/2007 1:37:11 PM
Ummm, not to get into the middle of you two

But.....

I had a great time with a guy who treated me great. He got a second date, and a third, and so on. If a guy treats me disrespectfully or plays games he doesn't get a second glance from me. If I give out my number and don't get a call within a few days then I'm done. No games, no silliness, no disrespect, no sexual agenda, just be a nice guy...at least, that's what I want
 badtrout
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 78
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Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/26/2007 1:58:33 PM
so, you're not into the whole 'game' thing? i hate the whole 'you're not supposed to call for 7 (or whatever) days. if you like someone and want to talk to 'em, do it. if you want to see each other 5 times in one week, do it. the cliche is true: life is too short....
so, to make a long post short, i agree with you SingleMomE

just my .02
 Larry6400
Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 79
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/27/2007 5:12:34 AM
Have to agree with you badtrout, I just go with the flow, if it feels good, do it.
 ligonmaximus
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 80
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Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/27/2007 12:44:19 PM
My dear sweet stargategirl let's talk about all of this on the phone for six hours. Not that I like to talk on the phone or anything. lol ha ha ha
 SingleMomE
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 81
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/27/2007 2:21:14 PM
So, badtrout, since you're not a "gamey" kind of person either, wanna meet for coffee somewhere between LA and Orlando?
 badtrout
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 82
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Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/27/2007 4:26:38 PM
i'd love to but i was unable to email you about the difference between knowing about the princess bride and understanding the princess bride... the actual rejection screen was quite a blow to the ego
 badtrout
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 83
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Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/27/2007 4:29:27 PM
...and...

i knew i never should have moved back to CA!
 badtrout
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 84
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Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/27/2007 4:34:02 PM
ah, you understand larry... too many people are afraid to just let things progress as they will. there's a reason to "let nature take its course" at some point two people will get tired of each other or they will take things to another level...
 PrettyGrnEyes37
Joined: 8/6/2006
Msg: 85
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/27/2007 10:45:25 PM
When I turned 30, the responses to my personals ad reduced about 70%. I had this sense that since I'd moved into another "decade" of years, I was suddenly less attractive. It was the difference of a day in reality, but made all the difference in those who searched for viable dating material.

That was 7 years ago and now it seems like times have changed. I actually get a lot of responses from guys in their 20's who prefer an "older" woman and from guys my age and much older.

As to "dating" persay... well... haven't done much. :) I think it's that I've settled into a life I enjoy and the effort to move outside of that seems more than its worth most of the time.
 kindacute!
Joined: 11/25/2006
Msg: 86
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/28/2007 2:26:59 AM
I guess you can say I am not young, dumb and full of c*m anymore, so I choose to date men who are a lot more mature now also.

I think when I matured a bit, I stop having the need to prove who I am to anyone.I don't allow head games,or intimidation either. So, I date when I want , who I want and how I want. The men I choose to date are respectful of my personal boundaries.

