| Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 5:42:51 AM | I can forgive and put things behind me very well , but that doesn't mean I believe in second chances. I have given people second chances before and it always ends up the same- with me kicking myself for giving them said second chance!
Depending on what they needed a second chance for , I might entertain the notion ,but if it's anything like lying,cheating,abuse etc, well no second chances available, so sorry sir! | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 1:37:49 PM | | Timing is everything for me. If it's too early in a relationship, forget it. Later on, if too much time goes by, forget it. I think it's easier to forgive someone if you were able to evolve and be yourself while in the relationship. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 3:09:26 PM | | It would depend on how I felt about the person. If I truly loved them of course I would give them a second, a third, maybe even a fourth. However if I didn't love them, then no I would not give them a second chance. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 4:21:29 PM | | This is a hard question. I think if it is serious enough then NO they don't get a second chance. But if it was something small then yes by all means they should have one...everyone makes mistakes. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 4:25:21 PM | To a degree, everyone deserves a second chance.
Except for some things.
Cheaters, abusive people... no way in hell. They've shown their colors, and I want nothing to do with them.
But, if a woman was... negligent... not really committed to the relationship... didn't try to make it work... I'll give her another chance if she realizes what she's done (or not done). Sometimes it doesn't sink in that you're not being a good partner until it's too late. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 6:23:24 PM | | once its over his butt is out the door...there are no second chances | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 6:24:24 PM | | Never had a 2nd chance that worked out favorably. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 6:33:07 PM | | ^^^^ I'd agree with that, so given my track record, I'd say when its over its over... | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 5/29/2006 6:37:10 PM | Well..it really depends on what...but I've given dozens of chances in my life...sometimes there just comes a point where there is NO point anymore. I think "Deal-breakers" are exactly that though...can't get around them I'm afraid.
Did I mention the definition of stupidity?
Repeating the same actions again and again, and expecting a different outcome :)
I've never done that of course
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 11:17:49 AM | [bump]
Yes, I'm dreaming of a second chance. I want to send her my words again and again, show up with flowers in a thunderstorm, write poems in the sand and mail them to her, and keep knocking until she cracks the door for me.
My contrition is absolute, the less on has been learned in the most painful of ways, the changes within are complete; yet into the night with hand unheld I must go.
Don't women want a man who wants to move the earth to be with them? I only want a second chance to try. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 11:32:00 AM | It would depend on what they did.
#1 biggest no no for me = "cheating" - NO 2nd chance at all ever.
All other problems, mistakes, issues, etc. would be on an individual basis & by "degree"...  | |
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Dru
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 87 | |
| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 11:59:19 AM | | You don't get a second chance at life, so you don't get a second chance and ruining mine. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 12:07:44 PM | It depends on why the relationship failed, I think.
But if it was cheating I would say no, like the saying goes, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 1:19:50 PM | | I believe in second chances depend on why we broke up the first time. If you cheated on me then no. Cause if you cheated then you didn't want to be with me in the first place. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 2:04:40 PM | | I would accept a second chance that would take years - she hit me that hard...right in the heart. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 2:09:14 PM | second chance ...third chance...fourth chance ...where do we stop  when our hearts are cold as ice because we have been hurt so many times  if they do it once they can/could/will do it again ... dont get hurt  | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 2:14:14 PM | posh4
Are you perfect? Do you know anyone who is?
Have you never made a mistake? Know any flawless people?
Have you never repeated a mistake? Know anyone who has never made the same twice?
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Wishing for a second chance when the contrition is sincere is not too much to hope for.
Showing someone that you have turned that corner completely is impossible without one.
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To err is human. To forgive, divine. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 2:31:42 PM | David: Not everyone has the same capacity when it comes to forgiveness. Some are very bitter, and the hurts run too deep. This is not the fault of the person who made the mistake. Contrition is honorable, and being able to say "I was WRONG" is a difficult thing to do. It makes you the better person for doing so. There is no blame to lay, and you can't beat yourself up if that person chooses to accept your apology without forgiving you.
Second chances are given, not necessarily from the person you feel you have wronged, but from within your own heart. Forgiving yourself is the most important thing. Once you forgive yourself, the wounds will be able to start healing.
The incoherence that results from holding on to resentments and unforgiving attitudes keeps you from being aligned with your true self. It can block you from your next level of quality life experience. Metaphorically, it's the curtain standing between the room you're living in now and a new room, much larger and full of beautiful objects. The act of forgiveness removes the curtain. Clearing up your old accounts can free up so much energy that you jump right into a whole new house. Forgiving releases you from the punishment of a self-made prison where you are both the inmate and the jailer.
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 2:49:04 PM |
(Msg 94) Wishing for a second chance when the contrition is sincere is not too much to hope for.
I have to wonder if the person you are hoping will forgive you really loved you to begin with. You may be much better off finding someone new.
You have asked to be forgiven. If the person has such difficulty doing so it does not look good for the long run. Surely you don't want to spend the rest of your life making amends. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 2:55:23 PM | posh4
Are you perfect?
never said i was ....
Do you know anyone who is?
no never said i did..
Have you never made a mistake?
plenty
Know any flawless people?
not to my knowledge
Have you never repeated a mistake?
yes..
Know anyone who has never made the same twice?
yes and i also know plenty who have made it more than twice ..including me..hence my comments
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Wishing for a second chance when the contrition is sincere is not too much to hope for.
if its returned
Showing someone that you have turned that corner completely is impossible without one.
_____
To err is human. To forgive, divine.
and to be forgiving and sometimes stupid is human | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 3:17:46 PM | | No matter how much you care about and want to be with someone, if there's a fundamental problem that you broke up with someone over, that problem isn't going to solve itself. Either you have to accept the problem, or just go through the same breakup over the same thing again. | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/15/2006 3:30:54 PM | girlmissingonething:
The subject is a little broad... What kind of situation?
Anyway for most situations a second chance is reasonable.
Now when it becomes third, fourth chance.. I don't know...
"the second one is a strike, the third one is a strike out.."
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Dru
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Joined: 12/17/2005
Msg: 98 | |
| Second Chances
Posted: 6/16/2006 4:53:04 AM | Unless it was a large betrayal like being cheated on, most people don't break up with someone over one thing. It's usually a combination of different things that will drive someone to break up with someone. It doesn't matter if you made mistakes or not, bottom line is you are not right for each other so you go your seperate ways.
Why would you take a second chance with someone where the two of you together are flawed. Seperately you may get a long as friends, but some people just cant date each other.
Not only that, but like I said its not usually one mistake, so you been screwing up for awhile by the time I dump your ass, why do I need to see any more screw-ups | |
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| Second Chances
Posted: 6/16/2006 10:39:18 PM | | Hell someone should tell my ex to give a second chance. She barely even gave me a first one. We dated, married, we got pregnant, her immature mind told her that it was my fault that she got pregnant so she denied me any ......any..... And that led into fights, I got angy, the kid soon was born, and I rarely came home, she one day told me that I was no longer the man she fell in love with and would rather sleep with another man than to be with me I told her fine pack her shit and leave " Go to your Mothers " She had called me on the phone that night and threatened to kill haer self and my son while driving. I knew she would not but the threat intended was not good, so I took him away for a while she got better, grew up and things in her head is good. Now she is an extremely beautiful,intelligent,mature(at times), and great mother. The only thing is she will not give me a chance. She gives all her other f-ed up bf's all the chances they can get but the one who should count the most and is doing the best; I get crapped on. | |
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MP3
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Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 100 | |
| Second Chances
Posted: 6/16/2006 10:46:58 PM | | dito....sorry to say I'm glad I'm not the only one out there. | |
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