| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 8:22:32 PM | and why should the man do the chasing these days....i mean it is 2006....come on ladies...what ever happened to equality..heck i find it rreally cool if some lady apporaches me and tells me she is interested in me......it is vary flattering.........so if you see someone you like..just go for it....
hugzz
mike
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 8:26:37 PM | Ok Will once again Kudos but I just wish you could put it into fewer words lol You hit the proverbial nail on the head with all your posts. Oh I I knew what you meant and I think most did.
You are right what just happened to the simpler things in life. It is like everything technology has progressed and so has the world now things are just to complicated. Wouldn't it be nice to just simplify the world again? I'm not saying to get rid of all of the technology just simplify things.
When I first made my profile I found myself like many others making up this huge laundry list of what I was looking for. Good thing I proof read it. As I was I had an epiphany. So if you look at my profile there is some humor but most of all honesty as I'm just looking for a woman who is willing to start a conversation and see where it goes.
Simplify your lives people and don't put too much crap into what everyone else thinks you should be doing and get back to your own intuition as it usually is right. Don't make up these lists as they tend to be dreams more than reality. Perfection is always just another profile away.......right? lomao
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| Men.. Do you have to chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 8:30:09 PM | sexyandbrainy...
No hard feelings taken at all. It's all good. 
You said something that really made my head spin in your last post, though. And I must ask you to explain it, as you asked me to explain what I meant...
and sometimes women act opposite to how they normally are when they really like a guy
But why? WHY???? Now, I don't need you to explain what it means. I know that's the truth. Oh lord, how well I know. How well every man knows. But please, please, can you explain to us WHY??? Men never do that. And that very point has been at the crux of my case this evening. Men are honest. "Hi. I like you. Can I take you out to dinner?" But women just get all... stupid. For lack of a better word, believe me! The things they do, and the way they behave, just cannot be described any other way. And these are very intelligent women in many cases! Is it some instinctive, deep-rooted evolutionary genetic holdover from your highschool days? Please, can you (or any of the terrific ladies in this thread) shed some light on the motivations (if any, and bizarre as they surely must be) behind this? Why do you do that?
That serves absolutely no purpose whatsoever, aside from a destructive one to any potential budding relationship! It's completely backwards and downright crazy.
I apologize very much for this, but please understand how I mean it ... and that I don't believe it, as a rule, in any normal, day to day, non-dating setting... You've heard the occasionally uttered stereotype that women are "irrational", and all that... well, this is where it comes from. This is why a lot of men really believe that.
What is the "why"? Or is there one?
-- Will | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 8:32:02 PM | see this book comes up with all kinds of scenerios where if the guy hasn't called you..."he's just not that into you.." no excuses..If he says he's been busy with work and such "he's just not that into you"...
I read it and the way i feel is you might be missing out on something really wonderful if you just decide to move on cause you think he's not that into you.
guys what do you think? If you don't make a point to call someone does that mean you just aren't that into them? When you are into them do you make it a point no matter how busy you are to take a couple of minutes to call or text? | |
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| Men.. Do you have to chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 8:33:19 PM | Will
I have been guilty of this... trust me it's not intentional. When I really really like a guy and it takes me off gaurd I almost freeze up, I get more quiet then normal and when I do talk I can't quite spit out what i'm trying to say lol It baffles me.... I get to nervous and excited and my personality goes bye bye sometimes... Hasnt happened that often and I pray it never does again.. but it's not always a choice or us monitering what we do or say.. sometimes it's just nerves  | |
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| Men.. Do you have to chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 8:38:36 PM | Will that reaction isn't always just reserved for women I've seen many a man do the exact same thing. Call it nerves or whatever but sometimes it happens. If I get tongue tied or stupid I usually look for a way to redeem myself which usually at that point makes it even worst.
So I but skittles for her.  | |
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| Men.. Do you have to chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 8:48:39 PM | Exactly what Tessie said!
The point was that we don't do it intentionally. It's not a game it's not a trick up our sleeves it is simply that we get shy or maybe it's from the mixture of excitement and fear of being with someone that really entices our every sense that we react opposite to how we normally act. I guess you might even call it the guard going up. We ARE human afterall contrary to popular belief! :-P
Don't kid yourself though... it happens to men also. I've heard it a million times. So when I made that reference it was because I was trying to draw a parallel to when the men have said to me you are hard to read, vs the possibility that I really liked them. While I know that I am an open person I tend to close up when I am blown away by someone.
I think it is more natural than you choose to believe. and men DO do that. Men have other ways of doing it, for example men do it in the early stages of a relationship when they experience too much intimacy, almost without fail I have seen that in almost all my exes. When a guy experiences too much intimacy it's almost like he needs to pull away to refigure out what he is feeling and what he wants from the relationship. Is he feeling love? Is her just really into the sex? I he headed for long term haven? what? so he pulls away and suddenly becomes distant. when I was younger I used to think it was weird. Now that I understand it I let it happen and almost inevitably they come back full force and feeling very reassured of just where they stand. Perhaps to us women this happens early on and it's less about love but more about knowing that we are so excited to be in the presense of someone that really captivates us we go all wacky... lol go figure... | |
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| Men.. Do you have to chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 8:56:00 PM | triplebp...
