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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 1/11/2007 9:31:01 AM | | Well, being the person I am i would train him or school him....but, if you don't that the time or drive to do that let him down gently...or invest in some porn movies for him to study!!! | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 1/11/2007 9:58:18 AM |
so here is the situation .... met guy liked guy... saw guy for a bit but when it came down to sex YUCK it was like being 12 again total turned me off how to let him down nicley or make that hard attempt at making him good
In the end the only person who can answer that is you. If that is the only shortcoming (and I am not making a pun) and you feel he is worth while for the long term with all other things considered, then make an effort. If it works, then life is good. If it does not then you cannot blame yourself for not trying. You will know soon enough. Be subtle and try to guide him. "Mmmmmm, that feels nice..." or "Slower..." are all it takes. If he is a responsive lover her will follow your guidance and improve. If not, then you are no worse off.
Sometimes lovers are just not compatible in bed and it is obvious. I have found women will give an excuse rather than the reason for a breakup and that solves nothing long term. If the person does not know where they are deficient then they can never get any better. I know I am not typical, but I want honesty. If I cannot provide what she wants then I will leave. One example, a lady who was into pain and could not come without it. Does nothing for me and we went our separate ways. I told her we were not compatible and why.
You are in no way alone. If people don't start talking about this stuff then it will never get better. Sexuality is taboo and probably always will be...
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 1/31/2007 11:38:30 PM | ... the situation was described to me thus........
the man was HUNG. I mean he packed a whole CN Train and 1 spare caboose in his Y fronts. Unfortunately, he was convinced that it was all he needed to be a good lover. His approach to intimacy was "akin to bullriding at the Calgary Stampede; rough, hard, fast, brief". Think of a thousand Jackhammers going at it at a construction site. Think of a malfunctioning semi-automatic weapon, spraying bullets indiscriminately in all directions, leaving death and destruction in its wake. Think of a person with a machete in the middle of the Amazon, slashing indiscriminately at foliage and animals... At this point I was laughing so hard that the story was abruptly terminated (the shame!). I couldn't believe she's put up with such abuse. Apparently she was always left with a friction burns inside her after sessions that the man called 'love-making'. OUCH!
The final stroke was made when he beamed with pride after making her bleed.... We basically had to pull her out of that place by her hair. Sheesh! No amount of love can ever make up for such incompetence.  Someone needs to take that man to Sex School...
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/5/2007 8:23:03 AM | is this a lipstick feminist joke? lol
seriously, this depends if you want to keep him or leave him,.
Leave him and say nothing or stay and commiunicate like a human being and not an animal trained by Britany Spears. | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/5/2007 9:32:44 AM | It really depends on how 'bad' he is.
If it's just obvious that he doesn't know his way around the female anatomy, I'll speak up and give him some pointers.
If it's obvious that he doesn't give one whit about you or your orgasm (Way too many of these men around I tells ya!), I stop talking to them. They're selfish. | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/12/2007 10:45:04 AM | ok, try giving him gifts of videos like how to??????? etc,and books.then make a night of testing him out on the stuff he studied,he'll think its kinky and wild, and brag to his friends and be the big stud, and you'll get what you want. someone who gets ya off. ok and no one gets hurt. see. | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/12/2007 1:29:37 PM | i know that if there's something lacking in my department, I wanna know. I personally believe in saying exactly what I like (yes even the weird stuff) No one comes to the table with the same experiences. Some people have had no variety intheir lives. But if you show them...and they're open to new things....why not explore.
On the other hand if this guy just absolutely does not want to evolve and learn new things..and is closed to any suggestions...dump the chump. | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/12/2007 1:51:37 PM | "so here is the situation .... met guy liked guy... saw guy for a bit but when it came down to sex YUCK it was like being 12 again tottal turned me off how to let him down nicley or make that hard attempt at making him good"
Wow, you had sex when you were 12?
ok, umm...admittedly sex is not perfect with everyone and women are no exception. But I think if two people really like each other then being open and talking/exploring is a great start. If that can't happen then well it is good bye. Like communication, intelligence, respect, honesty...sex is equally important. | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/12/2007 4:36:59 PM |
so here is the situation .... met guy liked guy... saw guy for a bit but when it came down to sex YUCK it was like being 12 again tottal turned me off how to let him down nicley or make that hard attempt at making him good
You need to be open with him and discuss what what you're into. Good sex starts with good communication and creativity. Anytime you start having sex with someone new it takes a little time to find out what pleases them. Sex should get better as you get to know someone. His last girlfriend may have thought he was an excellent lover. It's different strokes for different folks and what turned on his last girlfriend is obviously not doing it for you. You can make a person better in bed if you communicate with them. | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/12/2007 7:44:44 PM | Sometimes guys are bad in bed because they have been with women who are just as bad. All men and women are different in what they want and what they like.
If the guy is a great guy in all other departments and you really like him then take the time to teach him a few things. Most of us don't want to be a teacher and think the guy should know everything but plain and simple all of them don't.
The worst thing you can do is tell a guy he sucks in bed-- He will never ever forget that!!
