| Age gap...
Posted: 5/31/2007 9:11:07 PM | From reading women's profiles, I find that women in their early to mid 30's are reluctant to look at men in their 40's or even upper 30's. But women in their early 40's, often as young as 41, put 40 as the *lower* bound.
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I agree ,
Although I admit ....I'm biased because I'm 41 .
But it is true that many women in their mid thirties seem to think 40 + is "old"
It really narrows the field for us 40+ year olds
I think that is because there is a huge change in perception of your own age from thirties to forties.
I get alot of attention form this 40 + age group ....which is great if we are a match .
I look quite young and I actually probably look out of sorts with some mid to late forties women. Like they are an elder relative or something along those lines.
It's the nature of publicly announcing your age on internet dating ....IRL you don't wear an age on your shirt , so that mid thirties do not think I'm too old.....sometimes even mid twenties don't .
But whatever , it's just one obstacle .....it ain't easy for anyone . (-;
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:39:42 AM | Actually, "ideal" would have men being a few years younger than women. Our life expectancy is still longer. I agree that the age factor doesn't come into play in real life like it does on here though. The majority of men who are in their 40s in my area have age restrictions, either stated or using their filters, that keep us 40 something women from bothering them.
I opened up the age range on my profile, and I get many, many emails from men who are 10 to 30 years older than me. I do this thing now where I look at their profile...see that they're 68 and looking for women from 38 to 50, and ask them if they'd date someone who was 89 years old. Every single one responds with something like "ARE YOU KIDDING? WHY WOULD I DATE AN 89 YEAR OLD"? My response..that's exactly what you're asking me to do...to date someone who is 21 years older than myself.
Obviously they don't read my profile. I mention that very thing in there. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 5:48:49 AM | Society always has their interpretation of what is "acceptable" and what is not. However, I think it is entirely up to the two individuals that wish to pursue a relationship. As long as you aren't breaking any laws i.e. child w/an adult - then it gets a lil' hairy.
Nothing is written in stone or in a book of "rules"/"regulations" on what is right or wrong.
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Algy
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Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 329 | |
| Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 7:33:52 AM |
... that's exactly what you're asking me to do...to date someone who is 21 years older than myself.
It's all relative Arg. Sophia Loren is about a decade older than my father, and I'd date the heck out of her - if I weren't already taken that is. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 8:02:58 AM |
It's all relative Arg. Sophia Loren is about a decade older than my father, and I'd date the heck out of her - if I weren't already taken that is.
That may be true for you Algy, but it's not true for the majority of men on line looking to date. And it's definitely not true for the majority of the men in my area. I honestly get emails daily from men who are 10, 20, or more years older than me who have their age filters set at 30 to 5 years younger. They won't even date women their own age, and yet they email me, expecting that I'd do something they wouldn't consider. It's the internet mentality that makes people think they can have whatever bright, shiny thing that appears on the screen...just because it's there. Personally, I prefer someone within a few years of my own age. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 8:11:45 AM | | hhmmm Im 23 and I wouldnt go near anybody over the age of 40. Regardless I just couldnt be a bit too near to my parents age for me. Depends on the guy also.Im fairly fussy he`d have to be fairly hot for me to go near him if hews even over 32 or 33. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 9:00:56 AM | ^
Ahh , you broke my heart )-:
Actually , I think that anyone under 35 is probably too young for me .Like I said within ten years.Certainly not under 30.
I think you need things reasonably in common , and for instance I can't relate to rap or hip hop ..except maybe eminem ...a little . (-:
I don't want to be misunderstood. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 10:31:46 AM |
That may be true for you Algy, but it's not true for the majority of men on line looking to date. And it's definitely not true for the majority of the men in my area. I honestly get emails daily from men who are 10, 20, or more years older than me who have their age filters set at 30 to 5 years younger. They won't even date women their own age, and yet they email me, expecting that I'd do something they wouldn't consider. It's the internet mentality that makes people think they can have whatever bright, shiny thing that appears on the screen...just because it's there. Personally, I prefer someone within a few years of my own age.
I almost always dated older women (read over 35) even when I was younger. Perhaps the biggest mistake I made was not taking one of them up on a longer term relationship due to the way people in our lives pressured us to break up. I went back to dating women closer to my age and ended up miserable for years. Far too many drama queens, princesses, gold diggers, airheads, and social butterflies -- all with major identity crisis or head issues. Mind you there are sensible young women out there. I dated one several years back who was 20 years younger then me at the time -- and it was all well and good until her family found out. Out of concern for what it would do to her relationship with her family I ended it.
