| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/5/2006 3:40:49 PM | Actually ya, out having a life this weekend for once! I've had a great weekend! How about all of you?
It would seem my conversation concerns, while still present, were satisfied as I have had some great conversations lately. Quite the coincidence that i started this thread about the lack of conversational skills and suddenly it isn't so much a problem right now. But don't get excited, I've seen this before, could be just momentary reprieve!
We'll have to see how things pan out.
Quick edit: i saw that daughter and i, nice one! | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/5/2006 8:30:29 PM |
She's giving me nowhere to go here, nothing to work with. I'm sure she'll drop me a line tomorrow like she did today, "How are you today?"
I used to get very frustrated, also, by those kinds of emails because there was nothing to bounce off. I realized I had to change my way of thinking of them.
These emails are the dating site equivalent to those people you pass in the hall at work, the faces (the names you may or may not know) you recognize, acknowledge and say simply, "Hi". These people are people (I try to never forget that, given the medium of internet dating), but they are not potential mates.
I have taken to responding to them (because I respond to most emails) in the style they write. So, in your example, I respond with "fine". I may or may not follow with the social requisite "How are you?".
This way they are acknowledged, but I am not frustrated.
All good.  | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/5/2006 10:26:10 PM | I for one used to be guilty of having a hard time holding a conversation but only because I am extremely shy at times..Those initial first words to someone used to scare the heck out of me whether it be in person or in an e-mail.I am sure to some years ago I have sounded like a real dork in the beginning (not now) I have gotten much better at it as I have more confidence in myself now.I agree that conversation truly is an art | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/5/2006 11:40:41 PM | | Okay, I can carry on a decent conversation, but am I the only one who thinks that good conversation, like good sex, requires a certain level of chemistry? I know sometimes I just feel like I can't think of anything to say, and I'm sure I've come across like a complete doofus to some of the women I've gone out with. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/6/2006 6:50:05 AM | molonel, you're very right, it does require a certain level of chemistry to carry a good conversation. Sometimes not though, some people just have that gift of gab. I do. But good point. But it certainly helps too if you're into the person, even if at first its just physical. I think we all try harder when you're into someone.
Posting update! That one who emailed me with the one liners like "how are you?" emailed me just as i predicted. Guess what she wrote?
"hope all is well"
Thats it. AUGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/6/2006 12:24:46 PM | JOEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
please do urself a favour (and us also )
find yourself a SMART GIRL...........................
"chemistry" or not...I don't agree that that is a requirement for a good dialogue...It's a BONUS but certainly not related in any way shape or form to good conversation.
CAn u imagine if we had to have chemistry to have a "stimulating" conversation...
What would happend to those guys like "Danny Devito, Lyle Lovett, ?? | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/6/2006 1:22:30 PM | Carrying a conversation is definately a must, have to talk about something out of bed right?
In the conversation the chemistry develops. If you can carry on good conversation with someone chances are it will work out because you have defeated the most difficult things in a relationship, communication...once you can talk to your partner, you can talk about anything.
The question is...if you can't talk to your partner, then how can sex be good, you do need to communicate in bed and if you can't communicate out of bed you certainly will have problems in bed.
ooops...fell off the soapbox | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/6/2006 1:32:56 PM |
ooops...fell off the soapbox
( You have to clean all the soap off before you use them, btw. Don't ask me how I know this... )
I finally broke "the curse of the Monet effect" Sunday, with the help of a wonderful POF woman that accepted my invitation to go on a date with me. That's a first, as every other woman that I have first contacted here has never accepted my offer.
We spent hours talking, and bounced over every subject imaginable. It's just so incredible to go back and forth like that, and you learn so much about a person's character and depth. To me, there is nothing like a great conversation with an intelligent woman. You learn a lot about them, and also a lot about yourself, while doing so.
With the right person, that is just so easy to do. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/6/2006 1:56:28 PM | Ahhhh, but Great Eyes (and yes you do have them!), i think chemistry is so important. Even with friends, family, so forth. If you have some chemistry with that person, you can chat forever. We all know people we simply can't have conversations with, be it friends, co-workers, family, potential dates....
Guys like DeVito, Lovett, etc. have good personalities and can probably chat with most people. I really think it comes down to chemistry and personality, interest level, the alignment of the planets, whether your dog had a bowel movement that morning, etc. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/6/2006 2:05:05 PM | Just look at some TV interview shows, for example. Ever see a show where the person interviewing someone is just totally focused and interested in that person ?
Take a guy like Charlie Rose, or James Lipton ( Inside the Actor's Studio) , especially the latter. Instead of a "fluff" Entertainment Tonight type situation, one can be fascinated by listening to two people totally enjoying the art of conversation and dialogue. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/6/2006 2:12:02 PM | | Well joe schmo, you want to chat, I'll chat your fingers off, I had a bad start being new, but I'm getting better at it all the time. I only require a starting point now and away I go. Not everyone who has me one favs is male as I converse with people all over, some women have me on their fav lists too, no I'm not bi, just female friends. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/6/2006 2:25:38 PM | emails,can get overwhelming(if too much is written) ...sometimes even when someone sends you mail that is a thousand words long..it still only warrents a THANKYOU...or a one sentence rebutal...
