| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/1/2006 6:42:11 PM | JLG,
Nah, not always. I can think of about 5 women on POF I would totally yap with on the phone.
Most are prolly in canada, and I learned the hard way once about that - yes, it looks like a US number....it costs like international.
My fiancee still ribs me about a 2 hour phone conversation I had once. | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/1/2006 6:51:35 PM | it can be to do with confidence...you can chat to any number of folk over the net any time of the week and act or say things to them that you wouldnt normally do in a real life situation.
the internet has broken down the barriers of what should or should not be said or done to a person...a lot of men wouldn't dream of going up to a woman in a club and asking her outright to see her p*ssy....yet this can be done over the internet if viewing webcam..if either person offended ...the ability to switch off is there without too much embarrassment..
the same with the rushing in to love.... because the pressure is not as obvious ,its easier to admit such things ..whether it is meant to be the truth or not. | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/1/2006 7:16:02 PM | | thanks for the thread! I've only been with POF for a couple of weeks. A couple of guys have been just like that with me...and it has kinda blown me away. I'm not exactly a hotty...and the guys are younger than me. WARNING WARNING DANGER!!!! Oh, I just had to look up your profile! Nice nature pics. Kinda felt like home to me. Peace | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/1/2006 7:18:26 PM | | You are more than welcome Woodstar... Just make sure you play the dating game with your mind first and your heart second.... When you find that man, play it with your heart first and your soul second... | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/3/2006 9:28:27 AM | long time no chat P2P what is with changing you name to welcome to my world?
Some people are not rushing into relationships, some people just want to get some. I know sometimes I just want a roll in the hay. | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/3/2006 9:38:24 AM | Probably be leary of someone who says they think they are falling in love with you after just two emails (if they mean it literally)... But as far as them giving their number so soon, I think some people maybe are not good typers, or it is hard to express yourself with just words, cause you can't write body language, or emotion... Maybe they are just so impressed with you that they want you to call them..  | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/3/2006 10:11:38 AM | The part about being in love so quickly..i think just boils down to being in love with the idea of being in love...but as for the phone call..sometimes hearing a person's voice can do alot for you...(it can be a turn on/off) phone conversations does not give a person time to think of a well thought out response...and you can also learn a lot from their spontaneous answer.
As for the "prince charming"...i am in the habit of attaching pet names to people i enjoy talking to...it really came from addressing my kids whom i seldom call by their given names!
So...if you're really uncomfortable with it...either let her know or just chalk this one up to experience... | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/3/2006 10:19:05 AM | I have posted about this before...about my theory on on-line behavior and the "Ready, Get Set, GO!" phenomenum.
People allow their hearts to get ahead of their minds on-line because of the anxiety that is built up being on-line and robbed of other senses. We project want we want people to see, ignore what we don't want to see and fill in the blanks with a positive biass because we need these kinds of things in our lives.
Is it healthy? I am not going to judge others but if it is not necessary, it is my humble opinion that it is not the best way to fill your life with love and romance.
Just my two cents,
Bandito | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/3/2006 10:30:56 AM | being online is just an introductory to get to know someone, Yes! you chat about everything, but how can anyone consider it a relationship??
The biggest part of a relationship is sharing ones self!! You cant do that unless you have had actual face to face interactions!!
If you have never met a person you have been chatting with, then how the hell do you know who they really are??..You have never been to thier house, you have never met thier family, you have never held hands, or kissed or have seen thier table manners!!
I just cant for the life of me figure out how people can say they have an online relationship and they are in love with someone...when you dont even know if they snore or drool in their sleep!!
No wonder there are so many disappointed people out here!! | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/3/2006 12:58:10 PM |
People allow their hearts to get ahead of their minds on-line because of the anxiety that is built up being on-line and robbed of other senses. We project want we want people to see, ignore what we don't want to see and fill in the blanks with a positive biass because we need these kinds of things in our lives.that it is not the best way to fill your life with love and romance.
Bandito said that well and I agree with Fran talking on the phone is not rushing things.
Gonna confess I was anxious when I joined to meet a possible hunk and that thought has mellowed.
Thank God | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/3/2006 1:05:57 PM | I think people are to trusting to quick, i made that mistake once, never again, gave a guy my number after chatting for a few months, were friends but then he became clingy, i used my husbands computer once and he traced his email and told him i was leaving my husband for him, yet i never met him. so next time i will be so carefull who gets my number, if any at all. | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:31:33 PM | Wow Star 123 that is what I call a stalker.. I never knew people could trace an E-Mail... Well now I have to get a new E-Mail address...
I did have this woman who some how by looking at my profile picture found out where I lived... She showed up at my door, and I was like what the FAWK... If she wanted to come over for a coffee she could have asked for my address...lol... | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:51:12 PM | | well I don't know about rushing... but I am not interesting in typing and emailing for ever. If there is no connection then I want to know asap. I don't want to be talking and talking to someone who is Not a Friend and I don't like doing silly conversation "do you like to have your toes sucked" ... | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/3/2006 4:32:48 PM |
If someone is going to fast for you, just let them know, it doesn't make you a bad guy.
I beg to differ. Well, from my own personal experience at least. I haven't been on this site for very long and am surprised at some of the reactions I've received when I tell prospective dates that I like to take my time in getting to know them, e.g. exchange emails for awhile, instant messaging next, some phone conversation and THEN a date. A process, really. When I take the time to explain this I get the sense that I have offended them somehow. Seems as soon as I changed my profile to 'dating' from 'friends', I was expected to be ready to meet someone for a date after ONE introductory email!
