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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 1:25:41 PM | I guess we all have different views. I am smiling though at knowing that women like this are around to tell us how it is. And thats Knitten Kitten.
I do know my heart doesnt know numbers. It only knows unconditional love for those I care about. What could be the best time of your life should not have to do with age and what others think. If you find that special someone and they meld with you in every way then you have what some only ever dream about. Quote from Martin Luther King. " Take the first step in faith, You dont have to see the whole staircase, Just take the first step"
Rob
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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 1:38:19 PM | Well, well, well,........my favorite subject. The age gap question.
I, personally, don't think it is any problem having a relationship with one 2o years older or younger than yourself. My brother and his wife have a 20 year age difference and are very happy. Can you guess which one is the older?
But....now this is a big big but, if my 22 year old daughter were to come to me and say 'Mom, I got engaged to so and so - he is 44 years old! S**T would hit the fan.
I wonder why my thoughts go that way for her and not for myself? That is a good question, one that I am going to have to ponder for a while.
And my brother ? He is the older gentleman. Were there really any doubts? After all in the past, age gap relationships usually always the man was the older of the two (ie: Pierre Elliot Trudeau and wife Margaret). It is only just recently that women feel comfortable with dating younger men (ie: Ashton Krutcher and Demi Moore).
That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it - unless of course someone changes my mind :) | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 1:42:21 PM |
Ok, does 'fixed' include but is not limited to: ...
Yikes MightBeMe! None of those things. I was making a joke about my dog coming already fixed, as in spayed. But you don't spay a man, right? So I really meant, one who has zero interest in more children. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 2:17:25 PM |
And the majority of these threads end up with men slamming women who say they like younger men,
I was not aware that men actually slam women for that. Only because I think its not right. I have dated way older than me, only because there was a connection, and not the age thing. Many of my friends never seen the age difference anyway. Me going as young as a 20 year old makes me shudder, 7 years younger than me would be my limit. I don t need to be a daddy figure either. No worries there about me going with your 24 year old daughter.
Now I have done the dating with women close to my age lately, some of which are looking for the rocking chair already. Maybe its a different climate where you come from Argulua. When my daughter sees me on a date with a woman three years younger and tells me that she is too old for me, there is something wrong. Dont get me wrong, I know lot of good women that keep themselves in shape, and they are the ones that are with someone already. I did date a hard body one year older than me, not from our town, and it was a pleasant date, we went for a two mile walk first before our meal. She kept herself in shape. So Iwould need to find a person that would be able to keep up to myself. I run sometimes when my knee allows me, I ride bike to work instead, and I just lost 5o lbs three years ago. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 3:04:01 PM |
I'm all for finding a partner near my age. Unfortunately, the great majority of men in their 40s on this site are looking for women 10, 15, 20, or more years younger. A man who is 45 will have his age filter set at 21-43. At 47, I'm too old for him. Of course (snide coment ahead), most of those guys couldn't keep up with me anyway. I've never seen a woman's filter set that way.
See this comment is so typical. Ever thought that with the influx of women in their 30's and 40's and even 50's now wanting younger, men these ages figure they may as well try for younger?
But I understand how it goes, men should stick to their own age, get shot down, get told they can't keep up like the young guys, and live alone forever while women their age say "You guys got away with it for years now it is our turn"
Can't keep up is a joke because 90% of the time that means sex. And I thought there was more to a relationship than sex. And if the sex has to be so awesome, then I guess the rest of the relationship can be sub par?
I am 38 and I think since I was 36 I have heard more times from women my age and a bit older that "Oh you guys are all boring, can't keep up" and do they know me yet? No. But if I generalize women I am raked over the coals, but women generalizing men is acceptable. Unreal with this double standard of gender vs gender.
Yes we men know you all hold the power in dating, we men know we have to play by your rules, we men know we are always wrong. But do you have to rub our faces in it each time? I mean come on now.
If I being 38 dated 23 I am called a pervert, a pig, wanting her as arm candy and for sex. Sad really. And if I try for wopmen my age I get the "You lack in looks, I don't like your job, you do not make enough money, you can't keep up, I like younger men they are better"
So when a guy decides screw it I may as well try for younger, he is chastized. Nice. So guys if you are over 35 and single, accept being that way forever because women want their fun, their cake and want to eat it too. Really sad and yet show them respect and they think you are a pu$$y. But listen to them complain about never meeting a decent guy. Always the young guys have it all these days. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 3:34:33 PM | Champ, I knew you'd show up here sooner or later with your "poor me, cain't get me no woman" story.
You couldn't be more wrong about me. As I have repeatedly stated, I have absolutely NO interest in dating a man young enough to be my son. My snide remark about "them" not being able to keep up with me goes back to those men near my age who are unable to walk a half mile without sounding like a locomotive and whipping out a Milky Way as an energy bar, and yet...they and their pot bellies will settle for nothing less than a much younger, thin to athletic, woman.
