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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 7:30:41 AM | I am now three times 19 years of age, and only in this last year have met women who wish to be submissive. These submissive women are not looking for some kinky sex games. They are desirous of a relationship model, that stresses male leadership of the household.
There is a frequent theme in contemporary relationships that places household leadership in the hands of the BOW (B*tch on Wheels). This may be optimal for some couples, if both parties want it, but it leaves me cold.
Honestly, folks, there are women who wish to fulfill a supportive, rather than a leadership role, and to live an "old fashioned" traditional lifestyle. My limited observations suggest that these women frequently come from backgrounds of very fundamentalist religious communities.
Personality development arises from early childhood experiences, and people tend to assume relationship roles that fit their own expectations. If both partners have expectations of the primary leadership role in a household, then conflict would be likely result.
A successful and mutually rewarding relationship will allow honest expression of both partner's personalities. Conflict is the product of differential expectations and struggle for power.
No single relationship style is best for everyone. It seems to make sense that mate seekers should take the time to find a complementary match in their choice of partner, rather than an opponent for leadership.
If a man desires his woman to be the demure hausfrau, then he has a duty to fulfill the role of provider and guardian. It is not all about "I want," but should involve mutual contributions from both partners, of roughly equivalent magnitude. We have no reasonable entitlement to receive, in greater degree than we are willing to give.
The fair balance of giving and receiving, contributing and enjoying, makes for a relationship that can be beneficial and satisfying for both a man and his woman. | |
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 9:32:01 AM | Hi 19YearOldDom,
We are both safe from the avenging feminists. Like everyone else, you and me included, people of feminist persuasion can state their opinions, and make their case. If any of us are on the receiving end of complaints and criticisms, we will still survive.
If we are confident and secure in our beliefs and actions, then we have nothing to fear from anyone else's opinions. We seek partners and relationships, because we want to make our lives better, than they would otherwise be.
You ask if I am a wolf dom, a dragon dom or a wolf/dragon. This is nomenclature foreign to my experience.
While words have meanings, it is actions, which have consequences. That means anyone can say anything, to little effect, but it is actions which yield concrete results.
You are still a very young man, not less of a man, but a man who has limited experience. Experience can only accrue with age. The longer you live, the greater will be your wisdom. I advise you to enjoy the fruits of your youth, to seek out love, and to enjoy its rewards.
It appears important to you, that you secure a relationship with a woman who will treat you with respect, and bless your table with good home cooking. There is nothing wrong with that.
I only ask that you consider such a fine woman to be a great treasure in your life. You should also accord her with utmost respect, and seek to make her life equally blessed as yours.
By establishing a true partnership, both of your lives might be immeasurably improved. Go forth and seek the love of your life. Treat her well; she shall return the favor. Prove yourself, not with your words, but with your actions. The man, be he young or old, who earns respect, shall receive it. Health and happiness to you! | |
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 9:38:58 AM | | You're not a man - you're a naive, misguided lil' punk who categorizes women into 2 groups: horrible feminists or submissive little amish-dress-wearing housekeepers who were apparently put on this earth to cater to you. And what are YOU going to do for this woman you hope to find? Or is it just all about you and what you want? | |
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 10:02:00 AM | ALWAYS good to run into you, Mandrake!!
O/T Dom, have you considered hanging around the Amish/Mennonite community? They have a lot of them in Ohio.....maybe you could meet a guy who would introduce you to his sister/other girls he knows? I don't think the girls would go for strangers, but if you were real patient and took the time to let the guy get to know you and consider you his friend.....Just a thought....just don't use the word, 'DOM'....be yourself....
~DC~ | |
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 10:48:50 AM | I was looking for a true submissive
Reading your comments so far, you don't have a clue what a submissive is.
i am a tru wolf/dragon dom, do not awaken the dragon!!
Nor do you know what a dom is.
