| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 10:45:58 AM | | I see no rules in this forum for standing someone up. Maybe she seen you and didnt like you and split. Get on with your life dude, and forget it! | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 11:06:43 AM | I am shocked that people are actually trying to rationalize and justify an act of outright rudeness and disrespect... maybe her father didnt give her enough hugs when she was a kid? Get a grip!
This dude got played. Plain and simple. It happens a lot... and it happens on this site a great deal more than any other dating site I have tried (which stands to reason because its FREE to toy with people here if you are the type of person to do so)
The mere fact you are so upset needing to bust her chops to supposedly 'protect' others (by making a thread on this Forum about it) from such abuse or anything that could be equated with vengeance, is almost a dead-giveaway there is something not right about you. My guess is you might have violent tendencies, out-of-control personality, vengefulnesses, but based on your reactions so far, I would not recommend you as a top candidate for dating. Your response to a stood-up date are on the verge on being scary.
Ok that was LAME! When did you get your doctorate in anything? He didnt imply any kind of aggression or violence towards anyone. He was irritated about someone playing a game on him... as he should be! If I walk up to you and kick you in the balls would you say thank you sir may I have another?? Hell no! If you do... then maybe YOU have a problem.
I have been on some sites where you can leave feedback on people you have met. I found it useful because they had criteria for users to fill in (did they look like their pic etc.) Very similar to Ebay transactions and feedback. You mutually log on a section of the site registering that you are meeting, and then you are allowed to leave feedback on the date for others to see.
Obviously yes, some people would abuse this from time to time... but when a person has 20 feedbacks and none of them are good I think its safe to say thats a pattern emerging. I think it could also be a useful security tool. If someone goes missing after a date, there is a record of who they were with. Every little bit helps!
Just my .02 | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 1:27:32 PM | | maybe she was like me..embarrassed..I had an accident on the way home from work and didnt even get the guys phone number! I spent most of the evening in emergency because of a knee injury. I do not have a PC so I use my work computer and my co-workers computer to get on this site. Once I got back to work.I emailed this guy and he sounded really ticked. I said I was sorry but he said forget it..oh well.. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 6:53:12 PM | | yeah maybe she DID show up but you didn't see her. When she saw you, she may have decided she didn't like what she saw and bailed. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:32:34 PM |
I am shocked that people are actually trying to rationalize and justify an act of outright rudeness and disrespect.
YEAH MAN!!!! It's fookin bizarre! It's like telling my story of how someone threw an egg at me from their car (which happened today), and then people try to come back and rationalize it, as if, "maybe they were just eating a raw egg in their car and lost control of their hand, and the egg just by chance hit you when it fell out of the car". Or how about, "maybe the egg was rotten and to defend themselves from salmonella, they threw it out the window, and you just happen to be in the egg's path by accident." Or how about this one... "maybe the driver brought an egg in to the car without knowing that the passenger has a mortal fear of eggs. When the passenger saw the egg, they freaked out and threw the egg out the window.... but don't accuse them of doing it on purpose." It's frickin weird!!!
I have been on some sites where you can leave feedback on people you have met. I found it useful because they had criteria for users to fill in (did they look like their pic etc.) Very similar to Ebay transactions and feedback.
Which sites? That sounds like it could actually work. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:38:50 PM | | I think standing up a date like that is very rude. I am sorry that you had to go through that. I went through that humiliation a couple of years ago, and six months later I saw the twerp's name in the engagement listings in the paper! I feel sorry for the woman who married him. | |
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mft
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Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 82 | |
| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/8/2006 8:44:19 PM | Post a Pic on your profile of yourself. Then we would be in a far better position to reply to your 'Original Post'.
How refreshing! What an idea! Actually post a picture of yourself, a recent one at that...think of the possibilities. Putting a face with the words..hmmm.
Maybe she got busted, looks nothing like she represented in picture or words? Or maybe she realized she didn't want to take the time out of her life on a gamble about you.
The simpler this stuff gets, there always seems to be someone out there willing to crud it up! | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 3:31:18 AM | ^^^this probly wasn't the profile he used at the time, nor can we assume this is the picture he he had up at the time. You can change your picture everyday if you really wanted.
Reading the posts here though it looks like a pretty close minded (typical POF user) person here. He only wants people to tell him what he wants to hear and doesn't notice those other points of view that he doesn't. Its an attention thing...oh woe is me, feel sorry for me... Starting to look that way anyway. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 10:44:21 AM |
Reading the posts here though it looks like a pretty close minded (typical POF user) person here.
No..... there's nothing at all closed minded about your post. No no no, not at all snobby either. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 11:29:26 AM | | Hey OP, welcome to Life 101. She came, she chatted, she teased, and she stood you up. Now move on. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 6:24:20 PM | | Naawww,I think she chatted,she went to the date,saw something she didn't like(she either didn't like you or felt unsafe),left(as is her right),ended contact.That's not phony...that's smart. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:07:27 PM | | yes you go ahead and expose those phonies. Good luck in that plan. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:50:05 PM |
I think she chatted,she went to the date,saw something she didn't like(she either didn't like you or felt unsafe),left(as is her right),ended contact.That's not phony...that's smart.