In my opinion a basic conversation you can have with anyone.Doesnt make it a good one....Conversation isnt jsut about sayin things,we can babble to anyone(doesnt even mean your interested) ...it(good conversation) is about be sincerely interested in another...good luck with making connections.peace | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/6/2006 3:36:41 PM | ***Montreal Guy***
I don't understand women who won't even take a chance and meet a guy, at the least you make a friend or you learn the type of guy you are not interested in, but if you go, you have the chance of meeting someone you may know for the rest of your life, who may impact your life or vice versa.
It's really too bad these gals are being so shallow. IF you believe in karmic retribution those girls will get thiers.
Good Luck with this one Montreal Guy! | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/6/2006 3:51:06 PM | {It's really too bad these gals are being so shallow. IF you believe in karmic retribution those girls will get thiers}
Well for those girls it will be not having a relationship because they are too focused on themselves and they will only care about themselves and not others too. Thats their downfall if they keep it up.
Good luck Montrealguy, you deserve a real woman and not some blahh... kinda girl lol. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/6/2006 4:10:43 PM | I don't believe they were shallow at all. No doubt some were, some where simply too nervous, and some others were just at the wrong time in their lives to meet me.
I don't wish any of them anything other than the happiness and love we all deserve.
What will be, will be. I am a great believer in fate. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/7/2006 8:46:02 AM | hello Montreal guy.........
I totally 100% enjoy watching interviews by Charlie Rose and James Lipton....
and not to mention a few of my favourites (Anderson Cooper and Donny Deutsch) two men who certainly do not need the $$$ but certainly love the aspect ot meeting and engaging in thought provoking interviews.
P.S. For anyone who cares...I have NO IDEA why anyone adores Larry King...I mean I often watch the show becasue of his guests but I CRINGE and say to myself .." if I was sitting across that person, I would certainly be asking more interesting and OPEN ENDED questions than Larry King does"...
I think people go on Larry King just becasue of that (exposure) because I certainly find him Boring, Rude to callers, unamusing and plain old Boring !!
Is there anyone else who feels the same way? AS far as I'm concerned he makes far too much money for what he does...or shall I say "lack of what he does" for his profession. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/7/2006 3:02:22 PM | | Just kidding I find women sending me a message : hi there how are you ..I always send a message back. anyways i'll send a message back not a longgggg one but hi im good how are you what do you do 4 fun, what do you do for a living etc etc. then get: i'm good..????? delete..... | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/7/2006 3:16:59 PM | Jeepers, almost found my thread hijacked by that Montreal Guy...
I don't mind the first mail from someone being,"Hi, liked your profile. Maybe you can check out mine and we can chat. Bye." I'm not too worried about it. I tend to put more into it but thats just me. But when i respond to them and start asking open ended questions or make mention of something topical to get the ball rolling and i get ,"I'm fine. I'm doing nothing." well that's when i start to worry. I might try again depending on if i like the pic and if her profile was somewhat interesting because you can't judge someone completely by their profile. But if it starts to look like this is the best i'm going to get, bye! | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/7/2006 5:45:11 PM | I find by the second or third letter if I'm not getting anywhere with the conversation, then there is just no connection mentally, or our personalities just don't click. Some people converse better on msn, or im, or whichever provider they happen to use, than mail, and if I can't connect with them there either, time to give up.
I require a certain amount of stimulating converstaion mixed with humour to keep my interest up. Looks alone just doesn't do it for me. | |
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Kur
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Joined: 3/7/2006
Msg: 97 | |
| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/7/2006 6:26:57 PM | | I'm new to this site, but if it's anything like Myspace, it's possible they're just trying to get their rating up, or get as many "friends" as possible to make themselves look popular. Of course, there's the possibility that they just don't know what to say. Maybe their shy. Or maybe their just the type of girls that like to make themselves feel important by leading as many guys as possible to believe they're going to get something from them. It's sad, but they're out there. | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/7/2006 10:14:24 PM | Okay, lots of posts and I read quite a few but not most, so if I repeat anything, I am sorry...lol I am in the same boat as Joe, I am the gabber and few have been so responsive as I. But allow me to take on the optimistics point of view...maybe we should all be glad that the responses end up this way, waste of time...yes maybe at first, but think of all the hrs of dull conversation we wont have to have with these wankers...lol I have chatted with a few that have carried on fantastic conversation, and I am glad, cause in my opinion, the better few are a nicer deal than the many duds...hehe Even if they are hott, having things in common is waaay hotter love to all, peace out  | |
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| People who can't hold a conversation
Posted: 3/7/2006 10:50:36 PM | | To the guy who started this post, 13yrs of catholic schooling has made me far to cynical to be a religious person but reading the heading of this forum post you got an "AMEN!" out of me. I am happy to know that I am not alone thinking that 95% of the people who have contacted me are PAINFULLY boring on thier best days. | |
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