Cyrix
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Joined: 8/3/2005
Msg: 25 | |
| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/2/2006 12:52:55 PM | Interesting dilemma with the intelligence question, and somehow I think some people are linking intelligence with areas that may not even reflect the person's intelligence at all.
The question I pose, is what if the person is willing to learn? The question in particular I pose to females, with the aid of the movie Forest Gump. What if the person you were going out with, was exactly like Tom Hanks in Forest Gump - clearly showing a lack of intelligence but a complete gentleman and sweetheart.
Some people here I believe are getting mixed up with wisdom and intelligence. | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/2/2006 1:04:01 PM | any type of excess ex talk equals a "see ya" in my books
How do you find out what they wish to have again which they have had in past with relationships, and conversely, what in that relationship they do not want to ever be part of again though?
How do you get the best of the past and eliminate the worst of the past to make for a better future in YOUR relationship if you do not talk about past relationships?
The first line that rings alarm bells is "I don't want anything complicated". Life is complicated. To me it just means I want to get for the least effort on my part
AGREED!! WELL SAID!!
is what if the person is willing to learn?
I actually look for this. I am also willing to learn; so ability to learn AND to teach makes her that much more fitting in my eyes. | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/2/2006 1:14:35 PM | The initial attraction between 2 people is always physical, but lets be honest here, you will only be willing to put in 'so' much work if the other bases are not being covered!
Regardless of how good someone looks, you know for a fact, that someone, somewhere is tired of taking that persons sh*t!!! Lol
Acceptance of one's self (the good & the bad) just about qualifies you a seat at judgement table.
You have to be completely honest with yourself before entering into any type of relationship (What are you looking for?) | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/2/2006 1:42:39 PM | I dont' think I have a "test" but when I meet someone new..I want it to be in the here and now and not drag his baggage from the past. Many times I feel like I am a free therapist. I listen and sometimes we e-mail each other back and forth..but it does not seem to get anywhere but free therapy for him. So I usually tell new prospects.if we meet..we walk in the door with TODAY in mind and not drag out the past. So far it's not working..so I am just looking for right now.. | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/2/2006 6:20:24 PM | This is so silly. Of course we all have our internal list of what is important to us. It does not make the person who fails the test less than anyone else. It simply means this person is not the combination of qualities that I deam important in my life.
If more people relized that someone not calling for a second date is not an insult to you it is simply a reflection of what they are looking for I think people would enjoy dating. It is a numbers game. The more you date the closer you are getting to the one that "fits". | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/2/2006 9:19:20 PM | The biggest disqualifier of women for me is...
1) LOW SELF ESTEEM
wow....i can't tell you the # of insecure girls there are...
2) Can't carry a conversation
I actually do pose questions to girls and if they pass #1) and #2) it saves me a lot of time because I am quite picky...
So, if you're super rich or of royal dissent, feel free to send me your application. ;) | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/2/2006 9:48:50 PM | I don't know if it is a test moreso than an indication of compatability, but I look to see if a guy picks up on my jokes or sense of humor.  If we tend to laugh at the same things, I think it passes the grade to further the silly talk. I like silly talk.  | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/2/2006 9:50:45 PM | I ask certain questions to decide if I am interested in dating someone. For example, I hate political arguments, and want to date someone of the same political persuasion. So, I ask a couple of political questions to get a feel for their political views. If I see that if someone is obviously too conservative for my tastes, I move on to someone else. I am looking for a harmonious, happy and loving relationship, so I look purposely for common values and beliefs.
We probably "test" people more than we realize by the questions we ask of a potential girl/boyfriend.
Obviously, if a guy is unable to carry on an interesting conversation, that does not help matters.
I am quite picky, but the guy I choose, and who chooses me, will enjoy being together becase we made sure we are right for each other. | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/2/2006 10:01:58 PM | Call 1-800-MIS-RITE for finding Ms. Right
Call 1-800-MR-RIGHT for finding Mr. Right!!
and then RUN!!!!!
DW | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/2/2006 11:21:06 PM | "Test's" seems to imply 'jumping through hoops' . I doubt that anyone wishes to feel as though they are on trial, but it's never a bad idea to look for warning signs.
I believe this can vary - depending on the circumstance and the individual. Let's say that you just got burned. There's a good chance that what ever situation caused this would turn into a temporary hot button and anything remotely close might trigger a defense. In this case, you may disqualify without solid reason. For instance, I had a first date that was ten minutes late (she lived much closer to the meeting area by than I). Against my better judgment, I ordered a drink and hung around. Good thing I did. I learned that timeliness was not one her better qualities, but that this was probably her worst. Personally, I can live with that.
