| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 7:54:07 AM | I call everyone dear, honey, sweetie, cutie lol Saves ever shouting the wrong name  | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 8:14:55 AM |
People actually send you messages like "Hey cutie what's up?"?
You would be surprised how many 3, 4, 5, even 2 word messages I get. "hi beautiful","hey, what's up", "Hey ur cute", 'Hi gorgous, how are you doing?" are a few I can recall.
I understand that guys don't like to put themselves out, in case I don't respond, but I do appreciate messages that are at least a couple of sentences. | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 8:19:06 AM | | I think a compliment is appropriate at anytime. However; whats with that shouting? | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 8:25:20 AM | It all depends on people's boundaries. Some people are able to handle a comment like "hey cutie" where as others might be put off by it.
Really, i dont think there is anything wrong with it, to that extent anyway. If the comments were abit more explicit, well then that would be a different story. | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 8:26:20 AM | | Hmm, a lady is walking through the mall. And two guys are sitting on a bench. One of the guys says, "Hey, youre a cutie." She looks back at him, and gives him a curious stare. He doesnt get any conversation from her. Just that "Look", that says why are you bothering me? | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 8:28:25 AM | I agree with kelley, those one liners are annoying.
For me, names like babe, sweetie, sexy etc are terms of endearment and should be reserved for after a relationship has been established..even if it's just a friendship. Hon/hun has pretty much become universal and most ppl use it so I'm used to that one.
Usually if someone IMs me and starts off with one of those, I just roll my eyes.
"Sweetie" is a pet peeve of mine - how do you know I'm sweet if we've never spoken?? | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:31:12 PM |
For me, names like babe, sweetie, sexy etc are terms of endearment and should be reserved for after a relationship has been established..even if it's just a friendship.
agreed! | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 1:45:14 PM | Poor men, the more I read these types of threads the more I empathise with you guys out there....These are some truly confusing times for you men.
The way I see compliments is I don't over-analize the "how or whys", I am just thankful and appreciative that someone was nice enough to share a sweet thought with me they have no obligation whatsoever to do.
Some people see a compliment as a way to have someone try to gain control over them, like if a guy says to you really nice things he is trying to get something out of you. If you are in control of who you are it doesn't matter what other's motives are you will be still be ok in the end. Most the time a compliment is only that, there is no hidden agenda behind it... so enjoy! | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 2:21:47 PM | | sorry to disagree with so many of my fellow females but come on ladies!!!! I appreciate a compliment and if a man can be light hearted and fun at the same time, what is wrong with that? but hey, all the uptight woman lib, give me my rights, my respect (before I've earned it) ladies --- please keep it up because it makes more way room for the rest of us. | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 3:19:29 PM | I appreciate a compliment and if a man can be light hearted and fun at the same time, what is wrong with that? but hey, all the uptight woman lib, give me my rights, my respect (before I've earned it) ladies --- please keep it up because it makes more way room for the rest of us.
If only it worked that way. I would be happy to send my rejects to any of the ladies expressing a desire to hear from them.
I have noticed a correlation between the quality of the men and quality of the messages. Whether the guys are in their twenties or forties, guys that are smart, good-looking, and educated, for the most part, write better messages. Smart men seem to know the unwritten rules girls like I have. They know the difference between an appropriate and an inappropriate compliment. Unlike losers, when they include words like cute or beautiful lady, it's done in a manner that's complimentary rather than offensive. I may not be able to explain the difference but like the late justice Potter said regarding porn, "I can't define it, but I know it when I see it" | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 36 | |
| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 3:32:13 PM |
like if a guy says to you really nice things he is trying to get something out of you.
