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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 1/1/2007 10:55:35 AM | WOW! Alot of bitterness in here. Who can properly ascertain whether or not sex on the first note would condemn a relationship?
I mean, wouldn't it depend on the parties involved and the passion between them as well as they're true desires?
Booty call vs lonely induced intimacy.....Hmmmm...Interesting posts here.
A foreign subject to me but interesting none the less.
God Bless
Scott | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 1/1/2007 11:14:10 AM | you know when you meet a guy for the first time and he kisses you and holds you in his arm easy and if you have chemistry well you can guess the rest but and it will not ruin a chance to love because it just gets stronger from there might be a fast one but great and its stays with you wish you luck love is great go for it if you feel it | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 1/1/2007 11:23:15 AM | | I have learned that giving into sex at anytime before marriage can ruin a relationship. I am the kind of guy who loves emotional attachments and I have attachments formed instantly when I have sex. To this day, I still remember the scent, sound, and feel of several ladies of the night I paid to help me deal with my sexual needs. And I tell you, the feeling of wasted time and energy with women I have slept with (and I am never the initiator, I try to show them that not all men are after sex from them) still sticks with me. So, I will try very, very hard not to have sexual relations if I met the woman for the first time or if we have been committed for 3 years. If she isn't going to be my wife, I can't be her lover. | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2007 4:29:44 PM | My experience with on-line dating is that ALL of the men on these personals websites are looking for sex and sex alone. They're not interested in a REAL relationship, so it doesn't matter if you give it up on the first date or in three months, once they have what they want they move on down the road and, most likely, they're seeing someone else at the same time they're trying to get it from you (that's what has happened to me personally). This internet dating for men is like kids in a candy store. It's addictive and not emotionally healthy. I've been single for almost 15 years and engaged three times. I lost two fiancee's to cancer and one because of his spoiled rotten son. I met all three men in bars. I didn't give it up the night we met, and they didn't expect me to do so. I knew they were looking for something real because they asked for my phone number, called me the very next day, and asked me out on a real date as in dinner, a movie, etc. We continued going dancing together as that was what attracted us to each other to begin with and therefore we instantly had something in common. People can't do that on the internet. Additionally, I think there's more honesty from people in bars. If a guy is looking just for sex (or a one-night stand), you know it up front or at least by closing time.
Therefore, my advice to you is that, if you're looking just for sex, then continue checking out men on the internet. If you're looking for a real relationship, go elsewhere. Good luck! | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2007 5:27:37 PM | I personally think the best scenario for me is when I am dating someone and we just know we like each other. Things just flow and we always seem to know what the other is thinking and so on. Then there is the sex thing. I personally like building feelings and sexual tension WITH the other person over a period of time. We know it will happen at some point and when it finally does after all those nights of great kissing, then and only then do you know what sex with feelings are all about.