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Actions speak louder than words: We are all human and depending on mood/conversation topic, will sometimes contradict, but when there's a thread of events, it is time to eject.
Single Moms that introduces you to the kid(s) too soon: If mom is having revolving door relationships, or quick to believe in a permanence or LTR without foundation, then the is writing is on the wall. Kids can become attached quickly and this is not in the child's best interest. This should reveal something about her choices, priorities and personality.
Ambiguity: call this an oxymoron, but this needs no explanation.
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Disqualifying - Personals
I'm probably too much of a disqualifier in this field, but hey... chances are, we are going to pay, take a drive that may be longer than 10 minutes, and invest a few hours of our time. Though I've never taken a chance on any of the below, it stands to reason that there's some validity.
Glamour Shots: Sure, we all like to put our best foot forward, but this is beyond the limit. It's not an honest depiction. If you are lured in under deceit, then this should serve as your first impression.
Over used/ Unoriginal captions: "moonlit walks" "soul mate" "cuddling" "likes to be spoiled". Unless you are only looking for a consensual physical encounter chances are you you will be disappointed. And... speaking off the cuff, if she's that lazy with captions... well, I think you get my drift.
Words to express what she's *not* looking for ie; "Player" , "User", "Head Games" , etc... Who with a healthy mind *is* looking for this? If this text is taking up most of her description, then there's a chance that she's wearing this on her sleeve. This person may actually be a good catch, but her current mood could result in you being held accountable for those in the past. | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/3/2006 9:39:21 AM | ^^^^^^ TOTB that is HUGE and very well put, never thought about it like that until now.. thanks | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/3/2006 9:41:33 AM | | ^^^^^^ TOTB that is HUGE and very well put, never thought about it like that until now.. thanks | |
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lohki
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Joined: 7/22/2005
Msg: 38 | |
| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/3/2006 1:30:53 PM | I listen to everything said and not said.. I hear what he isn't saying.
I appreciate my opposite sex and their oddness with communication and differences all around.
I base the compatability on overall impression and how my physical self responds to him.
I have spidee senses.. and they tingle, especially when the bull-sheeting starts.
I keep an open mind mostly because I HAVEN'T heard it all, don't know everything and can't say I've been there -done that.
Lie to me .. about anything.. -done.
anything but the up and up .. irritates me -done.
disclose personal information about your x.. *rolling my eyes- done.
-I listen to x talk, it reveals much about the stage of growth after them.. lets me know what might be in store for me.
hurtful in general -done.
patterns of repetitive odd or idiotic behavior -done.
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/4/2006 12:46:41 AM |
How can you turn down someone just because they are not 'intelligent' or they act a certain way or have certain ideas and opinions. Everyone has theirs flaws. Chances are that they have other things that make them good.
I could not agree more.
As they say.. "different strokes"... Generally speaking, though no one will catch me at a Trekkie convention, I most definitely require something beyond the mainstream. I know many rural counties in Florida that might seen like a field day to some here, but it's not for me. No intention of coming across as condescending. To each, their own. | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/4/2006 6:16:15 AM | someone unwilling to be their true best selves,refuse to do their best to fix that which they know has to change.
And refusing even to try!bye bye | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/4/2006 6:27:12 AM | | I have to agree with Bob Dylan on tests, has anyone just thought of getting toknwo the person first with conversations, WOW what a concept....LOL | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/4/2006 6:42:49 AM | | Perhaps their intellingence and sense of humour is not of your calibre...but that does not mean they cannot be intelligent and funny to someone else!! You limit yourself by searching for someone to meet your standards rather than appreciating them for who they are and perhaps learning a thing or two from them.... | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/4/2006 1:50:13 PM | Once I get to know a man and feel that the time is right, then he HAS to pass the "kiss" test.
As a rule, if the kiss doesn't knock my socks, then nothing else will be coming off either :-)
oops ..edit .. edit ... if the kiss doesn't knock my socks OFF ........etc | |
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| Tests to Disqualify Women/Men
Posted: 3/4/2006 6:59:40 PM | Dylan,
Firstly great handle...Bob Dylan is one of the best song writers in history. I went to see him a few years ago when he came to Saskatoon.
Now for the topic at hand...I think that you've got a great piont. I'd like to also mention that some people are quite nervous on dates and may appear to be quite different than they normally might be. A silly test, or lack of acceptance may cause people to miss out on someone really great. | |
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