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 10:52:50 AM | | Totally submissive....no, but a bit old fashioned yes. When it comes to relationships, my dream one (doesn't have to happen but its what i WOULD prefer) is after i have my last kid, to stay at home for the first few years. It has nothing to do with the fact that i feel that a woman should be in the home, but for me it is a preferance. I am floared by women who can raise kids and work full time, cause i know that if i had the choice, i couldn't do it. But after the kids were of a certain age and able to go to school full time, i would want to go back to work to fill my days while the kids were in school. So im a bit old fashioned in that i believe that woman already work to hard raising kids, and that if they want they should be able otstay at home until the kids are in school full time. But on the other hand some woman prefer to be at work with young kids cause it keeps them from going insane. | |
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Ooli
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 108 | |
| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 11:59:26 AM | | pepper2: You're right. Perhaps we should get his Mom instead. | |
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 12:41:02 PM | It is almost impossible to believe you are for real,,, on the off chance you're not a troll, you are the most warped 19 year old I have ever encountered.
In the 57 years of my life I have met many people, two of them were true Doms in their 60s who had lived that lifestyle 24/7 for most of their adult lives. I learned much from these two about the lifestyle you seem to hunger for. The most important point was the free exchange of power between the Dom and his Sub,,, the key word is free,,,, as in,, freely given. In reality it makes the Sub the more powerful of the two, because was is freely given can be taken back,,, there is the true power.... A good Dom who has a total Sub treats that person like they are made of gold,,, with love, kindness, attention, seeing that they never want for even the smallest thing, because that person has become their complete responsibility. One of these men I was romantically involved with for a period of time,,,, what he desired was respect,,, and was the most giving man I ever knew, in many ways. There was seldom a day when I didn't recieve some small token, gift,,, just to remind me I was cared for and loved, that he thought of what would bring me pleasure or make me laugh. Did I remain in that relationship? No, but simply because I understood submissiveness is not my nature.
From your so very childish posts it is clear,,, you don't have a clue. For a woman to be a true submissive,,, she must have complete confidence in herself and be a woman of enormous power,,,,, Boy it's going to take you a while to figure that one out, I'll bet! But, then, what you seem not to understand about women would require a thick book to list it all...
Texasbaby | |
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 12:52:03 PM | i am a pagan, so the amish girls does not want to be my sub...i did have one for 2 days but she kept turning off the tv even my fave show dexters labratory and i had to let her go
if she had turned off birdman (my roll model) i would have let her see the dragon lol
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
 come on you guys!<--these guys are my "roll" model's | |
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 12:55:43 PM | At least some Trolls are funny and can make you laugh...
It is almost impossible to believe you are for real,,, on the off chance you're not a troll, you are the most warped 19 year old I have ever encountered.
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:21:53 PM | | Ohhhhhhhh Myyyyyyyyyyy when was it considered complete submission to cook your man a meal,LOL. | |
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:40:43 PM | Um, dude... OP:
if you think a submissive is somebody who YOU get to manipulate... you have absolutely NO IDEA what a true dom/sub relationship is.
Quite truthfully, the SUBMISSIVE actually runs the show. I fear you have much to learn before you could comprehend what a DOM is...
You give S&M and fantasy play a bad name.
A DOM is not someone where you get to play *KING* and order your *SLAVE* around as if she is truly your slave. No... always, and I mean ALWAYS, the SUB is in control at all times. It is the SUB who has the power. This may seem perplexing, and against what you may be thinking... but if you do not understand this, you do NOT need to try and be in a DOM/SUB relationship until you do.
S&M is about, even in a 24/7 lifestyle, a sexual taste which includes fantasy/roleplay/control. However, it is of the submissives willing: what they desire to have done to them, how they crave to create happiness and a bond of trust... the *Master* so to speak would NEVER do anything against his or her submissive's wishes.
Which brings me to... Just what IS a Dom?
Just so you know...