Sometimes you have to teach a guy what is good for you---- guide him......If he is not a good student and is unable to grasp things then maybe think about your options then-- intimacy in a relationship is SOOOO important but if you guys can't jive together then hey-- what can you do!
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/12/2007 7:57:27 PM | | hm well instead of telling him he sucks in bed why don't you just show him what it is that turns you on!!sure it might be a little more work for you at first but in the long run wouldnt it pay off?!?! | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/12/2007 8:29:56 PM | | You know, there was a lot of things I wanted to say from all these diffrent kind of posts, but me being the dreaded *makes the duhduhduh noise* virgin even at the age of 21 i'm not gonna bother lol. I mean I am willing to learn and such when the time comes i'm not stupid or naive I know i'll suck in bed until I learn more. But i've met a few ladies that laugh when they hear i'm a virgin at this age, I don't see whats so funny about it but heck if they are going to laugh they arn't for me imo. Anyways i'd say train him if you think he is worth it it would be of the best intrest, you never know he could have little experiance in bed or like others said had ladies that were to lazy to train him or also sucked in bed *shrugs* to each their own I guess ^^; | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/12/2007 8:32:50 PM | Hmmmm, let me think...uhmm...How about you GROW - UP ?!@*
(Pro)
Forums like these are quite effecting at filtering out those women who are not worth my time.
(Con)
That sex has completely lost it's spiritual and emotional bennifits because some women are just not happy un-less it full-fills their indignant self-righteous ideal of some Hollywood protrayed mind-blowing orgasm.
It's sad that the, Sex and Dating forum is heavily over-populated with these selfish physicaly inclined fetish threads which only act to trivialize sex to its lowest common ugliness.
I suggest you get over your-self Ms. Queen-Bee, the world is too large to only be filled with those worker bee males whose only instinctual wish is to satisfy your urges. | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/13/2007 12:58:36 AM | Ive just come across this thread and its given be the biggest laugh Seriously though a mans ego can be very fragile. Saying the wrong thing could give him a major flop for a long time after and we all know how disappointing that can be dont we girls!
Chemistry is so important between people. I remember discussing one man with a friend (naughty) who was seeing an ex of mine. I never rated him much in bed but she thought he was amazing! Maybe I didnt bring out the best in him or perhaps our expectations were different. Who knows. | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/13/2007 1:04:30 AM | Is he worth the work? Your right you can always train a dog but then your the master. Tell him you want to try something different, leave it up to him. If he can't do it then maybe he just isn'tready. Be nice and give him the boot. Don't crush the poor **stard. | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/13/2007 3:25:50 AM | Haven't we all figured this out by now? Everyone likes different things. Everyone's bodies require something just a little different, two strokes to the left, one the right for one girl might work like clockwork, but girl number 2 is a whole new deal. All you can do is tell him what YOU like, because that's what matters. Some girls are easy to get off, some are hard, but it doesn't matter if his ex thought he was god if whatever he's doing isn't cutting it for you. If you need clitoral stimulation and he isn't doing it, ASK FOR IT! Like it soft and slow, hard and rough? Let him know.
It's amazing how unwilling or unable some people are to discuss things that are so important to each other as orgasms. I mean come on, I'd say that it matters, and any progress you can make towards getting them is a step or two in the right direction. | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 2/13/2007 10:08:26 AM | wow...I just skimmed through most of the responses here and I must say - reading that some women will throw men to the wolves if they don't perform well on the first or second try is very disconcerting.
First, i hate to use the phrase 'it takes two to tango', but let's face it - if the guy 'sucks', that is partially a reflection on the partner with whom he's being intimate. If one person is 'bored' with what's going on, then for God's sake - turn it up a notch! Get the ball rolling... If you're 'experienced' enough to determine (from the first encounter) that your partner 'sucks', then why not use your world of experience to make the encounter more enjoyable/ more to your liking?
Second, it's been my experience that sex can be 'somewhat awkward' the first/ second time around (usually b/c you're just getting to know the person), but gets better the more often it you do it. As for myself, i don't necessarily want a woman to become intimidated by my 'freakish ways' in the bedroom on the first encounter ... my 'freakishness' becomes more and more exposed as my comfort zone/level with that person increases.
Further, I recently started sleeping with a woman who initially only wanted penetration... for me, that was a turn-off in a big way... almost NO foreplay. It's very difficult to have fun during sex if a person makes it so mechanical. I explained to her that this was a problem... she took what i said as 'constructive criticism' and believe me - the escapades escalated to new heights.
...and also ... I have to say it... Hygiene, women. If a guy's performance is lacklustre in any way, please consider the possibility that you may not be as 'fresh' as you think and that that may be the problem. Make sure kitty's clean if you expect your man to explore the nether-regions the way you want him to. (yes, yesss.. i know this goes for guys too. But i'm a clean freak that way, so blah: ) | |
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| how to tell a guys you just dont like him in bed
Posted: 4/6/2007 12:40:07 AM | | See this is the thing > women say oh he is just a three minute man > then they say 'well he was humping away and I had wok in the morning > can you see where things come to the wrong conclusion and to be honest if I was in bed with someone that felt this way then I would gladly allow them to sleep on the couch :) | |
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