My point is that society really should learn to mind its own business. It is "other women" that kick up the biggest stink over age differences -- usually out of petty jealousy -- so expect the major trouble that comes from dating outside your normal age range. Be mindful of the impact it will have on the other person before you get too deep into it. Most of the negatives are outside of your control. Don't destroy another persons life just to satisfy your need for companionship. That is just cruel.
To the younger men out there I would say if you can find an older woman who has no quams about having you in their life -- go for it. The learning experience alone is worth it.
Nostalgic fish -->  | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 10:59:03 AM | Champsomething -
guess because where I live there are alot of women who are in their 30's and 40'swho want guys with money/prestige and then others who want men younger for the "fun" and excitement element and go the route of justifying why by bashing men their age.
But that is acceptable because women can bash men as it is common practice.
Then you just answered your own question buddy. The solution as you see is right under your nose...........MOVE. Women's attitudes do vary from different parts of the country that is true -- but stop chasing urban princesses - and go change your own attitude cause its starting to smell.
I am a man in my forties -- and I can tell you I have no shortage of women showing interest in me. I am not rich, perfect, CEO of anything, etc. When you get in a situation like you are, then change the situation or change the environment. If you can't weed out the plethora of 20 year old hookers on dating sites from the genuine decent women-folk just looking for companionship -- then you need to work on your perception skills dude. Good luck.
Happy to be swmin Fish --> | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 11:28:39 AM | In 14 pages I am sure this has been addressed several times... it is not the difference in age that is an issue... it is the difference in life stage as well as mental and physical compatibility. Not sure you can put a number on that... it is relative to the individual.
I have my child, I'm not going to consider dating someone who still wants to have children of their own. That divider is a no-brainer. Beyond that, I need stimulation and challenge from partners in roughly equal doses to affection and consideration... that simply can't be measured by age. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/1/2007 1:49:41 PM | I have something called the Decade Rule!
Placing my age in the middle of a decade range, I try to date women that are either 5 yrs younger or 5 yrs older! Sometimes that doesnt always work for me though!
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/3/2007 2:51:42 PM | | Speaking of being creeped out... that commercial where Bill Shatner goes behind the hotel desk for Orbitz to rub the woman clerks hand to persuade her to give a better price..... ecch!! | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/3/2007 5:15:56 PM | Good question. To some this is not an issu~ within means. I can see a gap of 10 years, maybe 1 to 2 more. But that can be an obsticle. Many things can be different, such as attitude, music, style of life is the biggest. Let's say a man is in his mid 50's. And the woman is in her early 40's. He is more apt to not go out so much and she is still in the prime of her life. But this is not true in all cases.
A big gap is not recomended. One such example I personally know of is a guy in his early 70's and his wife is 22. At first, they BOTH loved each other. As time went by, she grew tired of this and is having a younger b-friend. Her husband found out and was devastated. She had left the older man and then they got back together. The deal was that he knew he wouldn't live alot longer and if she stayed with him until then, she'd inherit all he has. He has been sucessful and has much to give. She can't lose out. Sad, but true. So, depends on what you feel, but common sense tells me too much of a gap can be bad. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/3/2007 7:03:29 PM | | In my opinion that depends on age.Younger people do not care if love is in question , when we get older that change. Love is something what we can not explain. That came in many diferenf kinds. Older people often make counts,how many cars , home or kids. Younger people can only think of love in clear way and with heart. They have not life expirience. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/3/2007 8:15:44 PM | | depends on the people, some mature differently than others. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/3/2007 10:25:31 PM | OK I know it's wrong but she was 18 now 19 , I was 48 now 49.
I can't speak for her. We've been together over a year. I'm very good looking for my age. She;s beautiful for any age,
All I know is she makes me happy. (usually lol ) and I make her happy.
My kids ( 17 and 20 ) didn't originally approve but they've come round. Actually my daughter and her are now best friends.
To make life even more complicated we're multi racial, cultural and lingual,
Just proves I think the only important criteria is loving each other and having a sense of humour and being ready to compromise. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/3/2007 10:59:00 PM |  Me being 29 , for freindship age dont matter, but for a serious realationship the closer to me in age the better off. See, the rule is the lower end of the age limit 21 and the upper end 42. Still, staying within the same generation is key, and I would not date someone 10 years younger now days because some of us remember we have to borrow a freinds tape, or VHS tape to get a movie free, or when you waited 20 mintues to get on to websites. I dont know which generation I am now days because the younger kids I can relate too, and also the older ones remember some things that the younger people dont. Still, the older I get the more I lift the ceiling, and higher the floor goes hehe. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/3/2007 11:18:58 PM |
I can't speak for her. We've been together over a year. I'm very good looking for my age. She;s beautiful for any age,
All I know is she makes me happy. (usually lol ) and I make her happy.
