| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 6/27/2008 4:59:05 AM | I have worked in this area, behavioral Sciences for many years, unless you are trained properly you will miss-read a person entirely, most of this does not work on on a person who has not committed a crime. Only those who have or are about to.
Lying to a date is not necessarily a crime and will not bring these qualifiers in most cases, people do it every day several times a day. So it is now a trait and you conscience will not react to it. You have to learn to read facial expressions, it's that easy, but to learn this takes years. Many cases and courses and lots of field work. Part of my job was to be able to profile possible terrorists in less than two minutes, in Airports, that's all the time you had when you approached them and ask a few generic questions. As far as the Internet, ask many questions that deal with dates, involving numbers, and repetition works very well. Ask the same question later just reword it.
Reading body language on a date is not a good way of doing business, instead just go out and have fun and don't bother with this garbage. | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 6/27/2008 4:59:29 AM |
The best way to catch a liar is to pay close attention to what they say and keep mental notes....or even write things down when you can.....Save emails and encourage them to write about themselves; then compare them later....anything you can do to catch the contradictions. No liar, no matter how smart, can keep track of it all for long without contradicting himself/herself.
...and would add this element: when the words are not in line with the behavior, good indicator the person is lying.
Body language is a tool (and only a tool, as the referenced poster indicated that there other reasons that could impact on a person's body language that don't necessarily indicate the person is lying) for discernment as far as an unskilled liar. However, IME, the more personality disordered skilled liars don't display the body language normally indicative of lying. It's very true that no matter how skilled a liar is, they do in fact lose track of their lies and over time, figuratively hang themselves with their own lies.
i always keep a message history on msn, i dont very often read it back unless i feel someone is not being totally honest.. then you can always have a check and see if wat you think they said is actually wat they did say....
you gotta be careful wen you got no body language to go on .. and just the written word... | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 6/27/2008 5:02:19 AM | This is BS. If you want to tell someone is lying they won;t be able to keep their story straight, ask a lot of questiosn. And they will telly uou by the way... Thsi and that. One girl told me after I had sex with her 6 tiems ina row by the way I'm married. I was shocked! She told me her divorce is not finalized but she is as good as divorced. sigh of releif. She withheld information from em and lslipped upa lot. got to the point tha tI could not trust her. And she wanted me to move in with her and pay rent and I was like. NOOOO no noooo!  | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 6/27/2008 5:27:33 AM | | Hi,I think you have disremembered the information,because you have it the opposite of the way I have always believed it was and that is that the right side of the brain operates the left hand side of the body,and so on. So all the people that believed you story and through out any lovers can now take them back. | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 6/27/2008 5:52:11 AM | I appreciated the info provided on page 1, and Ms Adventure's comments about psychopaths, also Thundergod 71's coments on behaviour/psychology.
I have read extensively on the subject, and highly recommend "The Sociopath Next Door," by M. Stout. There is a great deal of confusion over the concept even among professionals in the field, and a really good liar can fool the best of them. I prefer the term sociopath over psychopath, for reasons I will not trouble you with.
There is another book called "No Conscience;" I do not remember the author.
I was married to a sociopath for 16 years. After 2 or 3, I had an uncomfortable feeling there was something terribly wrong. This feeling would come and go, and the psychological abuse that went with the lying wa so insivdious, I would rather have been beaten. At least I would have had something concrete to go on, and could have taken concrete action, more quickly.
When this person would lie his eyes would dart back and forth, left and right, and get a dark beady look to them. That look meant a whopper.
Anyway, as M. Stout says, "If a sociopath invites you for coffee, don't even admit you drink coffee. Never make nice with a sociopath." | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:27:10 AM | What a load of crap...Who gives a rip, which side of the brain operates what...Internet dating has turned to a bunch of insecure drug store psychiatrists sitting behind their computers writing down every word communicated to them..."I dont doubt that at all"...These sites have become a great place for the insecure and twisted to hide, "including liars and cheats"...
Christ, "I must be out of the loop"...I thought this was supposed to be fun...No wonder so many, are griping about not meeting quality people on these sites...
The folks that over analyze every human motion and words are nothing more than a bunch of robots looking for anything negative to set their little brains spiraling out of control... To these folks , "Get some help"..
Which side of the brain controls , common sense and insecurity... | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:28:46 AM | | Some people are very good liars. One useful way to tell is to look at their eyes. If they are lying, your reaction will matter to them. They will be looking at you intently for a reaction to see whether the lie is being accepted or not. Of course, it might be that they are not lying but just interested to know what you think - you have to bear this in mind and look at the total picture. Other things to look for are inconsistencies in stories, any stories that are relevant to your current situation. It's vital to see someone in context too, to see if they are who they say they are. If you meet their friends and family, then their lies are harder to maintain as other people might inadvertently drop them in it. I can't stress this enough. | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:30:48 AM | This is some funny crud...Next time I date a woman and feel like Im being put under a microscope or being treated like a lab rat, "Im going to start drooling, twitching my eyes back and forth, add a neck twitch and maybe Ill loose the nutbag...
