| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:20:33 PM | I still hope you called the police!! Of course, manners go out the window when we are talking about safety.
BUT with that said, just standing up someone without a valid reason is still RUDE. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:38:04 PM | | Um, spincycle - obviously your experience is CLEARLY in a different category than the Original Poster's, wouldn't you say? ..so I'm not sure why you're being all snotty and hostile. Of course you had every right to break off all contact with someone who was deeply mentally ill, who had a weapon and who scared the hellouttaya...but in the Original Poster's case, the chick didn't even have the class to meet him as she stated she would. Apples and oranges here. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:43:13 PM |
Apples and oranges here.
......or nuts and bananas...mmmmm....possibly the fruit variety also. Potato or patatoe.
I know it's time for dinner now. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:44:32 PM | | Thank you Sienna, you said it much better than I could, and you hit the nail on the head! | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 8:56:29 PM | | I'm not being snotty...I'm joking around...I'm glad to be here(I shoulda put laughing guy icon on posts)I truly believed I was not going to survive that and I am still processing what happened.IF I can find a way to laugh about it..I'm going to.My point about the original post is if the woman pulled up and her instincts told her to get the hell out of dodge...she is right to. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:01:42 PM |
Naawww,I think she chatted,she went to the date,saw something she didn't like(she either didn't like you or felt unsafe),left(as is her right),ended contact.That's not phony...that's smart.
People like you were discussed on the first couple of pages. It's funny how you assume, that there must have been something wrong with me, so she got scared and left. People seem to assume that the man is the crazy one, or the pushy one, and women cannot be in the wrong. It's a shame that you met a schizo, but that really has absolutely nothing to do with my situation. She was the one acting bazonkers. She was the one who insisted so strongly she wanted to meet me I was the one who had every reason to believe she was not right in the head. But I made the mistake of trusting her, and then I got played. It's not the end of the world, but it's not right, and I was mad.
How do you even know that the 'girl' wasn't actually a couple of 12 year old boys
playing around???????
EXACTLY LAZYBOY!!! THANK YOU!!! You FINALLY understand!!!! That is why I started this thread in the first place.... to EXPOSE those people who are not for real. Someone said that other dating sites actually have reviews on people, similar to ebay reviews (positve, negative, etc). I think it could work for this site too, and all dating sites. I think there are too many phonies on dating sites, who are here to mess with people. They are out there!!!! I am sick of it!!! And I'm sick of having eggs thrown at me when I go for a walk! There are people who have fun by making other people miserable. It's not right.
maybe HE was nervous and had to psyche himself up all day to get the courage to follow-through and meet her, anybody ever think of that?
Thank You Sienna!! You are a very nice lady. Yes, I was nervous. And the reason this made me so mad was because it wasn't over and done with instantly. We planned to meet 5 days in advance. I made sure I didn't schedule anything for that time. And for 5 days I was looking forward to meeting her, and I was pretty nervous and excited the whole time. I haven't met with someone in quite a long time. It was something to look forward to. I told friends that I was finally meeting with someone.
Whatever, I don't really care if people sympathize or not, I just told my story, hoping that maybe something could be done over time to stop phonies, and now I'm responding to whatever people say. If what you say is dumb, then I will not respond well. If what you say makes sense, then I will respond well. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:09:25 PM | Spincycle: sorry, I guess I took you the wrong way. Sorry for what happened to you.
So sunfishone - you said she was chatting with you, right up until you left to meet you. Was she being her usual self when chatting then? Was she definitely leading you to believe that she'd be meeting you? I get the impression that this is the case. That's what makes her so nasty - that she played you along right up until the last minute. If she'd had any class, she'd have at least given you some lame excuse then - to prevent you from wasting your time and nerves to go and meet her. She's a b*tch and I don't care if she was nervous, how much nerve does one have to have to drop an email and say "I'm very sorry, I really wanted to meet you but I'm too much of a chicken - I'd feel more comfortable to wait a bit and get to know one another better before we take that step -- OR -- I don't think this way of meeting someone is for me"
The fact that she blocked you and didn't even give you the opportunity to ask what happened, and the fact that she didn't even have the decency to offer an explanation or apology proves she's a cow, shame on her. | |
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~iiCe~
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Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 108 | |
| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:09:36 PM | if she is bozonkers... you should be glad to be rid of her.... and keep it quiet so she doesn't come back and get crazy on your ass..