I have had the one nighters. Sorry but it is soo much better if the anticipation and tension is built up over time. I have great sexual drive but have many times layed there after a one nighter thinking it just wasn't as good as it could have been. It was too easy. It wasn't complete. The best way in my opinion is to become attached emotionally and physically (soft and heavy kissing, holding, etc.) over time up to the point of actually going all the way. It makes it so much better to finally get all that passion and frustration out on your lover 'till you both are spent. | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2007 5:47:29 PM | | I WOULD LIKE TO COMMENT ON THIS.I AM WHITE CAUCASION FROM A EUROPEAN COUNTRY. MY FIRST MARRIAGE TO A CANADIAN GIRL,I HAD SEX WITH HER AFTER ABOUT 3 OR 4 DATES,THE MARRIAGE LASTED 10 YRS AND WE MADE 2 KIDS,THE SECOND MARRIAGE I HAD SEX WITH HER ON THE FIRST DATE,THE MARRIAGE LASTED 14 YRS,NO KIDS.THE THIRD MARRIAGE ,A CHINESE ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT,I HAD SEX WITH ON OUR FIRST DATE,I AM STILL MARRIED TO HER,SHE IS 20 YRS YOUNGER THAN MYSELF,WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER AND I MAKE SURE SHE GETS HER ORGASM ALMOST EVERY TIME WE DO IT.MY FIRST WIFE NEVER HAD AN ORGASM EVEN UP TO DATE.I ALSO WAS IGNORANT ABOUT FEMALE "GEOGRAPHY",BECAUSE THEY DID NOT TEACH US THIS STUFF IN SCHOOL.THIS PROBABLY WAS PARTIALLY THE REASON FOR THE MARRIAGE BREAKDOWN.THE SECOND WIFE DID HAVE ORGASMS BUT FOUND A MORE ATTRACTIVE GUY. MY PRESENT WIFE I FELT SORRY FOR HER BECAUSE I FEEL I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF HER ILLEGAL IMMIGRANT SITUATION BUT I FEEL I MADE IT UP TO HER.SHE GOT DEPORTED, EVEN AFTER I MARRIED HER, I HELPED HER AND EVEN WITH HER SON TO COME BACK TO CANADA.TODAY SHE IS A HAPPY CITIZEN OF THIS COUNTRY.DRAW YOUR CONCLUSIONS FROM THIS.I BELIEVE SEX EDUCATION IS IMPORTANT EVEN MORE SO THAN SAY HISTORY,I LOST 3 HOUSES THROUGH DIVORCES TO MONEY- HUNGRY LAWYERS,ETC.,AND DOWNRIGHT EVIL JUDGES WHO KNOW VERY,VERY WELL THE HYPOCRACY OF OUR LEGAL SYSTEM THAT IS SOOO CONCERNED ABOUT THE CHILDREN BUT HAS NO PROBLEMS TO IMPOVERIZE THE HUSBAND SO HE HAS NOTHING TO OFFER HIS CHILDREN NEAR THE END OF HIS LIFE.PLEASE KEEP IDENTIFYING INFO CONFIDENTAL IF YOU ARE GOING TO PUBLISH THIS. | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 1/26/2007 5:58:12 PM | Two relationships started like this in my life. One became the mother of my son. Meeting them was like being struck by lightning.
The two best relationships in my life, so far, strangely enough.......
Based on my experience, then, I would have to say that having sex DOESN'T damage the chance of having a relationship... but may, in fact, be an indication of the kind of chemistry possible. | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2007 10:49:12 AM | I have to agree with the previous poster. It was like getting hit by lightening. The critics here probably have not experienced it to know what they are talking about. I too experienced this twice. The lightening analogy fits 100%. It woke me up to what life could be really like and should really be like, and what life probably is like, for those lucky few. Now I walk around with an aluminum pole in my hands.
My theory is it happens when all of the right circumstances are present and sometimes I find myself analysing just what exactly those circumstances were. Now how do I re-create them? Anyone care to experiment with me? | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2007 10:53:19 AM | Oh, now I am relying to my own post. I have to agree with the previous lady who said that there are more honest people in bars. Most folks are honest when drunk, I'll grant you that.
But, I'd like to think that there are honest people and dishonest people everywhere you look.
Come to think of it, one of those times did involve alcohol....... | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2007 11:15:16 AM | I was asking myself the same question over and over and when I came to conclusion that life is too short to bother yourself with similar thoughts or thinking in advance what would be If i did this or that in the certain moment instead of doing what I "feel" in that very moment and just go with the flow...I went with the flow and it was great:)
PS: British author Samuel Johnson would say;
Life admits not of delays; when pleasure can be had, it is fit to catch it: every hour takes away part of the things that please us, and perhaps part of our disposition to be pleased.