Of course we do ... we want sex 
But I think .. it's all in the delivery that differentiates a good come from a piggish and lame attempt ... and some men just get away with more than others  | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 4:10:43 PM | Unlike losers, when they include words like cute or beautiful lady, it's done in a manner that's complimentary rather than offensive.
could you explain when being called cute would be considered offensive? besides the obvious like
"you have a cute ass, wanna go home with me?" lol
guys that are smart, good-looking, and educated, for the most part, write better messages.
sooooo not true but then again everyone has a different experiences. the other day a guy who very good looking and seemed educated by his profile says to me: "I'm not even going to lie to you, your profile is way too long and I could not be bothered to read it but WOW you are really hot"
What a loser! he would have got away with so much more if he commented on something he liked in my profile and saved the compliment all together. THAT would be the only time a compliment loses its appeal to me.
@ arri
agreed, but there is no "delivery" on email. so why get so overanalytical? Ok I mean if a guy just writes a one liner to say "you're cute holla at me" well that doesn't even deserve a response. not because it is offensive but because he just does not put any effort into peaking my interest. on the other hand if a guy writes to say he thinks I am ________(whatever the compliment is) even if I am not interested or we are not a match I will always thank him for his sweet words. | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 4:28:59 PM | | I don't think there's anything wrong with starting an e-mail with hey cutie. I think it's nice to hear things like that now and then. Espeically if that's not the only thing said, and the rest of the e-mail shows that he did take the time to read my profile. | |
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arri
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Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 39 | |
| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 4:50:20 PM | @ SnB
I agree with that guy. You are hot but your profile is way too long. | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 4:52:22 PM | I agree with that guy. You are hot but your profile is way too long
and superficial guys like you and that guy will never get to meet me! nobody's loss, just a fact! | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 4:57:11 PM | | Interesting... Why don't people just be themselves. If you are going to have a chance with someone be yourself from the start!!! Don't say anything, anyway that is not you. If the other person does not respond then chances are that they are not for you. | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 4:58:00 PM | I've had guys message me online and go on and on about how they love the way I look.
These same men don't know me worth a damn, have never met me in person to say whether they truly do find me beautiful, and usually haven't bothered to read a single word of my profile. One guy went I met in person complimented my looks to such an extent it made him sound like he was proud of himself for choosing such a "prize", and me feel like little more than an object.
I had the same problem when I put up a creatively written ad on a pay site.
I got emails from all over the place and from all the wrong men, mainly because they has scanned my profile, seen a nice pic, and automatically emailed me without bothering to read what I was actually looking for which was included in the body of my writeup. I took the pic away and I got zero emails.
Another constant seems to be the guys that start off with "hey sexy" are looking for exactly that.
I prefer that men who contact me (when I actually have an informative profile) like something they read and find me - the PERSON - interesting, and are not automatically messaging me just because I have a cute pic. | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 5:09:42 PM |
Another constant seems to be the guys that start off with "hey sexy" are looking for exactly that.
ohhhh boy then I am in real deep doo-doo | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 5:19:04 PM |
You would be surprised how many 3, 4, 5, even 2 word messages I get. "hi beautiful","hey, what's up", "Hey ur cute", 'Hi gorgous, how are you doing?" are a few I can recall.
I understand that guys don't like to put themselves out, in case I don't respond, but I do appreciate messages that are at least a couple of sentences.
Sounds like those guys are just unimaginative and are trying to drop the burden of making the first move on you. Still, what guy would walk up to a girl at a bar and just say "Hey, what's up" and then just stand there looking at them without a thought at any kind of follow-up conversation. 'Cuz that's essentially what they're doing.
Thnx for a little insight into the other men out there, and I apologize on behalf of my gender for them assuming that you're some kind of clueless bimbo that's gonna swoon for a compliment and a pic. | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 5:21:28 PM |
Poor men, the more I read these types of threads the more I empathise with you guys out there....These are some truly confusing times for you men.
The way I see compliments is I don't over-analize the "how or whys"
Finally, someone who can see and understand my pain.
Thnks for being empathetic "cutie"  | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 5:25:18 PM | Hey steel...