She kinda deserved what she got...i mean, how could anybody not want to
view a pic before they go and meet? Hopefully this is a growth experience
for her.
NEVER EVER meet anybody who can't afford to put up a pic, or has an excuse
that their cam is broken; blah blah blah...it's all BS. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:50:10 PM | No, spincycle, nothing gives her the right to be so RUDE. Standing up to someone who has planned a date is plain old RUDE.
There's NO rationale that makes that kind of crass behavior acceptable!! | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:56:50 PM | DW: if you showed up and you saw the most crazed looking dude you've
laid your eye's on, would you sit down with him?
The RIGHT? Come on, let's get real; if you refuse to show your pic, then
there's no warranty that your date is going to show up. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 7:58:10 PM | who are you to think that this person is phonie?
just because she wasnt what she seemed to you, doesnt mean that she isnt someone elses soulmate. Its really sad when we begin to judge those who dont caiter to our every need.
Stop trying to be a Hero to us all!
Forget about her and move on! Thats all you can do | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:00:03 PM | Uh lazyboy, get with the program - he DID indicate that they HAD exchanged pictures.
It's rude to stand somebody up, it really is. Yes, maybe she was nervous - maybe HE was nervous and had to psyche himself up all day to get the courage to follow-through and meet her, anybody ever think of that?
She chatted with him right up until before he left to meet her - giving him every indication that she'd meet him....then after she stands him up, she blocks him.
I remember my first few times meeting someone this way and I was horribly nervous, very close to throwing up.......and it did cross my mind the day before to email them and apologize and tell them I couldn't go through with it, that I was too much of a chicken, but I decided to bite the bullet and do it - but the point is, I wouldn't lead a guy on right up until the last minute and then stand him up, that's the epitome of game-playing, immature and rude. And what if she was too nervous to follow-through? What stopped her from being a decent human being such that she'd at least have the shred of courage it would take to email him and apologize for not showing up but explaining that she was too nervous - no, instead she just blocked him.
And what if she did meet him and could see him from a distance and didn't like his look - is that any reason to scurry off and leave someone waiting for you? I can't tell you how many times I've met someone who didn't appear like their picture and I knew the minute I saw them that I wasn't attracted and never could be - but I wasn't a b*tch about it. I'd just keep the coffee meeting short, big deal.
It's a sad day when we justify and excuse bad behavior. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:04:31 PM | If he was crazed looking, ie stoned or dangerous looking, I'd call the police. Then we would address it as a safety issue. If it's merely something not attractive looking, I would still be polite and show up. Then I would at least thank the man for his time, and explain that he's not a match. I think that would hurt less than just totally blowing the man off.
What ever happened to manners in this country?????? I wish we would put more emphasis on manners and etiquette in the schools so that kids can learn how to behave in a respectable manner (no pun intended!). I realize that is the parents' job, but some parents just don't have a clue. The schools should help out with this--hey our kids are our future. We should help them along the path of life.
Now I agree I was getting off topic, now back on---I just had someone that I was corresponding with here on POF hurt me badly by closing the account suddenly and with no further explanation. That really hurt. I Have no idea why, and I just wish I had some warning or an explanation. It is hurtful to do that. I'd rather be told that I'm not a good match for the person so I could move on and go back to  instead of scratching my head and wondering why this happened. Closure DOES help! | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:06:54 PM | | I met someone from the net once.He turned out be a psychotic schizophrenic.I cut off communication,changed my number and am moving.I don't owe him an explanation.And I don't want to hear his.That's not rude or krass.That's staying alive to tell about it.He was a total figment of his own imagination.When I told him I wanted to leave and he got out his pistol should I have told him that he was being inhospitable?And asked him to use his manners? | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:08:45 PM | Well then, let's just chalk it up to naughty girls & boys playing around. How do
you even know that the 'girl' wasn't actually a couple of 12 year old boys
playing around??????? If I shared with you what we did as kids you'd
be surprised...I was surprised we made it past our teens in one piece with
the stunts we pulled. We were NOT very nice but enjoyed a nice laugh
more than life.
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:14:14 PM | | ^^ serioulsy come off of it, it doesn't matter what they/it was. the point still is, it was very rude. cut this guy some slack. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:17:01 PM | That's why we have POLICE!! It's different when you are talking about SAFETY. I can understand in that case. But the majority of situations aren't because of mental illness, it's because of RUDENESS!!
It's inexcusable unless you are talking about safety. I Hope you called the police when you had the guy pointing a pistol at you!!!!
With that said, I have been on the receiving end of being stood up, and it HURTS. Sorry, it's RUDE and there are no excuses. I wouldn't hurt a fly, and this jerk later came up with a lame excuse. So I hung up on the brat and went back to fishing! | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:17:43 PM |  man I agree with you anybody that dont take the time. to really know someone well enought. she as to be a phony oooo u want to expose ok let have the name you know just incase she stands one of us up  how good can it get | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:18:08 PM | | You're right.I should have said,"Quit pointing that gun..it's RUDE!"But my WITS took over my manners. | |
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