And all of this is taking place at the beginning of the whole dating process.
It has happened at various other stages of previous relationships, and the reaction only gets worse. 'How dare I lead them on into thinking that I was all ready to settle down, WITH THEM!?' (and by settling down I mean moving in together, etc., but we won't even go there. I do not shack up with men, period) Sheesh!
I too believe that face-to-face interactions are the best way to solidify a relationship; but in a hectic society that is based on an attitude of convenience, I personally do not like to play into that mentality. I like to take my time with matters of the heart.
Good thread, OP! | |
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mogrl
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Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 40 | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/4/2006 5:09:37 AM | I have had my share of weird'os contacting me, and I imagine many woman do as well... Giving out your phone number can be dangerous due to the fact they can find out alot of information about you... Personally, I no longer want any crazies tracking me down... For me its not bad, but for a woman it could be very dangerous... Has anyone been talking to someone who is not who they say they are... Its a time in history where the world is full of all kinds... Forgive me I am working nights, so I have no clue what I am really talking about...
The best way to form a lasting and loving relationship is to take it slow... That is my preference... | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/4/2006 5:25:46 AM | What has meeting for a coffee have to do with rushing? I understand people not wantng to plan a date with someone they just connected with but meeting for a coffee is not exactly a date.
When I was dating it was through a phone service so one spoke with the person rather than sending emails. A couple of phone conversations and I'd set up a coffee "date". Maximum half an hour and we part company. Go home and we both think about what we saw. Is there a possibility for more? How can a relationship move along without having met the person? Everything one says means nothing if the physical attraction is not there. It seems like a gross waste of time. | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/4/2006 5:48:22 AM | | I am not interested in rushing into a relationship as I just go with the flow. If things feel right then I let them happen. I do understand though how some are like desperate to be in a relationship. Its like they can't be happy being single and if you don't want to move as fast as them then they go to the next guy. Oh well I would rather be single and happy than in an unhealthy relationship and miserable. Have a good day... | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/4/2006 5:59:02 AM | When I meet a girl on the street and I like what I see I'll talk with her, and because I never know if I'll see them again I'll ask them if they mind if I call them sometime. Nothing wrong with that.
As for how fast is too fast? Let's make sure we don't speak for everyone when we are uncomfortable with something ourselves. | |
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delve
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Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 45 | |
| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/4/2006 9:35:46 AM | I don't see any problem with giving someone your contact information.
But, I've had the same experiences as palmelaluva and something similar to star123.
If people you give your number to can see that it is just a means to converse and doesn't mean you're their's or off-limits for anyone else, then maybe I'd be more comfortable with it.
For now, slow and steady wins the race with me! And, I'd prefer to be with someone who has the same boundaries. | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/6/2006 1:12:21 PM | Evermind, there is no problem getting someones number off the street... But when it comes to the internet it is a whole new ball game... Any person with enough time on there hands can a hold of someones pictures... They could post a dozen of pictures that they can get from webshots and post them... Hense you now gave someone your number who is dommer, and he now knows where you live... I find it safer to chat for awhile... Perhaps I am parnoid, but after having that woman show up at my door....
Back to the orginal thread... So, is it lonlyness that makes people rush into dating...? Why would someone say I love you, and they barly know you, or haven't meet you..? To this day, I still have this woman writing me saying she loves me after one letter I wrote her... I have told her to go away, but she continues... Is there anyone who has rushed into a relationship and still together...? | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/6/2006 3:26:57 PM | (Msg 46) Is there anyone who has rushed into a relationship and still together...?
I did and am still in it. Well, my partner accused me of rushing. I didn't think it was.
We started living in each other's apartment within a month and bought a home together after six months. That was 10 years ago.
She was in her 30s and I was in my 40s. If people don't know what they want by then what's the point of dragging it out?
To learn about a person one has to live with them. That doesn't mean getting rid of one's home. It means alternating homes.
We want to see what the person is like coming home from work not what they are like going to the movies. We want to see what the person is like getting ready for work Monday morning not what they'll be wearing going out for dinner Saturday night.
My partner and I saw what each other was like doing regular, everyday things. If someone wants a relationship why wouldn't they want to find that out? The sooner the better unless they like the dating scene. What other possible reason could there be? Why would someone say they want a relationship and not want to get to know the person as soon as possible? I really don't understand that. | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/7/2006 11:34:35 AM | | Good job Dave1234 I am very happy for the both of you... In my opinion times have changed in the past 10 years... I think you two are an exception to the rule... Good work Dave keep up the good work.. I prefer to wait, and settle for only the best... If I am single for the next couple of years so be it... I would rather be alone, then rush into a relationship that wasn't what exactly what I want... Mabye I am too picky... | |
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| Rushing into a relationship on-line...
Posted: 3/7/2006 11:40:02 AM | Okay, I will teach you something....this is how real online and distance is as far as "rushing into it..."
Go over to your land line telephone. Unplug it. Both ends. Now you should have a little cord with two jacks at both ends which you can move about freely, even take to another room with you should the spirit move you...
Oh heck, do it. Take the cord with you, go to your bedroom. Lay down. Wrap the cord around your legs, privates or wherever your particular G spot is. Go ahead, no one's watching, make love to the thing, have feelings with it.
Say to the phone cord how you will love it forever and ever, have children with it, share mortgage payments with it, have dinner with it, introduce your family to it.
My point is obvious I hope.
Delusional. Stop it, get back to real life. | |
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