| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 1:29:40 PM | I can't see him doing it to himself... unless he is some kind of psycho....
although.. stranger things have happened...
and the reason I posted a thread for those of you who are wondering...
I am a little torn.. I know in my head that I don't want or need the grief..
my gut tells me that I should at least attempt to stick it out for now...
Maybe some good advice will help me choose with one or the other | |
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| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 1:31:14 PM | | Don't let people con or insult your integrity. He's splitting hairs with you. Not to mention some manipulation. If you like him, but don't want a relationship with him that's a different matter. Don't settle for head games. In fact don't settle at all. Go for all the qualities that you want need and desire. Be true to you. People have a great way of confusing each other when there doing something they don't want you to know. | |
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| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 1:31:34 PM | umm.
I wouldnt worry about that.
practice with setting boundries with him....
there is a possibility ( small one) he may quit the gals....
but dont bet on it.
if anything... keep him as a internet boyfriend... because you said you like him
and maybe hes just not dating material.... doesnt really mean you cant be friends.
I'd cut him off sex and see what he does....
LOL
that would let you know real quick how he really feels. If he runs off.... so what?
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| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 1:32:02 PM | he probubly forwarded something that you sent him..like a joke or chain email to his friends and well..they were curious about who you were. Especially if your email has a female quality to it. You should write her back and ask her what she is talking about, and tell a fib that he is your brother or something...she will write you back and appologize.
although I dont condone lying..it might be funny to see how she replies
if anything... keep him as a internet boyfriend... because you said you like him
and maybe hes just not dating material.... doesnt really mean you cant be friends.
frangal..where on earth do you come up with this crap??
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mg61
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Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 31 | |
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| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 1:42:24 PM |
forget the letters
for all you know they could be from him !
There are wack jobs online you know! It could be a way to control you....
tell him what your boundries are and cut off sex until he is someone your dating. Currently you are not dating him... you only think you are. he is still looking....
so allow him to show his true colors.
Since you like him.... give him that much. But the investigation on the letters is meaningless.
Lay down your boundries of what is accetable and how you want to be treated.
He either will respect them or he won't.
You are only doing this because you met him and like him.
Does not mean you wait long to see results.
Its good practice for setting boundies and letting someone know how you want to be treated. if he doesnt comply... does not matter becayse your not having sex with him anymore..... he goes to friend status until there is a reason to make him otherwise
for a long time... no sex...
until your both dating each other and he does not feel he has to be mr yakky to
confide specifics of yours and his goings on to his internet gal friends.
He is curently not dating you... he is just having sex with you and spending time with you
if its enough. then take it as it is.
if its not.... tell him and how he can make it good for you.
He will either do it.. or he wont.
you take it from there | |
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| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 1:44:06 PM |
I told him that if he wanted to keep a profile on a dating site, that we should part ways, and he continues to tell me that he will take it down... and hasn't yet...
Seems simple enough to me. He made you a promise and didn't keep it. That was a very easy promise to comply with, so do you think you will be able to someday believe it when he might be asked to promise other things like to Love, Honor, and Cherish??
Either he is the sort who does not keep his promises or has already made the decision to accept the consequences which are that you will part ways.
The reasons for not taking it down and the results of not having taken it down don't really matter that much as I see it. | |
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lohki
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Joined: 7/22/2005
Msg: 37 | |
| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:00:26 PM | dating is such a fickle thing.. *sigh, I don't remember why I bother..
this sort of thing just makes me feign for celebacy.
honestly.. why are you upset?..
1. you had a deal.. take down the profile
~ he has chosen not to.. upsetting you and playing some game.
2. getting disturbing emails from unknown ppl.. and you have not yet SAID anything to him.. ~sounds very passive and needy. *this is the upsetting part to me.
3. boundaries.. where are yours?
4. when would he have the time? ~I just don't know the answer to that question. ~I was involved for 7 years with someone who had someone else just like me..in another city.
he has the time. trust me.
5. 3 months and all of this is happening to you, you are allowing it to continue because you want to or you would end it.
if you won't take care of you.. Who will?
take care of you.
walk your talk and be proud of your decisions. | |
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| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:11:10 PM | when it comes to dating advice.... I learned the hard way....
my friends dont know what they heck they are doing.
I had a girl I was date buddies with... we would go meet guys together
after I had a bad experience where one guy tried to assualt me.
She acted like she knew how to handle guys because she could maniplulate them...
duh well how hard is that? ( not hard at all )
she ended up not only having sex with about 20 guys in a year, caught a disease....
but ended up marrying a guy she met after only 3 weeks.
She married him and in 6 months was divorced... and now back again maniplulating errrrr
I mean dating guys.
The thing is to be honest and look for someone who will treat you like you want to be treated.... maybe this guy you met is kinda thick skulled as some guys are but if you lay your cards on the table you will find you will come to respect yourself more... and not allow things like this to happen to begin with.
It will make the relationships you get into more satifing expereinces for you.
Far as the letters... I feel he wrote them and you are going to make a fool of yourself for discussing them with him. He may have created them because he was just a guy who wanted to have sex... got what he wanted and now trying to ditch you.
If you handle this EXIT from him with dignity...
it will end up a good experience for you despite ending the relationship with him. | |
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| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:25:16 PM |
Yeah I hear what you are saying, Does anyone have any ideas on who would be sending me
the emails of his emails??? :LOL
100% chance a jilted ex gf.
As for the chats, I think the key is, is he open about them. If he is, sounds pretty harmless, as long as he is not planning meets and sending out nekkid pics.
In the end, trust your gut instincts. | |
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| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:31:30 PM | He is recently separated, and his ex-wife is pretty vindictive, but then so is her boyfriend...
Who would be more likely to send them? I can usually tell if a man or woman is typing to me,
but these emails are almost "gender neutral" I am stumped... LOL
Do you think I should show them to him? | |
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| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:53:35 PM | Oh crap, I don't know, how would they get access to his emails and stuff in the first place?
it has been a wierd last couple of weeks....
he was showing online while he was at work (on the dating site)
he doesnt' have a computer at his office, and I called him right away and told
him... he didn't know what was going on...
someone has access, and is using it to either A) pee me off, or B) make me angry with him.
And I have confronted him about emailing other women....
Just not about how I got the information. | |
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| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 2:55:23 PM | How old are his kids? could one of them be doing this email thing?
But I think at the heart of the matter, you need to lose this dude...
1. he's a player/instigator, and is sharing your emails, and email address with other g/fs
2. He can't control his kids(if it's one of them doing the email thing)and if the relationship does get serious, you are gonna be dealing with a bunch of drama from resentful kids...and just who do you think is gonna win THAT battle?
Move on, sweetie-unless you are addicted to stress,doubt, and drama...
Cindy O | |
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lohki
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Joined: 7/22/2005
Msg: 49 | |
| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:07:15 PM | * shakes Felanie by both arms..
looks directly into her eyes,.. and says; Why are you asking a total bunch of yahhoos what to do about a baggage filled problem you,.. ~looking into your eyes, says ~you already know the answer to?
<< I are a yahhoo too by the way... don't listen to me either! | |
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| Ok I have a problem, this is good too... All posts welcome
Posted: 3/3/2006 3:11:26 PM | | He is recently separated, has a vindictive ex-wife, and so is her boyfriend??? Plus he continues to lie to you and feels the need to keep other women in the wings or 'who knows what?'? Not to mention these oddball e-mail you're receiving.... Yipes!!! The bottom line is, you deserve better. Best of luck! | |
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