I would say :Enjoy the moment! | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2007 12:58:31 PM | | In my opinion having sex on the first date, doesn't ruin the chance for a long term relationship, not knowing the person that you slept with and now are dealing with ruins it. The first date should be to get to know about eachother, after sex, getting to know someone is harder. You jump steps and you take chances. During sex you get to know eachother physically, if you don't know eachother emotionally first you are taking chances on sleeping with a real jerk. Sometimes it works out okay. I myself have not had long term relationships with first nighters, but I know people who have. It is a crap shoot. | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:09:56 PM | enjoy the moment sooo...true! i have experienced both sides of this. hopped in the sac very quickly as the sexual tension had been building between us both over time already, before the date...was AWESOME!! but on a regular rule i do try to "be strong" and stick to the "not on first date rule" just been there where i have woken as well and felt a little less of myself for jumping the gun. building up the sexual tension between two people is probably the best part of it all...cause once released...ohhh ya baby!! LOL
so actual ruin a relationship...i'd have to say that all depends on the other person. if sex ruins any relationship there is other issues lurkin. my opinion anyway! sex shouldn't ruin anything!..well maybe a lamp..or bed frame or two....LOL | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:20:57 PM | hi
you are so right, yes it indeeds ruins a relationship. im glad that you said what you did, cause it is so true in every way.
and if you don't have sex and he don't come back oh well, then he wasn't worth having in the first place..kissing and hugging is awesome but that's it. my motto is no sex till the 5-6 th date...
good luck all maybe that is why im still alone oh well. i wasn't brought up that way. | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:37:10 PM | Hmmm....call me old fashioned but I definitely think that sex should NOT happen on a first date. It would just leave both people feeling overwhelmed and anti-climatic! Part of the attraction of a new relationship is the sexual tension! So if you jump right into a bed (couch, back seat of car, jacuzzi, etc) the mystery is gone and there isn't anything left to savor BUT more sex (even if incredible, best waited for!!) I am a waiter by choice. Sex is special and reserved for those who are in love. A bit parochial to some but instinct to me. It's better when waited for, looked forward to and done at the right time. Plus you won't have to question your morality the next day right??  | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:37:54 PM | | Hmmm....call me old fashioned but I definitely think that sex should NOT happen on a first date. It would just leave both people feeling overwhelmed and anti-climatic! Part of the attraction of a new relationship is the sexual tension! So if you jump right into a bed (couch, back seat of car, jacuzzi, etc) the mystery is gone and there isn't anything left to savor BUT more sex (even if incredible, best waited for!!) I am a waiter by choice. Sex is special and reserved for those who are in love. A bit parochial to some but instinct to me. It's better when waited for, looked forward to and done at the right time. Plus you won't have to question your morality the next day right?? | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/24/2007 11:24:26 AM | I think well adjusted MATURE people don't hang the future on what happens with the sex the first time.
In other words..it doesn't matter. If someone is really interested in you, things will progress. Men, or women for that matter, that have the "Oh, she gave up the panties the first night" mind set aren't mature enough for me to worry about.
That being said, I have to have a certain level of comfort with someone to even be able to ENJOY sex. Usually can't get there the first time I meet a stranger. Online relationships are different....they count as "time served" for me if I've really spent time getting to know him on the phone and online. | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 2/24/2007 11:36:55 AM | Come on people... there is way to much thought put into this, over anylyze and talk this to death. It just means that there is passion between you.... That's a great sign, go with it. Whether or not a relationship develops isn't going to be about just sex, relax, however....... I'll take a passionate relationship over a blah one any day.
David | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 4/28/2007 9:38:41 AM | this is not totally..................not all the men maybe some of them we talking 87% and the rest are propably looking for sumething else........freindship, freind, travel partner,....but i guess we all dont get to choose who we wanna be with cause it just happens.........and we might know deep down we care about someone and would hav done anything for them on our part....but its never the same on there part.......dating site are more complex...........people would propably feel more rejected on here than there normal lives....................i think i lost track of the topic.......ooh yeah...Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance of a relationship well its like saying do you believe in love at first site ................the answer is .........
Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance of a relationship = YES & NO
do you believe in love at first site =YES but its one sided cause it happened to me..and we got to together after a long cat and mouse chase.........i"ll you this woman dont make thinks easy.....if you get laid on your first date. its because part of them wanted to do that as well.........cause i dont they"re eazy.......i"ll hush up now | |
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| Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?
Posted: 4/28/2007 9:43:15 AM | In an earlier post I mentioned a male friend of mine who had sex with a woman the night they met (last November), and their relationship was going strong.
Well, they moved in together 3 months later, and they are now engaged to be married in December.
So much for the "men won't marry women who have sex on the first date" theory. There are exceptions to every "rule". | |
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