jeeeezzzzzuuussssss..... why does it even matter.... life is not defined by this one incident... her reasons are hers... so be it... doesn't matter... not a deal...
bottomline... the only person that knows why this person didn't show is the person behind the profile.... her fears?? a joke??? something she saw?? something she heard?? who knows... it will be one of lifes biggest mysteries.... | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:49:43 PM | Hey, Sienna,
Yes, that was a great way to put it!! I think that woman is out in some field chewing on hay!! Good description. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/9/2006 9:56:58 PM | as a perpetually late person... i always worry this will happen! did you wait a while?  | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 3:44:58 AM | said it once I'll say it again, "exposing" the screennames would only let people know what the person's old screen name was. As soon as they got "exposed" they'd delete it and start a new one no one had any knowledge of and pick up where they left off.
Why do you keep supporting that "Lets expose them" theory"?
It probably was some bored guy or some teenagers messing with your head. Those are called posers. There is no way to "expose" people or posers or whatever. They will simply camoflage themselves into another identity and you'll only "think" you've triumphed.
Even if they didn't leave you can't warn the entire internet world. Most people wouldn't bother or wouldn't be sure of things based only on your side of the story and still talk to them anyway.
Just forget about it and move on. It happens. It sucks, shame on her/them/whatever, and learn from it. Life goes on. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:19:48 AM | I skipped a lot of pages and don't know where we're at here, but referring to the original post and the first page or replies...
Why is everyone defending this woman???
The man in this case is clearly the well-intended, earnest person who made a date and kept it, in good faith.
The Woman, right up until go time, allowed the man to believe she would honor the date and show up.
The Man wasted his time and resources in a tough world. He invested a degree of hope and faith that this system of meeting people was legitimate.
The Woman not only failed to show up, but did not let him know before his expenditure that she would not be showing up, for whatever reason. She then blocked him, without so much as a "sorry 'bout that!" and left him feeling like a total fool.
Why do we, more and more, defend people who are clearly WRONG?
I have no problem with mind-changing, cold-feet, and loss of interest. Nobody can be called wrong for that, but to some degree, when you enter a dialogue with another human being, it should go without saying that a certain amount of basic respect and decency exist.
This woman did not display basic courtesy, and therefore the allegation of "Phony" certainly applies. She undermines the entire good-faith nature of the system.
Yet people defend her. Meanwhile, there's one more Man out there feeling worse about the whole scene. The ripple effects from this kind of behaviour are staggering in the big picture.
But this woman? Angel! Probably pees champagne.
-Greg | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:33:53 AM | | Greg, not all of us are defending this nasty game-playing woman. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:34:33 AM | Well, I forgot the whole "Expose them" angle.
It's pretty much impossible as the above poster mentions. They'll come back.
I think your only recourse here is to just learn a lesson.
If you don't wish to be victimized again in this way, you have to learn to listen to your instincts.
1. Red Flags - Don't disregard them. I have a rule of three. Three Red Flags and I'm moving on. That may be too many, even.
2. Learn the basics of Psychology. Understand when someone is exhibiting symptoms of pahtology. (I learned a LOT just listening to "Loveline" over the years, funny and informative at the same time.)
3. Substance Abuse. If you are a drug user or heavy drinker, and/or you are hooking up with other drug users or heavy drinkers, understand that you are shooting yourself in the foot right out of the gate. Drug use and Alcohol abuse are signs of past truama and unresolved issues.
4. Get a phone number and a first and last name. If you cannot get these things, you are most likely dealing with someone who is fake, and/or so far removed from the basics of everyday life that some sort of trauma or issue certainly exists.
If you get a grasp on those four things, you'll be doing a lot better for yourself.
Our society produces a lot of broken people. I made many mistakes over the years thinking that damaged people "will come around" if only I show them some love. It just doesn't work that way. They need to help themselves and the sad truth is that they may very well go through life believing that they are okay and never get the help they need.
Be careful out there.
-Greg | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:36:01 AM | Sienna,
Yeah, I see that now, but wow, a staggering amount of people *are* defending her. I find it really disturbing.
