| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 1:05:15 AM | | Thats surreal man. Anyone on here, if your friend came to you with the same story, you would be sympathetic, and understand their need to vent a little. Sorry man, but its almost funny, these conclusions drawn about your character, just because you are (justifiably I think) a little pissed off. But whatever, who cares, move on, hope you have better luck next time. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 2:39:21 AM | Yes I am upset that I got played, and I wanted to know if anything could be done about people who ABUSE this site. Yes, I got mad, but that doesn't mean that I was not taken advantage of. I am not the one who did something wrong
It seems you are seeing your Point of View only, not the overall Picture, as that would include numerous variabilities such her getting wet feet.
Are we gonna expose and ban someone because of the possibility she deliberately played you?
Do we even have the right to drag her on the carpet and make her accountable for her No-Show?
It would be scary if we did.
Obviously, I was hurt. At what point did I say anything hostile? If you read my posts, you will see that I say I don't want revenge, I want to expose her as a phony.
We have absolutely no concrete facts other than what you claim that she is a phony without instituting an investigation., which ... we cannot do under these circumstances. She has the 'Right' to not participate because it would amount to an undue intrusion into her personal Life.
In short, we cannot do what you ask for ... not possible under these circumstances.
But whatever, she is still a phony, and I don't like that, and I don't want it to happen again, or to anyone else. I wish something could be done about phonies.
A wish not grantable under these circumstances. If she had attempted to physically injure you, or anything else that would point that she may be dangerous, then we'd look at that in another light. There is no rule here at POF that states anyone has to show up for a date.
sounds like you invested too much (intellecutally) in this date..... before you even arrived.
Exactly ... you may be moving too far ahead of yourself.
My conclusion is that women constantly complain about insincere men, but woman cannot accept that many women are also insincere.
Women? Everyone is different. They don't all live in the same Hive and talk about you before coming out to see you for a date.
the guy is looking for some understanding and compassion. if you have nothing nice to say then dont' say anything at all. only a moron sits back and picks on a person for saying what he feels.
Re-read the Thread. He wants to expose her as a phony. There is no such thing here on the Forums.
2) people tend to respond on the forums by calling you a whiner, even if you have a legitimate complaint.
Its not a 'legitimate complaint' in respect to POF taking any Actions against anyone. This kind of thing happens daily at any dating site.
Bottom line ... you got dumped, and she can do that any way she deems suitable. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 2:50:54 AM | "Something should be done about phonies. "
How would you do that anyway. There's no concrete evidence that she isn't who she says she is. All she did was flake on you. That's not the websites problem not is it even against any laws.
And even if she was a poser and got discovered, she'd simply do it again under another login, so what good would that do? | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 6:30:49 AM |
Its not a 'legitimate complaint' in respect to POF taking any Actions against anyone. This kind of thing happens daily at any dating site.
Good point. It's just one of the hazards of the game. We may not like it, but that's the way it is and we either play knowing that or we don't play at all. It could have happened on a blind date set up by acquaintances, on a website (which it did), or after meeting someone in public and exchanging phone numbers. People do crappy things to one another sometimes.
Chalk it up to a bad experience and a person who doesn't have the guts or courtesy to say, "I'm not interested" face-to-face.
Good luck. | |
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batta
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Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 55 | |
| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 11:02:54 AM | | i see people say to his guy move on, suck it up, so what..... well everybody has that one nerve that if stepped on sends you into a fit. cut the guy slack. he has the right to rant. he is expressing his opinion. why is it nercessary for people too push anothers buttons? in time he will *move on* till then .... RANT AND RAVE! get it all out. then close the book. | |
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RENAM
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Joined: 1/19/2006
Msg: 56 | |
| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 11:06:37 AM | | dont feel bad i trusted someone that i met on here and thought that we had something. he listed long term said all the right things but the oops he is really just using this as a meat market and we are very vunerable to injuries to the heart. Guys trust me on this one just tell them you want a piece, when they figure it out it always gets ugly. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 8:20:23 PM | {It seems you are seeing your Point of View only, not the overall Picture, as that would include numerous variabilities such her getting wet feet.
