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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/4/2006 7:28:01 PM | | My grandfather used to say that "Good judgement comes from experience. And experience comes from bad judgement." You learn to trust again and one can also, and should, learn to forgive. Whether or not one forgets, is up to the individual. It's a selective choice, albeit, sometimes a neccessary one in order to maintain a semblance of sanity in order to fight the demon. We all have, at least, had demons in our lives. How we treat them is up to us. | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/4/2006 7:36:09 PM | | I absolutely, 100% agree with you OTB! It IS liberating--it's not the end of the world...but it takes time--and the power of choice is sooooo, um...empowering. When we choose to not allow something to consume us the stronger we get. :::now, where's my drink:::::: | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/4/2006 7:48:54 PM | Yes....
Forget about it and Move on......why pack it around....purge Your feelings ,Anger, Hurt.etc....
but then forget about it.......close that door and be done with it.....you will drive Yourself insane thinking about it..... | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/4/2006 9:22:33 PM | sniff... i just felt the knife twist a lil bit again..
i will say this.. it is the hardest thing i have had to cope with.. I once herd a lady that was in a nazi death camp say...she wacthed her family and others die and this was very painful.. but nothing cut me as deep as when my husban cheated and left me. WOW. | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/4/2006 10:27:15 PM | Depends on the circumstances, I would say.
With my ex, no, I never got over it. It still hurts to think about it too much, because of the way he went about it. He had completely disregard for my feelings, and was out only to get his rocks off. Even to the point of bringing her to my house .. it was a complete lack of disrespect.
In a different case, I did manage to forgive and forget completely, because the circumstances were completely different, and it was a mistake .. a one time mistake based on many factors. I forgave him and we moved on, correcting the circumstances that got us to that point, and in time it didn't even hurt to think about it. It still doesn't now.
So, depends on the individual circumstances. | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 5:46:42 AM | | You didn't indicate whether you kept the jerk around or not. . . .that is the cardinal rule and it has only happened once to me. But it was the easiest 'get over' I've had to do! | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 6:41:58 AM | I don't know if anyone I've been close to has ever cheated. But I can bet that if I did and I found out, I don't think I could ever forget it......the pain....oh the pain!!!! | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 7:08:56 AM | I can honestly say that yes I can forgive, but forget? No I remember all to well.
It is not the actual cheating that hurts, but rather the lost of trust.
That is what hurt me the most, and what helped to forgive is that I put myself in the
other person's place and asked myself this, if I made mistakes, would I want to be forgiven
as well? I do not ask that someone forget, but I hope that they forgive.
I am free of my hurt and pain, I choose not to carry around all that worthless emotion
such as hatred.
But I do choose to limit how close you can get to me emotionally, and if you have
broken my trust, then the individual loses my trust, and my support. | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:09:57 AM | No forgiveness, no redemption, no absolution: out of my life, out of my hearth, out of my mind.
Imagine you cheat with someone and he/she found out...you talk it over, trust is never the same..but you manage. then he/she is cheating on you:: how will you feel? You have no rights to say anything as you did it first!
You have the choice to walk away. If something is more tempting: break up, become free and then do whatever you want@ | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:20:39 AM | Hey I have that "T shirt " to. lol
and so does half the world. Yikes so common it just sucks so big. | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:21:33 AM | | yeah, i dated a girl for a while that was cheated on by her ex, she treated me like i was cheating also, you women have to learn to trust again before you drive another man nuts, ya know all men dont cheat, just like all women dont cheat, lose the sarcastic hints of the stereotype gigallo, now im not saying you all do this, but i experienced one, so there must be more. | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:30:48 AM | Dang sounds like alot of bad experiences. I have never cheated or been cheated on and i hope i never experience this, but i hope and pray that anyone thats been cheated on finds love again and can learn to trust again.   | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:57:47 AM | It is the ultimate betrayal in a relationship and can create baggage which should be dealt with before pursuing anything with someone new. Recognize also that we should not tar every man/woman with the same brush. JMO
A. | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:15:05 AM | I forgive, but i don't forget.
I might get over it, but i'll always have doubts which is not good. Trust is a big factor. | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:17:43 AM | sure....
you get over them.... why not?
but hopefully you learn to to give them another chance. | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 1:48:00 PM | | omfg Frangal! this thread is about someone 'cheating' sexually on you. This isn't about poker! sheeesh! *smacks frangal around forum with smelly trout* | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:18:20 PM | I gave the second chance, BIG mistake, it just happened again 10 years later.
What a big waste of time, once a cheater...always a cheater.
Should've listened to my friends & family.
I feel like such a dumbass! | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:01:11 PM | Time usually heals all..but do you ever forget about it totally..I would say not likely...I have given many chances to a loved one only to find that their next decisions only brought me to mistrust them even more...then it was helping to guide them to...the door...toodles...lol
I have no time for people who waste their time and especially mine! | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:03:22 PM | | i've been cheated on twice from different girls. makes me think monogamy doesnt work | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:07:21 PM | No, you'll never really forget. You'll get over it but you'll always remember it. Cheating doesn't only break your heart it breaks the foundation of your relationship.
Without a foundation there is no relationship. You can't build a house without a foundation, same goes for a relationship.
You'll get over it with time. The best thing to do is take what you can from the relationship, learn from it and move on. | |
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| Do you ever forget?????
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:09:03 PM | | never, i dont forget the small details either, its burned into your head unless its happened so many times your brain runs out of room but typically no, you should remember every detail. you may be over it and it doesnt affect you but you shouldnt forget either so you can avoid future a55holes | |
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