You are absolutely correct, man! I agree with you 1000%. I am a very old-fashioned, "classic" kind of guy. In my opinion, everything was better decades ago, and mostly everything today is terrible by comparison.
Films/movies... Give me all the classics! The greatest films are from 30s, 40s, and 50s. There were a bunch of good ones in the 60s and 70s, too, but once 1980 hit, and continuing on to today, getting worse every year, 99% of the movies made are trash and crap.
Music... I want the classics again. The best music is all from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. All the classic rock. Now, yes, I grew up with metal and alternative, through the late 80s and early 90s, and yes... there was a TON of quality music even up until then. So music quality lasted a little longer than film, anyway. Just view my "Lists of Favorite Things" in my profile, to see the examples of what I think is the best in film, music, literature, and TV. No way I can post it all here. lol. But anyway, today's current modern music... not one artist of quality anywhere. The only talent still making albums are the Foo Fighters, but they're not "modern". They're the last survivors of the early/mid 90s.
Literature... give me the classics every day. Books these days? A handful of gems in a mountain of pointless fluff and nonsense. Just look at the one that inspired this thread! lol!
TV... There is not a single quality program on network television these days. I refuse to watch the networks. I haven't had CBS, NBC, ABC, or FOX on in my apartment since the middle of the last decade. Networks don't want quality programming. They want more mindless, retarded commercial garbage that they can force feed to the masses. Networks don't want their audiences thinking anymore. The last network show I ever watched was Homicide, when it was on NBC. When that went off the air, gone were the days of any iota of quality or creativity on network TV. All the best TV shows? Again... the classics. All in the Famly, The Jeffersons, Leave it to Beaver, The Honeymooners, The Twilight Zone... hell, the list is in my profile. The only place for good TV, and new creative, educational, mentally stimulating shows, is cable. Granted, even there you have to do some searching, and some weeding out, but it's there to be found.
Even something I know absolutely nothing at all about... (strange for a guy, I know)...
Cars... The only thing I know about cars is that the best ones are the old ones. From the 50s and 60s. The big rectangular metal boats. Oh man, were they beautiful! Now that was classy. And SAFE! They were like tanks. What do we have now? These little sissified sporty crushbox jobs, with their rounded off corners... and all made of plastic. Sure, drive around in something some lunatic widdled out of Tupperware.
And dating methods... well, I think I covered that already. lol! The simple, old fashoned quality of basic honesty that is all but gone today. It's really sad.
I believe that "the older, the better" is true of virtually everything in life. Hell, even cigarette prices! lol. I guess I'm just an old fashioned guy in every sense, who was just born a few decades too late.
-- Will | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 9:06:40 PM | What do you girls want ?
Do you want us to jump all over you and make fools of ourselves all the time?
Doesn't it occur to women that some men have a sense of propriety ?
Why is it that I get the impression; that if a man isn't calling and paying attention to you every second of the day, then YOU think we arn't that interrested ?
Well, maby we're NOT that interrested. | |
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mako28
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Joined: 2/23/2006
Msg: 89 | |
| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 11:16:45 PM | If you define chase by leading someone on / lying so you can fulfill you own lack of confidence, then I will agree that those types are scum. But it doesn't change the fact that many of their "victims" will try to convert them. Maybe to try to change their ways, maybe to try to make them feel bad. But they almost always have an effect on us. We are drawn to people whom will either raise us up, or that we can tear down. The question is can you take this dynamic and use it in a healthy manner in a relationship? I say yes.
As for me, if the woman I meet isn't an obvious fit (love at first site thing) she better know how to make me chase her a bit if she wants to pursue a relationship. Understand: I want to chase her. If she is at my beckoning call, I will lose interest. Some will say this means I am a "boy" and not yet mature. I think it's the opposite. I am very confident in my self...I have no problem with a woman giving me an obstacle or two to pass in order for her to confirm that I am in it for the right reasons and not just trying to get in her pants.
If you are looking for a woman that will not "play the chase game"...why? Because all you want is an easy path into her, or you don't feel like you have what it takes to deserve her? | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 11:18:47 PM | | We don't get subtle hints, we don't get obvious hints. That "hard to get" game you all play will work...but most of the time only on "player" type guys who know the game and how to play it. Playing hard to get is just that...nothing more than a game. Real men don't go for games and real women don't play them. We chase because we have to, not to generalize because I'm sure some guys like to chase after women, but if women were to show interest and make the first move I for one wouldn't feel the need to chase, at least not as much. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 11:31:47 PM | @MAKO28
WOW excellent points !!! You totally get it. That is what I have been talking about all along, that is what the chase is about. It is about letting the man pursuing you while you lead him down the right path of encouragement, affection when the time is right, and positive feedback. It's the way it has always worked in the mating ritual.