Are we gonna expose and ban someone because of the possibility she deliberately played you?
Do we even have the right to drag her on the carpet and make her accountable for her No-Show?
It would be scary if we did.}
 Hey on Plentyoffish anything is possible...Anything. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 8:29:42 PM | Plenty of fish should FORCE her on a date with this guy & film it for
a Blind Date segment, I'm betting the ratings would be through the roof. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 8:54:00 PM | | I have had women who are 20 yrs older than me pursue me and flirt with me and I just like to test how far they will go with it. They usually make up some excuse why they cant meet you and you never hear from them again. There is a category of people who just dont take anything seriously. I would guess that the percent of people who dont show up is like 40 percent or something. I condemn all phonies and wonder why the CIA does not prosecute the worst offenders. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 8:56:37 PM | [quote ts not a 'legitimate complaint' in respect to POF taking any Actions against anyone. This kind of thing happens daily at any dating site.
Maybe steps could be done to prevent it from happening. Maybe POF could make a section for people to review other members. On ebay, people can complain about sellers. Maybe dating sites should have a place for people to complain about people who are not for real, people who are no good, etc etc. It would add another dimension to the site. Yeah, I know you won't actually do it. But I think it not a terrible idea. Yeah, there would be a lot of nasty talk probably, but whatever. People don't have to listen to it or believe it, if they don't want to, they can still find out for themselves by actually getting to know the person. But maybe it would be good to have some kind of warning. Like a link on someone's profile that says, "see what others have said about this user". See how many give them a bad rating. Why can we rate peoples pictures, but not their character, truthfulness, etc?
Bottom line ... you got dumped, and she can do that any way she deems suitable.
Maybe we should all follow suit with that attitude. So the next time some naive woman cries her little heart out that some mean nasty pig took advantage of her, played her, and used her for sex, then dumped her, I will tell her, "too bad, you got dumped and the guy has a right to do it any way he wants." He has no responsibility to you, or anyone.
Thanks to all who understand why I was upset, and why I felt the need to rant. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 8:59:13 PM | Ahem, didn't you change your profile before? Isn't that being phony dude?
And you REFUSED to show her your picture, did you not?? Isn't THAT a form
of phoniness???? Maybe you should look at your own actions and allow
us to judge you in the same light. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 9:02:10 PM |
Ahem, didn't you change your profile before?
I don't even know how to answer that. Weird logic, you have.
And you REFUSED to show her your picture, did you not??
Nope, you misread that somewhere. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 9:11:34 PM | You don't know the logic of changing your profile? ...yet you did?
2nd, did you or did you not refuse to share your pic w/ her? (now mind you
she's probably reading this and may rebut anything you have to say - perhaps
through me).
Everybody has their side of the story. Anyway, it's no big deal. People change their
mind and get scared. But some people get enraged. What's worse? | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 9:27:42 PM | how does changing one's profile make them a phoney? 
anyway I don't unerstand why people are coming down so hard on this guy, I bet if it were a woman posting this thread all the open arms and offered shoulders to cry on would come out. that is shittttty to have someone lead you on like that. still you can't start a "warning" thread about someone.
OP: having a section on a dating site to report bad dates is a bad idea, what goes on between two people is strictly between those two. and you cannot form a public "complaint box" to report people who you've had a bad date with.Imagine all the people who would lie and say bad things about others simply out of spite because they were dumped, ignored or told they were no longer interesting. it would be chaotic. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/6/2006 10:15:19 PM |
....cannot form a public "complaint box" to report people who you've had a bad date with. Imagine all the people who would lie and say bad things about others simply out of spite because they were dumped, ignored or told they were no longer interesting. it would be chaotic.
I'm beginning to think that there is one ~ gotta talk to PoF about why they forwarded it all to my inbox | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/7/2006 9:36:03 PM | Oowwweee! the temporary end of a very hot thread. I'm not going to go to the why people (OK in this case one woman) do or did what they do. And I don't imagine many people would hang out on a dating site that prosecuted bail outs, no shows, no such numbers, blocked e mails, husband answers, #1 boy friend answers, phoney answers (and I'm still just in the man seeking woman catagory here...)
