| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 2/28/2006 10:28:51 PM | | i think sometimes people contact you so you know their interested and then cant hold a conversation by threads and emails cause they don't consider typing communicating...it's just words on a screen...i am a babbler in person or over the phone but when it comes to communicating...or trying to get to know someone...i just dont see it happening in depth (beyond the casual how's your day and what's new with you?) by email/threads/posts... | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/1/2006 8:06:35 AM | ^^^agreed.
But people need to put some effort into it. After all, you only get one chance to make a first impression and since this is online, this is your first impression. If you can't hold someone's attention or peak their interest here, you won't get the first date and that chance to show your real communication skills.
It's laziness, plain and simple. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/1/2006 8:21:42 AM | try a brunette...hehehe
Try a redhead! lol!
Yeah I've had people who can't seem to hold a conversation...and had those that immediately want to phone because they "hate typing". Sorry, I think that's just plain lazy and I refuse to give out my phone number to anyone. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/1/2006 9:46:40 AM | | I used to hate it when I would sent out long emails to people and get a 2 word response. Ditto with people who contact you and say nothing. Now, I just let them fade away . . . . | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/1/2006 10:28:05 AM | Well, isn't this interesting? Maybe one should try to get to know just ONE person at a time, and not play with many hearts at once. Give yourself time to get to know ONE person, and if that does not work...move on. This way, it won't get so confusing. IF they don't show interest right away, or, keep showing you that interest....that person is not worth your time anyway; Not your kind of person right from the start. So, then find someone else you are interested in....and try there. Life is tough trying to meet someone this way...don'tcha think?
Don't play with many at once, or you will get burnt!!!!....or hurt in your heart!!!!! | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/1/2006 10:42:03 AM | Hey joe_schmo,
Nice topic as usual buddy, I've noticed this decline in correspondance quality as well. Every once in a blue moon I receive a one-liner message like "you're hot, wanna talk?" and I write back several paragraphs of dialogue to get the ball rolling. Then you get the mono-syllabic responses, bereft of any useful information you could possibly use to carry the conversation onwards... I guess it really is a lost art, thank you ADD & television 
Just_fine_thanks if you spent your entire online dating life trying to only talk to one person at a time you'll be in that fishing boat a heck of a long time buddy. Until you've even met the person the attempt to apply the principles of monogmay to the online dating world is simply ridiculous, all you're doing at that point is conversing with various people trying to find common interests and seeing if there's any potential. You can't possibly expect someone to save themselves for an unknown online suitor they haven't even met yet. 
And people still listening, if you can, please check your spelling at least once and leavek the slang/ebonics at the door? How the heck am I supposed to read this: "boy u so fine, I saw ur pic n' wuz like, u all dat ana bag o' chipz" 
I finished reading it and my former english teachers simultaneously had aneurisms two thousand miles away... | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/1/2006 12:39:36 PM | I try my best to check my spelling but having an aneurism myself trying to decipher that one.
I've had the same problem with communication and just chalk it up to having nothing really in common personality wise with that person. I just look at this way, I tried and theres nothing there, oh well. Just try again with someone else.
If I may make a suggestion, try going to some get togethers and meeting people in person. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/1/2006 5:42:37 PM |
But then it goes downhill. The next mail might be something like "So how's your day going?" So i'll tell them a bit about whats happening and ask the same. Guess what the response is?
"My day is good."
That's it, nothing else. Where do i go from there? They contacted me!
Those bug me, too.
This doesn't just apply to this site. I have some friends who do this on the phone. They'll call me and then I end up having to be the one to carry the conversation otherwise we sit there listening to dead silence.
Ditto for emails, IM, etc.
I think it's a case of these people just not being very interesting. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/1/2006 5:49:50 PM |
And people still listening, if you can, please check your spelling at least once and leavek the slang/ebonics at the door? How the heck am I supposed to read this: "boy u so fine, I saw ur pic n' wuz like, u all dat ana bag o' chipz"
I finished reading it and my former english teachers simultaneously had aneurisms two thousand miles away...
Did the e-mail come with a link to an online translation software??? | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 10:21:29 AM |
A hillarious email i have received was a short one and they asked "so tell me about yourself" and i have this HUGE PSYCHO DETAILED PROFILE
Shows that they didn't read the profile. Annoying. Though, yes.. hilarious, too.
will send out emails with lots of questions well thought out ones to show i have read their profile and that i am genuinely interested in what they have to say, only to get back "thanks".
To me, that just SCREAMS, "I'm not interested, but thanks for the kind words".
to OP:
It's hard to talk to people when you're the only one talking. There's really nothing you can do about it either, unfortuneately.
On the positive side I figure it's like an early warning system.. if you bore me via email you'll probably bore me face to face too.
Maybe one should try to get to know just ONE person at a time
Words to live by.
