| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 11:47:53 AM | She used to have cybersex with him, before she started dating me.
But I wasn't born yesterday.
I think sending photos of your feet to a foot fetishist is a sign that they are flirting and that there is some sexual tension and play going on. She also sent a couple of pics of herself in her hot Halloween costume. Perhaps it's not full blown cybersex, but maybe it is ? Sometimes "play" is more telling than cybersex anyway.
I don't know.
I wonder if she is going to be this way in real life too ?
Is it wrong to interpret too much flirting as a sign someone is not so serious ? Could be a self-esteem thing too. And what exactly is "too much" flirting ?
I'm starting to think sending pics is "too much", but I wonder if I'm just being too conservative ? | |
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~iiCe~
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Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 22 | |
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| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 12:07:17 PM |
If we start fighting, or things take a turn for the worse, I've no doubt she would start chatting with this guy more, and possibly hook up with him if things got that bad.
It's kind of like he is a threat hanging over my head or something.
Sounds like a nice woman.. I await your next thread on how she cheated on you with him. | |
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| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 1:58:54 PM | Wow, I just tried to have a nice, reasonable conversation with her about this ... and she nearly flipped out. She became very defensive.
Even worse ... she told me a boldface lie.
ugh !
I'd much rather have a flirty, kinky, honest girlfriend over a flirty, kinky, dishonest one !
Damn. I won't ever be able to completely trust this one now.
I feel like I'm entering into that "just enjoy the sex" phase of the relationship. | |
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| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 2:10:47 PM | What you have said to me is just flirting.But watch out!..it could turn into more.I think sending that guy feet pics is the least of your worrys.watch out for ass & vigina pics.
But what you have said,theres nothing to worry about right now id say.U said you think she likes him.as in how?...i think all women want to be wanted by other men outside there main man that they have at the moment.because they beleave there main man tells them what they want to hear.but strange men will tell you what you want to hear to get what they want that your already geting.Men backstab men daily. | |
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| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 2:14:44 PM | Sending pics of your feet to some guy on IM is not that huge a deal.
Now I have a trust issue. I know for a fact she has told me a blatant lie in regards to this.
I can put up with almost anything, but once trust goes flying out the window things start to just look like shit. | |
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| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 2:29:36 PM | WOW What to do eh ?
In all honesty, I stay in contact with all ex-gf's if they want to, however, I think most of their boyfriends DO NOT LIKE THIS !
Personally, I like to stay in contact, because making friends is a long and involved process, so real bonds develop. I have no interest in the women sexually, but that is just ME. I sure can't speak for other fellas.
However, one way I overcome some of the concerns of the new b/f and hubbys, is I attempt to make friends and usually only see them as a couple, or for working reasons, since I do renovations, I am often the first one called when they want someone reliable and honest.
I hope each of the couple is happy with our friendship.
BUT, often it doesn't work that way, because the b/f either doesn't trust her, or doesn't trust me. So, I just back off and be sure I only contact them as a couple.
I have had some women approach me for more than just friendship, and I stay honest and tell them we are "better friends" if we don't get too personal.
Sometimes shit happens and even though there is nothing going on, people still assume the worst. If it isn't fact, then you SHOULD NOT ASSUME. | |
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| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 2:39:34 PM | I'm not assuming.
I have evidence enough to convict her in a court of law on this one. The judgement passed down by the jury would be unanimous ... no doubt about it.
Oh jeez ... trust is such a fickle thing, and perhaps the most important thing holding a relationship together.
Why couldn't she just come clean ? If she had, it would have been no big deal. | |
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| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 2:49:50 PM | Originally, I just responded to the OP and the title, but now I have read the thread.
Lying isn't excusable, however whenever you push someone into a corner and they do not know what is coming, people go into 'survival mode'.
You may have done damage by confronting her. She NOW doesn't trust YOU.
She may never have had sex with this man and even though she might 'cybersex' and flirt online, some women do that for amusement and as a TEST of the integrity of a man. I know many women who mistakenly TEST men by leading them to 'cybersex', then they scream PERVERT and block and delete.
Trust me dude, you need to get kooler about your 'relationship' or you won't be having one, no matter how LIBERAL and RELAXED you thing YOU might be.
What it really comes down to, either the two of you communicate and have similar goals, or you don't. You cannot decide what she should, could or might do. Just do what is right for you and more importantly, YOU HAVE TO DO WHAT IS NECESSARY TO HAVE A GREAT RELATIONSHIP. | |
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| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 2:57:11 PM | Yeah, she did go into survival mode.
But not because I was unreasonable, or being angry or confrontational really. She just did it to cover her own ass. I told her it was no big deal, that I would just appreciate her being honest about it.
She thought about it, got scared because she knows if it's good enough for her, it's good enough for me, and she decided to take the easy way out and just lie. Simple as that.
She knows I'm flexible about the terms of the relationship. She just doesn't want to be upfront. She was afraid it would change the way I feel about her. So she lied, thinking she could get away with it. | |
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| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 3:08:42 PM | She is sending sexy pics to another guy...
she is lying to you....
BIG RED FLAG!
I know women who have done this - and ended up cheating on their boyfriends with the person they are talking too. One poor guy - they had 2 kids together, and while he was on the road - she would talk to this guy who lived across the country. He found out she sent him sexy pics, etc - and she was lying to him as well. When he came home a week early from a road trip - guess who he found sitting on the couch in his home snuggled with his girlfriend? IN FRONT OF THEIR KIDS!
If she cannot be honest enough to talk with you - especially seeing as it is upsetting you - and would rather turn and be 'kinky' with someother guy at the first sign of trouble between you - do you really want to be with someone this dishonest and selfish? This will lead to more confrontations, lying and eventually one of you will end up in someone elses bed. | |
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| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 3:12:16 PM | She was afraid it would change the way I feel about her.
And there's the rub. If she really gives a rip about how you feel about her, she'll lay the truth at your feet because she wouldn't be able to bear lying to you.
I say screw it. And dude, get a backbone. Set your boundaries and don't let any foot fetish driven, needy lil cyber nympho make you feel the crappy way you're feeling now.
And to think, you put the poiish on those nails he got off on!
Yikes! | |
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| Online relationship ... should I be jealous ?
Posted: 2/27/2006 3:27:15 PM | First of all, nobody should be telling you what your feelings ought have been.
Now, your girlfriend doesn't sounds like a faithful person from where I'm standing. "Just to chase away the boredom" should never be an excuse for hooking with some other guy, unless she is not your serious girlfriend, of course. | |
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