The ideal master controls himself, so that he might control his submissive. he will, as stern dominant, cause tears to flow, and, as lover, kiss them away. An unashamed romantic, he cherishes his submissive lady. Yet always, he remains aware of the difference between fantasy and reality. When there is need he is ready to immediately leave the roles behind to be a friend and re-enter the real world where she is not, as you say, cooking you meals as required. Jesus.
He understands that to own a woman, one must court the mind with intelligence and humor; win the spirit with compassion and warmth; and take the body with determined strength. He is old-fashioned enough to be gallandt and chivalrous. Naturally protective, he would fight for his lady's honor. He understands and accepts the differences between men and women, but is modern enough to know there is no inferiority to it.
He is the honorable sadist who uses pain to extend the bounds of pleasure, vigilant that no harm comes of the hurt. He is the mentor and guide who takes his lady into flight, the wind beneath her wings and her tether to the earth. Enveloping the submissive in his strength, he lends her the courage to reach new heights.
The good dominant is not lazy, mentally or physically. He researches carefully his toys of choice. He seeks out those having the skills and knowledge to teach him to use those toys properly, before ever trying them out on his lover. Then, he practices each skill he would have, whip to cane. Trusting nothing to chance, he tests everything first on his own body.
He is patient enough to learn his submissive well. Aware of the fragile nature of the human mind and spirit, he would not violate those entrusted to his keeping. He knows that submission to him will deepen as trust grows and control will extend as affection increases.
Confident in his dominance, he has no need of silly posturing. He accepts titles as tokens of respect and kneeling as outward expression of genuine feeling. He has no desire to cheapen these by compelling as ritual (as you have suggested). There is nothing ritualistic about a DOM/Slave relationship. He understands that the compliance that comes out of her fear for punishment is WEAK, at BEST, while the obedience is engendered from real submissive feelings and the desire to please one's master is unequivocal.
He is secure enough to laugh at himself and the absurdities of life, courageous enough to accept assistance, open-minded enough to learn new things, and strong enough to grow. His tools are mind, body, spirit, and soul, with assistance from whip, chain, and blindfold. He understands that each partner gains from pleasuring the other. Most of all, he knows love as the only chain that truly binds.
Are you these things? I doubt it... and beside all of these things, here are a few *myth* busters that you might want to be aware of:
A DOM must respect the limits of his sub. It is fine to gradually broaden your submissive's horizons or to coax a hesitant sub into some experimentation. You must NEVER push or coerce your sub into anything she doesn't want to do.
A DOM must NEVER carry out any act in which he is not 100% fully capable or in control of himself. If you can not whip or spank your submissive without it actually hurting her, and leaving marks, and wounding her, you must never attempt it. There are right ways, which bring about pleasure, and wrong ways, which inflict serious damage. If you do NOT know the difference... you must never try.
A DOM always considers his slave his EQUAL. He does NOT look down on her, rather he worships her and when it is time to drop the fantasy (read: when SHE says stop)... it is time to be real, and equal, and partners again.
A DOM is someone who must consider his submissives pleasure greater than his own... there is a fine line here, as a true submissive receives pleasure from the right amount of control, fear, and erotic pain (read: not injury or hurt)... a DOM must know where this line is... and how to address it... and how to heighten her pleasure by not going to far and really treating his submissive improperly!
A DOM is also patient and kind... it can take YEARS to train a submissive properly... and you must never do anything to make her feel uncomfortable.
I could go on and on... but the real key to everything I've said is...
Come back to us in 15 years when you've had some experience. You are tooo young to be even THINKING about being able to be a dom. You probably can't even comprehend what it means... and many DOM's can't and give S&M a bad reputation and scare the daylites out of people.
Sorry, Rant Over.
Back to our normal programming
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:43:45 PM | | Just so you know, you come across as annoying. If that works for you, then go for it. If not then you might want to change. | |
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:51:34 PM | You may have a full mailbox, but why then do you appear on NO ONES favorite's list?