Your one of the straight forward nice guys on this site. I enjoy reading many of your post where we cross paths, whether we agree on a subject or not you don't tend to toss stones around... That said, when I write/talk to a woman I try to be original as possible and hey cutie, sweety or whatever just doesn't sound right to me, but thats just me bro... If you catch what I am trying to say such as the fellow posted here:
Certain terms of endearment like Cutie, Doll honey, Darling are not appropriate until you have established a relationship. Otherwise they are received or perceived as derogitory or sexist...even if it wasn't your intent.
I am sure as stated that was not your intent but can be taken that way...
Hey man GOOD LUCK with the one who answered you!!!  | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 5:27:21 PM | could you explain when being called cute would be considered offensive? besides the obvious like "you have a cute ass, wanna go home with me?"
Other than the examples I gave in an earlier post, I cannot explain, but I know it when see it.
Also, I never said 100 percent of the smart educated guys left good message and that none of the less educated left good messages. I said there was a correlation. Now the correlation is positive but it's less than 100 percent so there are exceptions.
By the way I read your profile and I don't think it's too long. Overall, I think it is very good. The only thing I would suggest for you consideration is to retain all the positive characteristics you are seeking in a man and reduce or eliminate the negative characteristics. It is my understanding that guy are turned off by gals that state negatives, especially if there are very many.
And for anyone who might be confused or mislead by this whole thing, I didn't just toss out a "hey cutie" and leave it at that. My total email was about 7 or 8 lines, and that was the only reference to her looks. I wanted to make sure that while she could see that I was interested in her as a person (as far as her profile states) that I found her physically attractive too...
SteelHawke24, As I stated in an earlier post, you did the right thing.
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 5:35:09 PM | Lol thnx ATR, it's nice to see I don't piss everyone off 
And for anyone who might be confused or mislead by this whole thing, I didn't just toss out a "hey cutie" and leave it at that. My total email was about 7 or 8 lines, and that was the only reference to her looks. I wanted to make sure that while she could see that I was interested in her as a person (as far as her profile states) that I found her physically attractive too, and dammit I don't care who you are there's nothing wrong with that (well... maybe if you were the Pope.) | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 5:51:38 PM | @kellyisnice
I see, I read your other posts, which I should have initially and that makes a lot more sense. Especially the liking the physical comments from a guy that is cute and closer to your age than an older guy. There is def the creep factor to that I would feel the same way at your age. I feel like that now when older guys only comment on my looks in a creepy way...
As for the profile review, thank you that was very sweet of you to take the time out to review my profile. Those were some valid points you made. The thing about listening to suggestions about a profile is that after a while you can end up really losing a sense of who you are when you try to please too many people's views. Every so often I get guys emailing me about something that didn't sit right about my profile and they are entitled to their opinion but I am not here to make everyone happy. On the same token for every email I get of criticism I get 15 that are simply to tell me they love my profile and the fact that it is to the point and I know what I want. What can I say, after having many relatinships and knowing where I stand in life I know EXACTLY what I don't want and can be closed minded about that. But I am open minded to what I do want. Sometimes you don't even know you might want something until you experience it. so if I were to list only the things I want I could be missing out on something I didn't even know I liked. Life is a journey no matter what age you are and you grow every day. Does that make sense?
@ Steel I hear you and many men loud and clear. ;-) | |
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| Compliments too early?
Posted: 2/25/2006 6:12:54 PM | Steel~
I think that line is okay, but guys take that stuff way too far. I have a younger lady friend on here that is a cute girl posing sexy for all the guys. If i was a guy, that would raise a red flag. She has guys telling her all the time that any man would be lucky to have her. No woman would tell that to any man on a photo alone. For all you know the woman might be toothless and smell like a dog and you have just made a fool of yourself. Only a man would make that kind of judgement from a photo. If the woman really is cute you can bet she gets enough compliments and perhaps you could play it smart and not try to lick her feet until you know she deserves it. Remember it's you guys that make monsters out of women. None of us is responsible for our looks, mother nature is, we are only responsible for what's inside. Sometimes women use their physical assets to get what they want. Those that do usually don't have much else to offer.
Just my thoughts.......
Renee | |
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