| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/7/2006 1:54:19 PM | Interesting. What if a legal separation is documented and in place?
It really depends on the details of the agreement, but generally if there is a legal separation agreement in place we can treat it like a divorce and do not require the consent of the other spouse when dealing with certain transactions involving matrimonial property (in my case those of a financial nature). I say "generally" because some separation agreements can become null and void if spouses move back in together for a certain period of time, while others may not clearly specify that one spouse is giving up any interest they may legally have in the matrimonial property. However, where there is no formal separation agreement in place, we do require the consent of the other spouse even if they are a "non-owning spouse", such as in the case of a matrimonial home where one spouse is not on title and no longer lives there. They really aren't 100% free to do as they please with their own property in this scenario.
With respect to estates, as a previous poster alluded to, I am aware of situations where despite the fact that a legal separation agreement was in place, when one spouse died and left his/her property to other family members/people it was successfully contested by the surviving spouse leaving the deceased's loved ones without or with less of their inheritance. It seems there may be a few loop holes in the system that can be taken advantage of. | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/7/2006 2:07:03 PM | I would not go out with a man who is "separated"...separated does not mean free. He may be free in his heart of hearts, but legally he would be committing adultry...that's why we cannot marry someone without first being divorced from our last spouse. If I can't marry him, I certainly would not invest time and energy into him. Not that I would marry anyone, but I would not spend time with someone already married...hense...separated still equals legally tied to someone...married. | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/8/2006 6:30:20 PM | intelligently put puppet master,no one could have said it better! | |
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Titian
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Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 830 | |
| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/8/2006 6:44:27 PM | | I DONT AGREE THAT SEPARATED ISNT SINGLE CAUSE IN SOME STATES ( NORTH CAROLINA )THEY WONT LET YOU GET A DIVORCE UNTIL AFTER A YEAR...... | |
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Tcat
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Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 831 | |
| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/8/2006 8:08:00 PM | Mark of the beast is right Val' :(
Time after time you see "I want someone honest" which I totally agree with btw. I'd rather be real about it and list seperated and not have to explain LATER to someone that took the time to write me and say "well I'm not really divorced yet..." In my mind doing it like that should be a bigger red flag then someone listing seperated right off the bat.
I think if it says seperated, why not just write and ask questions? If they don't respond with answers that work for you then move on. Whatever happened to benefit of the doubt? I'm starting to feel like I live on a different planet.
Happy  | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/9/2006 12:54:27 PM |
He may be free in his heart of hearts, but legally he would be committing adultry
it is not adultery if you are legally separated. you just can not get married.
now, here in bc, you have to remain separated for a year before the divorce can be finalized. which makes sense to me, in some ways. a lot of people wouldn't be ready to move on before that. i even got told on friday night that two years was the time frame that it takes before something meaningful can happen. i have to disagree however...only because the situation at hand has not been taken into consideration. i am not rebounding out of anger or spite. i am not rebounding period. i've had the meaningless flings...i'm looking for more now. and i would hate to think i would be judged by someone because of my legal status. in my heart and in my mind, where it really matters... I AM SINGLE. i guess i should have stuck to that mentality before i got married too...as that little piece of paper is a HUGE pain in the glutes to erase! 
*smoochie smoochie*
*~dee~* | |
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NZ
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Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 833 | |
| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:01:18 PM | | My question. I am dating a legally separated guy. He has been separated for almost two years. He says he's waiting for his ex-wife to claim divorce so he can give her the least amount of money. He says he doesn't want to initiate divorce because she'll run off with like half a million dollars. I asked him when he thinks he'll be divorced? He estimates 1-2 years from now. He is very bitter cuz she left him for another man. No kids. OK...so what's the big deal about money? It seems he and his ex are trying to see who will blink first. Do I believe this money excuse for not filing for divorce? | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:24:01 PM | Separated is SEPARATED. It's not divorced. If you are not free to marry, then you are not single. Look it up in the dictionary if you can't grasp the definition. It isn't that hard!
As far as I'm concerned, if he/she does not have that divorce decree, then I will not date them. Period | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/9/2006 8:57:21 PM |
Separated is SEPARATED. It's not divorced. If you are not free to marry, then you are not single. Look it up in the dictionary if you can't grasp the definition. It isn't that hard!
If your only goal is to marry, then better date only single people, but if what you want is someone that is really FREE, "divorced" may not be that different from "separated" because of all the remaining duties that often remain after divorce (children, custody issues, child or spouse support, etc.). On the other hand really SINGLE people (meaning never married) diminishes quickly with age.
So in one one way or another you will end up finding only "attached" people in your age range. There is no escape to it. (Not my case, fortunately, since I am divorced, without children, and without any remaining ties, but I am probably in the minority . . .) | |
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| Separated is always NOT single.
Posted: 7/10/2006 1:43:05 PM | I am divorced/single. 
What a state mandates is not part of the equation, to me. If a person is not divorced then they remain attached, if only legally, to the spouse. At any given time either party could make the right promise or have second thoughts and the marriage is salvaged, if only temporarily. The fact is that only the person who is separated can know the truth, if then. Maybe the question should be whether or not I am willing to take a chance on a person who is seperated.
