| in love with two people
Posted: 3/19/2006 10:54:49 PM | Two Words
Not Possible
Not "In Love" ...that contains exclusivity...
If you understand the premise it contradicts itself.
It's a downright selfish statement to make and canno't be true. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/19/2006 11:46:23 PM | | That is double dipping. That is not morally and ethically sincere. I cannot date someone like that. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/20/2006 8:20:12 AM | HRPPandora,
maybe something is missing...but nothing i can put my finger on.
I live my life to the full, i do have a life of my own, i have lots of friends, plenty of hobbies and my social life is great..so can't say any of these are the reason.
i do not plan my life around my husband..infact, if i was to be truthful it's the otherway round.
but i disagree that i was seeking else where, i have made many online friends, male and female, i was only seeking more chat buddies..nothing more.  | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/20/2006 9:52:25 AM | Hi again.....its "Plastic Wrap" here......
I still see the thread still has some mileage in it......i'd just like to say thanks to Star123 for letting us all join in her world.....and thanks to all the wonderfull,heartwarming comments i have recieved......am just on my way to confession after typing this...............anyone care to join me????  | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/20/2006 9:56:24 AM | | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^right^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ have another drink for us please | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 1:55:43 AM | I would have preferred to message you directly, Star, but your "exclusion box" excluded me! I have relevant experiences with two people on another site, both at a distance.
I did not read ALL of the posts on this topic (it would have taken far too long), but you have been very unfairly criticised.
To answer the original question; YES, it is most definitely possible to be in love with two people at once. No argument, please, it is true.
It is also possible to have a very strong relationship at a distance, with no harm done.
Before I get the wolf pack biting at my heels,I would prefer not to continue this publicly.
If you would like to explore this topic with me directly, could you please visit my site - I have loads more to say that impinges directly on your situation, and whichI believe would help you.
Most of those that posted against you are totally wrong, and I think offered you poor advice.
Ron. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 2:23:42 AM | Is your husband spending Intimate time with you?
Do you think about the ups and downs in your marriage.
Do you think this other man would make your life better?
Think about what you would loose before you leap.
RealHandy | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 3:37:32 AM | Wow that took a long time to read all that but I had to make sure I wasn't giving the same advice as anyone else. I don't want to waste your time.
I see you've already gotten the answer to your original post (Personally I don't think the 'yes' and 'no' answers helped very much with your dilemma anyway because only you can know how you feel -- no one else can. Every person is different.) and there are other things that developed along this long threaded road so let me tackle what I picked up on...
This is just what I'm wondering...
--What was it that you saw in the online guy? You should try to figure out what it was that attracted you to Mr. online and figure out why it attracted you so much. Is it some trait that your husband doesn't have? Is it something that he could have or do? Until you figure out why, there's always a chance you may slip again -- I mean 'may fall' -- for someone else again. (I'm not doubting your will power here just saying it'd help you out if you can figure out why.)
--(Further along in the post you stated about the attention and the long hours your husband works) If it was only the attention that you liked so much... Can you talk to your husband about the long hours? Does he need to work the long hours? (Or better yet does he need to work the long hours ALL the time?) Is it possible for you guys to just have a weekend together or something like that? Spending the time together (maybe away from the kids and everything) may help you remember why you fell in love with your husband in the first place and you'll hopefully get the attention you seek from him). I think something like that might help you guys out a lot. (Even more so if it's after you figured out why that online guy got to you like that).
--Also, I'm not putting this completely on your husband here. What can you do to help out your marriage? Is there anything that will make you both feel closer together as a couple?
My advice comes in questions and suggestions because only you know what'll work for you and because it makes you think.
I personally don't like the whole "You're wrong. You suck." attitude that a lot of the people have had on this topic.
>
I wish you luck and happiness in your marriage and all your future endeavors, whatever you choose them to be.
 Sorry for being forward with the hug, but I think you needed one. (especially after all the cr-p...)
~Lu.
Remember to smile!!! = ) | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 3:40:01 AM | Sorry -- part of that didn't show up. The missing part is:
I personally don't like the whole "You're wrong. You suck." attitude that a lot of the people have had on this topic.
In your heart you know what's right for you. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 4:15:01 AM | I am curious as to why you would not be completely forthcoming to your life mate in regards to your feelings in your marriage. I am of course talking about your online affair. Make no mistake. It was an online affair that could have spiraled out of control. I find it interesting that in your words his life revolves around you yet yours does not revolve around him. Sounds like you wish he would do more for him maybe? You have posted here for the whole world to see yet you won't tell your husband about what has transpired.
Colour me perplexed? Is it, why rock the boat? Is it shame? Why not tell him? | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 7:48:52 AM | thanks Ron,
if you do say it on here, then at least everyone can see what you have to say.. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 7:58:01 AM | Thanks smiling Duck,
tell you what, for someone so young, you give good advice....
thanks for the hug...
i realized what my problem is.....and i am working on it, it shouldn't happen again, if it does then my marriage must have problems i don't see.
would love to chat to you, email me if you like...as i'm married i can't email you. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 8:12:12 AM | | Aren't you taking a risk by posting on this site and admitting your ambivalence about your husband? Are you so sure he's not reading this? Maybe this is your way of sending a message to him. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 8:12:42 AM | in reply to, spacemanspiffter,
yes your right, it could of got right out of control....but i stopped it.
