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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 9/6/2007 6:49:00 PM | I had a wonderful three year relationship with a man 17 years younger. He was born the year I went away to college. I saw a lot of raised eyebrows and heard a lot of questions until people saw us together--and then it was clear right away that we were well suited. We are friends to this day--we only broke up because his career took him to the other end of the country, and I was unwilling to make that move because of my career.
Moral of this story? It is only a problem if YOU think it is. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 9/6/2007 7:00:51 PM | | The older you get the less diference it makes. My ex wife was 12 years younger than me. And my last GF was 15. I have gone out with women 8-10 years older than me. Doesn't matter much, its not the years, it's the miles. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 9/6/2007 7:02:21 PM | | I'd date 9 years younger (prefer really no more than 5 years difference though) but I don't think I'd date 9 years older. It all depends on your lifestage, interests, and maturity level. So personally for me, I could see having lots in common with a 34 year old because of my active lifestyle and younger children but think I'd have very little in common with a 52 year old (probably for the same reasons). | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/25/2007 9:19:18 PM | If a man or woman is under 18 ... and the other person is 18 or older = bad news. Otherwise, according to quite a few people on these message board, everything else is fair game, A-Ok, ant not weird.
*Shrug*
To each their own opinion I guess! | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/25/2007 9:39:41 PM | | Judging a person by their age is the same as judging a person by their skin color. Until you know the individual, all you're doing is making a decision based on stereotypes. | |
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notard
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Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 157 | |
| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 7:00:40 AM | | I can not recall dating a woman as old as 9 years younger than I am in the last 14 years. Mostly they are 15 to 25 years younger. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 7:17:23 AM | | Absolutely not a problem. Women mature faster so really she is around the same age as you in her maturity level and therefore should be a good match. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 7:21:09 AM | | In my humble opinion ...YES IT IS!..... not for you but for her. I married a man 13 years my senior ( I was 29 when I did that too) and it was ok for the first few years of our marriage, but as we aged it became a big problem for many reasons: Health, energy levels, raising children, sex, direction, where our heads were at certain seasons in life. Not to say that others haven't succeeded in those relationships..... It's just worth taking a LONG, HARD look at for everyone's sake. Maybe he and I were not compatible to start with..... | |
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bsg789
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Joined: 12/4/2007
Msg: 160 | |
| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 7:54:31 AM | | For me absolutely not. I'm currently dating a man that is 12 yrs younger. Sure there is always a possibility that the relationship might end, but it might not be because of the age difference. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 8:00:37 AM | | You are worried about 9 years. My boys mother is 17 years younger than me. Current gal I run with is 20.....they both picked me. If you both are comfortable with each other dont't let it bother you. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 8:17:16 AM | | Other than biology issues where some people choose have children earlier and some decide to wait for later life...Age is just a number; as long as the two people are honest and focused upon the relationship then there should not be an issue. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 10:03:54 AM | | No. I don't think 9 yrs is a huge gap especially if both people are around 25-30 yrs older. I think a very large age gap such as 20-25 yrs could cause problems in a relationship. When I was 25-26, I dated a woman who was about 20 yrs older than me for 4-5 months. She was fairly attractive, had a great personality, shares some common interests with me, but we had different long term future plans largely because of the age difference. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 10:35:20 AM | My dad is 13 years older than my mom. I don;t think age matters. On average usually the male is 3 years older than the female. or could go the other way around. Age and time have no meanings love has no boundaries. I am 26 but would date a 45 year old if we cared aboptu eachother. I dated a 39 year old once. Its not a big deal my friend who is 25 is dating a 35 year old woman. she is awesome. Age, height, weight. If you judge someone by these things and choose nto to dat ethem becuase of this then you are shallow. Love has no boundaries. People date who they prefer. And women are mroe fickkle than men.
My requirements are that you are not moridly obese. Chubby is ok. If you are middle ages its ok as long as you look decent. If there si attraction I don;t think there is anything wrong with age.  I guess I am not as picky as some women.
Its ok for a girl to date an older person as long as they are not married and chaeating on them with you. Don't be a home wrecker now! | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 11:46:59 AM | I guess my question to the OP would be: "A big problem to *who*??"
If its not a problem to *you* as a couple, who gives a damn what anyone else thinks?? *They* aren't part of your relationship. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 5:20:08 PM |
...All of the women that I have dated in the past 13 years have been between 8 - 14 years younger than me, and the age diffeence was never an issue. ( including a 10 year LTR )
Personality and chemistry have a LOT more to do with compatability than age, provided that you actively keep yourself mentally and physically fit. If you look or act like her Dad, then there might be a problem... 
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 6:28:57 PM |
I once dated a man that was 9 years older than me, and broke it off because HE was so frickin immature.
ditto...unfortunately.
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 6:35:54 PM | Age is mind over matter/ if you both don't mind it doesn't matter. IF both people have the same intrests and maturity go for it. I have dated men my own age and as much as 11 years my senior. Not much difference.... it is all about compatability.  | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 10:34:31 PM | I know it would be a big problem if I were 25 and she were 16, and no problem if I were 98 and she were 89. But I am 38, and she is 29.
At the ages you two are at, nine years age difference is no big deal. As long as you guys have the normal degree of things in common that a successful relationship needs of course. Oh and the same would be the case in reverse by the way if she was 38 and you were 29. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/26/2007 10:54:23 PM | | as an over 50 woman, I was amazed that most of the men contacting me are younger ... but when I allowed myself to experience a man 17 years younger than myself it was amazing.... he was the best lover that I have ever had and probably the best that there is out there. So just relax and enjoy! Everything happens for a reason. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 7:05:02 AM | | Your focus should be on whether the two of you have good rapport and an understanding of what each other's desires and goals are. Are those met or can they be met and/or complemented by the other? The actual age difference is something that can either give your relationship more dimension or establish an easy excuse for not working out conflicts. You will choose by how much you value whatever you have already established between you. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 7:27:56 AM | | As long as both of you are over 18, only the two of you can decide this. As the poster above said, it's all about the rapport. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 9:04:31 AM | in the "good old days" it was usually the standard that men married 10 year younger women on average. same age marriages were unusual.
if you really-really want to make a rule out of it, than
1. ideally the best is if the man is about 5-10 year older than the woman.
2. max 5-10 year older woman or 20-25 year older man are the extremes that make a good match age range.
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