Probably the same people who voted for Bush  | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:42:23 AM | | you got stood up. Suck it up and move on. You're acting like you're the only one that it's ever happened to. Maybe she showed up early, staked you out, didn't like what she saw and bolted. Who cares, move on. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:47:34 AM | Amen, Some Honest Thoughts! You are a breath of fresh air!! I bet that most of those phonies DID vote for Bushboy!!
I am saddened that these people are defending this RUDE woman. She is rude, and did not learn the basics of manners. I still wish there was more emphasis in our society on proper manners. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:47:44 AM | you got stood up. Suck it up and move on. You're acting like you're the only one that it's ever happened to. Maybe she showed up early, staked you out, didn't like what she saw and bolted. Who cares, move on.
Wow FamilyMan, thanks for the ORIGINAL contribution to this thread. Not. Why bother responding if you think his reaction is so ridiculous and that being stood up is no big deal? Just because it's no big deal to you doesn't mean everyone should adopt that mindset. There are actually people out there in the world who treat others with courtesy and respect and I guess they ?naively expect the same in return - and when that doesn't happened, they're dumbfounded, confused and blown away.
I've never understood trite, non-helpful responses like "suck it up, move on, sh*t happens, deal with it" - they don't contribute anything of value and just take up bandwidth. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 8:54:30 AM | I've never understood trite, non-helpful responses like "suck it up, move on, sh*t happens, deal with it" - they don't contribute anything of value and just take up bandwidth.
you're off topic and you're threadcrapping. At least I used my post to offer advice instead of flaming others. My advice doesnt have to be original to be right. The high road is always the best road.
OT: I'm not being glib here. The best thing you can do here is forget about her and whatever you do don't seek out revenge. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 9:10:41 AM | What a bunch of shallow self centered people... so many of you say she didnt like what she saw so she bolted. As if thats any better than standing him up! Quit defending the biatch because thats what she is no matter what... a biatch who played a stupid child's game.
I have met people who TOTALLY lied about their appearance, (I know sumo wrestlers are considered athletes in some countries... but here being built like a sumo wrestler doesnt allow you to list your body type as athletic LOL) I still have the class to at least sit and have a cup of coffee with her... she is still female after all, and any practice is good! I do explain at the end of my cup of coffee why I wont be seeing her again though... lying is lying and I dont tolerate it. It only ends up costing me 20 minutes and a couple of bucks whoopy! | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 9:19:42 AM |
This woman did not display basic courtesy, and therefore the allegation of "Phony" certainly applies. She undermines the entire good-faith nature of the system.
Yet people defend her. Meanwhile, there's one more Man out there feeling worse about the whole scene. The ripple effects from this kind of behaviour are staggering in the big picture.
Women get stood up, too, you know. It's happened to me. Did I like it? No. Was I irritated? Yes. Did I waste a lot of time gnashing my teeth, and going on and on about how the guy was a phony? Nope, better things to do. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 9:21:49 AM | | So you got stood up. Big f*****G deal. Get over it. I bet I hold some kind of world record for getting stood up on dates. As strange as it sounds, I am usually somewhat relieved when they don't show up. I might be angry at first, but better to be stood up than to get involved with some psycho or flake that will play games and mess with your emotions. Now you no all you need to know about this girl: She isn't reliable. You want that in your life? | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 9:31:49 AM | Yeah, I see that now, but wow, a staggering amount of people *are* defending her. I find it really disturbing.
What I find disturbing is that ppl have no qualms whatsoever about casting judgement upon this woman based on the version of one man without even having to hear her side at all. Thank God that our laws don't work like this.
OT: To err is human; forgive divine. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 9:33:54 AM | | i don't get the point of this thread? OP: dude, seriously, i was expecting some decent insights into "how to spot a phony" not a whiny rant from someone who merely got "stood up" Look, i'll make this simple: "exposing" a phoney means nothing. They'll just create another profile AFTER you've been permanently banned for violating this site's EULA. | |
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| Exposing phonies
Posted: 3/10/2006 9:37:11 AM | Sunfishone
Get a hunky picture make a new profile weasel your way to her,and do the samething back to her. Some people ??????? | |
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