My kids ( 17 and 20 ) didn't originally approve but they've come round. Actually my daughter and her are now best friends.
To make life even more complicated we're multi racial, cultural and lingual,
Just proves I think the only important criteria is loving each other and having a sense of humour and being ready to compromise.
I can't believe what I just read in the quote above. Does the Poster really mean what he wrote???
As usual, I checked on the profile - like to glance at Forum Participants. His profile appears he is still looking. No indication of being in a relationship.
Body type is not athletic according to his pics.
Why do people post such things when it's obvious there are discrepencies.
It's a shame because, aside from those couple of things, the rest of what he wrote is a very good logical thought process. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 6/4/2007 9:18:52 AM | I'm just here for chatting, I'm not looking any more, haven't bothered to change my profile .
The pics are me with my shirt on, I would consider my body type athletic for my age, that's a judgement call, but while I don't have the body of a 25 year old.,I still have ( barely ) a six pack. I play soccer three times a week and work out. Send me an email address and I'll email you a picture of us together if you like | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 12:49:28 PM | | Age gap all changes as you get older, at 20 you think 25 is over the hill and 15 is still a kid, but at 30, 22 might be acceptable and 28 is probably not a problem. At 40, 30 to 50 for a match is quite common and 15 years is acceptable. At 50 it's almost anything goes, by that time you've realised that age is just a number and everything else is much more important. The only real things that age has anything to do with is women and childbirth and old age increase in medical problems. Both of them can be altered with good health, lifestyle and fitness. Age has been a big problem in my search for the last 10 years because I've always wanted kids and can't or haven't figured out how to give it up. I was dating someone during my late thirties for a number of years that one day decided to inform me she was 12 years older than she was and kids was out of the question. I just thought she had lived a hard life in the sun on the California beaches. It took a few years to get over that, regroup and I then found myself left out in the cold by most anybody that wanted kids because I was too old. My number was too big. I don't have much problem in person but online a big number is a killer. I'm probably going to have to resort to an overseas bride where age difference is no problem like it should be. The only thing that really matters is happiness with whomever you're with. Most of us Americans have our head up our --- when it comes to this issue. It ranks right along with our desire for beauty and the use of age defying makeup products. I think it's all been drummed into our head by advertisers. . . . . . WAKE UP AMERICA, LOL | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 1:21:38 PM | I believe in 2 things:
1) Respect for the Law.
2) Treating other people with respect.
All other considerations are secondary. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 1:24:26 PM | | Some of my best dates and best friends from previous relationships have been much older or younger. Take the time to look at the person and not the age and you can have a wonderful time!!!!! | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 6:35:47 PM | For me that's tricky, especially in online 'dating'. While I have known people in my personal life who are 10 years my senior and I've been interested in, I get creeped out a bit by guys online who message me who are 10 years(or more) older than I am. I know that some of these guys are perfectly nice, but part of me just thinks, a) why are they interested in someone so much younger than they are? and b) What's wrong with them that women their age don't want them? <-- I mean no offense by this, and I know that it is illogical in some sense, but you can't help what you're gut tells you.
That being said, at 23, I've had friends who are upwards of 30 and I've been interested in them, but I think that's because they're friends first, not just someone who's intentions you're unaware of. I will not date younger men, esp. through online dating, because I've had problems with maturity levels of past boyfriends who were 5 years my senior. I know this is faulty logic as well, because maturity level is subjective, but again, what can ya do?
That mouthful out of the way, while the age bracket may influence my decision to 'meet' someone from offline, when it comes down to it, as long as a man isn't my fathers age...you never know what can happen. It all depends on the particular scenario/situation. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 7:00:48 PM | | I am forty something and would not go out with anyone under 16 or older than 116. | |
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| Age gap...
Posted: 7/15/2007 7:08:44 PM | | Having been there down that, my ex 14 years my junior, I can attest to this, men and women go through life changes in their 20's, especially early 30's, and in their 40's, where outlooks, goals, interests, etc. re-arrange and change somewhat in priority, long story short the age difference does become clear, five years at the most to kind of make sure the two stay on the same page. | |
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