| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 9:37:40 AM | As you mature more and more, the age factor will turn gray instead of being so black and white as you have stated it.
When in your teens, a couple of years can make a huge difference in dating, maturity, and age requirements. In your 20's a few years will do the same thing. In your 30's most seem to think maybe five years difference is the best or you might be viewed as robbing the cradle or a cougar stalking the young......
Once you get to your 40's things open up much more depending on your maturity, fitness, looks, occupation, education, etc. The number of those that are in their 40's and look much younger are just as much as those that look their age or much older. Many of the activities that you frequent are also the same as those in their 30's, 40's, 50's and some 60's leaving a wide open group of potentials there to know.
Then the 50's comes along and some still have the "old way" of thinking that you should be in a wheel chair, bald, fat, thinking grand kids, etc., and this is so far from the truth. Most of us boomers are now heading in that direction and not accepting the "old" norms, staying in shape, exercising, starting new families, new jobs, more education, on and on, and thus for some the gap of age has now expanded even up to 20 years and many do not know what those ages are and who is what birth date.
I have dated those 10 to 20 years younger than I am, and some as much as 15 older, all have worked with attraction, chemistry and desire to know each other. Many other factors enter into it deciding long term commitment, and most end up being just friends or not workable, but for the most part, age was one of the last things to get in the way.
Just my opinion......   | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 10:29:08 AM | Age gap relationships may suit one person but it wouldn't suit another person. When it comes to age gap relationships, you and your partner have to make it work or simply, not give a crap about the age gap between them.
Age gap relationships for me personally, the highest age gap between me and a partner would be 5 oe 6 years, any higher then I wouldn't bother. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 11:40:18 AM | in the "good old days" it was usually the standard that men married 10 year younger women on average. same age marriages were unusual.
Then there were some "unusual" matches in my family in the "good old days" all of which lasted in happy marriages of fifty odd years or more where the man was between three and eleven years younger than the woman in the match.
Just go with what I call the ten-ten rule or the fifteen-fifteen rule depending on how comfortable you are with the range and how broad of a pool you want to choose from. (Making whatever exceptions you want from that rule for particular individuals or circumstances.) That is ten up and ten down or fifteen up or fifteen down for either party involved as we all presumably see women as much more capable than just being "dependent on men" and "cranking out babies": two reasons why the "rule" from the "good old days" was to some extent what it was.
And (of course) if those number dip below the age of eighteen, then freeze the bottom number at eighteen. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 11:47:02 AM | As far as kids go, with these two ages (he 38, she 29), I was 40 when my first child was born. I'm 52 and the kids keep me feeling 32!!
Go for it!! | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 2:52:14 PM | | Yeah I'm just wondering what other people are going to think, mentioned to a couple friends her age and they were saying "oh you should find someone older what are you thinking?" But it's not an issue with us and I don't notice her being young when together. And she's probably more mature than I am! | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 4:27:29 PM | | Nothing wrong with that. I was 17 and with a 27 yr old, most cudnt even tell the difference n thought e was about 22ish! I was with him a year and a half and we were engaged, so course it can work IF you have things in common :) Good luck! | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/27/2007 11:44:02 PM | Yeah I'm just wondering what other people are going to think, mentioned to a couple friends her age and they were saying "oh you should find someone older what are you thinking?" But it's not an issue with us and I don't notice her being young when together. And she's probably more mature than I am!
I have a good friend who is my age who is engaged to a girl who is at most twenty-three. That is a twelve year age difference there. I am sure there have been some snickers (I know at least one person who has) but they are quite evidently meant for one another. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 12/28/2007 6:22:36 AM | Typically 9 years is too great, but I don't count an individual out, I'm merely less inclined to invest energy into the relationship. Now if the person finds a way to make me think differently I wouldn't feel like a hypocrite either. There's nothing wrong with a sexy older woman who knows how to make her surroundings compliment her. There's also nothing wrong with a mature younger woman that can't find a mature SO in her own age range. I guess it depends on you and your other person...how do you feel about it? | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 10/7/2008 4:05:03 PM | | I have dated Women More than ten years difference in both directions! As Long as 2 people have things in common then what does age have too do with it? Age is merely Another Number in our lives! If A person looks 20 and acts like they are 50 How old are they? And If they are 50 and act like they are 20? And who says that one can not be with the other? Nobody! Our Society is so stuck on the ideals of age! But in many cultures Women that are barely old enough to procreate are getting married too men that are old enough to be their father worse yet their grandfather! Anyways I feel that it is just our society that looks down upon people who feel that any age difference is an issue! Well guess what! Too bad! If 2 people have the one thing that is most important (love) Then who cares if they are 30 years apart! Heck I know of a guy who is 65 and is married to a woman that is 23! And He is broke as heck so don't be thinking its for the money! okay I have said My 2 cents worth! Going back to sitting here doing nothing! | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 10/7/2008 4:24:01 PM | They say age is just a number and that is totally true... Why feel pressure to fit into a "cookie cutter" image of a couple:. the woman one year younger than the male...
Life isn't always like that...
When I was 24 I dated a guy who was 39 and ,I have also dated a guy considerably younger than I ...age was never an issue...It really has no bearing on the two people involved if you both care about each other and are mature..
If your gf was like 21 or 22 I would say it could possibly be a problem only because at that age you are still evolving growing and changing so much...at ages 38 and 29 you both have reached an age wherein you both pretty much are matured and know what you want, right? | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 10/7/2008 5:22:08 PM | | I was 8 yrs. older than my second wife and it lasted 16 loooong years. LOl 9 yrs. isn't too bad she'll be 61 when you are 70, that should work, provided you are together that long. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 11/26/2008 8:55:10 PM | | When you get older, age gaps become less and less of a problem. If age wasn't an issue, how do you feel about this person? Just date for awhile and see what comes of it! :) | |
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gcdeb
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Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 195 | |
| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 11/26/2008 11:39:27 PM | My last relationship, he was 9 years younger than me. It lasted for 6 years and we never had a single argument and and are still the best of friends.
I wouldn't see a huge problem with 29/38, regardless of which person was older. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/1/2009 2:25:35 PM | | I'm 45 he's 36. He thinks I'm 35, and evrytime I try to tell him I'm 45, he thinks I'm lieing. I love him to death, and I am worried that when he realizes that I'm telling the truth he may freak out! | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/1/2009 3:00:33 PM | | It shouldn't be a problem in your case, if the two of you are in similar life circumstances. For example, do both of you have a stable job? If she has children, do you have experience with children? If you've had a divorce, has she been in a long term relationship that ended, or is she divorced also? Those are some things to consider. | |
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| Is a 9 year age difference too much?
Posted: 4/1/2009 3:14:41 PM | Is a 9 year age difference too much?
NO WAY.
Maybe if you're 27 and she's 18.
I think once you hit 45, fifteen years is probably a better rule.
It all depends upon the people involved! | |
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