Ill send the kook reeling...Maybe she will give up internet dating and go back to the lab to dissect a toad...Geez....  | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 7/1/2008 6:49:11 PM | Some people just watch too much T.V.
This theory is SO reliable (:laugh:) that they don't even allow it to be testified to by so called "expert witnessess". (i.e. eye movement etc.) It's just a "tool" law enforcement uses. | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:32:34 PM | | heres an idea if you think they are lying, they actuall probablly are..i have found this to be soooooooooooooo true soooooooo true. However play it dumb, and see how things play out but, dont I repeat do not commit to anything!! Oh and best to not have sex with this person, possibly try to wait until marriage......"what did she say"...yah marriage,WAIT, why well do you want to have a mistake with a guy you don't even trust to borrow your car.....? I don't! | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:33:45 PM | According to Dwight Schrute*, the ways to detect a liar are these:
"There are several ways to tell if a perp is lying... The liar will avoid direct eye contact. The liar will cover part of his or her face with his hand, especially the mouth. The liar will perspire. Unfortunately I spoke to Oscar on the phone so none of this is useful."
* Dwight is the Gareth-like character on the US version of The Office, for those who aren't familiar. I have been WAITING for the opportunity to quote him somewhere on these boards.  | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:37:09 PM | | Also they bost alot, "i have a 2 story house" "own my own business" "have a solid gold toothbrush".............If your that cool dude then uh why are you on here?? I mean it doesn't even cost anything........geez | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:42:24 PM | | musical yes. i have actually seen that....how funny ,,,,ahahahahahhahahahahahhhahahah, honesty is still the best!! Liars are dumb. | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 7/1/2008 7:53:16 PM | Some of whats been posted here is very astute...one thing to remember...these tips (eyes movements, hand over mouth or nose, excessive blinking, hand movements, general body language, etc....) are only tools. They MAY indicate prevarications and intentional deception. A pathological liar...believs the lies, and often does not exhibit thus. Nor do all who display these mannerisms always lying.
BUT...given YOUR attentiveness, and paying attention to details, as well as their general demeanor and carriage...you can often have abit more of the picture.
Give 'em enough rope...play along, even encourage the possibilities...(not hard at all)..
and you can probably know with some more certainty. MOST people do lie... and if you suspect someone IS disingenuous... and you are looking for clues... i'd bet they are.
Me, i'd rather build a level of proven trust...over time. But....that too...is neither foolproof or permanent. What in life is? | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 7/2/2008 8:37:51 AM | i would say its much easier to detect a liar. its all in how a person structures their sentances. for example, "you should make this choice" vs "the choice is clear"
the human lie-detector is never wrong when you canthe difference between purswaying and conveying. | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 8/4/2008 2:20:50 AM | one of the most interesting forums i have read so far i noticed it really just depends on people honestly
i could tell when my bestfriend was lying whenever his eyes looked to the left
with my husband its really about the eyebrows and the eyes and occasionally the mouth
if i stated soemthing that meant i was right and he was wrong and he didnt want me to be right so he'd lie , left eyebrow will go up
if i catch him in a serious lie or ask him if something is true and it is painfully the truth , his lips will part
if hes being completely honest both his eyebrows will raise up and he'll put up both of his hands showing me his palms
also if he knew that i was lying he'd cros his arms together and raise his right eyebrow ,( this one is very popular i think of lot of people does this if they dont believe u )
my mom would look away if she lie and give her answer in a very serious tone
one of my friends would put her eyebrows together if she was lying and cop a lil attitude, this one was tricky cuz she would do this even if she was telling the truth
everyone does something that gives them a way just gotta take the time to look for the pattern | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 8/4/2008 2:42:30 AM | The eye thing won't work on me at all. First, I now know about it. I am sure I am quite capable of telling the truth whilst gazing left dreamily. Secondly, a lie (or truth) might not involve memories. Like something about the future, for example. I have a better method: Check the facts. Go and see if the circumstanes/ evudence suppport their statements.
Some lies are immediatel evedent - like when they don't match the picture, or theit spouse appears. Other lies don't matter. Those that matter most - ones based upon opinions or feelings.. well, that's an area that should be left alone anyway. If you love sonething - set it free. If you don't, set it free and tell it not to come back.
There, settled. | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 8/4/2008 12:44:00 PM |
i could tell when my bestfriend was lying whenever his eyes looked to the left
Unless it was a false 'tell'. A false tell is something you deliberately do when someone is aware you're lying...
Then by avoiding doing that particular thing, you create the false impression of telling the truth... | |
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| To tell if someone is lying to you
Posted: 8/9/2008 4:00:36 PM | | Hmmmmmmm i have met several liars and they tend to look me straight in the eyes and lie lol.. maybe i'll check it out and see if they look more into my left eye or right eye. interesting concept!! | |
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