Especially the second comment/bit of advice.
Some people just suck at online conversation. Some people treat it like they would if they were right in front of you (I'm one of those). If you're also the latter type, then you won't have problems chatting up more than one person. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 10:42:38 AM | Two word replies are great for knowing the person is not right for you. Have you never witnessed a conversation between people whose vocabulary consists of 100 words? Let dullards mate between themselves, if I may put it so cruelly.
As far as spelling goes, English is my third laguage and I still manage to write better than many Americans. Now that's awkward. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 10:51:59 AM | | I'm sorry. I was too busy admiring myself in the mirror to answer your email. I honestly FORGET to answer emails sometimes. I am such a fanatic about keeping my computer in order that sometimes I will read something and delete it almost as a reflex action, not realizing till it's too late that I now have no way to answer. Fortunately POF has all kinds of cool ways to retrieve stuff when you do that. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 11:02:44 AM |
I was mailed by this beautiful blonde woman a couple of months ago. We exchanged email address' and started chatting on msn pretty much right away. What a waste of time! This girl could barely string together a sentence much less contribute to a conversation. Obviously someone who has always gotten by on her looks and never had to develop a personality. BORING!!
I mentioned this exact thing in another thread, but these were women I had met in person. How many times has it been mentioned on these boards LOOKS GET YOU IN THE DOOR AND PERSONALITY KEEP YOU THERE. I'm guessing those type male and female do well at connecting with shallow people.
By the way your OP had me laughing pretty good, thanks for the laughs. Not to be gay but I enjoy your post | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 11:29:01 AM | Couldn't agree more!! good conversation is most definitely a lost art -
email, phone, IM, etc.
Example of the last few months (in addition to the struggling one-sided email convos already mentioned) Some one IM's you, you have a few minutes to chat so you respond - I usually ask questions about them if I have interest which brings us to the downslide - they respond with one word answers or stupid smilies or worse yet they must be Im'ing 5 others because there is a 5 minute lag between each response........
Why am I single I ask? - in addition to other things (posted in other thread topics) I've rarely met anyone that can truly hold their end of a conversation via any mode, and when I do meet a "talker" - I usually end up listening for hours to them droning on and on about themselves so I don't even really need to be there  | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 12:02:13 PM | When I get tired of making the conversation I just say 'your turn to choose the subject'. Don't believe in hinting or being too subtle! Make any further judgements from there. Although if they can't put a sentence together from the start that is it for me.
Slightly off topic - first message received from chap = 'Want C*ck'
My response = 'Is that a request, statement or question?'
No answer - I am forever in limbo wondering what the answer was. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 12:04:46 PM | How about on a date???
How's this for a
I was another site the kind where you post your profile and wait or contact someone yourself and then you go through a series of guided communications, and finally open e-mailing. Everything went well with that, and a lunch date was set up. It was the longest 45 minutes of my life, notice I say 45 minutes not an hour. Getting more than a one word answer was like pulling teeth. Left me nothing to go with, couldn't even think of one more question, because I was so appalled by the one word answers. Gosh I know we are all nervous, but this guy took the cake.
Not to mention he carries one of those gross hankerchief things, ew..... and used it at the table gross blah barf | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 12:59:31 PM |
Not to mention he carries one of those gross hankerchief things, ew..... and used it at the table gross blah barf
So did his hankerchief dance af blowing a lil buggie in it? | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 1:21:04 PM | Some people lack basic social skills, they think nothing of some of the things they do in front of you. While these people are everywhere, there seem to be many of them online. They're like social retards, i'm pretty good at weeding them out so i dont' end up out with them as a rule.
I used to date this girl i met online. She wrote decent enough emails, was bright and so forth, we talked on the phone a couple of times then met. Quiet as a mouse. I tried to draw conversation out of her but to no avail. I figured she's nervous. But this pattern of silence continued throughout the next couple of dates. I finally asked her about it and she told me that was the way she was. Very quiet. Also, she was quite shy. We must have went out 4 times and i don't think i made any physical contact with her at all. No hug, kiss, hand holding, nothing. I couldn't take it. I was bored all the time. My shadow was more entertaining. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 1:25:56 PM | | I get worried in social situations that I will run out of chat, another reason to find someone that can either talk for their country or at least lead some of the conversation. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 1:26:20 PM | | maybe you can give me some tips, before I give up! This hankerchief thing was the last thing that happened to me just last week, I quit dating What's next passing gas and blaming it on the waiter? | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/2/2006 1:29:58 PM | | Wish i could offer some tips, i just have a sense for people. Not too much misses these eyes or ears. I've been told I'm too observant by a few people, always girlfriends. Funny. They want you to pay attention, but when you do, you catch them in all kinds of lies and stuff. But thats a whole other thread. | |
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