To quote two young wise dudes that I know, "We all know people who have acted like that....we'll all BEEN people who have acted like that."
OK. Not exactly like that, like this or like some other way. But disrespectfully or casually cruel or too gapped to care or ....whatever.
But what I hear is that this is about USING SOME TIME. And I agree that time is the most valuable commodity. There's nothing more important than time. Try holding your breath or wishing desperately that a friend could come back to earth and say goodbye or say anything even for a moment more. So young poster, you spent some time in a way that didn't move you towards what you thought you wanted. People here are willing to be mad at you and with you and stick up for the other person or not..but .its all just stories we tell ourselves. Only one person MIGHT know why she didn't stay or arrive for the date. The only piece you can work on is your own. Different questions, different approach, and hopefully a different kind of fish. To reach that goal - you have to be an experienced fisherman.
Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. I hate it sometimes but its true. | |
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batta
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Joined: 2/13/2006
Msg: 68 | |
| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/7/2006 10:41:04 PM | | sunfish..dude the one and only thing to remember is, this is a internet dating site. when people come here they want to put their best foot forward. you wanna show yourself up a little in hopes of *maybe* finding somebody. some embellish some don't. some think my picture is fake. truth be known. if i took that same picture with my arm down, my gut would not be so flat. so you see everybody tries to look or do their best to impress. thing is honesty.... H.O.N.E.S.T.Y <----- hey word. if your honest when you comunicate with another, it can't come back and bite you in the a.s.s. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/7/2006 10:55:54 PM | how does changing one's profile make them a phoney?
To start again....to disassociate yourself from what you posted earlier? Dumping your
earlier profile and starting completely new does not sound like a ring of confidence
to me. But, we're talking abstract. I'm not saying he's a phony but just
illustrating how everybody can easily construe anothers actions in a bad light. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/7/2006 11:35:08 PM | @lazyboy
I'm curious...why does this upset you so? What difference does it really make to you if someone decides to change what he or she has written? Perhaps when a person changes their profile, they feel they can more accurately describe them self after thinking about it for a few days. I've changed mine (on other sites...I'm too lazy to modify it here) a few times before...doesn't make me a phony, it just means I wish to show another side of my personality and want to keep it fresh (sometimes the newer profiles show up at the top of the list in a search). We aren't only what we've written, are we? I know the people I've encountered are much more multi-dimensional than what I've read about them in their profiles. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 12:06:02 AM | I'm not upset. I was addressing the OP specifically. I saw his profile and I shared
my observation on it. But If he was trying to retool as you suggested, it lacks
any details of himself. So, I was trying to get him to appreciate that we could
not make any assumptions of each other - whether we think they are phony or not, that
would be only an assumption. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 12:22:12 AM | sunfishone2001, we're all hoping to thicken your skin and toughen you up for your next beating - and another one is coming down the pike, trust me.
Plenty more are coming, so toughen up, and when you meet a kind person - you'll be grateful, delighted, and respond with enthusiasm to even the 'ugly' ones whose only beauty is within... 
Good luck to you...
Aloha | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 3:20:50 AM | "Maybe steps could be done to prevent it from happening. Maybe POF could make a section for people to review other members. On ebay, people can complain about sellers. Maybe dating sites should have a place for people to complain about people who are not for real, people who are no good, etc etc. It would add another dimension to the site. "
It would be useless, Sun.
Don't you understand? Anyone can delete their old profile and just create a new one in 5 minutes. What good would it do to tell everyone what their old profile's name was?
Besides that's witch hunting. If they got hasseled enough, assuming anyone even cared to look at that warning section, they'd just lay low awhile or create a new profile and delete the old one and be back at it. Pointless. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:26:08 AM |
It would be useless, Sun.
OK, so I guess the warning thing would be useless. I was mad. I think I finally getting over this now. ^_____________________________________________^
I'm not saying he's a phony but just
illustrating how everybody can easily construe anothers actions in a bad light.
Apparently, it's not easy because you have failed. No one agrees with you that there's anything with changing a profile.. | |
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