You are right about the 38 year old dating a 23 year old being a pervert in my book. :0) Well, maybe not a pervert...but a sick, immature old fool. The level of maturity, life experiences, just general sense of self...is vastly different between a 23 year old and a 38 year old. Kid yourself all you want, but those are the facts.
And you're always whining about your looks. I don't know if you're looking for compliments or not. But you always get them when you start in on that "poor me" mantra. I've told you that you were very attractive, and I've seen several other women do so as well. But I know, that's kind of like your mommy saying it for someone with your mindset, eh?
You continually state that most women on here are looking for younger, but that is completely false. Look at a sampling of men's profiles (not forum people) and a sampling of women's profiles. Invariably, the women are looking for near their age. The men are looking for a few years to 20 years or more younger. I KNOW that some women prefer men young enough to be their kids. Good for them. It sure doesn't hurt me. It doesn't hurt you either. I strongly suspect that the fact of the matter is that you're one of those men, and that if you put an acceptable dating range on your profile...it would be 21 to 35. It just pisses you off that women DARE to date someone younger than them, be it 2 years or 30.
You men aren't always wrong. You're the only one ranting and raving about that as well. If you're not attracted to women your age and older, that's just the way it is. But at least be honest about it instead of whining and projecting all your anger at not being able to snag a 20 something onto women who actually date men a bit younger than themselves.
You have a nice night now Champ. :) | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 3:50:00 PM | Always love how the internet makes for great snide jabs at people. I appreciate those as compliments though. Thing is I would never date someone young enough to be my daughter. And not someone old enough to be my mom. Although I do get many 50+ women contacting me..
I guess because where I live there are alot of women who are in their 30's and 40'swho want guys with money/prestige and then others who want men younger for the "fun" and excitement element and go the route of justifying why by bashing men their age.
But that is acceptable because women can bash men as it is common practice.
I am not poor me, hell met 4 women in the past month and all thought I was not up to par...one even leaving me high and dry after a coffee as she went to the bathroom and then just left. I call that classy and she was 36...But is expected. I laugh at it all now. The $84 lunch date that she ignored me for 3 days and emailed me to tell me she was not interested or attracted to me..nice way to do it. But is expected and acceptable.
Anyhow enough bashing, unless you are bashing me of course then we call that entertainment..right Arugula...always remember you know it too, women hold the power in dating..so don't go there and say you don't. Who can set their standards high or low and get what they desire? Exactly..women..and with that they know they can easily get better by going younger many times.
I am sure that if a woman in her 40's came to work and said to the girls that she met this 26 yr old and went home with him, they would all say "You go girl" not say "That is disgusting" Then the guy who is in his 40's says "Oh no way, I met this 26 yr old girl last night and she came home with me" the remark from the girls would be "That is so sick, you pig"
Reason being women in their 40's and men in their 20's are sexually compatible.
Women seem to think that any men out there can get women. If they only lived in the real world for one day to see, but they get their fantasyland world everyday. Want a hot guy, got one. Want a guy to spend money on her..got him. But they still complain.
hey I like that comment about the guy sounding like a locomotive...that is a good one.
Ah poor me huh? Ya riiiight...whatever, don't be giving any of that crap this way. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 4:07:11 PM | Age is nothing but a number.
What ever makes two people happy, then go for it. The hell with what society thinks! If you're happy it makes people wonder why you're so happy. :-) Go with your heart .  Start looking outside the box.
Underage is a NO NO.
sparklingone | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 4:19:41 PM |
"Women seem to think that any men out there can get women"
Getting a woman isn't hard.
The issue is how much deception is necessary.  | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 4:45:57 PM | For adults...meaning 18 years of age and above....You would think this is obvious, but Texas and Arkansas, these two continue to frighten me.
Nevertheless,
I was told by an elder when I was very young, that since women outlive men, a man's wife should be 7 years older than him. This way when he passes...she wll not be a widow too long.
So, a 7 year gap in her favor, is supposedly how things should be.
But, how do I know. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 5:43:39 PM | | Well i am a 21 year old man and i have been with my 28 year old girlfriend for just over 2 years! were talking about moving in together, and everythings going great!! I suppose it all depends on the people that are involved, if there mature enough to see past the age barrier then thats great!!! | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 3/28/2007 6:05:45 PM | Truth be known?
It's totally about the people involved, whether an age gap relationship is good, will work, will satisfy both partners, and will last.
See msg 255 in this thread for my feelings on why age gap relationships can be a win-win situation for both partners.
One of my best friends is 27yrs younger than I am. When we began talking, there was a connection there that was so obvious that we were on the same page, we could finish each others' sentences, know what the other was thinking and going to say next, it was so obvious that the age difference didn't even enter into the picture, we could talk openly and on the same level, it was amazing! Very rare connection but a very solid one that we both knew was good.