 pik1forme
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 87
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/28/2007 5:31:51 AM
I think most men have learned and are wary after thirty-that it is downright dangerous to get involved and risk financial and emotional devastation by these experianced women who are already divorced or seperated and have takin thier men to the cleaners! No man in their right mind would risk going through a seperation once he has been through it ! The only thing that most men nowadays want are one night stands ! Before the bias court system destroys everything they have and worked for,if things don't work out! The womens rights movement has gotten women where they are! SINGLE ! I envy anyone that does find their true love,but after ten years together,that same person can become your worst enemy and it is the men that suffer the most,financially,emotionally and if children are involved it gets really bad ! No, man wants to ever deal with this type of trauma after going through it once ! There fore i think a lot of men avoid anything more than finding a "friend"! I keep seeing womens pro-files on here that say they are looking for a "nice guy" !Yet in the forums i see these same women bashing men all the time ! Then you wonder why men are shying away ! Nice guys are easy prey for some women and some men are starting to realize it !
 xxxsmilerxxx
Joined: 2/22/2007
Msg: 88
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/28/2007 8:50:15 AM
why dont you approach them?. They might be married but at least you will have made them feel wanted again! .i am the wrong side of 30 and i go shopping on my own and nobody approachs me even with a trolley full of " meals for one".Anybody can go into a nightclub to"pull" but this isnt what you want for a full time relationship. i hope you find what you are looking for and when you do dont let him go!. Whats a man to do???. x
 stargategirl
Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 89
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/28/2007 9:51:21 AM
My dearest Maximus only 6 hours? Are you sure that will be sufficient for a man of your caliber that evidently has so much more to say?
 ligonmaximus
Joined: 4/23/2006
Msg: 90
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Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/28/2007 10:44:34 PM
Hey stargategirl baby your voice sounds so hot on the phone right now......mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm lol :-)
 stargategirl
Joined: 12/23/2006
Msg: 91
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 2/28/2007 10:46:37 PM
yes dear Maximus it's quite obvious u want me
 manchild512
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 92
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 3/3/2007 10:11:55 AM
I'm find dating in my thirties tough more games and there(women) better at it too.
 simplysteven
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 93
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 8/16/2007 9:16:47 PM
I could'nt agree more......I think that we as 30 somethings, just have to learn to be ourselves again and not be so judgemental. If you let yourself be true to the person your dating, it will show through. Nothing comes without some sort of sacrifice. The same goes for dating, if it was easy, we'd all be in great relationships. The truth is that if you want happiness, you'll have to hurt first. In any case, just be real.
 NotAttractive
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 94
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Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 8/19/2007 8:56:47 PM
I'm extremely frustrated. I attempt to contact women, show my interest. I'm quickly dismissed because:
1) I'm not well travelled. Well, I'm sorry. I've had no real interest to go to Cancun or Germany.
2) I don't make enough money. Well, I'm actually doing very well, thank you.
3) I live in an apartment. It's good for you that you own a house. I don't want to right now.
4) I'm not attractive. I don't match her 'image' of the 'perfect' guy (which, ladies, that man does not exist except in your mind. Get over it).

I've gotten to the point where I'm far more cynical, critical, and grumpy than I've ever been before. I have to accept the fact that I'm undatable...UNDATABLE!
 BadBrain Redux
Joined: 7/19/2007
Msg: 95
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 8/19/2007 9:16:41 PM
Lets see, I haven't had a date in two years; I'm bored and lonely. Yeah, you could say I'm a bit frustrated.
 daringdamsel70
Joined: 8/20/2007
Msg: 96
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 9/12/2007 9:14:21 PM
They say its more likely for a woman over 35 to be killed by terrorist than to find a mate. Beginning to see this as not so far fetched. this was all so easy in my 20's. Now everytime there is light at the end of the love tunnel... its probably a train. Tempting just to get off the tracks.
 NotAttractive
Joined: 8/21/2005
Msg: 97
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Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 9/13/2007 6:40:34 PM
Since I've meandered into the 30's, I just don't feel like playing the game anymore. I am (or was) the sweet, caring, attentive guy. But I discovered it's the same B.S., same circular logic (I've gotten dizzy too often), same bait and switch...I can see it even when it's not aimed at me.

I've had my heart ripped needlessly out my chest far too often. Oh, yes, I'm the guy you'd take home to mom. But that doesn't happen because it never gets that far.
 passion1203
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 98
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 9/14/2007 11:57:27 AM
I agree.. that when you were in your early 20's.. there was little to care about. Just relax, go out and have a good time. No kids to worry about, wondering if the baby sitter is having a party at your house, or making out with her boyfriend. Not having to worry or care, if you are late for work or skip a class or two. There is little accountabliity when you are 20 somthing. Suddenly, the magic 30 + comes around, and responsiblity calls. Many people, men and women both, are now on there second or maybe more marriage.. have families.. not only of their own, but blended and steps and the whole gamet of things. It is harder for us to relax...t o trust.. to be ok with laughing and having fun. We have kind of forgotten what it is like to not worry..

I agree, the interent doesn't help matters any. It kind of hurts, in a way. People can hide behind the computer and pretend to be anyting they want to be. The old fashioned idea of dating is gone. The status of a relationship at 30+ is more committed.. even if we are just " dating".. we expct more from our partners.. for women, we need a man that is sure of himself and has goals.. and a job!! that helps too! For men, they need a women that is sure of herslef and confiedent. Even though, I hve yet to have a man tell me that is what he is looking for! LOL!
 FeistySam
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 99
Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 9/14/2007 2:15:17 PM
wha can i say "hottie3148".... im not 30 yet and i totally feel the same way!!! just light a candle and pray, lol.
 sun_shine_2008
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 100
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Frustrated with the whole dating after turning 30?
Posted: 9/14/2007 2:21:20 PM
well I didnt just turn 30, I am older than that and dating has totally frustrated me here lately, sometimes I wonder if it is even worth it.........but not giving up yet
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