Gees what more do some of you guys want these days? You have beer delivery services that will bring booze to your homes, you have porn at your fingertips when you are feeling frisky, and you can dial out for any food you wish at most times of the day. Now you want us to come a knocking on your doors to offer our love to you too?
If you are looking for a woman that will not "play the chase game"...why? Because all you want is an easy path into her, or you don't feel like you have what it takes to deserve her?
Just to add to your post that a lot of men will complain on here that they won't chase women and they want us to take the initiative and so on so forth.....FYI
for every one of you that is being super laid back about this there are 20 guys who are willing to do the pursuing and to go after what they feel they can get. and guess who is going to end up with the girl? I'll give you a clue: he won't be on here complaining about how he is tired of having to do all the work, you do the math. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 11:52:21 PM | Just remember, 2 can play the game.
I've spent my life listening to women moan and complain about how come some guy doesn't come arround enough and treat her right.
The game works both ways. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/26/2006 11:54:01 PM | | well what makes u think a woman wants someone at their finger tips either.. I personaly like a guy that requires a bit more then the average from a woman... "those who are easy to get arent worth getting" the guys that fall over u going gaga and are always trying to chase u can put u off a bit to.... I like being woo'd I don't like being chased.. My tag playing days were over in grade school | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:02:49 AM | The art of seduction is the ability to make the other person think about you when your not there.
Sometimes the best impression you can make is a good exit.
After all that's what the Lone Ranger did, " Hi Yo Silver, Away ! ", Who was that masked man ? | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:24:23 AM | Yes thats the word...seducing...& charming is far better then chasing....
some take chasing too far thats when it becomes stalking........
someone on here was stalking me once, I noticed this as I was following her around | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:30:49 AM | There is a great deal of solid information on this thread for people to check out, great discussion.
I think we are mixing up "the chase" with being a "wussy lame guy".
Basically put, there are like 2 ways to go about approaching a girl. You can be straightforward and honest (and risk outright rejection)
Or you can be indirect and increase her attraction and interest in you (so she can't really straight up REJECT you).
And there is a third way but im not gonna mention that jus yet..
For example. Say I stroll into a bar or club, and see a lovely girl and a few of her friends.
If I approach right for the girl well, first there's her friends who will most likely C-B, but if i am able to get past them, i am going straight up to the girl with.
"Wow you are so beautiful.
Do you have a boyfriend?
What do you do...? " Blah blah buying questions, stuff girls hear all the time.
Sometimes it works sometimes it doesnt, but its pretty direct and honest cuz Im letting a girl know how i feel right then and there and then the ball is in her court. Thas the way most guys, myself included, have talked to girls all our lives. thinking we are so original and fresh, as if she hasn't heard the same "wow you have such pretty hair, do you come here often" over and over a million times. With this, you are being sweet and real, but she has a chance to say NO to any kind of date or number request.
However, if I approach this lovely lady in an indirect way, perhaps by engaging her and her friends in a game, or doing a little magic trick or telling them a story, the girl might wonder.."what's his deal? and why isnt he fawning all over me like the other dozen guys who've come up to me and my girlfriends? does he like one of them? Maybe there's something wrong with me? why isnt he paying me any ATTENTION!??" This is not to say that all girls are ATTENTION-Whores. That's far from the truth. but girls love a guy who is mysterious and stands out.
So when it comes to this issue of chasing and not chasing i think both MEN and WOMEN have to have the chase. Men need it cuz we are just damn competitive, and we love the feeling of really earning a girls trust, admiration, and affection, as well as beating all those other chumps who couldnt get the job done. and WOMEN need it, they need to chase in order to feel excited about their guy, so that they aren't "settling". I don't care what anyone says, girls LOVE to brag about their guy to their friends jus as much as guys do, its jus we brag about different things, sometimes *wink wink*.
Great post! | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:38:21 AM | Precisely.
Just like the lyric from the song Come Together.
" Got to be good look'n cause he's so hard to see... ". | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:46:46 AM | | hmmm I dunno if I would wonder why he isnt paying me all the attention I would prob find it refreshing cause he seems to just wnat to hang out with everyone and have some entertainment.... so it still might work lol | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:52:52 AM | | there should be no chase if it's meant to be...like tessie mentioned earlier, the two people involved have to meet somewhere in the middle. | |
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| Men.. Do you have to have the chase?
Posted: 2/27/2006 1:40:08 AM | Yes, Yes, Lets all meet in the middle, thats the way.
That's also where most problems with relationships are. Neither person can agree on where the middle is.
I say my %50 is right there. She says her %50 is more over there.
That's why people come out feeling cheated all the time. One person or the other feels like they arn't getting their fair share. Some people actualy think that if they can get the other person to do more in the relationship than they do, then somehow they " win ".
Love and Romance is not a competition, there is no " winning ", except in the playing.
It's like playing catch with a frizbee; it's not a competition between 2 people.
Your playing well, when both people throw it so the other person can catch it. | |
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