Ted | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:27:39 PM | | It's kinda BS when people say theydon't have the money to get divorced when they are separated. it really only costs about $50 to file yourselves if you both don't have any arguments. People stay "separated" to keep their options open. | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/12/2006 4:41:36 AM | ARe you all on f^%$n glue????? With the yahoos on this site you are questioning people who aren't legally divorced????? I am separated and getting married again is the FARTHEST on my mind especially after meeting the men ON THIS SITE so far and anyone who has never had a committed relationship has NO RIGHT to question my status, you should be glad that MOST of us are honest enough about it.....and YES I said MOST.....the REST are the ones you should be attacking!!!!
and for your information a PROPER Divorce can run you $600, with no fights, you must of gotten your $50 divorce at the same place you got married..... | |
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NZ
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Joined: 7/9/2006
Msg: 839 | |
| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:13:58 AM | | To Atomik, I meant if my boyfriend files for divorce he will lose half a million dollars, cuz here in Ontario Canada, the law says half of all assets go to the ex-wife. He's already lost his entire house to her, as a legallly separated guy. Now, he's fighting for his life savings, pension plan, life insureance, and the amount of alimony to give her. So the divorce is taking so long cuz of all the negotiations. His ex is determined to squeeze him of all of what he's got. So if he files, she ccan ask for the moon and the stars. If she files, he can negotiate down what he gives her. | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:24:41 PM | and when you go on and on and on about how all separated people are nothing but trouble.....its not because they are separated.....its because they are idiots.
I love people who blame circumstances on why relationships don't go right....."its because he/she was only separated"....Oh yah....the day the divorce happens they turn into faithful, loyal, WONDERFUL ready for a commitment, type of people.....SURE.
Unbeeeeelievable. If they are an idiot while being separated, they will be an idiot once divorced. Better come up with better reasons why your relationships fail. | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:33:46 PM | | I was legally separated for 4 years before filing for divorce. To me "separated " kind of gives the impression that there may be some hope for reconciliation - kind of like a trial divorce.I would imagine that most would feel better about dating someone divorced as opposed to separated- it eliminates a lot of doubts..... I didn't feel right about starting dating until i was divorced-and wouldnt really expect to start a new relationship while still technically married. | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/13/2006 4:40:06 PM | | its maybe only $50 to START the process - but i can tell you firsthand - its close to $500 from start to finish-thats an uncontested divorce- you do the paperwork yourself /serve papers all that good stuff etc. contested, with a lawyer - a lot more than that.......... | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/13/2006 10:49:24 PM | | No. Period. And if he says he can't get divorced because of money issues, then he has to decide what is more important to him, being with someone he loves or parting with his dollars. | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/14/2006 10:53:38 PM | lol i agree with you a hundred percent ... especially when he doesn't support his kids .. a dead beat dad .. i tend to call them sperm donnors.......... why spend money to get some papers signed... have been seperated for year about 5 years and it's gotten to a point whre i say that i'm single.. cause there is no emotional or physical ties.. after all he's done he should pay for the paper work doing enough with the kids to have to spen more money .. so when i say i'm seperated it means legally devorced .... cause devorced is cut all ties from the heart .. the paper work is pure breaucrat.. governments way of paying for people on welfare 
so the next person who says that they are seperated don't shut them out .. allow yourself to hear their story cause i share the same story and in my eyes i'm single | |
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RitaZ
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Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 846 | |
| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/14/2006 11:12:03 PM | I am legally separated, going through the hell of an embittered divorce right now. In my eyes,I would never, in a million years take back my ex. Not for reasons of starvation, or otherwise. So yes, I am single. I have my life, and it does not include him, other than the occasional court date, and the bucks I shell out to the lawyer.
On the other hand, I have a friend who is separated, and is still quite hung up on his soon-to-be-ex, and he, in my humble opinion, is not ready for another relationship, in any way shape or form.
It depends on the person, and where their head is at. Legally separated, in the eyes of the law, is the exact same thing as a divorce, with the exception that you are not free to remarry. Seeing as I would not marry the prince of Whales without a pre-nup, that is not of consequence to me. Is my heart available to love and accept love? Hell yeah! | |
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mizbex
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Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 847 | |
| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/15/2006 5:43:43 AM | | No. Separated is not divorced. I recently went through this, against my better judgement I might add, and even tho we truly cared for one another and I can honestly say loved one another, it did not work out because of his divorce proceedings which were very complicated and included custody issues. There was too much that needed to be finished in his marriage before he could focus on a new relationship. It was a hard decision, but I had to walk away because I really felt that he needed to figure out what was best him and his children without the pressure of a new relationship. We stay in touch and will be friends forever because of the deep connection we had, I will never regret this experience, because he made me believe in love again but I would not get involved with someone who was only separated again. | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/17/2006 12:58:59 AM | ruckus123.... I agree with you. Why not go for it? Me personally I am separated just waiting until he gets back from Iraq to go through with the divorce. (he was the one who ended it) I consider being separated ok to go out and date. Especially if one of the partners say it's over.
Life is too short why not have fun while you can. | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/17/2006 1:01:40 AM | | You dont live on a different planet. And what you said is the truth. I would much rather put separated down then single or married and then have to explain. If I needed to explain more then they can write and ask. | |
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| Is separated single?
Posted: 7/17/2006 5:35:51 AM | I think this is more than one sword that is double edged, I am currently separated and we have no anomosity nor arguements, we have talked about it and she told me verbatim that she is done with the marriage. I told her that there is no way you can control your feelings for me and I think that your doing the right thing by opening up with your feelings. So we agreed to be "Separated". On the other side of the sword, who am i to say "no you will find a way to love and we will continue to be married." so haveing said all that I am forced to agree to be separated, does that make me an idiot? or less of a person that is married or divorced? Im not one to judge but its an avenue that i have to conform to.
P.S. we will get a divorce in the soon. its already been decided.
Everyone have a great day and i hope everyone finds what their heart and soul needs.
 bye. | |
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