Tell my husband? I did tell my husband, yes about the guy i fell for.....
it's all out in the open.  | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 10:19:54 AM | | ...i hate this! when people are so judgemental about loving MORE than one soul....DO YOU ONLY SAY TO UR FIRST BORN? I LOVE ONLY YOU? NEVER YOUR NEXT CHILDREN?.....of course, what she DOES with these feelings, is what people COULD be (not should, but could be) judging her on....YES, we are all human.....we all LOVE....deeply totally, and sometimes (sadly, mostly) we fall in love more than once, during a love we have already......i dont think LOVE is something, we can limit....something WE shouldnt limit....there arent many things in this big bad world? that would be as nice.....as TOO MUCH LOVE, or a woman, that has the heart big enuff to hold more than one love.............x0x0x0x0 lisa | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 1:26:38 PM | yes, I do believe whole heartedly that you can be in love with two people.
i am madly deeply in love with two people.
niether one of them lacks something.. I find in the other. quite the contrary actually. Both of them possess the same qualitys. Hense why its easy for me to be in love with them both.
people will tell me.. somethings missing with the other.
people will tell me.. if you truely loved someone.. you can't truely love another consecutively.
I'll tell them.. they are wrong.
we've been told over and over again.. that being in love is reserved for you and another. Thats it.
Im tired of hearing this.
its something everyone is capable of. But is it nessisarily a good thing for everyone? likely not.
anyways.. OT poster.. yes, I do believe you can be in love with more then one person. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 1:50:39 PM | Star, I understand your point about sharing, but the experiences are of a VERY personal nature and not for public exposure. I don't mind sharing them with you as I feel that they are relevant to your situation and, I hope, helpful. There is also far too much to explore with you than there is space for here.
I will make a public observation on your original question, though: if you had two children, could you love only one of them?
Ron. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 7:19:56 PM | Ok, hold on.....this question of "if you had two children, could you only love one of them" is not a fair comparison.
You can love many people, but to be IN LOVE requires two people and we are talking about IN LOVE in a different way than you love your friends, or your parents or your children.
I am pretty sure that if the two people you say you can love at the same time found out that they didn't have your undivided love for them only, how do you think it would make them feel?
It would make me feel pretty shitty.
Would you like to be loved by someone who also loved someone else?
I think not. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 7:44:25 PM | Haha -- so much for that. I tried e-mailing you and it said :
"star_123 does not wish to talk to you, and is not looking for what you are looking for."
Just because someone is younger doesn't mean they can't have good advice to share. = )
You're welcome for the hug.
Not sure if I'm allowed to post my e-mail on here but it's grape_sarcasm at yahoo dot com.
Talk to you later,
~Lu.
Remember to smile!!! = ) | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/22/2006 8:02:36 PM | Many of the responses people are making come from their deep social conditioning, so of course anything that is contrary to that world view is seen as wrong. For them, it IS wrong. However, if you don't have that same conditioning, other concepts of relationships are possible. Not necessarily wrong - but different. Other times and cultures have very different ideas about this, and they are not necessarily wrong.
The problem arises that potential partners may not share your perspective, and their particular conditioning is not compatible with yours. However, if it is, then almost anything is possible and can work. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/23/2006 2:08:33 AM | in reply to Kityk,
thanks for the post....i can't thank you enough ,
in answer to my own question,NO, it is not possible to love more than one person.
for all of you that didn't catch on, the net guy i was in love with was"STEVETHEEAGEL" which is why when he asked me for coffee i said sure....but after reading Kityk post, i have been told that even though he told me he was in love with me and felt guilty about what he was doing to his wife...he was also in love with many others. since emailing kityk it has been confirmed by steve that yes he was in love with others...so all the time he said i was special and could only wank on cam for me and i turned him on so much, all i can say, is i have learnt from my mistake....all married men on here are after one thing only...and to all the ones that told me to leave the net guy and think about my husband..well thank you for letting me see sence...i could of made a big mistake...so steve, like i always said to you..if you hurt me i will make sure people will know for what you are really like....a player. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/23/2006 3:18:50 AM | to all that chat to steve,
be warned..you are not the only one he loves... | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/23/2006 3:19:07 AM | Hello again:
In message 87 you state you told your husband about your internet affair (within reason) and not about the net guy.
You recently responded to me you HAVE told him about your internet affair and the net guy? So are you telling me you just recently fessed up with your husband you were thinking of meeting the net guy and had feelings for him? If you have been completely honest with your mate, my hat is off to you. More couples need to communicate, even if the communication is none to sweet. From my readings about this and you. I get the impression you are a bored housewife. The seven year itch is scratching at your door so to speak.
I see this as the norm in relationships and so long as you recognize it and communicate with your partner, you have done all you can do.
Best of luck in your marriage. | |
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| in love with two people
Posted: 3/23/2006 3:24:19 AM | | Thank you for the grand finale. You felt special because he could only wank on cam for you, and you accuse him of being a player? I love double standards, don't you all. | |
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