Also... I have MULTITUDES of books on sadomasochism, and true DOM/SLAVE lifestyles. In NONE of them, NOR if I google them, do they mention anything about a Dragon or Wolf Dom...
You really are in your own unhealthy fantasy world.
Enjoy it... we're all happy we're over here  | |
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:52:42 PM | I agree.
You sound like a child.
I'm sorry, but as a true submissive, I'm looking for an older more mature man to dominate me.
At your age...it wouldnt happen. It's hard to look at a 19 y/o guy and think "Master".
Maybe video game buddy *shrugs* :P
Not saying youd be interested in me, im just saying, you know what i mean.
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Ooli
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 122 | |
| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 2:05:50 PM | It's ironic that you are a pagan, my little dom wannabe. As you know, pagans glorify the goddess and she's all about girl power. lol
I think the idea of being in control appeals to you, but from what I know about the lifestyle and as others have said here...the sub is the one who is in control...always. He or she gives the parameters of the "game" to the dom.
You are so young. Why don't you just relax and enjoy life a bit? Get to know a girl as an equal first, and enjoy all her sweet nuances that way. You really can't appreciate a girl/woman until you know her as a whole person....so, I think you'd just be play acting at the whole dom/sub thing without truly understanding what a woman is.
Of course, it appears that you have no idea what the lifestyle is all about. I know you say your mom and dad participate in it, but it looks like they haven't truly taught you what it's really all about, based on your observations. So, if you go and ahead and try to play at this dom/sub this without truly "getting it", someone could get hurt and that would not be cool. Why don't you do some research on your own, to find out what it's all about, if it truly interests you? | |
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lohki
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Joined: 7/22/2005
Msg: 123 | |
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lohki
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Joined: 7/22/2005
Msg: 125 | |
| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 2:19:56 PM | LOLOL..
sick..
get to school!
stay after english class. | |
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| 19YearOldDom's inbox
Posted: 2/25/2006 2:22:28 PM | Email #1: You are a total retard.
Email #2: Loser.
Email #3: OMG, you numbnut. Get a life.
Email #4: You have no clue what a dom is. You're 19. Just try dating, instead of trying to get attention.
Email #5: Etc. etc.
Not exactly something to brag about. | |
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Ooli
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 127 | |
| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 2:23:46 PM | | I just saw a show on this last night, actually. The doctor being interviewed said that people who explore this type of role playing to enhance their sex life are adventuresome in a healthy way...providing they do not try to define themselves by it. The doctor also said that engaging in BDSM as a lifestyle choice is usually indicative that a serious mental illness is at play. I found that interesting. Can't remember the name of the show...but it was on last night on Showcase for anyone interested in following up on it. | |
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| submissives on POF?
Posted: 2/25/2006 2:27:18 PM | CAN WE ALL STOP FEEDING THE TROLL... THE ONLY WAY THEY GO AWAY IS IF WE STOP GIVING HIM FOOD.
Myself included.
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| 19YearOldDom's inbox
Posted: 2/25/2006 2:29:39 PM |
lol lol molnal no i new early like age 10 that women love dom men sry if u are a sub man and try to get woman by buying flowers!!!!!! - 19YearOldDom
I'd crack you between my thighs like a walnut, kid. If you ever actually get into the BDSM lifestyle, instead of bragging about it on online forum, you'll learn that those who talk the loudest usually can't back it up.
I'm a switcher, which means that I can dish it out, or I can take it.
Dragon dom. What a hoot.
[Foghorn Leghorn voice]
Move along son. Ya bother, I say, ya bother me.
[/Foghorn Leghorn voice] | |
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| 19YearOldDom's inbox
Posted: 2/25/2006 2:45:08 PM | Come on Guys Don't give this yahoo any credit...
I'm very sure he takes none of this seriously,,and is just being a clown....something he is good at besides speling..... | |
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