We have been friends for years, yes you could say she was very very mature emotionally and intellectually for her age, she begged me to come to Canada but I felt like even though it may have worked for us very well, that in 20yrs, I could have ended up being a burden to her, and it's hard to spend your life loving someone with all your heart, and knowing there is nothing you can do to help them, and I didn't want that for her. So I didn't go.
I had nary a doubt in my mind that we would have probably spent many many good years together, but I could only think about the long run and what would inevitably come with me growing older when she is hitting her prime.
She is happy, has a really good man in her life, and I am happy for her more than she knows. The connection we share? It's still there, hasn't changed a bit. If there are soulmates that remain very good friends and will remain so for life, and I totally believe there are, you could describe our friendship as the defining example of this.
So you want to talk about age gap relationships? Here is a good one! Age gap, and also soulmates, doesn't confine itself to the relationship between a man and a woman on a romantic or intimate scale, it also applies to other types of relationships, such as lifelong friends, and also those immaculately intricate connections we share with those in our lives that make us and them, one of a kinds....
Go figure...
P.S. On another note, I did share some wonderful times with a woman 18yrs younger than I am, perhaps if this thread gets interesting and serious enough, I may share that one with you as well.... Lets just say it was waaaaaaay more than just a fling, and that's putting it *very* mildly.... | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/1/2007 8:58:15 AM | Age is not a factor and I think if two people enjoy each other it shouldn't mater.. I have dated woman younger and also older.. age is not a factor... so lets have some fun.. you may meet the one of you dreams yournger or older... write soooooooon!
 or 
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:11:43 PM | Do you know! i think, say for instance 5-10 year age gap is ok! but only if the guy is the older,i dont believe it works other way round,talking of people close to me here! friends/family who have experienced it...going out with people older/younger, who have become married even! 20 years gap,i think is well to0 big of a gap,but 5-1o acceptable. I believe us Ladys are more mature minded,so the bloke suits us more if he`s older! and been there done that!(sorry guys) if not,what lady wants to end up on her on in her 60`s, unless you had lots of wonderful girlfriends that is...then we`d be fine . I personaly have been out with someone 20 years older,never worked! bye for now | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/16/2007 3:33:00 PM | People say age doesn't matter...but it does. Too much of a gap either way and someone will end up as a nurse-maid eventually.
My own comfort zone is 8 years less my age. Ideally around the 5 year mark is best. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:07:36 PM | | 35 to 45 is good, because at 35 they are old enough to relate to and 45 its still all good because they can still hang, if you know what i mean......... | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:19:47 PM | i'm 55 years old.
age is meaningless to me as long as she's an interesting person. i don't expect that everyone feels that way but i always have. when i was 33 years old i dated a woman who was 59. of course she was quite polished and attractive.
last year i dated a a cute 23 year old. it's all good. but i think the best dating/relationship age for me is late 30's or early 40's . tom | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:33:55 PM | | my ex is 45. 11 years older. but she sure as hell dont look it. :D people my age or younger dont tend to appreciate my sense of things. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:50:34 PM | wow - 55 looks great on you! I don't feel or look my age either and seem to attract younger men. Dated a 25 yr old for a while. It's not about age - it's about attitude and how you carry yourself. If you feel like a 42 yr old mom you'll act like one too.
I generally like men a little older but most of the ones I've met seem much older than they actually are. I want someone who keeps themselves youn and we can keep each other young and active. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/16/2007 4:52:42 PM | | Dating is one thing...a long term relationship is another. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/16/2007 5:10:35 PM | | But how do you feel if it was the other way around? I was 11 years older then my last boyfriend. At first I was the one with issues about the gap. After talking me into it, all of a sudden he was the one with the issues with the gap? I am not attracted to older men. I like to be the same age or younger. What are your views on this? | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/16/2007 5:13:17 PM | | Why is it okay for others but not your family. Another thing, why is it okay with society for the man to be older by 10 years or more but not for the female to be older? | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/16/2007 5:47:25 PM | | I think the connection is the important part and exceptions can be made, but 15 years either way, seems reasonable so long as both are of compatible maturity levels, and have had a few years as a adult... say 21. It was icky to me that 22 year old guys dated my 17 year old friends in highschool, that age gap is huge ... to me is much bigger than a mature 20 something dating a 40 something male (men take alot longer to mature anyway... right ladies? ;) )... | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 4/16/2007 8:18:47 PM |
"why is it okay with society for the man to be older by 10 years or more but not for the female"
Because men run virtually all societies. I used to wonder why but after re-entering the dating world this year, I understand why. A large # of women are incapable of making clear, rational decisions.
There is a *reason* that men run virtually all socieities.
But I didn't understand it clearly until this year. | |
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